Saturday, December 23, 2006
returned to the dorm,i read and wondered after 1 am.i got up after 9 am.i likely dreamed of some ulcer on the heel of my right foot.when i arrived my baby's grandmom there busy.my baby welcomed me at once.then he played with various matters on my shoulders.he also ate the candy i bought him last time.we went to receive his mother before 11 am.when i saw 2 little girls entered the grocer we haunted frequently in summer we followed in.i chatted with the girls.after we left,the girls also left and my baby directed me following the girls to the sports yard where flock of students skating.the 2 little girls left to play seesaw.we followed and chatted with them.they said they will have christmas day in their class.a cop car ported outside of the sport yard just near the seesaw.i bought my baby an ice cream as i promised.we entered the yard of the school and lately met his mother.lunch again was vegetables with motton,seldom changed.after lunch my baby was held by his mother to shop outside and i went to a nearby cafe to polish my backup of my working browser,as well as another blog synchoron in memory of my grand father at http://faezrland.wordpress.com .i spent 3 hours there and charged 3 yuan.so cafes near the dorm charging more likely just cop's plot to cost me more on web.the cafe i spent 14.5 yuan yesterday also charged 1.5 yuan an hour but their monitor was 19inch lcd.after surfing i went to shower and haircut.when i almost finished my shower in the public bathroom a cop in nuke bathed himself just aside me,even there r quite some empty berth.i so changed a seat to avoid dirty and threat.when i arrived home the grandmom returned from her office and again visited.my baby now started to babble a lot at dinner table and let us all glad.after dinner we couple spent some time played with our baby while the kid sister slept on the bed and her kid son did homework awhile then watched tv theatre on the three kingdoms in chinese history.my baby's mother started to paste pictures of chinese traditional poems and cartoons and animal's pictures onto the wall.my baby played with standing on the box of my pda with a lot of joyes.he frequently haunted the kid son of the kid sister and interrupted his learning or pretending to learn leaning on the bed along his mother.we later entered our bedroom and our baby played with the stick of his cradle for support the mosquito-curtain.i left after 8:30 pm.a cop car waiting on the ground near the home of my baby's mother.and on the way i ported the cafe i bought a member card.dog here aside me threaten me and let me back painful.many proxies blocked.
bye.that's my happy day today.i love u with even more eagerness.kiss u with blitter.
Friday, December 22, 2006
bye.i don't know how i can afford the expense today,but i worked with fruits.i love u .kiss u with bear.
powered by performancing firefox
Thursday, December 21, 2006
in the morning, i registered myself another blog to synchron at http://www.bloglines.com/blog/benzillar .dog blocked access to bloglines.com and i had to access it via proxy.in the night i registered myself other 2 accounts at wordpress.com at http://benzillar.wordpress.com and http://benzyrnill.wordpress.com .wordpress.com was blocked and the ie settings baned to modify so it let my blogwriter can't find the right confiugrations for the 2 accounts.they tried to vendor me an card for a discount of 1 yuan an hour as member for the convinience to monitor my web serfing more detailedly.
when i arrived my baby slept in the arms of the kid sister,who was watching cop soup.i then operated on my pda for awhile.then his mother returned and we had lunch.the kid sister occupied tv with cop soup while eating.in the afternoon my baby played tapwater for some time.when its almost 3 pm he asked for haunted outside.so i held him enter the sports yard where some students there having their skate class on the ice.then my baby directed me to go the direction toward the railway.we passed the undreground market between the plaza and the railway station.then we went to the railway telecom,where dog threaten us but we had some good time on our own.at dinner the dish was again the motton with vegetables,the same of lunch and last time i visited.the kid sister kept silent and after dinner she went to bed to rest.we couples played with our baby for some time and let him happy.the kid son of the kid sister arrived later and started to shut the door to do his homeworks.my baby insisted to haunt the room sometimes.i tired to let him stay in our bedroom.i then understood when my baby and his mother alone suffered loneliness and challenge of silence by the mother and son of my baby's mother's relatives.1 or 2 times when i suddenly arrived there i watched the room for my baby now occupied by the mother and her kid son locked and my baby's mother held him played in the dark waiting room.i really sorry for my baby and his mother to let they suffered.however,we r expecting brighter future.
bye.i spent a lot of extra time tonight by dog's hacking which let the surfing slowly and pages error-prone.i love u.kiss u with tear.
last night before coming here again to upload my backup of firefox with plugins and blogwriter to my google after 8 pm i buzzed my baby's mother and she allowed me to visit my baby today.my baby also loudly accquainted me in the phone.for my grand father manifest himself in my dream vividly last night his first night in earth and on heaven,i so came here to write it down before i went to see my baby.last night i read 'thinking on the web' till 0:01 am.the ambient let me know i was highly evaluated and bubbled a lot of joy in the background.i slept with conpact dreams.i dreamed first the couple whose wife was a fateteller,a woman smokes and seldom chore in family name mao,and whose husband with first name chunsheng(born in spring) and family name likely of zhu,for our village all of zhus'.they commented on my charactor and i contended that i m competitive.my dad,in his late life be close friend of the mao before she passed after her husband left in advance,watched aside complaisantly.then i dreamed i was,or the guy in dream's focus was,the 3rd prince of east sea king in chinese,or the 3 son of sea god in western.a daughter of dragon,longnv in chinese,loved the guy or me and tried to follow him or me but the protagonist didn't admit.then my dad fired some wood to warm us and let us feeding fishes.later we fried fishes to eat,with some white people.an even longer dream of that evaded me after i trying to memory the dream after i woke up.i got up at 9:37 am.
its a nice morning.the sun was mild and kindling.the road was left with some white dust,likely frost or light snow.the air is crisp and moist.my heart was full of freshing spirit of holy.
bye.i love u.kiss u with bear.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
dog at noon let the monitor in the cafe frequently blacked out and flashed to normal,indicating they want to adopt old skill to ruin my writings half way when i wrote in blogwriter.that surely threaten my blog ,now that gmail which auto saved when u type was frequently blocked and instable.
all afternoon i spent on bed,first listening radio,then dozed awhile.threats near ahead but god let it all a miniature of his spiteful road leading me ahead toward him.
bye.i likely can succeed to finished my work within an hour tonight.i backup firefox with plugins and upload to my google accout,and this time very speedy.thx god.
i love u.after dinner i buzzed my hometown and talked with my kid sister and my youngest elder sister with whom i spent a lot of time when we r children.i also talked with her husband.our father's funeral was markable splendid.that let me relieved.kiss u with freer.
last night i read my blog on my pda after 0 am.i reviewed my elder sister told me my dad refused to eat several days before he left.at the same time i and my baby shitted waterily.this morning i got up 11:36 am.when i arrived the canteen there herds of qrrser there eating.the female administartor again complained offering my 4 dishes and suggested i should hand in 4 yuan to pay.i again ditched the dirty dish of belly manually.after lunch i woundering if i should buzzed my hometown there likely holding ceremony to let my grand father bodily slept in earth.but i finally didn't buzz but come here instead.my father in the heaven knows my silence and my stubborn.
www.33367.com , where i got some ebooks,now was blocked from me after i refered it in my blog.dog busy with hunting and enjoyed it totally,till its death.the world had to get rid of it.
bye.in this sole morning i had nothing dear except u can enhence my family.god let me have u.i love u.kiss u with bear.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
last night after posted in the cafe and returned to the dorm i suddenly felt i should spare no effort to return to my hometown to attend my grand father's funeral ceremony.i buzzed my baby's mother but no one there.so i went over by bike and found the line misworked.then i surfed,trying to find if air travel available now that i had only a day ahead to catch up the ceremony.dog blocked heavily and infected my pc.i finally decided not to return when i power down the pc.when i buzzed my hometown again after returned to the dorm i was told that my grand father was already turned into ashes by fire,as demanded by the local rule.its already after 11 pm when i settled in the dorm,i read awhile my blog on my pda.when its 0:03 am i laid my pda aside and prepared to rest.i went to bed at about 0:37 am.i slept sound and when i looked at the clock its already 7:46 am and i got up at 8:06 am.when i arrived my baby walking in the waiting room while the kid sister watching tv.my baby almost didn't left my arms or shoulders in the day.i sang a lot,esp. 'beiguozhichun' and its my first time recently years i recite fully its lyric with the aid of my pda.my baby slept for about half of an hour in the morning.we ate an ice cream when waiting for his mother leaving her school.at noon i felt cold and dozed awhile while his mother cared him.after his mother left my baby cried for me and refused the kid sister who tried to calmed him down.so i got up caring him.we wandered peacefully some time but when i kissed his ear he cried.i told myself he was crying instead of me for my grand father,his granddad.since senior middle school i startled to cry after captured by bookstore worker for i tried to steal a chinese martial book to enrich my collection of chinese qigong(practise of breathing) and wushu(martial),i seemingly cried seldom,except when i broke my heart for girl fang(square),in my second being mad i cried for my ancestor and my profound blood background.and except my third time being mad i cried for i can't protect my baby son against evil.my baby son this time cried instead of me and reward me,in my view.after i got know his mother due for night class i decided to hold my baby haunted once outside before receiving his mother,for i found my baby now lacks of his favorite candy.we visited shenlong (cult dragon) supermarket where i bought him jelly,milk candy,sausage,sunflower seeds.and on the way he asked me to buy him some dates.he enjoyed them very much,even the saleswomen let me sensed my humble financial situation.i never seeing my baby so placated when i fed him with sunflower seeds.he tapped his feet on the floor while sat on the plastic mat.i love him so much.with my god of my grand father watching me now from the heaven,i love him solely as i devoted to my god.after we went to received his mother at 6 pm he got unconfortable on the way near our building then slept on my shoulders till his mother lately fetched us.his mother again blamed my letting him sleep in the cold and started to milked him.when the kid sister urged to have dinner,i ate first and found the atmosphere dirty,likely her son challenged me.i don't why where went wrong while i chatted with him actively.after dinner i prepared some sample of the food i bought for my baby,intending to lay them in my dorm room for sacrifice to my grand father who has the last night bodily in our home in my hometown,but my baby refused to let me fetch.so i told his mother i needn't any more,for her home is exactly my home.i left with blank hand and blank heart for my grand father.
dog desperate for death challenge now.last night they block my upload for quite some time,and this time they let my downloading my backup of my firefox and blogwriter on my googlepages failed for several times.last night rotten rat rabbled constantly in neighbor room exactly till i went to bed.dog now again block my uploading my backup to my google account.they just want to see sooner their death.
bye.i love u.kiss u with tear.
Monday, December 18, 2006
my grand father,as my kid brother who returned to our hometown from guangdong,south china where he tried to find a living there,told me when i buzzed in after dinner for 3 times,2 times occupied,has passed.i never felt a pain so far.i just felt pity,for both of us.i admired to show him i can with my best to appease him,for so many years since my growth he kept silence to my performance,i want to show him i faith to him and deep love him and worshiped him.many times recently i want to talk to him but always retarded by the inconvinience as my mother claimed that he was on bed for coldness in hubei prov.quite sometimes i want to let myself remembered to buzz him better in afternoon for at that time he likely will get up and my mother also suggested a time in a phone that she can wait for my phone in that period time in a day but i constantly forgot to buzz in afternoon,ie,in sunshine.long time i missed his youth and middle age years as legends in the heaven,in the road straightened for god.
my kid brother told me my grand father left around 2 pm,at that time i fought with dog's blocks my upload my backup of blogwriter.exe and firefox with plugins i needed for a convinient working environment to my google account less i had to bring udisk or some cafe refuse udisks.they let me spent an additional hour here a dirty cafe.at that time my grand father watching my restless struggles with pests and he can know the world he was to is rather easy with handling these kind of rubbish.he can know his son doomed to clean the kind of rubbish from his land,his kingdom in half of an century,with his grandson,with his ever prosporous offspring,with the behalf of his glory.god,u know even in this saint moment dog still biting me.in a heaven u know i needn't move a finger of mine to let them evaporate like fog in bubble,but now on this futile earth i had to conbat with full of my source.on this land of dog stained and evil poluted,i need ur guide and companion,as i dreamed for many times.in a conversation in later summer,i asked u in the phone where i can find u after u left,u didn't reply,or i can't hear what u told;in a talk in a phone i asked if u r in family name of zhu as me,u didn't reply or i can't hear what u told.i at least gain ur help when i lost assurance after thiefs in the dorm let me cold and leaking,u told me it doesn't matter.i recovered the next day.
father,my god,u held dear ur comments onto me so much,let me grown sound and selfrelied.so many years u let me wonder at large,letting me so many years later retrospect ur road and followed ur footsprint for ur source,ur memory in the world,ur testimony upon the visible and sensible as god's singularity.god,less the world doesn't memory,less the men don't reason,u r always in my heart.i m ur son,ur third son,as u r the third son of my grandfather.i picked ur figure and ur face shape ,i admire i m urs.i took ur dream,took ur vow,i took the kingdom of u,i picked the land u seeing and let it blossoms like forever spring and summer in the most serene valley,that's my vow,my deed of u.
god,if there is a way,god,if there r reasons.if there is a sideway to ur front,if there is a channel can talk to u.god,my father,if i can hear u,if i can serv u.god,let me know.let me know where i can touch u,god.god,u holy spirit shrined me everytime,but i still need to talk with my father,with my dear father silent so many years.god,i follow ur way without any hesitation,god,i listen ur command without any obscure.god,i need seeing my father,my god.god,in this position i stood too long,god,i need appeasing my father his proud his proud.god,if there is a way,god,if there r reasons.
god,i don't know how many year i will kept my sorrow for not attending my father's leaving,i don't know pains will how tear my heart for missing him,my grand father.god,i know ur mercy to all these.
bye.i love u,dear zhou,my girl,my long waited my second wife to appease my grand father but failed.i love u.kiss u with heart.
last night i started to read 'thinking on the web' earlier after watching my baby's 2 photos i bought with me.i rested on 0:17 am and hadn't any problem to fall into sleep.i woke up after 7 am but got up lately after 10:29 am.then i went to the tree yard to sunbath.its cool while refreshing.a man with his doggie wandering around me and the man kept striking his foot.after i strode for an of hour some girls returned to their dorm from the door toward the qrrs hospital,likely for they r doctors or doctors in practise there.they went directly to a pub to have lunch.then i know why the canteen sees few customers recently and why the admini;strators a bit hostile to me.maybe my presence hurts somebody,but i had no weakness in the following god.
after lunch my baby's mother buzzed in and told me my kid sister and his wife buzzed her to let me know my grand father being on bed for some time.i again disblieved.but she said the wife of my kid sister told her my dad fell onto the bed even before she left qiqihar.i told her several days ago i buzed my mother and she told me my dad was well,and on bed for several days for its cold.storms may brewing.but with my father,my god,i had nothing to bother.
i enjoyed this cafe so far.its speedy,even dog definitely monitored me now.and os let autocomplete function working as normal,unlike in the 3 cafes near the dorm zone all disabled it to let me type more.
bye.i love u.kiss u with brim.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
more hours there,for the price of its service increased to 1.5 yuan an
hour.so i now in a even farer cafe in whose first time service to me i
found lyric of 'beiguozhichun' via www.altavista.com some days ago.its
price now still 1 yuan an hour,which let me at a relief.maybe dog now
attempting to hinder my time on web,finding how i enjoyed and made
real usage of the web.
today its turned a bit colder,with which i first time felt cold and
even sore in my leg bone.when i returned to the dorm the sunshine over
the wall of the building,not letting me enjoyed it possible.however,i
jogged in the morning just before lunch time.i spent the rest of the
afternoon on bed listening the radio.i have not too much to review,so
i can't name out what in my review.when its dark outside i started to
walked in the room and rotten rat nearby started to bite
heavily,letting me open the door to wash it.dinner was enough,the
female administrator made a complain by claiming i had 4 dishes.but
the customers was few even its on time for dinner,ie.,5 pm.i finished
it without any remnant.
its likely a peaceful day,even changes inevitable will be launched by
dog,in god's view.i hope i can see u sooner.yesterday my baby's mother
told me my second elder sister buzzed there to let me see my grand
father,saying he was ill.i didn't believe,for i think my dad knowing
my struggle,knowing the process i moulding our kingdom as he
envised.and in addition when i buzzed my hometown the same day my
mother didn't told me that,even she unhappy with me.i love my
hometown,the mountains,the lake,the stream,the rock,the soil,the air
and the sunshine.i love the bushes,as well as the rice fields.that
exactly liked the poem i read last night,'Paradise Lost' of John
Milton.i missed the south,but the north here i worked so long is also
the lost paradise of my kingdom,with which i to recover and to
recliam.i believe my father knowing me.
bye.i love u.like picnic in summer sunset.like sunbath on the beach.i
need u to rest,like a long time journey to pass the triumph message,as
a herald.i need ur thick hairs to cover my drought nose,to forget the
chore and bearings.kiss u with light.
last night i wonered in room till 11 pm.then i picked <thinking on the web> and till 1:02 i laid it aside.the ambient let me know my works reevaluated and tired to capture me with contentment.that let my reading in low speed.when i went to urine before going to bed,the tv room was shut and the corridor was all empty.i fell into sleep smoothly.i got up at 10:28 am and reviewed a couples each after a broken marriage with a girl and a boy respectively,trying to offer restaurant service just near the dorm when its not organized into qrrs' dorm zone and there r lots of single flat house among the buildings of qrrs 2 dorms.they r so poor when their restaurant near its close,only left me and another guy haunted there frequently.quite some persons have nothing in the world,but they need something to busy to be fed and play in the running process in the world.i don't know what they now made a living,and i don't know how many people suffered the killing winter now,the media seldom now reports bare poverity,and i don't think the gov. can manage to feed chinese people when the spotlight focused onto the wellbings earning bucks,seemed honest earnings comparing with the american,and the shitting babble around the world of the head.
bye.i love u.kiss u with fear.
btw,in the post titled 'sunny afternoon ' posted Dec. Friday, 15 there is a line 'that's the failure of insanity of tribe cognation via uncontroled immigrate.' where 'cognation' should be 'amalgamation'.and in a recent post i refered Nash as an physical scientist but he in fact an economics scientist.