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Wednesday, May 13, 2015

means in drizzles.


dreamt of academic nightmare.::in dream my passed mother encouraged me to join campus even I had definitely lost chance to gain my diploma. I talked with a young professor on way to classroom, saw my classmates there, and our mentor woman, Yangkexin, both far from me. I just so singly entrenched among them, spending time aimless and futile just for forgetting the sad end like blackhole. the late spring drizzle lasted more than 4 days. its so rare in Qiqihar, northeastern China. my towel in dorm even can't dry itself. yesterday I added my google adsense code to my 3 new dynamic sites powered by google cloud engine to allow display advertisements which can bring me shared income from the search giant. its so nice to see site vivid with fliers. an article about how to maintain digital legacy after decease also remind me how fragile digital content is without sustainable financial support. it takes a committee or company to carry out operativeness of website instead of elapse of human being. it took me 40 years before I find my vocation, and my engagement with my web presence just launched. OMG, I am in my prime time and happiest stage now, how I need to spare an executive team to long run my digital empire covers thousand and thousand future years for glory of the Son and his gospel! last night I doubted quite awhile if I buzz my son in such a cold and deadly silent night. I more and more reluctant to talk to his mom whose untidiness and dirtiness expels me, and I also hope my son lives in normal and reasonable situation even under the insane woman's custody. my son will envoy himself. my debt to organization now amount to ¥17,000, seemingly I had to apply for second installment. God, dad, u know how I unease with such a draining debt, and how I badly need currency to broaden my business here on the planet. guide us, as well as my nation, my family, peacefully through liability to bank. connect us with evergreen source of fortune, live life of prosperousness. thx,dad, in the drizzle I saw changes brings us advantage. God, land us onto our promised land where doesn't know anxiousness nor want.


saw so many classmates in morning dream. :: last night a drizzle just wet the ground. the dorm is damned chilly. I join quilt to warm myself after breakfast. so I dreamt my Nankai alumnus went camp. we settled along a small brook and will return to campus overnight. I saw Wenxiong, Chenjiancai, Zhousheng,and lots of schoolmates. the stream less alive, so many worms in it, I didn't want been infected so I just roamed among my busy grilling alumni. later I flied in the middle of the stream but soon my playful schoolmate dragged me down. My heart was sad, for leaving. my package not well tightened while march soon began in the dream. its really a relax to see vivid school life again. the trees and grass all new green now. but spring rain never formally addresses. my heart saddens in these days preparing credit cards pay back. God, dad, grant us free burden in life. improve my apartment's warmth condition once and forever. bring me sooner my Royal China to home me and my concerned. thx, dad.


dreamt of orgasm. ::recently frequently stay late online and sleepy in the morning. last night first a nightmare of psychopathic woke me up to pee. then dreamt an extraordinary Buddhist nun fight monks and conquered them with deep orgasm. I sensed the way reaching orgasm and satisfied. these days sunshine a bit rare, cloudy late spring let my dorm apartment cold. in mornings my leaking window covered with mists and disappeared till sunny outside late. my son finally now playing online platform. he loves to see gamers over the world joining in his game. last weekends he asked to play all time, allowed me to retire and watched aside. even connecting to servers frequently failed under China surveillance and game session lost, he didn't depreciate my efforts to deploy the platform costs dollar and improved Internet access. we got rid of the old wireless router which frequently victim of hacked. we dined twice delicious meals in the Labor holiday. one is buffet we never haunt before. a shallow drizzle wet some ground when we ate. another is southern Chinese cuisine, which so rich that we had to ask son's mom joining us. leftover bundle enough for carry home even after we three fulfilled. my son asked my promise to stay till 8:30pm and we did: near 8:15pm my son allows me leave when his mom urged him to teeth brush before went to bed. my 2nd elder sister finally offered her loan, ¥1000, to me and it really solving. my websites serving and I dig them casual and leisure. God, dad, I pray for ur salvage for my shortage of currency. we don't sustain large costs but currency of healthy lifestyle maintains consistent supply, while my salary deficits in 2 serial months due slump economy and industrial gloom QRRS in. dad, God, we do enjoy life we have now, except my longing for children and wife. pl lead us through tough shaky road toward dignity and glory. bring me sooner my Royal China and my children as known. bring known broad way to the promised land. thx, dad.


woz first online game platform.:: last week too busy to blog. we promised a restaurant near my dorm bimonthly haunt, delayed a week we finally fulfilled. in the week I purchased our first pc platform game bundle, from humble bundle in which "PvP: Garden War", my son's long time inspiration, enlists. $10 of my payment will donate by the release company, EA. I also donated $10 to Nepal earthquake rescue. when I pay, I felt complete, not only the goodness, but also empowered pay tool I gained since last year, credit card with world currency like Visa, MasterCard. my responsibility scattered without the financial tool. so last Monday I filed fourth application for PSBC credit card. Postal Saving Bank of China refused me 3 times previously, but I don't see why in its defiance. I have to make prudent choices to maintain 4 credit cards giving my poor income, but that's enough. my new adventure, 3 dynamic sites hosted on Google Cloud Engine, runs smoothly without much I can do now. visitors scarce but I will try my best to sustain its operative. I feel so bright upon our future, with my son, woz, Hope of China, God of Universe, with our 18 diamond domains. last week I slept dog-tired mostly, scampered through short dreams evaded recalling. I also encountered my 1st serious scam. Bankcomm leaked my account, which allows a scam call claimed represented the bank contacted me to sell fraud gift pack. the woman on the phone told me I will pay ¥99 for the pack but a ¥100 mobile fee charging card will issue to me. that's no loss, so I admitted. I absently paid when I visiting my son while the package arrived the dorm. after activated the charging card after I returned to dorm in the night, I found my mobile subscriber does not response. I search online, the case narrowly covertly discussed: forged charging hotline, forged gift pack,forged Ipad TV usb stick (virus positive). sinking PRC brought lots of scams. its police only interests in activists & social causes hunting down, but never criminals. they never fail evil but cost of hope of common people. trees budding since Apr 26. in a night green leaves appears among dark branches after a winter. municipal gardeners busy with watering street fence plants. some flower trees blossom in time. annoying dusts and sands in wind disappeared after stalemate weather dooms the area sultry instead of windiness. God, dad, isn't summer arriving like I dreamt of? I love summer, beautiful female skin and stylish dressing, breeze of shadows and water's baptism. let it come, dad, and bring me my Royal China! bring me my new family and glorious wedding. bring me through debts and delight of life here. thx, dad, God, in this pale morning.

Monday, April 20, 2015

God could know the saddening.


a strange hometown dream.:: in the dream I saw a pal, whose mother is a dumb and died early when he in teenager. the pal just broke his marriage and his wife was invited by my 2nd elder brother to dine together and discuss saving the marriage, for my old family is the leading family on genealogy tree in the village, as my elder brother told me in dream. the wife found was the daughter of another guy just near the pal's house. the guy has a female name, 4th sister ( Simei in Chinese). I also ate dinner among the family. I discussed philosophy with the sorry wife, who is a bishop in local church. she didn't has a accurate interest in the bible, and soon left after the dinner. the night I slept deep. the day before it, my son, woz, visited my dorm and ported a night here in bimonthly noble life experience, including cinema, Walmart shopping, dining elegantly out. we watched an English comedy, "Mortdecai", we both enlightened. my son anxious about my comment after I commented so many times upon things around us. next day I tried to install EA's origin game platform on his dell win7 and his favorite game, PVP:Garden War, from our recent purchased humblebundle, but unfortunately download broken, likely due to PRC's surveillance. my son complained too much time cost on the failed operation while gaming time insufficient. lunch before weekly shower I picked a new snack booth which cheaper than usual. then it turned out a huge mistake. the food is less satisfying, and we left rush and mistakenly left woz's cap and shower bag there. when I found my son lost his shower bag, which recently bought online costs ¥80, I scorned him sincerely. he likely felt I would care his bag while I took granted its his job. we walked near 3 bus stop returning to the cheap restaurant. luckily our bag saved by the owner and it returned to us. in shower I felt sorry for too many scorns and I helped my son shampoo his hairs and back body. I also bought him cola when a neighbor kid drank from his bottled water. we spent medium on fruits, but strongly recommended early melon to my son. he took my advise and enjoys the fresh and juicy fruit. his mom soon fetched him outside for sports, I stayed alone till they returned more than 1 hour later, just roamed and reviewed. his mom, a bitch, found I there started to curse again. I fed my son 3 slices of oranges then I left. Its a sad weekend, when I went to bed before sleep, review what I told my son events he even didn't remember when we fought for living before I last time lived with my mother after left him with his consent in his 2 years old among adversity. dad, God, u know all these memories. bring me sooner my Royal China to let the family history flow evergreen. grant us free of debt in coming years when we broaden our business here promotion democracy in China, the old glorious land scarred under PRC since the fall of Ming dynasty under my family title. thx, dad, this sleeping morning I survive.


GCE powered sites of zhone almost settled.::these days a bit busy. with aid of powerful google and handy web documents, I almost hammered 3 dynamic sites down on google cloud platform. they r zho.io, agarten.in, and bbs.zhuson.com. the latter is my long time promise for my hometown folks in village Zhudajiu where more and more families got wired nowadays but without cyberspace community. once prepared QRRS, my once and long time employer, its trial dynamic site, I gained some expertise on php. so setup php web apps not a pain for me, but setup web server on linux is fresh new for me. I intensified search the web for help on ssh,ssl and it didn't fail me. I had several night worked lately till 3am to quit. mid night usually productive. I also recently refined the 3 dynamic sites theme customization, header, footer, zhone's 18 affiliate domains link bundle, etc. sensible progress everyday steadily let me glad, even I know it would last all my life, for I need time to dwell destiny. the gay in dorm still barking all around me, but its echoes seemingly farer and farer. my son, woz, frequents several games and loathed to try new ones, so I was free to hunt and adopt him new adventures. yesterday I read EA release humblebundle 2 which includes "Plants vs Zombies: Garden War", my son's favorite but unable to try, I immediately ordered it. it will be our first online pc game. so nice! in the week I also equipped my dorm life a boiler cup, for dorm's shared boiler setup highest temperature 80℃, according the engineer's reply to my innocent complain, lest risk of blow fuse,foolish reason like himself. so, so many years I all drank water not even boiled. my new boiler economic for me, ¥45, and heating can improve room against its coldness due incomplete seal of window frame. and best cause, boiled water allow me enjoy better teas. God, my life always expects my new Empire of China last 1109 years ahead. this dawn dreamt I with my son in Tian'anmen Square. bring me sooner my Royal China in time my prime. grant me debt free in coming months till payment of 18 domains cleared. thx dad, God, in this silent morning.


dreamed of academy. ::these days preparing web apps brought heaviest hacking from China surveillance exhausted me. according online documents they should be working well but problematic in my cases, even local tests fine but on server side they broke, either scripts or database. when I reached a plan to rent a cloud service like amazon AWS or google cloud platform, PRC government backed hacking desperately intervened: they hijacked my chromebook's touchpad and messed the chrome os;they censored every web page I attempted to access and blocked or let page loading lagged.this dawn I was in campus again, with philosophy professors. in dream my main topic is every theory would expanding its scope by extending along opposing direction, which increases contrast forces' battle in observation, like any living creature. only changing reality in time's phrase alters the theory's focus and fade its concerns. its likely just a new school term after vacation. professors encouraged me to elaborate my thesis. some classmates, strangely none of my classmates actually, talked to me, one of them told me brutal conflicts in his hometown nowadays common scenes between abused state power and helpless farmers' properties. last week a late snow, lasted 2 days, an in time gift for farming, dented some photos in my camera. Chinese traditional mourning day holiday also just passed. the ugly tradition brought many foolish Chinese burning paper treasure instead of real ones in hope that will let their passed relatives in hell living well. the pollution and wastes really annoying, like Chinese government's took granted the sovereign around its people and land can be dictated by it. but bible long makes it clear, land owner, nor residents, don't holy mean they own. PRC desperate building in land Internet separates outer world, seemingly claims they own the land and population, as well as conversation on the web as their property, what a laugh! the world created by God, never any sinful man inherits. Internet and conversation online doesn't belong to dictation CCP, nor the territory and nationality, rather, they belongs to better world, the holy visionary. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China, my girls and my offspring in a closer date. let my mission here solid engaged. thx dad, in the pale morning fosters security.


to deploy web app on family sites. ::these days busy with deploying php forum, cms on google cloud service under zhone domains, bbs.zhuson.com and zho.io.China surveillance broke my os several times in developing stage so far, let web as well as database server unavailable times and times, against my effects to fix its ruin. exactly these days the shameless GFW, PRC's largest scale Internet surveillance, challenged github.com by DDOS attack which now a laugh of shameless and lowness and failure of ass.the abnormal gay in dorm still tried his best to stalk me, showing more it's a plot of high order. this morning I slept sweet, dreamt a woman IT staff of my once workplace dated with me during a summit.later I got know her parents, likely earlier graduate in Mao's era and migrated to northeastern China like me. sometime the woman mingled with her little daughter in dream, both proud and smart enough. I know they both treated by their family dearly. breakfast is delicious and the morning sunshine milk alike. last weekends my son, woz, Hope of China, roamed outside in his mom's community as his mom advised after we gamed a lot on pc and android pad. woz played awhile among outdoor elders training zone aside the stadium. we made nice photos. my dorm's windows not sealed properly, I reported to dorm director but she urged I my own to fix it. the neighbor new dorm resumed building after postpone during winter. this morning hammers and crane sang noisy again in crisp air, just aside my dorm. God, dad, I'm contented with this dorm except unsure if heat system overcomes leaking windows. grant us warm winter next year. grant us debt free and zhone's domain ownership consolidated. bring me sooner my Royal China and my girls, our offspring to come. in this silent morning I have no reason not to drink bliss of holy. thx, dad.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

spring song budding.


dreamt of flying.::these 2 weeks in turbulence. I moved to new apartment, in QRRS Dorm 1st. at first I thought I was chosen only for improving environment, which neat but insufficient heat let it cold. then next few days almost all the dorm 3rd residents moved here. the criminals tentatively don't flush toilet and bully again bring brutality and tensions here: frequent noises, savagery attitude in common bathroom. my neighbor room is the toilet, half built a shelter occupied by cleaner who is a fat woman and stupid peeking young men's private life for her emptiness. the facing door resides a man with bone problem which let him can't stand chest upright but cater to inflexible backbone and couch all time lest pains. he likely also enjoys alone his room, while most dorm rooms shared by 2 or 3 young workers of QRRS, but also more and more local mafias seizes berth here. my apartment windows a lovely small yard with some tall trees, but over a street there is 2 elders' gate ball playground. in the past week those aimless elders remind me what futile life looks like. the room facing northeastern, never a direct sunshine enters, except in morning half of hour some small red spots on wall aside of my bed around 7am. I had to watch sunshine outside to sense the brilliance of fine weather if I trapped by the apartment coming year. the gay, last night an American Movie remind me his dwarfism like abnormal short legs, projecting forehead, pestered me a few days, by stalking me. some days ago it even followed me alone into washing room and stared at me when I fetched hot water. I cursed in air and it stopped the beast for a day. then next day when I daily rambled after dinner it pursued me again and again next day. it tried all means to annoy me, to frustrate me. in the process I gradually had insight plots from higher order, in QRRS, in sinking tyrant of PRC. these nights I also had trouble to fall into sleep. in this dawn I dreamt flying again. its like electromagnetic skating, demands smooth breath, balanced firm while steady boost. my passed dad, God in Heaven now, smiled and encouraged me by his present noticed. I later even can carry my son to fly. we passed a 2 or 3 boys dancing band in their school. one of them tried drug for his better performance and likely addictive. its a sunny morning and I enjoyed canteen breakfast without been stalked. girls in the dorm last night shared the washing room with me when I peed for sleep, its so sweet among shits of gays.isn't it my nightmare to vanish? isn't my private life, peaceful and fruitful, commencing? dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China. bring my new family, my offspring when it matters most. grant us free debt, joy of being gifted. thx, Father.


dreamt of PRC's general & diplomatic minister, Chen. :: in dawn dream saw family life of Chen Yi, general and diplomatic minister of new PRC. he and his wife on vacation tour. his son likely friend of us. a film director, Feng Xiaogang, also appeared and commented like all his famous acid remarks. the freak gay in dorm still stalked me like a ghost. this morning he suddenly sit on my next table when I ate my breakfast, and tentatively walked in front of me when I left, even I lingered quite awhile after the insane left his table.God, the dorm director promised me I will move to another dorm among QRRS 3 dorms. any other dorm environment better than current one. the director said it should done latest in July. God, dad, rid me off these abnormal persons sooner. they broke hot water tank and other common utilities in the dorm, don't flush toilet, slam doors in front me, humiliate me with gay signals for so many times. yesterday my son and I equipped first time with our own bath bag, which costs us ¥100 and stylish. we brought shampoo by them to dico's to eat lunch before showering in public spa. we had good time in the Taiwan franchise restaurant. woz's pad has more new games I prepared for his play. my son asked me to spend more time with him in Sunday and we both made proud progress in video games each. my game and gamepad skill improved a lot in these years with my son's companion, who instills confidence and meaning of better performance in simulation like games as important as big business in the traditional world. the night in dorm I didn't watch video, but just roamed. thx God, glory of Son fulfilled me with faith. dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China into my new family. bring my girls and my new offspring under beautiful day light. grant me passing through monthly credit load successfully. thx, dad.


dreamt of lesbians in my old family. ::recently I quite times reviewed my old family. my mother who had tendency of lesbian and later encouraged my dad adopted his young apprentice who accompanied my dad for more than dozen years and finally tried to slight my dad lately. she wanted the gay apprentice serving my dad instead of her, who long time rendered caring my dad as boring and loathed for chores. her usual trick was turning herself sick and bed bound. but my dad seldom noticed and scorned her to resume our normal family life. my dad told me the apprentice tempted to kiss him when I buzzed him. I called the sick apprentice next day as a warn and told my dad who reached out me my action to fix. my dad almost unable to believe my helping hand, assured twice by me the call in the phone. that was months before his passing by the world he manifests so brilliant to me, his 3rd son. so many years my mother selling her cheat: she claimed the apprentice treats my dad well, sent him gift money, usual ¥50 annually without break, and I never found the fog that she wanted my dad gay, to spare her lesbian inclination. my grand dad never took it, but just let it go. he usually don't respond the gay apprentice babbles and fell into sleep soon, while the gay stayed lately in my parents' room, esp when I returned to hometown during school vacation. my mother has a sinful mind. this dawn I dreamt of my hometown again, my sister-in-law, IE. my 2nd elder brother's wife, a die hard lesbian, made our neighbor surrendered by her bitchiness. being a whore, a shameless dirty animal she drained my old family steps by steps. she also likely humiliated my first love, girl Lyu when she visited our house bravely without notification back to our senior middle school. for no spare room, she was arranged to sleep with my sister-in-law who just married my brother. my girl Lyu never returned to me after the night slept in our house. the sister-in-law even seduced her dog, which let my brother wanted to kill but it fled. these undercover events evaded me for years, but now emerging in the curse dooms my unsuccessful marital life. God, dad, in ur sunshine I baptized. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring my girl Lyu, girl Zhou, girl TW, and our robust offspring. let us pave ur road on the earth, dad, God.


dreamt of house and garden.:: seemingly lots time passed during these colorful activities with my son, woz, ending lunar spring holiday including cinema, shopping Walmart, dine out. I even less work log at rememberthemilk.com, for life so wonderful when U just taking things u like, with adequate financial support. woz previously less attracted by android games, but since last Sunday the situation improved, with new games I prepared him rather than encourage him hunting in google play store on his own. my sinful 2nd elder sister 2nd time told me she will loan me ¥1000 but the bait yet at large. so many cheap souls in my circle, God! meantime the weather, esp spring sunshine fills my heart with anthem of glory, and hope of new settlement. in dawn dream I busy with decorating our house, likely with once intimate 2 girls in my life, Liu or son's mom. I again don't act arbitrarily, trapped by financial dependence or son's mom's insane orthodoxy in guise. then with my son, woz, hope of China, God of universe, we gardening in our yard. my son enjoys the grass, bees, while I busy digging coins from soil where neat and solid. there is another kid unknown there. after breakfast in canteen, I reckon time to allow these golden memories harvests in my cyberspace. God, dad, these days more buffeting upon my faith. God, I cherish current golden silence before even greater glory ahead. God, don't leave me idle, leave me engaged. bring me sooner my girls, my Royal China. let me raise my sons sooner. thx, dad.