loving is the Sun.

23/4/2013

beautiful weekends. ^ last weekends sees growth of my son's dexterity and mental strength. he cried twice for burden too heavily under limelight when we played badminton in southern park near his mom's house, where herd of leisure people gathered in sunset. I told him be strong, and also saw my space to train his sports like badminton. his mom more and more bitter in losing and revenge, turns more insane against my reunion with my son. but not all starry scenes below us. last dusk a tall man, a gay dog, approached us when my son finished badminton with me and rest along the tablet for lost Chinese against Japan's invasion half century ago, trying babble with us while his real intention is to profane my son, by almost facing my son directly like a seasonal bitch. we didn't welcome him and least replied him who brag his grandson's badminton skill trained by him. my son later had to climb to higher rim of the tablet to shift the bitch's dirt. we made friends among kids there played and sometimes played with us. God, these days I determined to accept cloudy days as blessing. God, dad, u show me the bliss affirmatively in last night's drizzle, after a cloudy afternoon. God, dad, thx so much. free my Royal China humiliation, keep us intact among insane PRC. God, dad, clearer is see our promised future, esp upon new land of Japan and China here and upper. God, this sunny morning means so much in our positive.

17/4/2013

dreamed of police.^ dreamed in dorm in Nankai Univ., where I later found my radio, and a camera or video editor worth 2000 bucks or more, stolen. my alumni, Yuncaigui, a guy now still in asylum in Tianjin near our campus, or Chencao, a guy from my hometown and referred previously in my blog, tried to calm me and discussed how to deal with it. we visit police office downstairs when they having meeting. a policeman left, likely deal the case but later found intact. after inquest he told me I was recorded as mad and not allowed to sue. I had to ask somebody else to report my loss. I felt the absurd of the rule and deep dark water behind state security. last dusk I visited my son with rechargeable battery for our new wireless k/m combo and played video game with it. I also bought him KFC. its so nice a gathering that I felt assured from Holy. God, dad, sinful eyes fix on my Royal China. God, dad, fix any problem upon ur son's family. bring me sooner my girls and sons and daughters to seed our land. thx u, dad.

16/4/2013

dream of the only lost life of my Nankai alumni. ^ in dawn dream we graduated &packing to leave the campus. when I fetching my package from dorm where some sophomores chatting, my lower berth classmate, Xiao Jingdong, who committed suicide years ago in hard living with his parents tired to support him so long, grinned to me when I offered him fruits. lots of funs, also dreamed of burden of academic, during graduation. Its a sunny morning. God, last night moon is second newest in the month. promise me to allow me accompany my son heartedly, anxious free. Dad, I saw ur promise, and continue support. thx, God dad.

11/4/2013

dreamed of smart people.^ in dawn dream Warren Buffett befriended me, dined together &told me about successful investment. later dreamed of a guy in Zhudajiu, nephew of a smart bureaucrat referred in my previous blog, with whom I urged advantage of freelancer, when I searched out for my kid brother, or kid I deeply concerned, who evaded me for my carelessness over him. I found him in a play house where he just slept in a closet uncomfortable and fed him with food I brought. It snowed yesterday, and still cloudy this morning. I love the fresh air after rainy snow. God, u know how I look forward joys ahead. bring me sunny time when I live with my girls under Royal China.

9/4/2013

dreamed of campus life with my son, warrenzh.^ this dawn dreamed a lot. dreamed with my dearest son, warrenzh 朱楚甲，in Nankai Univ. where our school in military training. my once girl friend, a Liu in family name, with whom I kept love relation for more than 2 years and broke up in junior, revenged me and not allow my son in our queue close to me when we had rally lesson. most of my alumni watched it with smile. my heart full of proud with my son who is so cute. sometimes my son's mom turns his mom, emakingir in dream instead of the Liu. we likely trained to encounter dangers. the day before yesterday I loaned to buy my son a short white keyboard included in a combined wireless pack with mouse, for my son recently interested in keyboard pc games, like "Torchlight 2". we both glad with the gift. last dusk I visited him. his mom brought him outside to try scooter, my son almost mastered it. I shot some photos when they played in the nearby garden. his mom kept him busy with homework quite some time before we played "Torchlight 2", but we finally got touch the co-op video game near 7pm. we immersed in surprises and actions. God, when I can have another larger LED TV for our video game. dad, bring me sooner my Royal China and my other sons and daughters!

From 2013 in gaze

From 2013 in gaze

From 2013 in gaze

From 2013 in gaze

if shiny, if shamelessly, no between.

6/4/2013

dreamed of python. and my teacher helped me. ^ in dawn dreamed deeply my passed dad, God in Heaven now, help me fight python, mostly encouraged me less panic when the snake closely entangled me. then dreamed one of my Junior middle school Chinese teacher, whose name evades me now, helped me out of insane after a lecture or large party among scattering large crowd. he used self-studied massage, mind-guiding Chinese Qigong and other means to drive away madness from me till I felt my brain calmed down. my kid brother aside cheering up. Its likely a sunny morning. yesterday I again had to yell to son's mom, a cheap bitch, for her too close approaching and self-arrogant. when I brought my son dine out, a cop or self-claimed cop, approached us and tried hard to persuade me leave my current place to my hometown, intimidated me "bad folks here". God, breaking sinful PRC gathering cowards threatening us. dad, I told my son why I didn't biased blessing between him and my 3rd son to come, or among my offspring. God, bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me my people to God's shine.

2/4/2013

dreamed of a smart bureaucrat. ^this weekend with son resumed progress among our old games, including "borderlands 2", which let me happy. son, warrenzh, got his first bath towel after I felt my itching lower legs possible infectious. last dusk I bought him a bottle haws juice for I myself thirsty after napped in sunshine on canteen bed. He tried some but mostly swallowed by me with his permission. a lengthy dream in dawn in which I assured a bureaucrat to support me. the man married with a girl from Zhudajiu, my passed dad's hometown village where all inhabitants are offspring of same ancestor, Zhudajiu, and a girl of my passed eldest sister's friend. he worked as educational administrator. he managed to arrange me and his nephew studied in a junior middle school near his house and treated us in weekends on way we passing his village and returning to Zhudajiu. the meal usually rich than my family could offer. my eldest sister committed suicide during the period when I studied in the school, where for its near my sister's family, I sometimes visited my sister to enjoy my sister's husband's factory canteen's delicious food and even asked for money. one time my eldest sister refuted me, I hided in the house of my only classmate from the village and cried miserably when my sister fetched me and telling villagers around why she refuted me. I finally got money from my sister and that time clearly aroused my son-alike love with my sister, soon before she jumped into Yangtze River in dawn after dispute with her husband and never returned. the bureaucrat later moved to Wuxue, the county capital, and transit his business into a company under his control. when I first time trapped by asylum for unbearable losing love with a tall girl collegian, my sinful 2nd elder brother, who cheated me to sent me into the poor hospital, led me to visit the man for help find a job after I finished therapy. once visited the man in his office, where his akin nephew just graduated also there asked to be jobbed. second my 2nd elder brother brought me visit his house in a hot summer noon while he just showered at home. the man denied us twice. in this dawn dream he entertained himself in Zhudajiu in crowd in the foremost front house, of a family whose father a worker class in town. I persuade him vote for me or loan me earnestly. he finally retreated to inner house for dinner or what, left me alone. I felt the man smarter than usual people under sinful PRC in its recent hard history. I likely failed to won over persons in cozy niches in current delusive social buildup but I worked hard and earnestly. God, challenges thick ahead, results previous and predetermined, like Gospels. God, save me from trifle, cover me from meaningless. Dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China to complement my growing life so far in spectacular. God, I love love in commitment and offspring in sanity, God, dad, promise me like sunshine outside.
lunch is rich for me. I ordered fishes but got dried Tofu for fishes sold out, in my witness 3 dishes sold. I ate carefully and satisfied. in afternoon nap I dreamed my nephew, only son of my eldest sister, who now a small entrepreneur in Hubei, central China, carried his girlfriend with his bike proudly ahead our old family after his mother left them to my parents, on a bank of a large lake. one of my colleagues in QRRS, a Wu in maiden name and married a man in family name Liu, also appeared in dream. our concern later all turned fishing, bait, so on. then my abdomen painful likes token a hook. I changed poise to comfort myself before woke up by pains in stomach. I poo watery, and that likely worked, so I blogged here now peacefully. God, thx for ur assurance; dad, in this pale afternoon I saw hope clearly in sky.

28/3/2013

visited son in blizzard. ^ since last week, son warrenzh learned to stay in the neighbor's house to play with their son, a boy elder than him, after school hours. this night he even ate dinner in the neighbor. I visited him in dusk for his recent cold. I stayed in dorm in Tuesday for web assets, knowing his cold but took granted that he would recover soon. but he didn't, but was kept indoor by cold for second day, away from school. the all day is dark and started to snow near dusk. I buzzed him after settled my computer, knowing my ignorance upon his suffering. Tuesday dusk I launched to visit him. I bought him KFC but still he liked to stay lately in the neighbor's house before I got his companion. I read on his kindle in his mom's house and enjoyed. after waited 2 hours my son returned, upon his mom's 3rd call. his mom arranged him to write homework arbitrarily, left my son loathly away from video game "doom 3" I prepared for us. I left near 8pm, in blizzard lasting. the white world blesses me much, after 2 days clouds. this dawn I dreamed trying grasp economics by self-studies, in aim to teach my son and also my cabinet. I dreamed being in Nankai Univ. Its a wonderful sunny morning now. God, testify my dream comes true, bring me sooner my Royal China to home my son, warrenzh, and more offspring of us arriving.
in afternoon nap, I dreamed in a van with my Nankai alumni, includes Cuiweidong, who visited me last month, and Chengchao, the guy in Wuhan and from the same town of mine, Wuxue. We were from our experiment base outside of Tianjin. they slept around my berth on way, dreamed to mimic me, including my madness. I was very worried about my future possible family, living alone with my madness history in the nap. Its likely the noisy in the dorm drove me looking to my madness history's shadowy influence upon my chances gloomy closer to girls qualify. after wake up I retrospect my campus lower berth alumnus, Xiaojindong, who already committed suicide years ago, torn his diploma like what I did in my first madness in Nankai Univ. back to 1999. I saw somebodies born to die, born to leave the world, for the world edging their living space step by step, like fish out of water, like goat deserted on salty inland. I saw madness not mad as usual, but rational, but in Holy Spirit ignores gaps over death trap. I saw faith struggles on the earth on widest stage with lives. I saw dangers smothering my new Royal China from sinful PRC around. God, here is the laugh to my anxious in the sunshine on my bed now. God, echo is sunny air soothing the praying.

25/3/2013

dreamed of my once workplace. ^ In dawn dream my once workplace, a manufacture company's cable TV, where office politics thick upon new department reorganization. I bow to nobody among buying leaders. then my long time monitor invited me to work in his group which just equipped with new studio system. the OS incudes animation/movie part which turns out to let me pilot jet. I performed system check by flying highly&shooting down targets under pressure in its debut and found err. I concluded virus or configuration mistakes likely the cause, while as whole the os works well &advanced. the monitor, my long time work pal but finally broke up unhappily in real life for dispute after constrained careers ladder extension, risked to adopt me but rewarded by my indispensable in the dream. last Sunday I yelled to my son when he shown clumsiness in a pc strategy video game. He too proud to learn from others, so I told him as his father I had to mend his less smart behavior. then He refuted my days planned schedule, not to show in public bathroom with me in the afternoon. I had to delayed to next week to have haircut together and buy him a bath mop in aim to protect him from been infected by my skin virus which let my lower leg itchy for years. we also these days less engaged in video games, esp shooting game or FPS. but our weekly lunch in a nearby restaurant was perfect, with a tall waitress inspired me. God, bring me sooner my Royal China, bring my girls in our new family! thx, God dad.

From 2013 in gaze

From 2013 in gaze

From 2013 in gaze

From 2013 in gaze

morning light from the moon.

20/3/2013

dream of my passed dad and his dying elder brother. ^ my uncle died 3 days after my grand dad passed by on Dec 18, 2006. the dark soul endured to see my dad to leave, likely in bitter war in his heart envious. he suffered unhappy marriage almost all his life. in the dawn dream my lifetime kind Father sat on left, facing me, talked to me smiling. his brother sat on the right, we likely around a fire for warmth. my sinful 2nd elder brother on my right side to prepare death of the uncle. Dad, God, I knew doubtless who is the loser before this dream. Dad, glory untouchable over u, testifies this dream and this sunny morning.

19/3/2013

dreamed of romance in doze.^ in noon doze I covered my head with coat and dreamed lovely girl. an sweet lady editor came over to find why I, or my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, entertained so much in digital world, by style in non-mainstream, and she found it and shifted to support us. It sunny since morning, but started to snow near lunch time. now it turns wonderfully sunny again. God, bring me sooner my girls u promised me, and my son in his future that incomparable weighted. God, my dream comes true, dad, world u makes cater to us, by value the Son valving, from undercover.

18/3/2013

dream of secret association of my hometown. ^ in dawn dream, I in dash to get train ticket for lunar spring festival hometown tour while in sinking PRC train can be constantly scarce in the season. the Hubei, my hometown province, has secret geo-community around and I got contact with it. they lived in underground in deserted wasteland. they arranged me get the train even with their own car, among my anxiousness. then I closely watched their operation, their brain. also another young lady serves him. they made projects and had original ideas, say put their nest hanging on power line.
the past week I worked hard. less movement left my stomach inflated enough to hurt other parts in my body and let me uncomfortable. I finally decided to take over feazrland.co from my kid brother who paid the first 2 year's registry fee, after found he posed protectively upon my helping hand. he refused talk to me after I urged him to decide if adopt zoho enterprise suite associated with the domain. his dog behavior, threaten me by tighten mouth, refute by ignore, hurts me, so I exile him from the domain I concocted when I was in Holy Spirit adventure, in the asylum. now, I'd so glad I had a domain for my own first domain name, faezrland, with my son has another but direct, faezrland.me . God, dad, let's steer our Noah's ark out of bay now. God, bring me sooner my Royal China, to home my son, warrenzh, Hope of China, God of Universe, and to family my girls in praying for me so long.

11/3/2013

dreamed of my kid brother & warrenzh, my son.^ yesterday is a busy while wonderful day. my son, warrenzh, made progress in video games with me, who prepared the reunion for days when he stayed in QRRS Dorms. my son invited me to watch 3-D movie with which he watched previously with his mom. we planed carefully and it turned out a great success. we ate toast buffet in Golden Hans, then we went to the cinema by taxi. we didn't wait too long before the movie running. even the outdated shabby chairs hurting, the movie is nice. half way I shift my son onto my laptops to save his bottom from the stiff chair. also luckily we took a taxi among over-crowd before chilled down outside after the movie, when a heavy snow on Saturday still heaped thick. this dawn I dreamed my kid brother, who hurt by my knowledge on Internet & tighten his mouth for resentment, visited me here. I encouraged him being more open, confident and he made improvement relaxed. after peed I dreamed I with my son visiting a display, cinema or museum, happily. the time I hanging in the dream with my son is long but the vivid evaded me as soon as I woke up & prepared to blog. God, bring sooner my Royal China so as to allow me home my son, who growing & need my greater responsibility. God, bring me sooner my Crowded Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, and my girl Taiwan, who once so close me. God, dad, thx for the rich weekends.

7/3/2013

dreamed of genius & password crisis. ^these days heat dropping indoor in QRRS Dorms, where benzrad 朱子卓 lingered for his new family. I had to cover my coat over quilt in night. these days also draining, for my kid brother in southern China exert terrorism upon my advantage technical and expressive, by ignore ruthless my query and helping hand. this morning I dreamed the sinful monitor in office tempted me to leave my usb stick his drawer. but I found my err first &protected my confidential due before he notice. then dreamed genius kid, say my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲. likely echoes of an American episode, "touch", which so convincing, I watched recently. this is a sunny early spring morning, I got my breakfast in dorm canteen, which so nice. God, cease fire between my kid brother and me. bring firm my Royal China to home my son and offspring arriving. God, dad, thx for time I enjoyed and seeking more funs.

From 2013 in gaze

From 2013 in gaze

shiny love in air for blessing.

5/3/2013

falling bitch. ^ last night visit my son. his mother cursed me &threaten banning me reuniting son in her house. the night we didn't play video games as usual. I just waited while his trifle mom accompany him doing homeworks. when roaming alone in waiting room, I felt so lucky to dump her, the cheap messy bitch. I pray God shows me my choice so righteous, praying my son witness the end of evil in the woman. later his mom allow him watching animation online, he pushed me out of his screen as usual. but I notice many half naked woman in the Japanese animation, so I warned my son's danger of porn. on way leaving the house, God assured me intact of my son's sanity among the bitch woman's dirty environment. this dawn I slept deep, dreamed a lot about my campus life in Nankai Univ. on way back from check-in QRRS card reading system, I still felt the shame and dirty being cursed by the bitch, my son's mom, who nowadays more and more frequently called me freak. God, dirty in her mouth has to be swallowed by the spiller. save my happy time with my son in our weekly reunion. God, bring sooner my Royal China to allow me housing my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, Hope of China, God of Universe. God, dad, thx for the peace after shames of being cursed by falling demon.

2/3/2013

family got 7th domain, faezrland.me. ^ God don't let us anxious about things definite. after help my kid brother get his new domain, faezrland.co, I felt its time to claim my family a domain for my father, who bring out the domain spiritually, faezrland, back when I was trapped in asylum while my kid brother visiting us from southern China he hard earned for several years, in my adversity to battle evils against my son &my vested glory on the earth. the reason I so late to claim faezrland for my grand dad, God in Heaven now, is that I had urgent domains to serve, like what we had, be21zh.org for our 1109 years' Empire of China rebirth, zhuson.com for US and China under God's shine, benzrad.us for myself, warozhu.com/wozon.net/woz.fm for my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, Hope of China, God of Universe, in his title explicit gracious. at that time I felt faezrland is a far dream for my dad in Heaven. but in the process of register faezrland.co for my kid brother, I felt the urgency to claim my own faezrland, for due protection, for the holy presence. the next days I tried to contact people in my social circle for fund. refuted twice, the 3rd one I reached out, my senior middle school and also my Nankai Univ alumnus, offer hand within seconds' exchange of words. God, I saw the sunshine since the day U promised me. God, help us grasp firmly our web property. bring me sooner my Royal China, bring my offspring prosperous!

26/2/12013

dreamed wounded by iron wire. ^ this days very busy with setup my kid brother's new domain, faezrland.co. I felt its a great triumph to explore great product like zoho standard suite for enterprise. yesterday afternoon I visit my son with elation. he was proud of his progress in video games &gabbled a lot. this morning I felt sleepy for check-in QRRS, my once and long time employer. in doze I dreamed my foot hurt by iron wire. after checked carefully, I pull out the uneven wires in flesh and pains gone. God, my time is ripe for Royal China. bring my girls, esp. Asoh Yukiko, my Crowed Queen from Japan, my Taiwan girl who once so near to me, into my life in praying sooner. God, grant me a new domain for my passed grand dad, God in Heaven now, and my vested land promising. thx God.

19/2/12013

Chinese mafia gathering beyond me. ^ yesterday visited my son as usual &made proud progress in video game "borderlands 2". told my son I more and more upset by Chinese, esp. insane PRC. for recently I saw local mafia shown more recklessly to prey. one of my Nankai Univ alumnus also invited to meet me when his train journey porting Qiqihar. he lived hell &trying influencing my life's choice with humiliation. I more and more felt the ruling party, like its tyranny, was in flame and gaining speed spinning around, begging Chinese society in PRC help putting off its burning fur, as well as fat under skin after eras of indulged power, robbery &whoredom . It doomed to die in fire baptism, and new China Empire under my title emerging as freedom of Chinese under God's shine. this dawn dreamed of my kid brother in southern China, who operating a small business & recently helped me twice, paid a year registration of my son's 3rd domain, woz.fm, paid my order to replace my 2 wrecked shoes online. I dreamed the sinful cousin, eldest son of my dad's eldest brother, a fell bureaucracy preyed his patriots, like most cases in Chinese history the way northwestern dominator did upon whole China, and my parents and his villagers suffered. when I was busy with fixing my gears, my mother came and told me my kid brother dying after suffering. I let her shut up, for I don't believe. God, this is my prayer today, rid my kid brother zombie hanging around him, stop sinful blood thieves, due to my brother's weak will to live up, on him. God, dad, u see our fate of family, lighten up our road toward ever grace. God, bring me sooner my Royal China, glorifies my son's life with honey and pleasure. God, peace in my praying in this morning sunshine!

14/2/12013

dreamed of designing active books. ^ in dawn dream I started a small business. then transfered into printing industry. my kid brother or I wrote 3 very original books. I designed interactive form to display it. one is display on different parts of a panel. another is feeding with string, like tape recorder. I almost succeeded on it before woke up. yesterday a bit busy till near 7 pm. I guessed my son should return from his mom's hometown tour. so I buzzed, my son gave me a healthy welcome on air. I visited him with his dell notebook I fetched before his tour against thief. he played a turn of video game, "dungeonland". returned to dorm, I watched a sci-fiction episode about kids with super-power. the evil neighbor hit the thin wall again. I felt the chill &went to bed after 11 pm. God, Its so nice normal life resumes ahead, and so gracious morning light outside now. bring me my Royal China sooner to allow my honeymoon with my girls in time. God, grant us saintly life and family along life time.

11/2/2013

dreamed of my parents &academy. ^ in dawn dream my parents appeared. I too liked to lingering at home and forgot when the winter vacation ends. so I buzzed Nankai Univ. and informed I should return to campus no later than Feb 6. but the date was Feb 6 or later. so I asked my parents, esp. my dad, help me find excuses. my parents granted. nightmare of academy rewinds.
my son told me he losing fancy upon video games. God, I hope the day he leaving me alone to video game later. God, I can't afford him more pleasure currently. God, show us the clear and bright road to achievement, glory, and peace. now his mom will soon bring him on board to visit her relatives in other city. God, bring him a shiny way to enjoy life on the earth.

From 2013 in gaze

From 2013 in gaze

From 2013 in gaze