Monday, November 16, 2015

rare post in snowing night.


1st snow of winter 2015, Qiqihar. this dusk arrives my dorm when I napped in boring. ICBC sms urged me to pay back overdue credit in £5 for my family's localphone bill. I previously received and paid 1000rmb at once hoping it will cleared automatically. I now buzzed the bank's phone service and got known I had to clear 2000rmb more before I can order the bank paying foreign currency after PRC currency. I have only 1000rmb at hand so I sms my kid brother who has a small workshop and has foreign currency in business to help me clear my English debt. his sms arrived during my nap, like his mean style first investigate my usage even such a small amount, £10. I felt tasteless for dorm canteen's dinner after half hour emptily waiting my brother's help, and half way left to withdraw only 1000rmb from PSBC credit to return ICBC. the I jogged routinely. my breath in the winter first time freezed above my lips and kept me wiping. with so lovely pure white world, I felt blessed. after returned to dorm, I read an article about Russian, ie. the Soviet committed large scale rapes on battle field it won and undisclosed. the tyrant, Stalin, even abused his young wife and likely murdered her. that reminds me of gay's attitude toward woman, and long time no sex life results my possible insensitive upon woman's feelings. I recently really upset, even raged by son's mom's frequent scorns and despisement during my weekends visits my son. I felt the woman lack of due violent lessons to be such a bitch. God, reinforce me with merit of respecting women, instill confidence and patience upon my new family anticipated so long, my beloved girls. this night is my blogging rarely not in day time, save me from hopelessness during hard time of financial and emotional. coming year end helps me paying back my credit more on my own, free me from burden of my despicable relatives and alumni. bring me sooner my Royal China and my second child for the future of Empire of China. thx, dad God.
Photo Description: snowing night QRRS front square and training people after work over. 1st snow of winter 2015 not so heavy but next dawn will tells the scale.


dreamt of survival training. in backyard of campus, with my Nankai Univ alumni entered a wasteland when we tried hard to search for water, food and solving puzzles. Chen Xinjian singled out hiding in a shelter and made progress in philosophical readings. a strange classmate used his flag language communicated with a far end mountain and found rescue. a poor elder shitted on my shirt as trick so I had to tolerent him harmlessly. then we found breakthrough to escape the dumpsite and back to dorm area in the campus. then dreamt again trapped and a teacher taught mathematics. gradually I felt hard to follow and asked classmates to help but didn't work. most of alumni have difficulties but some brilliant minds grasping. I felt so frustrated and woke up. these days waiting for my second intel nuc, after successfully installed first one painlessly. I just feel insatiably upon computing portable, and I can make my research double profits with copying first trophy. this one much expensive with more powerful cpu, larger ram and ssd. its price almost triple as the first one, but I hope It rewards me that I can try some old games on it besides heavy office tasks. credit issuer banks friendly didn't warn me of over-withdrawal, likely year end bonus in its anticipation same as mine. with the order I previously shifted my first nuc to my son's usage, shown him how is home building step by step, rather than his mom's pure poverty in decades, when nothing improved in home hospitality, only bare shabby table and stools for her prey likes CCP and PRC's orthodox, esp. its education beauracracy compensated China non-constructive instritution since Open Policy but just for the ruling's teeth and mouth, her class students summoned forth for homework and tutorial with charging years by years. my son's mom's mindset is Islamic: suffering, zero accumulation but scattered predating. their life just means killing for living, never planned, systematically social gathering and distribution, no progressive achievement in pattern learning and integration, this render her tuition always screams scenario like kids. she indeed these years treats my son and me like pupils, scorns, rages, compulsive exiles, etc. unstable emotional and trifle facts, like nowadays Arab on world stage. she is a terrorist indeed, a muslim in guise. with mounting digital gears in 2015, I hopefully taught my son Christian world of accumulative innovation, holy plentiness, and constant building with cherish and self-esteem. God instills mercy among us, urges sustaining before change. God teaches obedience and dignity in every common person. with merit of inheriting, our society grows and enrichs.
God, dad, pl bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain the momentum China gains since Ming Dynasty under my ancestor. bring me new family to cultivate flourish forest. thx for message in this blog, and grant us financial capacity to have a joyful new year within months.


dreamt of aimless. in dawn dream I again lonely dwelt in railway station. 2 women likely proxy there arranging their cargos, mainly clothes, transferring plan, while I tried my best to prepare different plans for versatile future scenarios, like jammed textbooks for exam. these days dreamt less clearer, and sad for burdensome credits.witness so many people enjoy their lives while I brewed as penalty for lifestyle we enjoyed so far, I even felt a bit bitter and unfair. I reached out to a alumna of Nankai Univ but she treated me despicable, promised buzzing me back to let me hang the phone but never hear from her since. I sent her 2 sms later, list my financial data persuading her loan, but never answered. my happy time reuniting my son weekends also under deprivation, his mom tentatively arranged him more activities driving my son away from me.God dad, maybe its time to save expenses for dealing debts to bank but I so much enjoyed expense with aid of credit card hanging out my son.
recent news made me sadder. China should first cover all its citizen social welfare, identified whole society as national object, responsible to care its people's lifetime wellbeings, end separation and enslave of peasants and miniority, which agonized, humiliated and dissolving Chinese society so long, before allow again any couples to have 2 babies, recently modified outlaw to shift from one child prohibition, once and forever empower civilian has full authority over their nature privacy of family. resume freer birth policy just protect bureaucracy's interest to produce more human cattle to feed the greedy predator, who never allow least proper defence of their prey, no freedom of speech, no gun trade, no coordinated gathering. China now in the between of united society in Christian, and wilder predating Arabian in which everyone scattered except their fake God, where killing/torment is a norm and no standard for social unit equal, harmony of caring and love, where hate/fear in everyone against everyone exaggerates turbulent wilder birth rate and male supreme female while ironically the latter weight average there. social dissection catalyizes compete of human weapons, brings far more dangers and wastes among human than necessary, devastated nature resources and renders themselves helpless and self-destructive beasts. only mercy and mutual love confined society in Christian saves human from animal, from climate catastrophe on earth. without obligation for the life of the earth, without obligation of earth of life.
another news about elemental school abuse, frequently occurs in sinking evil PRC, never addressed by state but led me dwell. sinking CCP original from violent mob, and now it turns more harmful toward innocent human lives, including pupils. teachers half as bureaucracy, viciously predating students. the dark of China society sadden any mind independent.God, dad, save China youth against massive brain washing, immersive selfish, aggressive exploits, which even obvious in most Chinese colleges and universities.
dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China, my girls when we able to love and productive. bring peace and warmth in dying Chinese society slipping itself into brutal and bloody muslim.God, no one could save China nowadays except the Son. grant me the authority and the task to extinguish the draining darkness shadowing Chinese society. let Christian ignites torch of model for sinking PRC's following. thx, dad, in this silent morning.


brutal reality in PRC for kind people. what a terror being in China mainland. last night I read news about intel's new product, nuc and attracted. after researched some time, I decided time to equip myself this kind of portable computing device as redundancy. computing power so important for me I never felt enough. within an hour I placed my order for an intel nuc at amazon, during my harder financial time when almost all my credit runs out and income base history unsupportive. with the exciting mood, I read a terrifying story in sinking PRC where the dominating CCP bred: 2 dogs ate out limbs of a woman who trying help a little girl endangered by the dogs at large from near residential area. no one responses for the tragedy, not the baby girl's family nor dogs' owner. the miserable woman hurted so hard she ran out of tears in hospital, upon frozen chill reality in sinful PRC. what I can do to help the poor victim? angers long time gathered in my mind against dog-a-like CCP who since its birth targeting human and people as prey, and only thing they care is shotgun and bullets controlled to disarm and disabled common Chinese. when Obama yarned his failure to ban American people buying guns freely, I laughed the stupid and treator-a-like partisan his ill will never means to strongthen herotic American but the contrast. only weak Chinese prohibits arming themselves against evil, acted like worms and crippled in dust. tools, not human, changes the world on the earth. but some nations, like Chinese in sinking PRC, still in primitive fighting with bare hands and fingernails. they r enslaved by their sinful leader and government like labor ants or bugs neutralized for worn out, left the latter weaponized to teeth and monopolized. dogs in PRC mostly a second weapon for most of richer persons, who mostly insanely hostile to their patriots, neighbors, or citizens counter. those dwarfs competingly admire large and brutal dogs. most terrifying de facto nowadays is disabled news/media utility in society, allow the mob destroyed credit or memories about people's behavior. bad guys not need pay their hurts and killings, good people suffer for their properness and merits. the whole cycle/community darkly doomed, for no sight, no focus, but devastatingly scattered and erectless. the charging hand, CCP, itself a beast, a dog whose only doctrine is meat and corpse. only proof it accepts for their wrongness is their bloody death, their turndown by massive violent outburst. their mindless has to be preyed by mind, by soul which is holy. this dawn I dreamt blew half chest of a heavy nut by planting bomb in it. the bomb successfully clear half room for my usage. some of my once colleagues in QRRS appeared in my dream. when I mindly blogging on bed, the brutal story of the poor kind woman attacked and fatally damaged by loose dogs filled me with sadness and angers upon sinking PRC. the event happened 4 days ago, yet no formal reference in public nor official. CCP usually annually promotes national moral idol, why not this case? for they fear the failure of social enabling, failure of dangerous animals' control, failure of unity of citizen, fear failures harms their fake well-organized social architecture. they fear of frustrations Chinese people gathered in these decades. they fear responsibility and its consequence. God, dad, only Chinese government tried all means to disable its people for maximize its interests. guns only righteous when it used to defend oneself and should defend one's independence forever. dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China to straighten holy way for tormented Chinese. bring my girls and our offspring for the glory ahead. grant me financial plenty to cope my expanding business here. thx, dad.
Photo Description: snack with son, woz, Hope of China, in Qiqihar Supermarket, before join cinema at its 6th floor. we had favorite Taiwanese ice drink. here benzrad, the proud dad, in his son's focus.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

golden leaves leaving branches.


in world without exception. dreamt living among Chinese and foreign friends in western country. all familiar and lack of passionate due the familiarity, inc sex. then in my own house I farewell family and picked a football and left. then played soccer awhile with some kids on square with several footballs. I saw without exceptions the world will turn unenergetic and sedentary. I finally intended leaving behind my football those kids around and went for new and unknown bare hands. the dream likely an echo of recent comment my son, woz said on last Sunday when we failed rip 2 dusts from our newly replaced screen of asus fonepad for touch screen can't maintain intact after opening the sealed case. I said perfectionism led me sad upon the careless mistake, and my son replied, he also an perfectionist. each time I was capable financially to improve my son's living, I presented him the perfect way in time and space.last Sunday when I returned to my QRRS dorm, found his new moto nexus 6 arrived at dorm gate, I didn't hesitate and took a taxi to dispatch the gift to him immediately without a break in my dorm. I know he deserves perfect service, and surprise to enlighten the day. whatever the world more and more turns planned, surprise is efforts to pursue and inspiring to achieve. God, I know guaranteed barrier-breaking ahead, still I feel burdensome in my credit overdrawn. I know lots of testimonies ahead to train me, to manifest the chosen, but God, I pray here no matter how hard, joy of living baptises me plenty. I didn't anticipate war, I didn't anticipate torment, I didn't anticipate of destruction massively, just keep fun of living, run love in soil and root. dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China, bring google service here. bring delicacy I still enjoy. grant me more offspring, grant me new marriage. thx dad God, in this overnight rain and sunny morning.


dreamt of hidden state surveillance. dreamt of process of joining KFC franchise, which I occasionally read it from a KFC notebook in son, woz's mom's house when I accompany him writing his homework. quite some students there ate the fast food.I contacted 3 managers of the franchise. two of them, both woman, led me to another franchise where just preparing opening. from an erotic book I got know hidden surveillance from PRC government. with borrowed scanner I saw our family documents issued by government shows "unauthorized" tag under some classification. with the hidden separation in national document we can't buy largest KFC food bundle. but among those kid students, and in the newly opening franchise a tall woman lend us her document to buy ourselves largest KFC bundle. its a boring national day holiday in PRC now. I had to eat one meal a day in the week long holiday. Chinese holiday mostly borrowed from western Culture, esp Christian, but they didn't arrange holiday according week, the fixed circle among other time periods, like month, year, season, etc, but gathered and shift into an exceptional lengthy absence from routine life.Chinese in PRC hate ordinary life, they always anticipate selfish survival of world catastrophe in each family closed celebration to eliminates their rivals from disorient of united world. as to me I dislike Chinese holiday very much, and doomed it to change. but to my son, woz, he likes every chance to be free of schooling. we made progresses among pad games and pc games we loved. I especially glad won some hard battles in video games blocking so far. I also purchased first time last night on steam platform, for woz's favorite game he called it his golden time. my 2nd elder sister loaned me another ¥1000 which quite helping me fix shortage of credit after over-withdrawal. heat system switching from QRRS enterprise to municipal utility reportedly testing to run today. I already equipped my dorm with dehumidifier and works fine. God, dad, my credit already mostly turned debts unchangeable, pl grant us freedom to enjoy credit card as usual. coming months I have to pay our diamond domains, grant us financial support to maintain our cyberspace infrastructure. bring me sooner my Royal China to allow me feed my offspring, future princesses and princes, for the even greater prospective. dad, let our year end rich and meaningful.


dreamt of crossing fire. its a sunny Monday morning after my first relaxing PRC national day holiday since divorce my only civil marriage. for PRC mainstream likes escaping from routine and celebrating their tiny world's salvage through gathering weekends with holiday mostly imported from Christian to longest period to deny normal job as well as service mutual benefits.then I mostly out of meals and have to cost more to eat restaurant. 2015 PRC national holiday I usually ate a meal a day, but every meal I tried my best to treat my son, woz and myself a banquet. we also invited woz's mom once to dine together for the grouponed banquet rich enough for 3 people or more. she more or less at a loss upon the delicacy we enjoyed. then she gradually turned hostile against my dining out with son. last Saturday dusk I visited my son in drizzle. my broken shoes wet and I asked my son's mom to find me another shoes still stored in her house since our breakup step by step. she retorted I was not up to talk to her. the dinner with my son in a Korean cuisine restaurant in downtown turns gloomy. woz ate less, complained I picked him pork disgusting. when we returned his mom's house, all my shoes singled out and the woman demanded I brought them with me in my dorm. during the dinner I decided to soften my tongue lest crisis the relentlessly aggressive woman seeks, so I asked her allow till my situation improved, esp current dorm too humid. she glad to hear that and in the night she consulted me twice upon national ID card, removing my role in residential book. My assertion my independent living standard let her relieved, she wanted to assure she didn't burden extra losts in once marriage for a new marriage she and her mother must engaged for years and now almost forged. the night I watched my son fought in his favorite video game, "Teenage Mutant Turtle Ninja" I just bought him from steam platform costs near $15, unstoppable in chapters. his mom got her wanted and sad and blow lots of nose. I fetched 4 pairs of shes to my dorm in drizzle by bus. God not allows me too weak upon the demanding woman's intimidation after. the night I dreamt flying again, much confident and higher capacity of load, and helping other young people to fly. Sunday morning I made proud progress in my game, "sniper elite:Nazi army". my son partially on his pad aside me. when I led my son preparing shower pack as usual, his mom attempted interfering. she acclaimed son's swim lesson hygienic enough not to visit spa. I rebuffed and we left for early lunch at dico's, for the woman rearranged son's piano lesson near noon, hurry to catch after shower in pubic spa. my son enjoyed chicken as usual in the Taiwanese franchise restaurant. We returned on time, woz soon let to practice piano while his mom guarded aside him. in the night I dreamt gun conflicts with traitor in justified commitment. 2 Nankai Univ alumni from my hometown neighbor county, Huangmei, who help me dissolving among younger graduates when I sought master program back to 1999 without a proper candidate privilege and had to covertly borrow a berth in graduate dorm. the 2 guys also witness my broken heart with a girl collegian lives in neighbor dorm and exerted acid influence before I finally broke down. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China when it grows. grant me new family and offspring before I worn out. coming months will renew our diamond domains, guarantee my credit card capable and we actually affordable.

Photo Description: a full year's workout, QRRS 4th dorm completes in final stage. who will live in the nice building?
Photo Description: my QRRS dorm in 1st building, a humid, cold but neat niche benzrad never owns. poor as he is, rich as its meanings.
Photo Description: a clear sunny day from view of benzrad's QRRS dorm view. the road is closest to QRRS front square and busy no matter workday or weekends.


warm dreams. yesterday I first time put on woolen sweater in 2015 winter. the heat system likely examing, water makes sound through tubes. In the warm night I dreamt of my dearest dad, youngest sister in a camp, where dad's colleagues in forest station also brought their kids. my dad is so real and vivid in dream, that I woke up and made note on my phone for recall. then dreamt with my once QRRS cable TV station colleagues, they emphasized discipline to group themselves together. then dreamt in my hometown or a small town, I busy with fix an old tape, likes a floppy disk, my dad gave me as answer to my questions. the tape loosed outside and I managed rewind inside. then I hurry to buy a cinema ticket. near the box office there is a hole and a badger lives in. I managed to captivate it which isn't much hostile.Its a golden early winter morning, dad God, I just cash advanced from my PSBC credit card via a newly setup SPD bank branch near dorm to return canteen operator's loan. the very good news for coming month's credit pay back is each credit card's minimum repayment around ¥1000, much lower than September's.I will needn't borrow to deal repayment, and last month I had to ask son's mom to loan me 1000rmb with which she despised me. God, dad, I'm very confident upon coming years' harvest, pl grant us steady growth and consolidated meaningful moments in life stream that's our built. bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain tinder for future galaxy. let me berth earth again for seeding, dad God.

Friday, September 18, 2015

means rich.


woz's first smartphone, a nexus 6. first dreamt passed Nankai Univ alumni, Xiao Jindong, the only one committed suicide after failed to find himself social position after returned to his parents' house, working together with me in factory. he fixed machine while I assisted. then I lead to play video game in the factory. soon Wang Sichong, son of Chinese billionaire and web celebrity, lead several teenage join us. he has his own set of vr and played so immersed among the factory with his pals. but when I ready to leave with my chromebook, he asked to buy my game gear, no matter how much I charge him. I woke up with pride of my chromebook I bought from US with so many efforts and persistence in waiting. last week I experience so many joyful moments with my son. I more and more expecting staying with him when I can't find pleasure in my routine in dorm. to avoid boringness, I shopping online several times. delivery always excites me, but most exciting is handing over our purchased to my son and see him open the goods from e-commercial. a week ago I risk bankrupt and bought him his first smartphone, a nexus 6 by motorola priced ¥2500, for It rarely selling by amazon China, esp in a short period. otherwise I had to buy overseas and risk PRC's customs' seizure abrupt, for google products, even almost all digital tools, banned by the sinking tyrance domestic. it due to arrive these days, and I have been looking forward to it. my son, woz, last weekend brought by his mom to visit her hometown relatives. the bitch ordered no digital gadgets brought. I persuaded harshly my son fetched my pad against boring, and unfortunately the pad screen smashed when he tried to recharge it there with damned borrowed charger due shaky hands. I first time recently felt sorry and sad upon leaving old friend like the pad. but after visit local computer market, the screen glass told might replaced affordable. God, isn't it so nice? I felt more linkage with my pad, more cherishing life in ordinary. now Its Friday morning, this afternoon I will fetch my son to visit my dorm monthly. God dad, pl ensure my credit not all turns into concrete debts, pl keep freemium for us enjoying convenience and usage of credit as usual like currency. in coming year end pl help us clear some debts and ease to celebrate happy moment like others. thx dad, pl bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, and our glorious offspring, for holy task, for promised Empire and Royal garden nordic.


bitter Arab world, & dreamt of and its founder Leijun. its second night I slept in new and thicker quilt my kid brother bought me last year. its quite cozy in cold September night. in dawn dream I saw Leijun, founder of, a Chinese smartphone maker and known Steve Jobs admirer operating his company: training young employees, public relation, personal charisma. we didn't talk in dream for knew each other's reservation. there r lots of young people attracted afore, including myself needing investment, to the CEO in his prime time, a former long time programmer just taught by computer science from America soon after PRC's poverty drove opening policy, and he admits being idol. the blind young people reminds me the ongoing refugee crisis in Europe, islamic war in middle east drove millions Arabs fled their islamic nation, seeking refugee in Christian world. I hated the situation as known so hard to migrate to democratic world being Chinese, esp in PRC. those arabian losers in their homeland dump to advanced countries just as wished by their selfish tyrant in poor middle east barren by Arab thousand years. they silence upon the brutality in their homeland but in Europe they adopted all democratic means, protests, propagandas,human bodies as weapons to block police, social media on which most negative, violence, killing,torment brought ugly in limelight by them. Steve Jobs, the best son of Arab educated by Christian who built, will known in future world as most greedy profit squeezer and fetishism, and void of short glamour. Christian put hope in saint baby who saves the world, while islamic breed cattle of kids non-innocent and trains them brutal murderers like what happening in ISIS and recent war history in northern Africa. Arab pretends strong in the world stage but they do fell. in short time like apple into vain, world will see through the frequent cheats of islamic and Arab. united world under God will bring peace and glory to stage of unity sense, under clear undeniable truth in Majesty. God, dad, China on the half of arab and advanced western world. God, u put duty for my Royal China to broaden shiny way for Chinese apart from sins and falling. bring me sooner my Royal China to strengthen my base, dad, allow me have more children when I feed them. thx inspiring me disclose my discomfort upon times and times unbalanced indulgence upon barking islamic war machine, in this pale morning, God dad.


dreamt of warm love with a teacher. in dawn dream I was a father with solid life. he sent his son, not likely woz, to study in eastern Europe. his teacher is a cordial and gracious female. when chance came as she directing son running or some other training, the father approached the sweet teacher and murmured "I love u". the moment I definitely was the father and sensed how the love warm and glamorous, when the girl teacher replied, "I love u, too". she likely a russian or came from eastern Europe, and my trophy wife. last weekend I broke deadlock in game "alien rages", made new adventure with my son, woz's companion. in fact I made 2 progresses in the game when woz failed and shifted the gamepad to me. I told my son my guilty feeling upon recently seldom try video game, left him alone fought sweatily. but I also promised him I'm returning from dominating/exhausting joyes from shopping online. life will be stiller with making use of items rather than buying new one to fill the empty.Sunday lunch we ate formosa ( ), a Taiwan franchise. its western management style, rich and ready food, modern equipments including payment tools, amazingly attracted us. after shower I tried a new game, "Just Cause 2" we recently bought from, but woz soon picked it and completed 2 chapters in half an hour. shooting is funny, and gaming is entertainment, my son woz told me when I urged him to treat war field more immersive and serious in game to remain alive before reckless shooting and killing by tactically finding more shelters, more calculations before risk of life. his mom's mom returned from travel and visit her relatives in more than a month. when they returned, I left their house and my son to my dorm. just after I settled in front of my desktop, it rained dusk. in the night I slept in rain rhythm like childhood hometown. next morning I lately got up around 8am and missed canteen breakfast. on Monday I successfully activated my abchina bank account bound with new PRC's social welfare card issued to me via QRRS office, after twice delayed by the bank for equipment not ready. God, my life begging for love experience, grant me love affair, oath and new family. bring me sooner my Royal China to replace the sinking CCP, release the last sinful police state PRC into its due ghosty tomb. thx, dad God, in this shiny morning after rains.

Photo Description: a thunderstorm just after noon. the window view of my QRRS dorm, yard of newly building dorm 4th junctional to my dorm.

Aug 27, 2015

dreamt of bees pested campus. dreamt with son in Nanzhou Univ. with 3 years bachelors. there are many bees lives in the campus. every students have to care about not irritate bees from their worm above among tree's branches. I sometimes warned woz alone me not to cause bees' hostility in dawn dream which woke me before 5am. yesterday son's mom asked me to accompany my son for her school has assignment for her in end of summer vacation. I brought KFC breakfast and launched to visit my son. he busy with his andorid games all the morning while I dozed most time, after last night watched American TV soap "the good wife" overnight. we dined Japanese cuisine and I equipped myself another sd card for mobile storage. returned to his mom's house, I again didn't touch gamepad but just allowed son to play his pad game, even I felt guilty upon not gaming. I recalled and shared memories when son in his 5 years or so he asked independently tackled game challenge when we gamed together on our poor notebook, and even earlier an old radiative tube monitor. I was touched by how bravery and sincerity we treated pc games then and earned ourselves equipment upgrades in recent years we both witnessed, including online platform adoption, while I more and more left less energy to sharpen my skill among wonderful games, just like aged elder unable to bite more delicacy. returned to dorm I busy with finding an offline text editor solution till near 10 pm before quit. then again watched US drama. on bed I suddenly realized my son reported several times he usually relentless half an hour before falling into sleep on bed. God, in sudden insight of his sleeplessness my heart broken. I know how it worsen anybody's life experience. i know how long my dearest son, Hope of China, God of Universe, confronted alone with world most draining difficulty, sleepless and awake, for response upon the whole world in God's craft. God, dad, I enjoy naps so much, pl grant more sleeps to soothe my son's overworn intensified probing over the vanity fair. God, dad, grant me courage not to suffer for compensation instead of my son for his need of sound sleep, but plenty from void against zero sum game predicted by buddism, but in Christian salvage enriches both confidence and completion in relation between world and us. dad, God, Asoh Yukiko my Crowned Queen from Japan, bring me sooner my Royal China to safeguard my family's burden esp. in night dome. grant my son, woz his due relaxation and robustness.