dreamt in our family's cabin. we had a party, inc my niece and guest girls. then a guy spied us and joined our shuttercock game. we together beat the guy till he confessed his role. its late night, then we found in another room of the cabin, my niece lonely slept and fears darkness. then we sorry and visited her as companions. we competed with poems, including my nephews, for the peaceful night. yesterday I had good time with my son. since last week I warned him pedophobia he now loathed to hear my babbles, for my warn likely put his mightiness in constrain. but he is so selfless and soon accepted my companion again. I fed him with his favorite Chinese franchise restaurant, Seejoys dunplings, where I only have less than ￥50 in purse and constantly afraid of can't pay our bill there. next day, Sunday we dined Japanese cuisine whose bill paid by our subscription digitally. after shower I escorted him all the afternoon now that his mom not at home, till the grandma prepared supper. I complained boring after we tried video games and waiting for downloading. then I massaged woz, whose neck and back under heavy usage in his frequent android gaming and my concern to keep its resilient. my son more or less enjoys it. after that I tried ice bag we recently ordered online for cooling our legacy game notebook and works perfect, we applied it on woz's neck, head. later he wrote awhile his homework and I continued trying to sell the ice treatment. after returned to dorm, I busy restored my os which damaged by China surveillance, first time it tentatively disabled my vpn and forced me rebuilding it. the iron curtain previously constantly broke in but maintained my world web accessible. but they never gave up blocking my son browsing western video websites. God, dad, grant my son richer entertainment, esp overseas movies and TVs. forever win us broader access of world democracy and its media, esp google and twitter, etc, to ensure our source of sound news and judgement. help me cope my credit crisis with triumph, help my cyberspace startup succeeds.
Jun 18, 2016
yesterday dreamt snakes everywhere around me. this dawn dreamt borrow books from my 2nd elder brother and sister. then found in a month I will graduate and without job. so I go to Lhasa to work. but there my nephew, ie. first son of my 2nd elder sister and his son and other relatives electronic sucked and lots of panic, including some of evilous students I found from those paid my son's mom to receive her tuition at her house when I visited son. at last I tried to rescue my relatives and entered the electrified room, consulted nearby kids about safe spots, jumped and trying to reach lever to cut down leaking power then woke up. this week a bit busy, upgrading my son's intel nuc with new and larger ssd bought by my supportive credit card from PSBC even in credit crisis. China surveillance heavily attacked me when I prepare clean OS and backup on it. they desperate broke the minipc and blocked my son from enjoy American movies and videos through VPN I prepared. each time within a week after my clean built they ruin the encrypted tunnel, make youtube and amazon video inaccessible. and this month my once and long time employer, QRRS, likely busier with orders. my purse almost empty but now new salary would improve it and better. credit card issuer bank buzzed but now we are more polite, except PSBC didn't call in so far, on air. and some of them threatened shift me to its law enforcement department but yet happened. but the dorm canteen operator who lent me boarding before my promised pay, turns complainful. last night a heavy rain loudly sang when I bought dine out groupon by PSBC credit online. its just so blessing, so I dropped my son a phone even I doubt if its too late around 9pm. but he is agile to pick the phone, as holy affirmed. this noon I will reunite him in champion of new availability of entertainment. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China to host my family. bring lifestyle we enjoyed so far. help me alleviate credit crisis in this month salary. grant us happy weekends every week.
Jun 10, 2016
dreamt in campus with my Nankai Univ alumni again in practice lesson. I lost track when team launched. on half way I met some kids, I rewarded some coins to a smart boy. when I caught up with the team, they were leaving. I confused why these physics lessons so hard to learn and discussed my problem with others, like ballistic track, pounding force, etc. some of my alumni told me and I gradually grasped it, for human have right to know what's going on in their life. so science sometimes knows as curious as fun, doesn't always mean to change courses, to fix something, but it tells truth even boring truth. I met lots of classmates including girls when I arrived the camp. on farewell party I suggested a toast and lots of biddings echo from my classmates then I woke up. a rain in dawn turns clear even in my dream. its a mid size rain, raindrops make happy rhythm like my hometown central China summer rains. last night I first intended to suffer starvation with the only noodle meal, for my only have 30rmb in purse. near 9pm, hunger let me blue, I tried to shift focus from it but failed. then I gave in and intended to watch and dine out my son today, for according PRC calendar the Sunday will be a workday. I will have to shower on Saturday rather than usual Sunday lest my son has no vacation to do it for schooling. then I relieved and ate a candy I prepared for my son's visit. later hunger even urgent and I had to cost ￥5 for a street vendor snack nearby in the night. God, dad, when is we in no want? when our enjoyed lifestyle makes us heartedly settled? bring me sooner my Royal China to host my guests and under Holy glory of plenty we cheer up. grant me my cyber startup booming and credit as safe and likes a breeze.
Jun 9, 2016
lunar dragon boat day holiday slides in before my notice. this morning missed canteen breakfast among dreams and naps in early wakeup, or the dorm canteen already closed service in holiday like usual. in boring morning I felt all world pales out in others' celebration, left me alone and lonely. I felt cold and napped in quilt for warmth. near noon I ate noodles in nearby restaurant after found canteen out of service. the sunshine is faultlessly bright, but it a bit too stinging for sunbath. I missed my son very much but decided follow Christian calendar to reunite him in weekends, ie day after yesterday, and for the sake of my poor wallet, which left no more than ￥30. this week my credit card issuer bank buzzed several times, and I promised CCB whose clearance clerk woman quite sincere that I will pay it first with this month salary. bankcomm confirmed my unable to pay in time more than 3 times, likely will adopt next phrase operation to secure its property. PSBC still helping me with its credit, allowing me to buy what I need, like SSD harddisk and other item online, but its clearance clerk man too coarse to handle, just cursed me times and times likely repulses me with disgusting or maltreatment. in the afternoon I napped again to avoid boringness, I dreamt my shared workplace visited by 2 pals of my colleague, likely one of my Nankai Univ alumnus now lives in Canada, or the youngest son of my uncle, who both tall and bigger build. they invited me to name their company and trying using office computer to find solution. I was a bit afraid them using my computer, so I tried in mess and harsh to logout my computer but can't find keyboard in piles of paperworks prompt. then I suddenly shout out my answer, Tian'an in Chinese, totally safe or heavenly safe. my alumnus approached me to cheer up before I woke up. its sunny now outside. with classic music rather than podcast recently I listened more on google play I felt in right mood under bliss. God, dad, my income shortage now weights me down. I saw in decades my earnings from my blog and websites hardly supports lifestyle we enjoyed so far including my son since powered by credit card. dad, God, only your Mightiness covers our incomplete of life support. grant us freedom of financial independence. bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain the brilliant way ahead. boost my web presence and traffic that means. catalyze my cyberspace startup to success. dad, I'm so complacent with my web assets. secure them and let it deserve our effort to bring it out.
Jun 3, 2016
in dawn dream reviewed my passed mother helped my aunt's last child with her 2nd husband preparing his wedding ceremony. I regarded the 2nd husband humiliated my dad and hostile toward my dad and our family's success. but my mother always tried her best shown her hospitality to the man and my uncle who admired her. my mother likely hurt my dad much with her charm unselective and spare no expense. I was asked to join the wedding ceremony in my summer vacation and according customs carried bride's gift to fiance's family with other young relatives in our old family. on way a steep wet slope a heavy truck almost can't brake itself and dangerously slip downward and almost brought me down. I narrowly escaped the truck with load of gifts and many years after I thought its a holy salvage. the marriage didn't last 3 years and the wife left. my mother just can't trust her husband and fought with all her resources in her interest. then dreamt I made 3 portable devices for data mobility. the design so effective that I intended to shift to my son. this week began with idling then gradually engaged. yahoo informed me to logon to keep account active. when logon it require verification from backup mailbox, ie. google account. in the process quite some of zhone google accounts suspended for suspicious activities, likely PRC backed hacking. I tried several means to report to google, which likely doesn't support human individual handling, but machinary rules. but 3 days later, last night my accounts unlocked and I rearranged them as planned. its such champion like a breeze, I sang for the heroic giant public company. this week my credit card issuer bank buzzed 3 or more occasions, we agreed to shift my unable to pay back to next phrase, even I don't know what will be. my youngest elder sister offered me ￥500 and I used it for weekend reuniting my son, ie. dining out, and my medicine. I also tried to reach out to my teenage friend, now works in college, but in vain. the teacher felt guilty upon his empty hand and tried to assign me in some agenda to whitewash remnant of his redemption. God, dad, life here runs deeper now. let's enjoy peace of everyday. bring me sooner my Royal China to host my guests. bring me glory of Son. grant me independent finance in my startup. thx for the descending summer heat.
dreamt of students protest and negotiation. after woz 11 years birthday gathering, last night I slept deep. dreamt likely in Peking Univ I gathered support students and went strike against ruling authority. my passed mother likely there cooked for canteen and listening my appeal for student's right which is vivid in dream but after breakfast untraceable. yesterday I finally told dorm canteen operator that my salary freezed by bank and I penniless. she admitted my loan for boarding. my support son's living cost also cancelled, his mom already informed by me when she inquired how I will handle the loan crisis last Sunday, but even worse, I unable to hand over son's educational plan deposit, 200rmb/monthly as promised. she refused joining celebration I prepared for woz's 11 years birthday. locked herself in bedroom with her mother. I let my son waited for his mom return from her workplace is a waste. when kindles in position on cake by my son, we ran out of match, nor lighter. I previously intended asking son's mom to live cast the party via twitter's periscope but in reality I had to using woz's nexus cellphone live stream on our own. its aweful clumsy but at least its our first live show. I quickly left my son after the reporting, in the air of contemptuous the evil woman casted upon us. in the night I published our video of the cake party, our monologue. its a chill summer, now its cloudy again in the morning. but its far from clueless. God, dad, bring us lifestyle we enjoy. grant me financial independence, esp supportive for my son's teenage. bring me my Royal China and my new family to save the broken and sinking PRC in its shrink of deterioration. prepare me for greater event in my life.
May 25, 2016
first dreamt I have extra flesh loosely attached around edge of my feet. I carefully cut them off and my 2nd brother found worms in it. I watched it and saw 2 worms alive and my brother claim he saw more much smaller I didn't see. then I thought now that I long time can't gain my master degree in campus I should consider a job for living. I reckoned teaching English and perfect my language skill as mean. my niece asked me shift my tool, a picker to her, I admitted but loathed. then the ground floor of the building, an office of editors of a publish house, full with staff lately returned. when I retreated, I saw a guy on way and though him too poor, so I intended to offer him ¥5 in charity. but the guy shamelessly chased after me and impatiently peeking my purse and attempted using his picker like thief to take bill from it. I took too long to find ¥5 bill and enough by the harassment of the guy and canceled my offer. by a shallowly underground well, some woman murmured what a pity, seemingly I lost a chance to gain from my last kindness. I thought they know something I don't know but too many possibilities or conspirations led me indecisive and woke up. previously in dawn dream I painted and let my artist friends, esp. Tibet artist Benba Chungdak, check it. he likely respects it. this month my salary reached a historic low at ¥1468, which even can't cover our living expense, ie. my son and myself. I have anticipated it restored to normal, around 3000rmb, so hard. God, dad, what's the hell ahead for falling with sinking PRC, poverty and beyond protection of social welfare or civil war's cannon fodder? dad, God, what challenge I was set in? bring me sooner my Royal China for the salvage. bring me painless through adversity currectly emcompasses me. remove the crucifixion the Son reraised from. I with happiness with the Holy in the unprecedented glory.
May 20, 2016
dreamt of social mobilization. in dawn dream I was in team to allocate social resources. I assign reward/award for every personel enrolled, encode frequent used amount into quantity unit, embed short code replacing frequently used long terms like compression in propaganda slogans, which includes Zhao Benshang's northeastern Chinese folk ballad, 二人转. civil war's fog topmost heavy in the dream, we do our best to prepare for it. my old family's enemy, the second husband of my aunt and his offspring, one of them is our neighbor in hometown village Zhudajiu, tempted me comment on his youngest brother's performance, I said he is kind and popular. my passed mother in dream then asked me about myself, I said anyone knows me respects me. the enemy agreed. my mother glad upon my reputation. the dream is very clear and I needn't hurry to blog after I woke up. this week I mostly peacefully enjoy silence before change. I watched more movies online, esp love stories which remind me of my broken love in Nankai Univ with a tall Chinese girl collegian, and faultless escort of my crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, when she studies abroad with us. I also bathed more in noon sunshine now that summer weather gradually steps in. Qiqihar this summer peculiarly cold among world report of increased temperature most places on the earth. last night I watched a Japanese episode, life in additional time. first episode about a youth values vocation more important than family and died on site and regret for his family he even didn't know still loving him. second about common family how hard to find a better commodity like a richer meal in routine life. the good wife risk her life to bring a beef meal for her family before her decrease on rush road for discount meat. that reminds me of my burden in my trying best to support my son a better life so far, lends us to credit deficit. but I don't regret, and only Christian saves China and Japan. only YHWH blesses world of no shortage but plenty and glory in plenty. out of him poverty and chaos breeds like rats and murders like norm, esp. in Buddhism, confucianism and Islamism, in Asia and Africa. God, dad, thanks for the holy sign of rejoice. grant us a peaceful reunion this afternoon when I dine out my son grill mutton. dad, God, grant me more agile growth in my cyberspace existence. bring me my Royal China and its outline from distant view when I moulding Empire of China. fill my heart with love and brave. thx for the summer morning, God.
May 15, 2016
dreamt of summit. yesterday is exhausting for me after reunited with my son, woz, my most concerned. I told him my new source of confidence, new strategy to cope current hard finance. I brought him dine out with Islamic cuisine with which I again groupon and paid by my credit digitally, our favorite mean of dining out but forgiven this year for credit crisis and slump economy. my son less surprised but maintained acknowledged. I also tried to prepare his smart TV with more functions the android os powered. in dorm in the dawn I dreamt assigned to write speech for boss who will lecture on the summit. I managed separate headline and body of the speech, embed my family domains' site each part, for more appearance of zhone cyberspace existence. when the summit gathered, the keynote didn't take place, I only saw the labor union chairman of QRRS, a guy almost same period enrolled by the SOE and more or less acquaintance. I watched far from the hot circle of audience among the party and some QRRS staff playful with me nearby. we gradually retreated upstairs and I woke up lately. I don't know why I felt so sleepy, but I now have more time to sleep while my whole business stable and in early stage which means more patience. I likely wouldn't find myself another job to make a living, for I resolved to sit and dwelt with hardest situation in sinking PRC, my vested kingdom. I needn't another option to flee from my people, my land which so fertile and sustaining. I have vocation and proud of it, which is not weak one nor too feeble prone to protection of peer stable source of feed. I don't need a second occupation for sacrifice in my main concern, my kingdom and cyberspace startup. that's my rebirth of confidence from void in wane of hardness these weeks. God, dad, save my nation from broken, save us from starving and scatter of exile. grant me regal life with my son, my girls I entreated so far online. bring me life style we enjoy so far, remove my debt burden step by step when beholding my enterprise online. dad, God, help me live healthy and resilient in my mid-age.
dreamt first about resort in farming field to treat insomnia. my once colleague in QRRS, Chi, a shameless bureaucracy career chaser, also in the countryside camp and likely surveillances me. then dream being a rebellion, with his 2 comrades, one titled cloud blade, 云锋 in Chinese, one titled period blade, 节锋 in chinese. the latter likely betrayed to and murdered by our enemies. I with cloud blade probing the missing of our comrade, among risky mob of rebellions and counter rebellions. its a pale morning since last drizzling night. I missed 2 breakfasts and kept awake earlier not to miss it again. yesterday PSBC local branch buzzed first time out of its HQ that its his last call before possible seizure of my salary card if I unable return credit deficit in time in last chance. if so, I would have to make a living alone beside salary offered by my once and long time employer, QRRS, an old style SOE, whose poor salary forces me to loan and miserable. I yet configured the ethic aspect of my financial status, but likely change occurs now, for surviving myself and my son. finding a job always daunting challenge for me, used to be casual and common. lower salary or lower skill intensified, that's likely a balance I will strike. God, its not easy for a man in his near 50s to be relocated. grant us life we enjoy so far. grant us balance between personal achievement and social contribution. dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China to boast sinking PRC. bring me affordable entrepreneur for better life and time management, affirm me my building endeavor of China Empire, as well as cyberspace startup, valuable.
May 1, 2016
dreamt of Islamic woman and fantastic scene. yesterday dined in a Islamic restaurant we haunted a lot and where I especially amazed by the hostess for her exotic beauty. in dawn dream I with the woman on a giant dam control unit and watching huge flow. I then on guestbook chose a heroic name as my name. then in a comic movies scene I chatted with female partner and experienced adventure. I again chose a historic name as my signature. I tried to blog but its too cold to open my pc right the moment after woke up. I napped again and in dream I wording details for blog in dawn time. when I actually started to blog on my chromebook half put on, most memories gone. last week busy with reinstall os on woz’s 2 pcs which lagging and likely hacked by government of PRC. lots of data, esp. online games, await to restore before we enjoy the fruit of a cleaner system. one of my credit card issuer, ICBC, warned of possible freeze my salary card before I fully return its credit due. I reported danger of the scenario to my hometown relatives, ie. my elder brothers. they likely mobilized to try to help, but so far result unknown. I badly need ￥9000 injecting to my bad debt to re-enable recycle of my credits quota and living cost, while my relatives insisted disabled all my credit card forever, for they don’t want to respond with my debt, esp credit anymore. I love my credit card, my websites online. they engage me with workload and manageable, allow me define my maker from nothing, like what my dearest dad did and enable all my destiny on the earth. God dad, please allow me cultivate on my vested land. allow me grow vegetables in my backyard. I’m now in my prime light while aging makes daily work more definitive personally. rid me off anxiousness of living expense, focus me on building and expanding cyberspace reality under Holy affirmative. bring me sooner my Royal China for the better China Empire in 1109 years ahead. bring me my girls and offspring that’s vital for my destiny.
Apr 24, 2016
dream of my new wedding ceremony. my passed parents prepared me for new marriage. my 2nd elder brother trusted to manage custom and celebration team from the village, Zhudajiu. I saw my parents-in-law, my fiance, who is shy free and visited us the night before the rite. I saw clear I never saw her. last week banks' call for returning credit deficit were frequent. I buzzed my 2nd brother, kid brother and 2nd sister. my kid brother, likely the only one who affordable to help, always felt frustrated upon my conversation or appeal, refuted me 2 times, but finally called me back last Saturday. he got all my credit card number, likely trying to cancel them. he said banks' call disrupted him a lot and can't bear it without actively dealt my problem. God, no matter how large the problem, I always look my business bright in the end. but I really don't know how to return the ¥70000 in my so pinched situation. this month my salary in 3 serie months as low as ¥1800. I had to borrow to live up. my son woz last Friday night visited my dorm. we ate grilled mutton as scheduled. I don't feel like to put him in panic of economic slump. he more and more silent upon my trying insistently preserving elegant life we deserve. God, dad, I want get through hardness alone, with hope and prayer. God, I'm confident my debt, ¥75000, is not a big sin. help me re-verifying it. this spring chill lingers, and put my dorm quite uncomfortable. bring me sooner summer heat with life we enjoy. bring me sooner my Royal China for grace. save Japan from earthquake suffering, save my crowned Queen, Asoh Yukiko, and show us the union fastens our 2 nations in close eastern Asia.
Apr 17, 2016
dreamt of my once brother-in-law. this week I restored my 3 dynamic sites powered by web apps. cleaning data costs some time, but godaddy's cpanel quite helpful and setup quick. yesterday I demonstrated my work to my son, woz, Hope of China, and confessed how I love my own hut of communication, my own publication like the website. this dawn I dreamt visiting my passed eldest sister's house. my eldest sister committed suicide in her prime time, likely after long time disharmonious with her husband. I love my sister very much and my old family in debt of my sister for her marriage with a worker whose life much easier than ours in early toughest time of PRC. I dreamt my siblings gathered to visit my eldest sister's house. on a fork road stop before we reach her house, we met our brother-in-law, a widow then in dream and re-married in reality, trying repair his tricycle. his son, my cousin grew up his teenage in my old family after his mother's passed by and under my parents' custody with his younger sister, offer a silent helping hand in the house and delayed there after most of my siblings left for his mom. I tried to blog after got up but memory scattered and I napped again. then dreamt I was forbidden to communicate with the brother-in-law, but get a "matb" certificate of permission to create access with the past. I also dreamt I on my website considering published a worker's poems. he is an employee of my once workplace, QRRS. his poems mostly old styled and mirrors PRC old custom in communism. I likely then attending a site owners' seminar. last week PSBC bank urged me to return overdrawal of my credit card. I contacted my senior middle school alumni and one of them offered me ¥1000. even I badly need ¥5000 to facilitate fluit of my credit, I can't blame my alumnus' poor kindness. I hope step by step break barrier of locked credit. God dad, my web site, esp powered by database and web apps, is my contribution to the world voices. pl help me maintain it and let it booms. grant me renew my hosting plan graceful and reasonably secured duration. grant us the cosy workspace we enjoy now. bring me sooner my Royal China, my girls and my offspring in time. dad, let my dearest eldest sister stays in my heart and forever in love. let the coming history witnesses the blessing her concerned.