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Saturday, July 01, 2017

out of curtained chase, covert inflicting adversity.

Jul 1, 2017

dreamt of training of Royal member, ie. noble court and Prince himself. how his attitude toward his servants, esp 3 closest counselors/secretaries, can affect the quality of leadership. saw philosophy in ruled social interactive or code of eloquent. then dreamt with my wife treated in a banquet, with social skill just learned in train. last week's shopping online, a backup router Asus RT-N66u, finally ruined by PRC surveillance. the express, STO.com, totally denied the parcel it serving, just as taobao's logistics. the poor vendor kindly promised me to check why the parcel missing or went wrong, but after 1 day he rebuffed my call and prompt refund me instead, likely unspoken shame of PRC secret cop's hassle intimates him, seals his mouth from disclose iron curtain. with the money returned, I at once ordered another from different vendor now that the market is full of the product. within the day, around 4pm, the vendor sms informed me parcel dispatched. God, dad, how I glad to hear that! yesterday after read news that squareup.com offers in account credit service, I decided to give it a try. but when I trying signup the wonderful website, my internet worsen and inaccessible for 3 hours. I finally gave up and shut down computer. PRC dog likely warns me that even with most powerful network hardware, they still interceptive in my internet traffic, or blocks my financial connection with American service. however, after dinner and a thunderstorm, I smoothly claimed 2 zhone accounts with squareup.com and its affiliate, cash.me . without US SSN number most services out of my reach, esp highly expected in account virtual credit, or deposit in site, but still the wonderful service from the same founder of twitter.com, generously offers us 2 vanity url, https://cash.me/$faezrland and https://cash.me/$zuocenter . I can't be more proud of the operation out of distress of surveillance. in the week I also modified 2 online resource of google sites' widgets, both of google photo's, to fit my online brand, and deployed onto my portal. visit them on http://www.be21zh.org/regalbum . hope the author grants my reusing his code in xml file that show my google albums' rss source. and I honestly pray google sites, now confronted by google new sites, doesn't elapse into disappear. zhone assets based on the service remarkable hugely sustain. God, dad, this month I merely left ¥100, grant us a happy weekends with my son, woz, Hope of China. bring sooner my crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for better management of my vested Empire of China. bring me my second child as namespace billingzhu.com prepares, and his locked facebook account into using. with adequate financial support, dad, God, I live anxious free in this eccentric city for future open and welcoming eastern Asia.

Jun 27, 2017

dreamt near lunar spring festival at my hometown. saw changes in the village: newly built dam control gate and road. the road near dam gate left with deep and steep wheel dents due to insufficient budget for concrete. I saw our village field, flowers and leisure villagers among it. In dream I married my niece, ie. second daughter, the tallest in her sibling of my mom's niece in a village around. but we were divorced soon in dream and our son left me sad for the changing life. last week full of joyes with improved salary. my urgent bills wrote off by it. now with ¥200 loaned by dorm canteen I will visit asylum for medicine today. my backup cellphone, an old moto, hacked and ill behaved, so I deleted critical database on it immediately. it usually disabled both wifi and bluetooth, nor sim card in it. so likely hacker with direct control on it. I wondering if the facing door, a secret cop surveillances me since weeks ago, stealth into my room and injected it malware. my parcel from ordering used router for vpn on taobao.com, delayed a week still it only left one logistic information: dispatched by vendor a week ago, and nothing else happened in other 6 following days so far. another item, a usb card reader, its logistic information also hijacked several days till it reached locally before updated on time. PRC close surveillance sometimes made me sad. the facing door dog, with all its momentum after just settled, half open his door all day and night, unshakable anonymously fixed my door which was tight and sometimes my son in monthly visit even can't push open on his own, likely in weekends when I left to visit my son 3 bus stops away, just under corridor webcams' monitoring evidently and lawlessly. now that my broken door too loose to hold close breeze, I intended directly lock it down after I enter, distant from any spy around in guise superficial sharing privacy any more. the facing cop also in recent days gave up letting its door half open to peek and eavesdrop. my cold shoulders toward his posed free community but just surveillance from which he earns his dog life, likely conveys strong dislike and ruins his fool's joys and presumable fake poise. he also likely partially completed his mission: stolen my password keeper's database, infected my portable devices with trojans and keyloggers, licked my floor with its dripping messy tongue. the long challenge for a clean os out of controlled and poisoned environment in PRC's hooligan nation really drains me, let me feel boring and labored. what's laughable is that, the neighbor tall dog, once pretending cough every day and spitted everywhere in excuse of his illness, these days silently stay unnoticedly astray, quit both domineering and his condemn the tidiness of dorm public space. CCP authority has its power just upon those cheap souls and zombies which label price of manipulation. dad God, save me from fatigue of faith in long run. bring me sooner my Royal China to discipline China and Chinese under holy. remove trifle divided with merciless by forcible authority and in glory of united one. God dad, bring me sooner my crown Queen, Asoh Yukiko, from Japan, for coming age. bring me more offspring to sustain the 1109 years life of my Empire of China under title Zhu's. bring me lighter credit debt in coming months.

Jun 22, 2017

gradually people around me turns better treating me. my gaze when I jog in dusk turns some women and girls friend to me but also gathers hatred. reviewing women in my life so far, I sometimes touched by kindness and grace of QRRS Dorm canteen woman who operating the small business with her diligent husband. his husband is a tall pal, his kindness to his wife is enviable. these days I likely overdo my kindness to them, and easier led to misunderstanding. I always remember first time I met the spouse when their business just open, how the woman confident and contented. I then felt I can help her with her target, wellness & independence. now about 7 years passed I didn't miss it. sometimes love recalls my campus life, esp master degree seeking period when I met Asoh Yukiko. God blesses me with brave heart, whole vision and all those memories so timeless cherished. I don't want to hurt anyone, but the canteen woman's husband likely taking, for his less gifted, for his property appreciated. God, fix my poised with due humility. yesterday I gained a bonus from QRRS, my once and long time employer, just after a day my salary released, which increases near ¥500. the bonus addes another ¥500. with it I renew my godaddy hosting plan for another half year immediately. also renew billingzhu.com a year. with improved salary I ordered backup router from taobao.com, as incredible satisfying and enzymes me in super confident mood. 2 days passed I still felt the content. yesterday I also retouch my homemade gadget on google sites, which now tending to ban such hosting function and my in time usage likely saves me extra cost from google's wonderful and generous free service. see them on most of our zhone portals homepage, in section of blog rss feeds and tweets, youtube, groups, donation links. its nice feeling, for even I never master scripting skill still I probing those scripts and tailored them into my buildups. I gain so much from my education, my ability to self-taught. dad, God, bring me sooner my Crown Queen, Asoh Yukiko, and my Empire of China for larger comfort in my life, for fulfilling the proud creator life experience. grant us a happy monthly reunion 2 days later, and monthly cinema and walmart shopping in a pack with dearest son, woz.

Jun 19, 2017

Its a sunny morning, I felt obliged to get up and do something. Recent testing tomato router script put me in a worker’s mindset, absolutely nothing else beyond task memories. I dived so hard that I merely recognize other things than occupied by inch in inch progress I strode outward chaos and no effect. My son last Saturday lost his desktop logon confidential, So I taught him to reinstall windows 10 and roughly customizing before backup to image. He reluctant but worked with me, while his sinful mom, a cheap junior school teacher, close watching my tutorial on computer. She occupied her house every free hours out of work, grasps dirty money from tuitions she ought to offered on job. After 3 years and graduated and then 2 decades, she every more than 12 hours in a day earning from the educational bits even it's shabby in quality in her college. I more and more felt its insane. My son due entertainment ruined for his mom’s house forever a craft hut for his mom and her cheap pupils. In this view, I recently relentlessly equip my son with lounge TV and English programs, on which he enjoys and absorbs when his visits monthly my dorm and on my seat. I hope the moment he enjoys staying with me and my workspace forever prolonged. So last month I equipped him a touchpad k/m combo for convenience of remote input on pc and android TV. The Chinese product works smart even we anxious about keylogger and other spy wares lawless PRC breeds, in favor of dog CCP and state surveillance. My son more or less accepted my arrangement, promoting him from mobile games he excels now and adopting more language and expressive method as his new skill to master. I times and times urged him makes fair use of our borderless web. I hope he enjoys meanings in American culture stocked in amazon prime video and youtube, vimeo sites. My trustworthy video education, defied me in youth decades, pacifies me more than 2 hours daily, broaden my worldview and wishfulness so much that I have to put on forth my son, for his beneficial social experience and nutritional source of moral and spiritual. God, dad, my life so rich that I’m constantly complacent. Bring my son meaningful in his scope of activities. Bring me sooner my Royal China to protect her from poverty grilling the land and souls only left after CCP and PRC. Bring producing capacity our fatherland sustains before the burning out in cheap dealer like communism. Bring me sooner my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for unfinished mission we beset, among a never seen silver proud heaven on eastern Asia. Thx you, dad God.
Regalbum China
a newly budding tree in QRRS Dorm where the Son, benzrad, praying and sustains.

source: Regalbum China at zhone family album, Royal moments

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

threats of robbing in poverty infused PRC by CCP dog.

Jun 13, 2017

a relaxing dream in which I visited my artist friends in Tianjin art college. at first I dreamt with BianQiong, my Tibet painter friend, and his friend. they live in dorm like a family. then shifted to a house near gate and some of those students there working and chatting. I using English with a friend from my hometown neighbor county, who is humble and treated me well during my visited BianQiong in vacation, so the moment didn't paid him enough attentions but kindness felt. he sometimes mixed with my impression on another guy in the art college who also attracted me with his able attitude. we chatted in English but my English seemingly not fluent enough and sometimes the students there in the house perceived it. its a peaceful dream and I without any pressure but enjoy staying. last 2 weeks I too busy to blog. my son's nexus 6 lost after forgot to fetch after sporting, likely accompanied by his sinful intrusive mom, a really small woman and poor gifted junior teacher. but next day she registered the lost on local stadium administrative and it returned intact. I even disappointed by my son's loose management and bad habit, but ready to accept the misfortune. my son really glad to regain his nexus, he hummed upstairs when I waiting him in Sunday visit after the sad news. last week I under heavy government sponsored hacking, detained my downloading windows 10 creator edition iso. I also tried to rebuild router OS after disastrous intrusion. I failed times and times to make configurations backup. later I gave up backup now that if I left most of router profile default then will be less shortage of ram and lagging response. we also elated with new auto-connecting script and localized vpn server script, a byproduct huge finding during googling our problems. it fix our pains on ass of vpn connection which frequented by PRC surveillance and problematic and time-consuming. its really a great achievement saves. as though most of the weeks busy and fruitful, PRC surveillance turns freakier now. my facing dorm moved in some young beasts, one with stylish pig tail on his head, staying all day indoor gabbled. most nights when I went to toilet and back, their door left opener and room light turned down, like a sinister black eye hole peeking, just remind me their capable of surveillance, poisoning, and stealth. that sometimes made me unease, but I know who is more unbalanced and revengeful. I put my fate in holy bliss. let thieves trying rob me in day time and in shadows. CCP and PRC literally makes everyone poorer day by day, minute by minute. its a burning fire heap that destroys any surplus in Chinese society. God, bring me sooner my Royal China. bring me my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for better management of my life, of my Empire of China from my heroic ancestor. bring us surprise in this month salary day.

May 28, 2017

dreamt in a journey and next day we will return. I designed a multimedia and have to change some text in it. I tried many ways then found have to install then hack text string, one for title, one for calculation result. then in a class there are some guests. a black child played with my son and slammed my son's face. I angry with my son and urged him to slam back. then the black dad join the war and forced me to pay more attention and compensation. that's likely concerns about my son's English tutor his sinful mom arranged under a black man's lecture in her college, Qiqihar Univ, where she still felt romantic or fantasy. yesterday google alphago, AI powered chess rebot, beat all human Chinese go players. back to bed, dream continue about the lost. I saw some collegians lived around, like QRRS dorm stuffed by young blue-collar workers. I tried asking if they saw my suitcase. no one listened in their games. one of them likely my once QRRS colleague in tech department, Chen Ziming, who left QRRS for better career prospective decade ago, later told me alone that I too risky to put my baggage outside of door and packed valued items inside. I should pay for my careless. its a long morning and my late dream echos turbulent wind outside of window. last night my stomach painful midnight and I had to get up to shit twice to relieve the uncomfort. the dorm canteen's operator, the husband of the woman, turned hostile to me. the marching team in dusk around QRRS square also hated me, just like I didn't appreciate their noisy boombox and coarse taste of music, too. young workers esp close neighbored in the dorm long time grudged with me, trying all means to upset me, to hurt me. the dangers in mop sometimes put me in chill. but I have nothing but mission. coming lunar dragon boat holiday let me so lonely, like the Chinese girl Yang shuping lectured in her graduation ceremony in US aroused so many blind hates in sinking PRC young dogs, exactly her plain true thankful emotion toward American years educated her. dog PRC hated anything out of its humility. they turning China more and more mirror of bankrupted MidEast, purest poverty, now that they never care anything in the world out of their mouths, or their teeths' tearing and grinding, world of mere prey. God, dad, bring me sooner my vested Empire from my grand ancestor, for harmony Chinese family and life. bring me soone my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for sanity of nowadays Chinese society. bring me more offspring for future 1109 years my new Empire of China reset for span timespace. grant us a merry holiday, esp woz's last children holiday coming less than a week.

May 22, 2017

dreamt at my hometown with my old family who all catering a new baby whose centered likely my son. lots of relatives jammed in the bedroom once my old parents prepared for their first next generation's wedding, my 2nd brother's. I held the infant and sending him sleep but in a blink I only holding blanket while the baby missing. then on the edge of bed and edge of the entrance of the room, on uneven stone or plastic teeth of a plate the infant sleeping. his head left on bare rugged without clothes cushion but thank God its OK. we carefully shift him to new infant bed. my 2nd elder brother's wife, their first son, my 3rd elder sister esp helpful in caring relatives crowd. the infant under so many attentions that I felt he must be my newly born son. in second view during a break I thought he might be my brother's 2nd son's first son. the nephew married a neighbor village girl then soon divorced. he now rumored dislikes woman and kept single, that's his mother claimed about her own son in front of me in our latest hometown tour. I think he more likes his grandpa than his elder brother, who had 3 children now, and merits belongs to be our family members but not a clue in his mom who bold and shameless feminism, like generous, honest, integrity, kind, etc. I told him my appreciation in once QQ chat session decade ago when he still a boy. today is Monday morning. I again in chill felt boring and napped. yesterday I bought my son small fishes and shrimps from an elder amateur vendor who is lonely and hopeless aside the road where I went alone to buy fruits. I intended to do him a favor but he refused aid. so I bought his all he charged ¥15, a small heap small fishes and a small heap of shrimps. I left him a peach and 2 CNY extra and fled to evade the elder's defying. I told my son how small fishes with small hot pepper can be delicious for in my teenage my 2nd elder brother quite sometimes bring home the food material after his school, ie. he caught fishes in pond or rice fields after school hours. it left me life long appetite. I really hope my son find the delicacy but so far I unable to contact him on the phone about the dish the grandma loathed to prepare with before I left in Sunday dusk. I also bought my son extra fruits, including litchi and mango, peach, for my son loathed to let me buy fruits after showered in public bathroom. I feed him with litchi and mango before left him alone in his android games. we really enjoyed the fruits. on Wednesday I will fetch his birthday cake ordered online, and celebrate his 13 birthday together ( woz 12 birthday reported here). God dad, I recently felt more solider to accept de facto that my offspring limits to one son. I trust Holy arrangement and humble of my son's mother family, her insanity. God dad, grant me more children in my prime time. bring me sooner my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. link our nations, our blood bond on new land that shared among us. bring more laugh and companions in my life in family forever hospitable and bright.
BTW, these days media reveals misery of pangolins which extincting after sinful PRC Chinese insane appetite, God, dad, pl save the adorable animal, which is key to remain rampant ants lair everywhere those years under control. let's bee and pangolin forever happily enjoy the planet as we do. God dad, pl!

May 21, 2017

dreamt with ample details after migrated into US. an elder Chinese woman with her spouse contacted me for rent her house or living matters in America. yesterday I happily dispatched salary and sliced it into feeding small bills due monthly, ie. laundry, groupon for salon, spa, dining out. woz's birthday celebration also booked. local debtee received partial return. God dad, grant me next month reserves for my hosting plan renewal on godaddy. this week also somewhat busy. I napped on Monday morning after found jobless and exhausted after joys of reunited son the day before. Tuesday morning I restored, found I can add feedback form onto my google sites. then I launched to learn google form, component of Gsuite, to enrich my website's interactivity. my long time afraid of form and script in microsoft office suite cured by google form's easy to use. in an hour I built up my survey for my google sites and published, inc checkbox, multi-choice, rate, scale, dropdown, pictures etc lots of elements of interactive. google form's response analysis amazingly rich, in pie chart, bar chart, and lots of charts that's easy understanding while informative first impression. Friday I rebuilt my portable os on a retired ssd, after failed to fix ubuntu's lingering error. this time I made the bootable images more cleaner and handier. in woz's monthly visit my dorm, I demonstrated him my websites' new element, survey. and we enjoyed snack routinely, and hot water washing feet powered by dorm's heater just recovered from broke down. dorm canteen loaned me ¥100, but God knows how we satisfied in our companion and companion of hard times. God dad, my living so far designated to deal with a salary ¥3000/month, how real during hopes and joys in dealing with the only source of income. God dad, how I endear my life within this tiny time space here and now on the planet and before climate disaster, while we stride into big chances never seen holy grants. bring me sooner my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, and my vested Empire of China, and our future new land of north and water peculiar cold sweet. grant my cyberspace startup booming in business and influential of public mind. thx for my new summer pants with mobile pockets my nephew offered free weeks ago in my hard time.

Friday, May 26, 2017

woz taller now 12 years.

May 25th no doubt a sunny day, in the cloudy week. but since the morning I felt gloomy. I looking for it to reunite my son so much that sores. before heading to fetch birthday cake I trying complete remnant work concerning my future 2nd child, billing zhu's facebook account, which disabled by facebook cluelessly, the freaky dominant social network more and more likes a giant monster. I then claimed another fb account under id billingzh , and added it to admin of facebook page, billinzh. that morning before my work starts, the internet is dead. buzzed the dorm director who confirmed that fiber optic cable damaged by ongoing refurnish in 3rd dorm of QRRS dorm. waiting awhile I yet can't access vpn so I open my compute stick which has builtin vpn under windows. then I found the mini computer frequently automatically shutdown. later probe found likely usb power insufficiency is the cause. in first frustration I tried to reinstall windows 10 now that a month passed yet it can't get its creator edition upgrade, lest intrusion of malware. then found my downloaded iso image months ago broken, failed to install. likely sinking PRC surveillance intervened my download. for time limit I left rebuilding open and took bus to fetch woz's birthday cake booked online in the early week. I obviously felt failed on bus even didn't figure out why. in the cake store I mandated to show groupon code but my vpn on android phone failed to open shared sms logbook on gdocs and last ten minutes before settled. I tried to tease a young girl in the shop, claiming last 2 years when I fetched cake there was only a female, now 2 boys and 2 girls there so it must be prosperous. the girl don't understand but politely responded. on bus to woz's house, I more or less in peace. out of his elemental school the grandma also there fetching him, but soon left. my son in shabby white shirt and told me he just in performance within 20 kids performed e-piano for celebrating some event. and the weekends also shifted to next day, ie Monday will be Sunday agenda and so on. I just can't in ritual mood. arrived his mom's house, I arranged woz to setup birthday cake and shot for publishment. woz also less elated like last year's birthday with cake. when I asked him his plan for future, he again claimed want to travel, aside higher school exam score. that both failed me. exam score less important to me, an entrepreneur prospect of future my son, either, and travel with his sinful mom just too risky and reckless. and he previously claimed he want less travels after last 2017 lunar spring festival hometown tour. he must lured by his desperate mom who sought escape all times. he didn't eat much birthday cake I bought, which likely bigger and dearer than last year's. I also felt no mood to taste the delicacy, and soon left there. on way to return my dorm, I first thought It was just a case to refrain myself from indulging dwelling with my son weekends. I can suffer and that's all. woz can enjoy light heart everywhere and anytime. in dorm I published event photos and videos and more turned peaceful. then I gradually saw sins and risks in my son's spiteful mom's death journey. my son shouldn't take the bait to sink, by the weight of his mom's dirty tuitions she gathered in shameless home hours from preying PRC cheap parents. I sms my son lately around 10pm and told him my thoughts upon the undue consumer commodity harmful for a kid, for its his dying mom's entertainment, meaningless and drainful. in the next morning I napped all the morning, gathering courage to cope my loneliness and self-supportive. I decide to live up with my sites, zhone portal, for holy commitment and longest prelude of my 1109 years life of China Empire inherited from my ancestor, from my dad, God in Heaven now, for my son and my offspring still at large in their idle times ample and anxious free. God dad, I pray for strength and luminance inside for glow and growth. I pray holy mercy for the aging and solitary in molding my kingdom and generations. Dad God, I saw so many meanings in comparing Mideast and Eastern Asia, and life's withering and blossoming and their mountain difference. let me put it under lightment. let my mission more prominent, Dad God.