Saturday, July 05, 2014

since it stirs, it cured

5/7/2014

gained family 2nd credit card.^ its such a thrills and spills day yesterday when my son harvested our 2nd credit card, especially intends used by him online and offline. I admire China Post Saving Bank's credit card and applied it 3rd time via filling form in its local office, but none response. in last Monday I almost lost hope in it and an American Associated Press news article about China Communication Bank has rapid credit card auditing campaign attracted me. A minute after submit application form online I got affirmation in sms. its incredible fast and workable! I even don't believe its true after the painful applying process through PSBC's. I was afraid China surveillance's intervene like it did unreasonable. I informed my son the good news next dusk, he replied at once excited, for this credit card long time aimed to remove burden of payment all means, empowers his spending & facilitate his financial mobility. the next 3 day boils me in waiting the ems. finally I dropped in the ems office & took it before dispatched before 11pm. reunited son outside of the house of his mom, who tentatively locked us out & relentlessly compel me for surrender in her marriage hell, I let my son unpack the ems, went through activating the card via online and official hotline. even failed then we visited bankcomm.com's local office and activated my bankcomm credit card there. we enjoyed shopping online at once after dined out beef noodle, and equipped the new payment tool with my son and my own cyber being. in the night I didn't watch any American TV series as usual, but immersed in relaxation of harvest. God, u know how fragile my financial status as well as our online security. u know how I inspired by stride ahead into new realm. grant me space and edge to live noble. bring me sooner my Royal China, my girls into new family which would be fertile. I'm ready since the start of 2014. thx dad, God, take me progress in route of uprising.

28/6/2014

dreamt of killing enemay of my Royal China. ^ dreamed lenthily my old family, my siblings rallied and killed our long time enemy, a Huang, likely my once boss in QRRS. it costs many ritual skill & operations,and relaxing after completed it.

23/6/2014

dreamed of being open war against bureaucratic uncle's family. ^ Dreamt war between my old family &my uncle's.my passed father appears in dream, shows his leading bravery as usual. I gradually firmly stand against the sinful cousin, a long time bureaucrat, a veteran cheater &betrayer. he found his been beaten, turned lean on my back. I cut him off from my back, it likely a huge success, in celebration I woke up. fund raising for 2nd hometown flight tour hardly progress. 3 senior middle school alumni cold shoulders to me, one cursed me, one muted upon my gossip, both journalists, under tyrant CCP's manipulation. the 3rd one, kindly response, but held a position look out. my son likely curious upon the outcome, said him restless on bed in sultry night in the week. when we reunited in weekends, I casually found mobile of another alumnus I tried hard to reach out, I sent 3 sms in 3 days. this morning I boot up courage and dialed the number, which reported invalid. he is a governor. God, I saw so many affirmatives. I will continue to pave way for his Holy. but summer makes my city more enjoyable, thanks, dad, we won't lose if we bounded with this northeastern China this vacation. dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China, host my summer palace my family, with my friends deserve. grant us a new credit card, to empower my son's online payment, as u promised. thx, dad God.

13/6/2014

fund raising failed once. ^ after announced flight hometown tour 2nd in blog, I first contacted my hometown folk and also Nankai alumnus. he once worked for Xinhua News Agency, then open his own company, and now said bankrupted and worked as employee to earn his first month salary so far. he urged me to talk to him in night privately, and kept silent quite some cases when I tried to persuade his loan in cyberspace, ie. QQ, a Chinese mainstream IM tool. I buzzed in around 7:30 pm, ended after 21 minutes during which he carefully evaded rebuffing me while kept me explaining my cause. he likely an agent of China surveillance over me. here in Qiqihar, in 2 days after the announcement here, 2 guys somewhat acquainted in the SOE approached me and inspected me in chat, quite odd in my routine. the sinful alumnus even vended suicide, claiming his grandpa killed himself, and another Nankai alumnus of us did it several years ago, left his poor old parents in barren peasants. he targeted me as victim and patient. I defended my cause emotionally with despise till saw the trap of trail, indifference of tame, even profane, from steel certain of the despair tyrant PRC. this morning my QQ was blocked from login. so I napped. I dreamed with my son in his infant strangely. I blamed his mom didn't slice food into small pieces less choke him, then I walked into corridor to find him stumbling. I fed him water but accidentally spilled all onto to his back, caused him a chill. woke up I decided to publish the fund raising conversation which concerns my cause. web QQ long time bans me from retrieving chat history, so I tentatively broke some copies during psychic muting the demon exerted. God, dad, I know we will travel as we like. help me reach the pleasure sooner.
dudel2014-06-11 13:56:45
卓,我不知道你遇到了什么难以克服的困难。尽管我做出了各种猜想,但是也不一定能体会到你的内心,我期望你振作。请恕我直言,如果你像肖一样,我认为是没有必要的,我自己也曾有那样的想法,但是我的亲爷爷就是走的那条路,给我们家带来的是无法抹去的伤痛。所以即使我的公司欠债近30万(现已经停工),我也必须咬牙面对,上月我找了一份新工作,目前还没有领到第一个月的工资。如果你只是要孩子回来一趟,那是没有必要的,如果有其他困难,我尽量给予帮助,甚至发动黑龙江的校友来帮助你。我最期望的
dudel2014-06-11 13:56:47
是你能敞开你的心扉,请晚上联络1534*****
benzrad华中朱子卓2014-06-11 14:24:40
刚忙别的。我真的没有大事。我做最大的能力让我儿子活在最精彩的当下。信心,别无他顾,让我只争朝夕。
没想到你这么困难。我像垂帘洞的禅师,只知道抓紧我的事业和视野。我要带我儿子一年后重回老家看看,我要争取实现它。
看到你负担的公司的消息,很遗憾。你我都向往成功,没有其它。我现在勉强度日,但是心向高台。我借过好几个同学,但没觉得是自己是累赘,人所在地不同,繁简两重天。我信神的富有,救度不再其他,就在身边。我相信垂手善事,可解两渴。我相信我的生机可以分享,只要同舟共济。
我找你不是要救济,我要你分享成长。因为钱不是世界上最宝贵的,是人和事,是看得见的辉煌,弥足珍惜。
benzrad华中朱子卓2014-06-11 14:38:57
oncliff,你能亏30万,为什么我不能借5000?咱们差别有那么大吗?我有机会还想领教国内开公司的事。不要挫折啊,一寸险,一寸赢。
benzrad华中朱子卓2014-06-11 14:41:08
人生就像变法着玩。吃过的苦就是来日的甜。我没有出路,但不是不思考。
benzrad华中朱子卓2014-06-11 14:41:55
看到你的自述,你走的路不错!!
benzrad华中朱子卓2014-06-11 15:03:16
需要敞开心扉的不是我,是你。作为商人的恩格斯,不能不抱怨运营困难。

benzrad华中朱子卓2014-06-12 09:35:03
我还是需要你借我5000. 跟那些使你负债的客户比,我更可能不是你破产的主顾。看我的好的一面,是否值得你帮助。
dudel2014-06-12 10:09:04
请晚上来电话,告诉我你的计划
benzrad华中朱子卓2014-06-12 10:09:39
什么计划?有这里说不清的事吗
benzrad华中朱子卓2014-06-12 10:10:17
我很愿意跟你叙旧,只是为时尚早。
benzrad华中朱子卓2014-06-12 10:11:34
5000块不是个大玩具吧,老板,
benzrad华中朱子卓2014-06-12 10:12:07
你非得要评估我吗?
benzrad华中朱子卓2014-06-12 10:15:09
我们都经历蜕变,但我认同自己,在同一,注定的轨道。
benzrad华中朱子卓2014-06-12 10:16:30
有人快,有人慢。校友经济本应如此。
benzrad华中朱子卓2014-06-12 10:17:32
社会本应如此。纽带,不是这样吗?
benzrad华中朱子卓2014-06-12 10:23:36
如果纽带起作用,肖不致脱落。为什么要否认交谊?社会应该否认关系吗?
benzrad华中朱子卓2014-06-12 10:25:13
公允否认亲情吗?只有自然的社会才会长久。


Wednesday, June 11, 2014

shrink into dream of hometown 2.

11/6/2014

2nd hometown flight tour planning.^ yesterday I was sorry for distant from my hometown sunshine while Qiqihar, northeastern China, frequently cloudy in May, 2014 even in Jun. then 2nd hometown tour came into me, with my son via flight.then I launched to raise fund from my hometown & alumnus in Nankai Univ. I also told my elder sister who will cooked for us, and my son under his mom's custody to prepare. this dawn dreamt all my alumni leaving for party or treat,except me lost something &desperate trying to retrieve. my passed mother cooking banquet for us. she kindly urged me among her guests no harsh. after peed I dreamt I tried all means to evade but still proved solid choice in the 2nd hometown tour. last week google service fatally blocked by China surveillance, which brought many inconveniences for freedom seeker in the doomed country. my son made proud progress in his video game,Shin Sangokumusou 7 with Moushouden, and we talked a lot about the famous Chinese history and heroes in the period. I'm surer my world view shared with my son, glories under Holy. soon after our first flight hometown journey, I told him we unable to afford the travel,which cost about 10,000 CNY, in several years. he admitted. now I informed him my new plan, even among harder PRC's economy, I hope we share faith in God's, in his plenty, his save. we will go off on Jul 21 and return on Aug 23. we like travel so much! not several occasions when we met coach bus ported near his mom's community, I remarked, how wonderful if we just step in and leave for weeks. We need to know our free space and what its capacity. we enjoy absence awhile on our hard-brew duty, for worship, for elation of sure things and for proud. God, dad, I have insight on funding not easy, grant me a happy journey which means freedom, heats, delicacy, funs of play. dad, afford our journey wonderful as its last one, and brings more fresh in this longer tour. God, let me handle all the travel stuff to ensure our indeed travel. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Queens into new family fruitful. thx dad, in this sunny morning.

5/6/2014

dreamed of consulting smart guy about my dignity. ^dreamed anxious about my sexual arouse not strong enough. then visit one junior middle school classmate, Chen Yangsheng, a slim, tall and sensitive prodigy with enviable silver complexion and one of smartest pals in my memory. he led me to ramble and made checklist to test my tendency. after some close questions he raised to inspect, I entrusted him and told him how I felt gifted or chosen since I was young. a kid boy or girl squat near us and watched us, before we end talk and I woke up. yes, I really sensed how I assured about my destiny of chosen when I was a kid. I was trusted by so many noble people, including my parents and siblings. I was so sure that most things in the world won't hurt nor break me, eventually. I felt the pain and proud to claim the fact, before a scientist like Chen. its a mild sunny morning after sultry yesterday, and dwelling rains in May, 2014. passed lunar dragon boat day costs more than expected but joys be worth it. we rushed to pick a 3D animation in cinema but regret after found its a Chinese product. we also rushed to pick a steak buffet after movie, but son didn't eat much among the rich choices. next day I treated him fish hotpot, for I missing fish with hot peppers cooked in my hometown, but we again didn't find proper compensation, at least not in the meal. day by day I saw my son's growth of independence, it sometimes hurt by my presence. but at least this holiday, I saw my son delighted together. we made progress in video games as usual. God, I beg ur assurance of mighty of love, overcome of rebellious teenage and adulthood. I beg u of innocence of company in his holy glory. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China, my girls into new family fruitful. dad, God, allow my son space in such a condensed cell of surveillance. cover us with enough sleep in front of dark eyes and evil speculations. thx, dad.

29/5/2014

dreamt of Tibet alumnus, Benba Chungdak. ^dreamt first we making a living as street vendor. then Benba Chungdak quit. soon we found we have to make a living from scratch again, for our family, or our parents unable to support us. we first each vend on street. Benba Chungdak with his art college classmates, Li Moufeng, etc, grouped to sing opera in non-traditional way. in such a hard life in dream, I counted on Benba so much and prayed for better life for us. one of our relatives visited us but didn't help. finally Benba Chungdak and his alumni invented singing and lives a life by performance. When I wake up I tried to blog it. then I reviewed how I dependent in dream on him, esp in hard living. its almost 20 years passed since I last contacted him who waiting graduate in Tianjin art college while I just worked in QRRS, a SOE. May's deficit passed tearfully after my eldest brother's only daughter loaned us ¥1000. yesterday QRRS dispatched a bonus, including ¥300 to me. God, since the rain season I relaxed in ur bliss. these nights I watched English drama, "The white Queen", which brings so many meanings and visions, let me see how sin equals to death, and its trap the lifeless struggle. merit lives upright and timeless, while abnormal emotion/mind lapses like shadow. I see history self-reveals and doesn't explain. I saw glory and grace untouchable. I saw throne in my title as prescribed. God, long wave of historical acting roles' influence is so clear and delusive for a usual human lifespan, I beg ur mercy and fortress. God, dad, lead my Royal China through 1109 years' China Empire coming wholly and pure. bring my girls and children beautiful and mighty. thx, dad, God.

21/5/2014

Dreamt eating fish with childhood pals in hometown village. ^likely I missing some childhood friends, like Zhu Yangchun who graduate and open his dental clinic in a small town then shift to HuangShi, 2nd level metropolis in Hubei Prov., Zhu Hongnong, one of my best friend in Zhudajiu, whose father is a worker and fed his family well,etc. this dawn dreamt we gathered in hometown village, Zhudajiu. I bought a squid. we started to eat its small parts. then I asked a pal's mother, a kind woman and died in her prime time, took its remain from her lintel or balcony. I shift it to where we gathered. its alive and cling onto my skin with its suckers. I feared somehow and read instruction how to kill it quick. arrived the place I asked pals kill it smart with scissor, knife. we then enjoyed the delicacy I recently frequently missing. last night it likely shallowly rained. I saw wet ground from window in dawn. my niece loaned me last night, remitted me around 11am. God, the dream shown me how many kind and fantastic people stayed joyfully in my life, enrich my past so much. no matter how frustrated sometimes by my tribe, I was enchanted by them. God, dad, reinforce me with faith in world justice. God, grant us a fish banquet this month or later. bring me sooner my Royal China to revitalize me. thx, dad God.
From 2014 admires
From 2014 admires
From 2014 admires

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

a year's plan in the summer time.

20/5/2014

an in time rain again. ^ last dusk I was chased by dogs. dirty old woman tried to defame me. in the night I should enjoy American TV dramas, but recent PRC banned lots of culture products overseas, claiming they against PRC's moral system. but I still find fun alone and idle. the rain didn't start when I went to bed, but in dawn its rhythm brought me dreams and peace. I dreamt as an intern in CCTV, PRC's assigned authoritative and dominative media. I interviewed by high rank cadre of the media tyrant & fear of clumsy. I indeed in dream of poor qualified, in fact felt miserably uncompetitive.then I did field survey of society, in minority area.a kid &his elder sister talk with us in their mountain village. they are funcy and cute. dad, God, so many burdens and hostility around my Royal China, so many protection U put us and stand us upright, God, I don't deserve a complaint for bareness nor dependence. the battle last long while I prone to homesick. God, dad, coming years more depressing in the economy as well as social and politics. God, guide me and my beloved through the warren and safe onto my promised land. God, dad, in this raining morning, with my girl Lyu's attending, I felt steady and inspired.

12/5/2014

a blessing rain from my girl Lyu.^ this week felt extreme lucky. I got my own 5 letters domain, zhone.mobi, for my long time used namespace for my family, an alias of oneizh for whose logo I designed years ago. during hard time of PRC's sliding low economy, I cling to concrete asset like the domain, with which I gathered courage to buy 5 years at once. my debt this month amounts to near ¥2000, but I felt easier since last sunny day and moisture days follow. this week also especially long for PRC public calendar shift labor day vacation and made the workweek 6 days. My son hesitated to me when we reunited. later he explained last week I blamed he didn't try new video games hurt him. we soon enjoyed together again, with lots of game playing. I treated him Dico's lunch after more than a month's break for hard economy. the weekend can't be more splendid. this dawn I dreamt first helping my 2nd elder bro rip ghost from his son or grand son.then dream on a train, usually most jamming and noise and dirty travel method, we occupied a small space,say kitchen, and cozy.after a meeting, one Guy, Xiu haitao, a big build Guy among my Qrrs colleagues once loaned me to pursue master degree in Nankai Univ back to 1999, gave up and left the kitchen with his baggage. when I got up to pee, I felt afraid of ghosts. I soon boot up for breakfast in canteen. the rain too beautiful to miss. God, bring me sooner my Royal China. help me stroll over the hard time in sinking PRC and its tyrant party. fetch back our leisure life style with dicos meal, and online shopping once a week or monthly. thx dad, God. secure my cyberspace assets and ease my concern of their security.

3/5/2014

dreamt exile. ^ First dreamt escape with General Chiang Kai-shek's army. Then dreamed with a German family. They live in the only tiny forest in Germany. their son tried to make friends during exile, make use of drug to feel better. his aunt, a girl, brings his parents to rescue him, forced his physical exercise in their yard. I liked the aunt in dream. after I scrabbled some of the dream and continued to sleep, I probed advantage of German. I played with the family, esp the father. Its a funny international labor day. my son expected it heartedly, for it includes movie "Captain America 2" in 3D cinema, steak lunch, visiting my dorm, and luxurious breakfast next morning in U.B.C coffee. it turned out really memorable. during the vacation I also claimed family 13th domain, riveryog.biz. its the only 8 letters domain we have. the .biz also enchants me so long. its all nice except hard finance weighted me lots. my eldest brother promised loan me ¥1000 while several days passed the tranaction didn't happen. I actually worried about draining out situation in my business. I hope I can break down barrier of debt, but it more and more shakes my confidence. God, I saw ur affirmative and uphold to it. God, dad, just let my work and life rolling like usual, smooth like deep river. God, I have lots to hope, but most in hurry is my Royal China. bring me sooner my girls, my Queens into my new family, and our children beautiful and gifted under new realm of my Empire of China, spans 1109 years follows.

24/4/2014

dreamed of being a graduate and in love with a girl Lyu. ^ in dawn dream I just after national graduate exam, and enrolled by Jilin University, an ivy league campus. my crushed girl Lyu also will study there the same year and only us 2 enrolled by the Univ. the term. my major is Cg, computer graphics and post effect, with parents, which odd in both eyes of girl Lyu and mine. my 2nd elder bro accompanied me to report in open season. he hurried me to sleep same bed in dorm with him but I felt queer & rejected. a little girl slept on a bed near me talking me while her grandma ordered her leaving. they beat each other. I tried to save the crying girl,then wake up. Girl Lyu loves me too.her major now forgot. when I met her among our classmates, I felt so sweet and so is she. in the end of dream, we got to know the campus is not in down town but quite rural. God, this month salary arrived lately, 200 more than March's. thx for the gift. we still in debt of ¥1000 and more. I hope I can fix it with my salary in coming seasons as summer can be busier season and brings more products ordered for the SOE, QRRS, my once and long time employer. celebrating the salary quite impressive. I bought my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, Hope of China, God of Universe, toast duck as planned, we enjoyed it so much. next day I bought him persimmons after knew he missing it. handing in subscription for boarding and fruits went also quite smooth. sometimes only experienced hard time before you know normal life and its costs so important to be sustained. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China, my Queens, Asoh Yukiko, girl Lyu, girl Zhou, girl TW. thx for this blessing morning enacted me before 6am. thx for life comes so peaceful.
From 2014 admires
From 2014 admires
From 2014 admires
From 2014 admires