Tuesday, November 18, 2014

morning star on my brother.


dreamt of kid brother in growing up.^ these weeks somewhat busy. my son got cold again but hopefully not too severe. I treated him dicos dinner when I visited him on Saturday. reviewing my time with my son, woz, Hope of China, God of Universe, always full of joy and grace. this dawn I woke up early, in the quilt my kid brother recently bought me online. then it turned a sleepy morning. I dreamt returning our hometown village, Zhudajiu, with our mom, my kid brother. my brother made some living himself, but not enough in my view. he was eager to prove him self-relying. we passed a house whose owner was long time Communist party's cadre and managed collective assets of the village, say barn, dam,etc decades. his elder son was first graduate among offspring of Zhudajiu, but not same as prestigious as my university, Nankai Univ. I was the second graduate in the village. the cadre's 2nd and last son unable to campus, living partially under his brother's help. his elder brother majored computer, he setup a business selling computer in the town, mean but domineer. he wanted, in the dream, to employ my kid brother to sell dates for him. I didn't feel fit for my brother's new job and attempted to persuade him rebuff it. but my kid brother in bitter his futile inherits and disobedient. he tattooed a colorful date on his arm and training physically all time for coming tasks. he lives hard and needs positive support from his kins but I as his dearest brother didn't offer. my mother and I felt sorry for his silent complaints. my grand father put most cherished education in me and turned old. so my kid brother sometimes inquiries my coach on life. now he ran himself a small business in southern China. he knew I still put too many burdens, bigger anticipation on his shoulders. he don't want to disappoint me but his environment is harsh, in the failing PRC survives sins. God, dad, this wonderful morning I saw our family bond. feel free to enlighten my subconsciousness. dad, coming weekends my son will reunite me in happy time, rid me anxious upon budget. enrich my credit card life in an booming entrepreneur's role.bring me sooner my Royal China to lead the eastern Asia, to settle Japanese new habitat, for love and brotherhood on promised new land northern and saintly sealed. thx, dad Heavenly.


dreamt of being hacker. ^ dreamt in a hacker team including 2 youth and a woman core hacker. we in a road rush after corporate intelligence property protection lawyers. we, esp the woman, being almost cracked the only core universal license protected dll file, with which all property softwares will unlocked and free. confronted with threats we in end of the road likely finally withdrawn, from been captured or prison. those days sinking PRC busy hard to extinguish news and press in the tyrant country. 163.com's microblog, I heavily relied news source, after recent many times intervened, finally broke down. there is no authentic news source in China nowadays, now media also goes scattered. endless and boundless darkness prevails the nation as a freak outcome Russian Red Revolution, in its short evil life. the only monopoly social network within, qq.com, long time partner of throughout surveillance of PRC official, soon will shut down its web version of im, forced anyone refuses its espionage client software, offline. God's world gathering silent power to overturn the dark iron curtain casted over pestered land including China mainland. its a generation of praying for salvage, craving for seasonal wind to bring rains for thirsty, for cultivating. last weekend my son invited me join video game, heavy fire:shattered spear, and we crashed through last mission. his mom tentatively left him with me till 6pm, while I usually return dorm for 5pm supper. after returned she pompously ordered me and my son. a cheating person like that let me sad, sad for my son needs wits to judge the fake and fraud. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China to shield my children, bring rains and soils to grow foundation of larger vision of unified brave new world of democratic and Christian, of peace and just. thx, dad, God.


dreamt of Cortana. ^ yesterday I visited my son in dusk to sent him new xbox gamepad we ordered online, after 2 gamepads and will more players in local co-op game mood. I treated my son dicos dinner to celebrate hard waiting of the gear, which delivered 2 days later than Amazon China's precast. I told my son anxiousness upon the dining out during hard economy, after recent 2 new domains' purchase aided by my relatives who yet not in 100 precent sure. I waited more than an hour before my son finished his homeworks under his mom's custody and picked our new gamepad. he tried borderland 2 and concluded perfect user experience with the new gamepad. then we watched episode, the Simpsons, together. I held my son in arms for warmth. the night the moon is full and cloudy. the last bus satisfied me very much, as I anticipated willful. in dorm, I watched American TV series, broken sisters and refreshed. too much talks about sex puzzled me, why nowadays people in US like talking more than actual do sexually. in dawn I dreamt using Cortana, Microsoft's virtual voice commander. I dreamt rape, abuse against her, the intelligent robot. Its a sunny morning. God, dad, today I will receive my credit card bills. help me cope deficit in my life with so many joys. so many bliss assured my faith of holy grace. God, allow me follow ur guide tighter and dauntless. bring me sooner my Royal China to cater my children's need, to be complete in a family, in Royal China. thx, dad.


2nd snow. ^ this week extremely busy. I booted up guts and claimed 2 last domains I planned in 2 months. now I almost settled them open for visitors interested in my world view. they r agarten.in for my wife, dabbog.com for my first cyberspace id with google back to 2002 or so far.financial hardness hindered me and put me in preparing them for months, risking stealth stock purchase before my reach for bargain, so after bought it from godaddy and google domains each, its prompt to publish them. all works r familiar for me but still days in the week I bound in computer chair for more than 10 hours to nail bugs down and polish sites up. during the period I totally muted from my son, after China surveillance likely hacked my mobile and let some daily tools on it, like social communication, agenda, unstable. now its Saturday, in dusk I will go over to see my most beloved son, woz. in dawn dreamt my son first found a python attacked me on my neck. its so terrifying that I woke up immediate. then dreamt playing video games with son and other family members. I found I can trained game character via voice commands. so I excitingly busy with voice commanding a game likely "Chicken Little", put my son also trying to cling to it aside. after I got up, a blessing white world outside affirms good day today. I have the cause to blog for the bitterness before family 16th and 17th domains determined while pending to join us. God, all tasks upon public action u promised me done, and I indebted and in debt of new nearly ¥5000 to write off. ensure granted loan comes in time, dad, and bless my adventures future. bring me sooner my Royal China, in a way positive. inspire me in new decades for the emerging Empire of China under my title to plow deep in global mind. thx dad God, in this first morning silent of November 2014.

Photo Description: QRRS 4th dorm under construction: near winter building postponed, left crane and materials in bare stand lofty under clear sky.
Photo Description: snowing street when benzrad went for his lunch in a small restaurant. thx God, this winter likely a warmer one.

Monday, October 27, 2014

shoot budding life in winter 2014 still warm.


2014's first winter snow.^ yesterday my son, woz, Hope of China, God of Universe, visited my dorm and harbored a night here, where drizzled in dusk and snowed shallowly in mid night. with improved salary, ¥1700 in Oct, 2014, and a soon bonus ¥300, from QRRS, I felt surer when my son again needs a 3rd Xbox gamepad to compete 2 other persons in video game, family guy, to satisfy it by ordered in amazon China online at once. his uncle there to play the game with him and likely impressed by the expedition. near dusk I fetched my son to dine out with grouponed mutton hotpot near my dorm. my son enjoyed the dinner even I personally felt the service a bit deteriorated. when we arrived the dorm, my kid brother's gift for me, a luxurious full body length coat awaiting us to sign on. the night my son constrained by watching online animations while I busy with updating video games on his pad in countless inter-broken. adverse environment in the dorm under PRC surveillance kept my data transportation futile, till 10:30pm I quit with what done. the bed too small for me and my son now a teenager grows every night. in the night before we fell into sleep snowing didn't notice us. next day we stayed till noon then headed out for a Japanese cuisine lunch. his mom more and more frustrated by our memorable reunion and tried hard to intervene, trifle cause finding to refute my companion which in my son's favor, to my son. after shower in spa, my son asked riding me on way back. in video game he failed twice and teared after my annoying failing advices and uneases. he suffered so much in my turbulent financial situation. last night I dreamed encouraged my 3rd sister, who quit since elemental school to allow my old family support my education, to learn. with a stick I found lost my job after quarreled with a teacher in academy. this dawn equipped with new quilt my kid brother bought me online, I dreamt first I worked as finance reporter with another competing guy. then under punishment I lost my job and started my own media enterprise. God, I saw glory of gifted. I saw compelling peace among anxiousness upon concerns. grant me 2 new domain I need last. promised me new merry year end and lunar Spring Festival. even indebted I see hope of prosperous. narrow barrier and allow my through. bring me sooner my Royal China, my crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, hotly anticipated as our son, woz, into my new life stream and new stage of domineer.


dreamt of silence.^ first dreamt as a France-German girl graduate. her life under her tribe, including surveillance of community. then dreamt with a young family in southwestern China. we have to pass through a cable bridge in mountainous area. a man from minority helps us. he cut off our armpit hair with scissor, including our infant, before launch to slide. yesterday warming system in QRRS restored, after chill late Autumn. so good the welfare of modernity. my credit card deficit mounted to ¥6000, I tried to borrow my senior middle school alumni but failed twice. but my confidence upon my liability/reliability gradually grows, esp after had my sisters and brother conversation and concern. the CCb bank also notified me via sms that I can utilize installment loan within my improved credit from 12000 to 17000 CNY. so I tried and promptly got result, ¥10000 cash with 0.75% interest in a year instalment. that means I had to pay back the bank 909 monthly in a year.God, I felt spoilt in the gift facilitates my expanding business, esp recent domains purchase. dad, God, this months I crying for owning namespace I concocted years ago for my wife. ensure me cling to it without interrupt, uneven prosperous and slumpy. bring me more freedom financially. next week I will pay back 2 credit cards, grant me smooth operation and peacefully settlement. grant us happy time in monthly reunion for noble life. bring me sooner my Royal China, my girl Lyu, Asoh Yukiko, girl Zhou, girl Taiwan, in a way complete and fruitful. thx dad.


dreamed of visiting Asoh Yukiko and her family. ^ in dawn dream, I still quarreled with my son's mom, a little freaky woman trying hard to gain from her old marriage. then passing some wall or tunnel or dividing line, we got my 2nd wife, my Crowned Queen of Royal China from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, visiting me. her parents, her brother, escorted her. on a passage in an academic hall, Yukiko's mother cordially talked to me. its my first time so deeply impressed by the brilliance of my mother-in-law. later I again troubled by coming dispute against the cheap woman in my 1st marriage upon routine agenda with my son and our shower together, on which she bargains for gains or revenges. this PRC's national holiday to end today. I reunited my son for 2 days together, for scarce of entertainment places in Qiqihar nor supportive budget, our only joy still dining out and movie. in my dorm for 2 nights, I cared my son and let him comfortable. he asked me to update android games on his pad and immersed in them.my finance difficulty still a sting but I more focus it more turned tolerant, since this month I had to pay bank issues me a credit card near 100 CNY monthly. I hope that don't break my backbone like last straw. God, I put faith in my vocation her, put essence in my work online & offline so far. help me afford my life and my family, ie. my son's. grant us salvation in the other door through this dark room. thx, dad God, bless me sooner my Royal China, esp my Crowned Queen, Asoh Yukiko, and our son, my 2nd son, inherits Japanese merits, from saint and prescribed.


raining night dreams. ^dreamt worked with Taiwanese director, learning from Japanese movies, esp. high refresh rate of screen scanline, larger than 60 Hz. this likely from an American TV series, in which alien invisible to human eyes, but shown trail with higher scanning rate, called algorithm 5th. later dreamt building under water bomb. last dusk I accompanied my son with his swim lesson. drizzle made my farewell loomingly. I told my son my financial problem, my choice to abide my vocation in my Royal China.Its a beautiful night after all, both of us shoes sucked by ground water. we ate dicos chicken on way back. his mom tentatively arranged me leave in advance, but I felt a normal goodbye to my son finishes the day, so I waited in the building corridor till reunited my son, and saw they packed in a van, with a young man and a mid aged man previously seated. the woman likely stepped into her new marriage. this morning I got up lately, near 10am. God lets me holding. coming years might harsh for me, with current shabby salary I had to starve. God, dad, u never let me insufficient. God, bring me sooner through the adversity my enemies setup. share my golden time with my son in this fertile soil in northeastern China, new hope of my Empire of China.dad, Asoh Yukiko, my crowned Queen from Japan, see our situation and mighty ur tools to break barrier of our Royal China, to ensure our landing softly on the new promised land. dad, God, praying witnesses the morning sunshine.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

shy over sucking job.


dreamt of my dad.^ dreamt in dawn in a summit I raised a question with audience that if philosophy occurs than any other science. then dreamt my passed dad, God in Heaven now, on a horse on meadow. he then with a rod tamed a tiger or any cat in front of crowd, including me. Its a sunny morning but my heart full of unease. this month my salary continues to decrease, to 1417, while my basic life support needs ¥2100. God, even I felt boring sometimes in days the web didn't produce much free content, but I barely prepared for a second job to make ends met ahead. it took 2 days before I felt the urgency to fill the gap. last dusk I accompanied my son his swim lesson as his mom entrusted, I roamed in the other city of Qiqihar, in the municipal sports stadium, I considered possibility to find another job.several years ago the problem of relocating presented itself in front of me. I failed mostly because of unable to support interview and its travel cost. then I chose to return to QRRS, who graciously received me but without official job nor tasks. God, now I have 2 mouths to feed while my best job is cultivating my brand online, for emerging Royal China. God, help me out of the losing scene of balanced life. bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain my interest and workload. God, blessing me ahead changing.


dreamt of political experiment in campus. ^ dreamt in campus with master degree candidates to live in fundamental native condition, camping, hunting, collecting, fire-making, cooking, neighbor with wolves lair. later dreamt on my base meeting Deng xiaoping, the last prominent CCP politician, or Emperor of Qing dynasty, with his army. he visited my experiment and praised my research progress, and vision foresight. last dusk brings joys in my heart. son's mom, a bitch, tentatively turned off my call when I asked to reunite my son after his school, near 4pm. I know she want to upset me and revenge. I prayed & waited till her school over. then I brought my son to dine out as usual. previously my son liked to eat California beef noodle, a fake American brand likely by Chinese overseas graduate, so called Haigui or sea tortoise group. but the cash woman too mean and contemptuous, after several tries to tolerate the bitch and her incompetence being an employee. this time a real Taiwan brand, Dico's, offers grouponing in the same price of California beef noodle recently. we enjoyed it so much, except waited too long before my groupon been handled by the manager. main reason is the restaurant just opening and groupon service yet streamlined. I affirmed by holy to prepare a budget ¥100 to go shopping in nearby Rt-mart, also Taiwan retail brand, after dinner. but my son watching 3d blockbuster while eating hamburger there, delayed to near 7:30 pm to finish. I didn't hurry up him. when I suggested him haunting Rt-mart after dinner, he rebuffed it. we took taxi home where his mom yet returned but soon did. when my son settled watching his favorite animations online, I bid goodbye to my son and returned to my dorm. u can call the day smart, but in my view it took hard brewing, planning, waiting before the fruits. God, dad, pay day of my credit card approaching, break barrier of debt and live us free heart.bring me sooner my Royal China to my life still energetic.bring sooner google, facebook, twitter service into PRC, the dying out of sound and fury land. grant me future of vision, simple of understanding state logic. thx, dad God.


dreamt of driving license test. ^ dreamt crazily obsessed with driving test. son's mom busy with her step father's funeral, left me attending my son. I bought other resources to cope the exam. yesterday dawn dream I had my party. 2 of my once colleagues were invited. I occasionally found 2 men look like me and can be used as my stand-ins on open stage.then I made a formal declaration about historic Jun 4 collegians campaign, from CCP's defame to its due glory and contribution modernizing China's democracy. son's mom's stepfather, a bankrupted man who bankrupted the state owned company under his administrative, died before last weekend. my son was temporally attended by her neighbor in the night. when I waiting to reunite my son Friday afternoon, the neighbor grandma informed me and her grandson invited us to dine out dico's. I paid the bill, cost ¥162, to treat the young family's 3 members, and my son and myself. Saturday morning I accompanied my son made progress in video games alone in his mom's house, till late afternoon she and her mother went through the funeral of the man whose dirty money facilitated them much, and returned. I had to endure starve for canteen, with which I monthly subscribe boarding, out of service and my purse too thin to support me dine out during the lunar Mid-Autumn holiday. God, dad, these weekends so brilliantly sunny, hope u see me through my financial barriers. bring me sooner my Royal China to grace of rebirth of Chinese in its history, to allow my fruitful works booting up new generations of republic of China, and Empire of China presets. thx dad, God.


dreamt lingering in campus. ^ dreamt discussed thesis with alumnus Chen Xinjian,etc. then picked a young teacher's bike & ride his little daughter in campus, when lots of alumni approaching for lesson, including our female mentor,Yang Kexin. at first sight I surprised by the bike saddle how small but soon got used. I left my coat somewhere and concerning fetching back. last week I seldom sit down routinely, for my son got heat and cough again. I accompanied him visiting hospital for treatment for 6-7 days, picking him by taxi he liked. one of his doctor said after my visits he turns energetic again. the girl doctor also claimed my son so sick that it takes more than 10 days to recover, but in fact my son recovered within a week since my attending. in the week, I had to ask my 3rd elder sister for financial help. my kid brother offered ¥2000 instead. my son witness the blessing and buy himself a new pair of shoes from amazon China with ¥250, dearest item I bought him. in the week I glad to meet nurses and doctors there, all of them female. I was proud what I do and who I am. but son's mother, the small woman, at a lose and cursed me frequently. in Saturday I picked my son to watch 3D movie, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. we also registered a member card with the cinema, Dadi, with aid of a bonus ¥300 from QRRS, my once and long time employer, likely for lunar Mid-Autumn Day. son's grandma stayed in her daughter's house these days, likely helped pay the medicare bill and earned a position there, while my son's mother had to sleep with my son on his bed. I always anxious about the insane family of my son's mom. I asked my son to sleep alone many times. God, dad, these days so meaningful. u brought us safe through debt barrier. dad, attending my son's steady growth and vital soul independence. now is his first day as grade 4 school boy. allow me to have all my namespace I spelled out. bring me sooner my Royal China as it budding. God, the reality nearer and clearer than never before.