Monday, October 27, 2014
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
24/9/2014dreamt of my dad.^ dreamt in dawn in a summit I raised a question with audience that if philosophy occurs than any other science. then dreamt my passed dad, God in Heaven now, on a horse on meadow. he then with a rod tamed a tiger or any cat in front of crowd, including me. Its a sunny morning but my heart full of unease. this month my salary continues to decrease, to 1417, while my basic life support needs ￥2100. God, even I felt boring sometimes in days the web didn't produce much free content, but I barely prepared for a second job to make ends met ahead. it took 2 days before I felt the urgency to fill the gap. last dusk I accompanied my son his swim lesson as his mom entrusted, I roamed in the other city of Qiqihar, in the municipal sports stadium, I considered possibility to find another job.several years ago the problem of relocating presented itself in front of me. I failed mostly because of unable to support interview and its travel cost. then I chose to return to QRRS, who graciously received me but without official job nor tasks. God, now I have 2 mouths to feed while my best job is cultivating my brand online, for emerging Royal China. God, help me out of the losing scene of balanced life. bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain my interest and workload. God, blessing me ahead changing.
13/9/2014dreamt of political experiment in campus. ^ dreamt in campus with master degree candidates to live in fundamental native condition, camping, hunting, collecting, fire-making, cooking, neighbor with wolves lair. later dreamt on my base meeting Deng xiaoping, the last prominent CCP politician, or Emperor of Qing dynasty, with his army. he visited my experiment and praised my research progress, and vision foresight. last dusk brings joys in my heart. son's mom, a bitch, tentatively turned off my call when I asked to reunite my son after his school, near 4pm. I know she want to upset me and revenge. I prayed & waited till her school over. then I brought my son to dine out as usual. previously my son liked to eat California beef noodle, a fake American brand likely by Chinese overseas graduate, so called Haigui or sea tortoise group. but the cash woman too mean and contemptuous, after several tries to tolerate the bitch and her incompetence being an employee. this time a real Taiwan brand, Dico's, offers grouponing in the same price of California beef noodle recently. we enjoyed it so much, except waited too long before my groupon been handled by the manager. main reason is the restaurant just opening and groupon service yet streamlined. I affirmed by holy to prepare a budget ￥100 to go shopping in nearby Rt-mart, also Taiwan retail brand, after dinner. but my son watching 3d blockbuster while eating hamburger there, delayed to near 7:30 pm to finish. I didn't hurry up him. when I suggested him haunting Rt-mart after dinner, he rebuffed it. we took taxi home where his mom yet returned but soon did. when my son settled watching his favorite animations online, I bid goodbye to my son and returned to my dorm. u can call the day smart, but in my view it took hard brewing, planning, waiting before the fruits. God, dad, pay day of my credit card approaching, break barrier of debt and live us free heart.bring me sooner my Royal China to my life still energetic.bring sooner google, facebook, twitter service into PRC, the dying out of sound and fury land. grant me future of vision, simple of understanding state logic. thx, dad God.
7/9/2014dreamt of driving license test. ^ dreamt crazily obsessed with driving test. son's mom busy with her step father's funeral, left me attending my son. I bought other resources to cope the exam. yesterday dawn dream I had my party. 2 of my once colleagues were invited. I occasionally found 2 men look like me and can be used as my stand-ins on open stage.then I made a formal declaration about historic Jun 4 collegians campaign, from CCP's defame to its due glory and contribution modernizing China's democracy. son's mom's stepfather, a bankrupted man who bankrupted the state owned company under his administrative, died before last weekend. my son was temporally attended by her neighbor in the night. when I waiting to reunite my son Friday afternoon, the neighbor grandma informed me and her grandson invited us to dine out dico's. I paid the bill, cost ￥162, to treat the young family's 3 members, and my son and myself. Saturday morning I accompanied my son made progress in video games alone in his mom's house, till late afternoon she and her mother went through the funeral of the man whose dirty money facilitated them much, and returned. I had to endure starve for canteen, with which I monthly subscribe boarding, out of service and my purse too thin to support me dine out during the lunar Mid-Autumn holiday. God, dad, these weekends so brilliantly sunny, hope u see me through my financial barriers. bring me sooner my Royal China to grace of rebirth of Chinese in its history, to allow my fruitful works booting up new generations of republic of China, and Empire of China presets. thx dad, God.
1/9/2014dreamt lingering in campus. ^ dreamt discussed thesis with alumnus Chen Xinjian,etc. then picked a young teacher's bike & ride his little daughter in campus, when lots of alumni approaching for lesson, including our female mentor,Yang Kexin. at first sight I surprised by the bike saddle how small but soon got used. I left my coat somewhere and concerning fetching back. last week I seldom sit down routinely, for my son got heat and cough again. I accompanied him visiting hospital for treatment for 6-7 days, picking him by taxi he liked. one of his doctor said after my visits he turns energetic again. the girl doctor also claimed my son so sick that it takes more than 10 days to recover, but in fact my son recovered within a week since my attending. in the week, I had to ask my 3rd elder sister for financial help. my kid brother offered ￥2000 instead. my son witness the blessing and buy himself a new pair of shoes from amazon China with ￥250, dearest item I bought him. in the week I glad to meet nurses and doctors there, all of them female. I was proud what I do and who I am. but son's mother, the small woman, at a lose and cursed me frequently. in Saturday I picked my son to watch 3D movie, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. we also registered a member card with the cinema, Dadi, with aid of a bonus ￥300 from QRRS, my once and long time employer, likely for lunar Mid-Autumn Day. son's grandma stayed in her daughter's house these days, likely helped pay the medicare bill and earned a position there, while my son's mother had to sleep with my son on his bed. I always anxious about the insane family of my son's mom. I asked my son to sleep alone many times. God, dad, these days so meaningful. u brought us safe through debt barrier. dad, attending my son's steady growth and vital soul independence. now is his first day as grade 4 school boy. allow me to have all my namespace I spelled out. bring me sooner my Royal China as it budding. God, the reality nearer and clearer than never before.
Posted by benzrad zhu at 9:10 AM
Monday, August 18, 2014
18/8/2014dreamt snakes wrapping ankle. ^ my son recently again got hot and cough. last weekends is our noble life's experience monthly, before salary day. we go movie, snack, Walmart shopping, dined out. for Golden Hans toast buffet out of service for months, we grouponed a meal with duck heads. my son surprised me, likes the cuisine. in Walmart I bought him a Japanese style school bag, priced ￥298. I also equipped him notebook, travel pen, knife we long time planned to replace broken one of a tool pack I won years ago after a blood donation. next morning, Sunday, he asked to replay "family guy".he immersed in it for hours. after showered with me in public spa, he continued the game. near dusk I urged him to allow me left earlier for I a bit tired after 2 day's companion. but he then napped with his feet in my arms.when his mom returned I kept silence till son woke up later. then he napped again with feet warmed by my neck. his mom cursed me for video games exhausted my son, and demanded before my son resumes health I should keep him from her house. I waited near 8pm. then I told my son I have faith he will recover soon. I asked his permission to leave. I left him with listening audio ebook for his mom banned him to watch his favorite animations online in the night. God, safeguard my son's sound life. bring me sooner my Royal China to attend my life that's perfect. resume my son's energy and his movies and games. thx dad, God. allow us to break financial blockage in coming worsen PRC's economy.
15/8/2014dreams in pale morning.^ dreamt of exam in QRRS office with once colleague and alumnus. in an office likely of my previous workplace in QRRS, my Nankai alumnus, Wujiang, who always good at exam, well prepared & occupied largest desk in the office. a woman colleague whose hometown in my neighbor province, Anhui, also exchanged words about coming exam. on the floor there r lots of cassettes of video tapes for my once job is cable TV station of a SOE. I was nervous upon the test as usual, &prepared cope it with metamorphosis. then dreamt under siege I asked my brother to allow moving my son to his guardian. my elder sister played with us near the well of Zhudajiu village, my hometown, under the dam. son played happily till napped in my arms. in last dream, my son fired a rocket and hit a target down.
9/8/2014dreamt of buying emagarten real-estate. ^ yesterday son's mom asked me to accompany son's swim lesson.I admitted. I got there earlier to play video game with son. when son entered the stadium, I walked around and skim the landscape of the summer sports base. we ate beef noodles before went home. son's mom returned later than 9pm. on bus stop an elder man quarreled with a cop. more policemen arrived with vehicle. the higher rank officer threatened arresting the man before the old man chose to flee. this morning I felt dog tired. after breakfast I had to nap again. I got up near 11pm. I dreamed I bought a piece of land near the summer game training center where we can rest on. we have house, furnitures among trees and other plants in emagarten. the promised loan by my alumnae, broke, likely police or state security agency interfered. the contact like other contacts I reached out, no answer to me since then, sinks into darkness. God, what ever a path hideous, I need ur guide & guardian. let me in faith unalienable. bring me sooner my Royal China, my offspring to my vested land prosperous. thx, dad, God, in this usual morning.
8/8/2014dreamed of grandson. ^ in nap dreamed a grandson dragged his toy boat in the house under grandpa's custody. his boat travels indeed the world, meeting storms, sailing all deferent seas. he mastered the oceans but his grandpa just wouldn't stop his anxiousness and gossips in the old house where his grandson the whole world in his command toddled with his toy boat. I in dream so dear with them, likely of my family. It's a sunshine morning, like yesterday's. but I was concerned with a loan promised by my senior middle school alumnae. last dusk with the gospel, I visited my son. he was on way to his swim lesson with his mom. I followed him and first time visited the stadium. the area is spacious and green. lots of kids playing different sports there. we dined out when son done his lesson. my son hesitated on way to training, but turned smart and talkative on way back.the day before yesterday I also fetched him to dine out, for cheering him up among sadness of loving his parents, for enduring of our poor earthy life, also for threats from local mafia and ruling tyrant of PRC behind the curtain. in his way I made right decision as the Son, the way to save the world, esp China under darker rein of ruthless and lawless nowadays, out of unexceptional. this week I also reckoning claim a domain for my Queens, emagarten. I concocted it years ago for my son's mom's career, English teaching. now I felt kindergarten and garden surely my haunting interest. I want to hold it from dissolving for my future family, my children coming soon. God, ur affirmative brings actions. pl allow me progress after fears and burning restlessness of hoping. makes my world better with advance. grant me moving among debts and shorts.
31/7/2014dreamt son who's in vacation. ^ dreamt we met amid but we pretended we don't meet and continued to walk away, against surveillance.we were in a community bathroom, say campus. workers fixing tubes on 2nd floor. I managed finished my shower in spa before hot water ran out. when I left the spa I told coming guy the maintenance. my son in his summer vacation tour, brought by his mom and her mother for a week in seashore Qinghuangdao. this week my works here in QRRS dorms markable fruitful. I restored my chormebook after misconfigured chrome os and turned unstable, under harshest blocking google service in tyrant PRC, sinking dreadful son of bitch fatherless. I also final spanned family new domain, 2idc.info, with more booming sites, like vimeo,blogger,tumblr,lofter,twitter,etc branding aggregation. God shows me benefits of maintains low profile while engaged always in errands to help the world of vanity fare as well as shared economy. I saw clear my way to self-efface & self-efficient in voice of Holy while among dusts. the dorm garden left 3 chairs, I recently enjoyed resting on the bench after dinner and jog. but many envious poor souls meant to challenge my sphere. a walker with a hippo neck in my daily dusk jog road also tried hard to disgust me. that in the week frequently reminds the invisible but everywhere source of authority. God, dad, u r so invincible! let me enjoy ur world freely and hearted. the glory of Son unfolding in my eyes, dad God, through scenes and events around me prescribed, like echoes of praises under Heaven. God, bring me sooner my Royal China with my Queens, with our children coming big and innocent. thx dad.
photo description: monthly noble life's treat: cinema, snack,Walmart,dining out,harbor in my dorm. son, warrenzh, got cough yesterday but we still found funs in all actions. next dusk, after 2 full days' game playing, roaming outside as his mom forced, he fell into sleep when I, his proud dad, gossiped world politics. till 8pm, his dad left after attending his 2 naps. his mom blamed me as usual for my son's liking staying with his dad. here we rested near Dadi Digital cinema before we headed to next tour, Walmart. we ate some sweets from Taiwan franchise.
Posted by benzrad zhu at 8:34 AM