Monday, February 02, 2015
2/2/2015dreamt of deal among Chinese minorities.:: yesterday was brilliant all daytime. I recovered from sudden ailment and visited my son, woz, Hope of China, God of Universe, on time and completed what I usually schedule to find fun, a shooting video game, Enemy Front, ie a checkpoint saved. China surveillance desperately blocked my son's android pad to update game content from google play market, but 2 ways I envisioned to bypass GFW filter working, in minutes I saw homepage of google play market, even downloading launched. but targeted intervention so resolvedly that no stable connection lasted minutes. I finally gave up, as God allows. I had lots of happy time in the Sunday among activities with my son, including gaming, showering, lunching, walking outside, eating fruits weekly subscribed, and pine nuts recent bought online. I apparently easier to lose interests and fall into doze, sign of aging. returned to QRRS Dorm, I enjoy neat workspace after cleansed 2 os. this dawn I dreamt making deal with 4 or 5 minorities in China, say, Yi, Miao, Uygur,Bai nationality. I bought land from those rampant, selling it to those too jammed by space, offer plenty foods to starving and balances them all in love. I saw history in dissent allies in Christian unity, in God's shine. its a lengthy dream, with real different people and my trusted ones. God, where and when PRC sinking to? the day by day harsher online surveillance and self-destruction by root out its rich medium and benevolence of western education since fall of bureaucracy, died hard more than 2000 years remained original Chinese doctrine, Confucian, faking labors & intelligents even states, with Ming Dynasty, the pinnacle of Chinese society back to 1600 C.E., led to where to die? is war them, the tyrant last resort and fool's errand? dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China, cover my family with due nutrition of freedom of idea. bring world democracy sooner into death locked PRC, the fatherless bastard of Russian Red Oct. Dad, God, pl allow us google service, and all those innovative cyberspace like facebook, twitter, etc.
30/1/2015dreamt of printing. :: yesterday I decided washout 2 os against accumulated online threats. it done perfect excepted my chrome os hardly stably connected google servers to update my synced profile. might the task too draining, after dinner I felt dizzy, vomiting. I tried to drink some beer to fix the feeling, and watched my favorite Japanese TV series in the night. but still I felt cold and sick. waited bed time, I had no problem to sleep. dreamt with my Nankai alumnus, Chenxj. I printed many copies of my works or plan for my darling, or my son, each only containing a section of the full plan or blog. the sleep deep and curing. after got up I shit diarrheal. managed ate some porridge, my chromebook finally login my account, even problematically. its a brilliant bright morning. God, dad, when the sinking PRC stop hating smart people and ideas? when freedom of society and respect of individuals maintained as norm? dad, God, I now equipped with vpn and surfing no bordering, but I was left likes on a sinking tip island. God, save sinful PRC from its tyrant party, bring sooner world democracy into the old scarred land.
23/1/2015our first google play purchase. :: in dawn dreamt I was assigned to patrol along the signified place, like the great wall or Tian'anmen Square, with someone dear, say my son. there r crowd gathering on site, including my once department director who broke my normal civil career perspective in QRRS cable TV branch. my haunting concern is to automate the patrol and relief me from the route. in last dusk my youngest elder sister called to ensure I am in sound state. her husband talked to me in the mid and turned out hostile to my lucky life. he urged me to fish from national medicare system to save money for improve my life shortly while I let him shut up his foolish and selfish propagation. new credit card issuer, ICBC, also contacted my previous department director for credit auditory. I hope it smooth and gain the card sooner. but that didn't stop us from enjoy new freedom new vpn brings out. when my son asked for pay in his pad games from google play market, even I had explained him we'd better wait till new ICBC credit card to power our pay method, I tried the 3rd way to pay, gift card, as quick response. there r lots of vendors on taobao.com, Chinese largest e-commercial site emerging in 15 years from nothing, I easily bought $20 at price of ￥109 to charge my son's google account. I intended to surprise my son, so I persistently persuade him to use it to buy. his evil mom took him away twice in the good day, noon for table tennis, dusk to swim, from our online collaboration. the main problem is paying require password verifying, while my son didn't keep a copy of it. I never want to risk stolen and sent him password in cyberspace, given China surveillance so harsh. so lots of time cost teaching my son decrypt password I sent him in im. China espionage broke his Internet many time, let lagging loading page. so many failures frustrated me and I started to scorn and curse my son who seems so naive against blocking. my son finally gave up. that's near 9pm when usually he go to bed. after cleaning myself, I booted up and buzzed my son, yelling him to buy online before sleeping. and he didn't hurt much from my scorns. after I tried buy a bible educational game in his account, he on other side of the Internet did his own purchase independently, his first google payment. all to call the day a nice day. just after affirmed the success, my Internet within the dorm LAN was forced offline. there must be someone losing in the mid or on the wall. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China, my girls to new barn where lovely memories echoes. grant us a new credit card and smooth google service at hand, like all other merits shares American people. do please let us learn and grow, in ur shines, peaces and plenty.
17/1/2015heated waiting for new credit card.:: powered by powerful vpn,ssledge, I now enjoy most web like in democracy world. God answers my pray by allowing me glimpse freedom alike in dreamland, United State. to finish equipping my son his online payment,esp google play store access, I decided applying ICBC for a credit card. the bank previously sms me I entitled to apply its credit card basing my sound financial credit, but I didn't reply for I reckoned 2 credit cards enough for me. visiting the bank where most clients on site are elders, the sms reportedly no record on server and I had to apply it normally, requires salary spreadsheet, workplace id card, etc. returned to dorm I felt chill in the bank business and later heat and cold interwoven made my nose stuffed. this dawn I anxious in dream about my breath while nose stuffed. then worried my lunch cook's dry throat, which led him constantly cough, infects me. then dream met with a once colleague, Zhanhe, in Chinese means war river, of QRRS, my once and long time employer, talking about security fault in enterprise computer network, for the guy works in its networks department. we swam a dam and arrived the HQ aside the stream, saw many of his busy workmates. then my passed mother appeared in my dream, as well as my eldest brother now in hometown village. they likely help me building a 3 phrases security installment for my son's play. my son in dream accompanied me and waited his toy I prepared him. last night my sinful 2nd elder sister buzzed in, told me my kid brother intended to loan me ￥5000 in lunar year end and she will join 1000. God, dad, grant me 3rd credit card and usage of appstore at my son's disposal. empower me break debt barrier in new year 2015. dad, my life improved so much here everyone witnesses. envision me new landscape for even better. thx dad.
Posted by benzrad zhu at 8:38 AM
Saturday, January 10, 2015
10/1/2015enjoy free web.:: these days just settled vpn and surf in boundless. I intended to prepare my son his now payment online tool, enrich his vision of cyberscape. but paypal doesn't allow he using my bank account, insists card/bank account owner must identical with its account. that failed so many tries, led me searching out the web for several days. later I realized my son unable to be facilitated on web his own financial tools before he grows up. so I finally resorted to ask my kid brother to deposit some cash in my son's paypal from his business account's balance. he helped me near 10pm. in gratitude I talked about my view upon my debt burden and workout, future social prosperous an innovative infrastructure any non-tyrant nor cheating government responsible to bring out. this dawn I dreamt joined army, escorted to visit military base in Tibet. in a deep cave I with soldiers have to bent & twist body to enter the dangerously narrow maze. that soon shocks me in claustrophobia and woke up. Its near 6am. after I finished relinking family youtube channel with google+ vanity name, I notice 2nd disabled assets with google: my gotrus google sites disabled, beside yesterday its blog locked down for spam. I never intend spam at my blog which so dear to me. God know what's the problem with my google space in buffeting. God, dad, I saw so many prayed comes true. grant me peace on my cyberspace periphery. bring me sooner my shop to glow and grow. bring me sooner my Royal China in testimony. thx, dad, in this afternoon soon I will reunite my son.
7/1/2015dreamt of passionate sex.::these 2 days researched alternative vpn solution against sinking PRC's surveillance. my first vpn experience is with linost. but my chromebook can't access and I filed a question of my problem but loosely answered by its careless support team. so I envisioned behind the curtain there is state intelligent agency's intervention. I want keep budget tight,too, for my most usage just browsing web and online assets' confidential operation. then I found ssledge solution, which likely Chinese security product. I want overseas vpn but uncertain if their service stable dominated by GFW, the world largest local Interent, a jungle of tyrant's prey. equipped with supportive salary recent, I purchased the ssledge rapid minutes before dinner. after roamed in chill, I leisurely research the loot in armchair. its so simple to configure, so portable to adopt encrypted traffic any device. on bed I got idea to allow my son's pad connected to official android market, lest my sweaty effects to download pirate games which mostly can't run or risk of virus positive. in dawn dream I dreamt my passionate sex with my fiancee, watched in a tiny condensed space like dorm. the neighbor woman, likely my senior middle school alumnus now in Wuhan and lives rich, commented on my private life with my girl. then I found drifting away from my girl in dream. later I missing my fiancee and sought out everywhere in the miserable dream. God,dad, where is my safe house under espionage? grant me an adequate space for my job if its meaningful. bring me sooner my Royal China to site new century of our influence. thx, dad, I saw my life in constant improving. let my girls join me timely.
2/1/2015dreamed of reconnecting my unseen son. ::in dawn dream I visited my once girlfriend in Nankai campus. her parents attempted blocking me lest my hurting their daughter again. I wrote novel or something on street and constantly contacted our classmates and her family and finally I saw our son with the girl. her husband, a Wang, accompanied us. I giggled my son lots of trifles and my son is so smart, esp. emotionally, and immersed in the happy gathering. his mom follows closely with her husband. its our first time meeting since graduate, for our son since his birth I was not informed, but my son never hesitates to acquaint me, his missing dad. the once girl, a Liu, now lives in Hongkong. likely terrified by my eyes inflammation pestered me life long since my mom infected me in a visit in my senior middle school, she overused medicine and damaged her lens. now she said almost blind. yesterday my son ported a night in my dorm. for not foreign movies available, we postponed twice the bimonthly event till last morning we watched "Khumba". my son so satisfied that he didn't want to shopping in Walmart as scheduled next anymore. I managed to hold him to the supermarket and bought him nuts as I long time planned. he constantly unease upon her mother's jealousies and fury of been forgot on way home. however, God saves us by let a neighbor girl student joined for tutoring in time, for that's the most motivational thing his mom buys anytime. I fed my son with salted yellow croakers, honey coated walnuts, pistachios and beef jerky we just bought when he played game on his pad. later his mom again pretendedly domineered, let son go to skate while my son loathed. so I suggested fetching my son roaming outside. I carried him some distance, then he walked. we gabbled about video game we just played a lot. returned to dorm, I did some cleaning and read news delayed. that's our happy new year holiday. God, dad, recently I got another bonus, ￥1200 from QRRS, my once and long time employer, but debt gap and living expense sometimes makes me even disowned. grant us safe in new year when I have instalment loan to pay on my own poor salary, near ￥1000 monthly. bring me sooner my Crowned Queen, Asoh Yukiko, from Japan, and my girl Lyu, girl Zhou, girl TW, into my life. allow me give birth my other children holy blesses. warrant promised land for 2 related nations beyond a narrow strait. in the affirmative 2015, I see fondness far beyond.
27/12/2015dreamt of joblessness. ::dawn dream brought me into Nankai Univ again. I was told by classmate usual student graduate in third year in campus, left another year in college to prepare enter society. for my academy stained by cheating in test, I unable to graduate normally. then in campus I toddled everywhere to find not a single thing I was concerned. I was jobless, literally. I saw usual students exercise with their mentor, one of them is the dean, who trained his students brave by let them one by one jumping to ground from higher floor. they r engaged and not jobless. then in the nightmare I tried all means to be jobless, isolated from daily life of making living, like a ghost. yesterday I succeeded charged my google voice and localphone. my credit card failed to charge overseas several times previously, but this time I broke barrage. in the blessing night I reviewed my son's situation, unease under school burden, I knew he want join me, be part of my family business. I felt sorry for him, and resolved to accept him, no matter what is, in God's mercy and grace. I accept if he rests under my roof, God, u see how it endurable. impulse drove me near 7pm over to his community where I ate western Chinese noodle from a restaurant operated by a young couple from northwestern China, even I have eaten my dinner in dorm canteen. the wife looks like a Uighur, whose beauty inspired me deeply. I guess their business in stalemate and I daringly hope they safe in sloppy economy. for too late for bus, I didn't visit my son, but just after settled in dorm, I saw him online, first time in the week when his elemental school exam worsen & upset him doubled by his mom's scorns. that's a good day starts. God, with this month exceptional salary, I was greatly cheers up, but not my son, to whom I didn't gift. I recognized the problem just after I returned to dorm from dispatching my support my son's living. then next day another huge bonus, ￥1500, arrived. with which I gifted my son 500 RMB. he didn't too much motivate by it but I know its right. God, ur affirmative implants hope in me, through so many turbulence. grant me a constant VPN connection, bring me sooner my Royal China to seed other children of mine this earth. ensured me of grace and thanks holy. in this sunny morning I make sense of blogging.
Posted by benzrad zhu at 3:51 PM