Monday, April 20, 2015

God could know the saddening.

20/4/2015

a strange hometown dream.:: in the dream I saw a pal, whose mother is a dumb and died early when he in teenager. the pal just broke his marriage and his wife was invited by my 2nd elder brother to dine together and discuss saving the marriage, for my old family is the leading family on genealogy tree in the village, as my elder brother told me in dream. the wife found was the daughter of another guy just near the pal's house. the guy has a female name, 4th sister ( Simei in Chinese). I also ate dinner among the family. I discussed philosophy with the sorry wife, who is a bishop in local church. she didn't has a accurate interest in the bible, and soon left after the dinner. the night I slept deep. the day before it, my son, woz, visited my dorm and ported a night here in bimonthly noble life experience, including cinema, Walmart shopping, dining elegantly out. we watched an English comedy, "Mortdecai", we both enlightened. my son anxious about my comment after I commented so many times upon things around us. next day I tried to install EA's origin game platform on his dell win7 and his favorite game, PVP:Garden War, from our recent purchased humblebundle, but unfortunately download broken, likely due to PRC's surveillance. my son complained too much time cost on the failed operation while gaming time insufficient. lunch before weekly shower I picked a new snack booth which cheaper than usual. then it turned out a huge mistake. the food is less satisfying, and we left rush and mistakenly left woz's cap and shower bag there. when I found my son lost his shower bag, which recently bought online costs ¥80, I scorned him sincerely. he likely felt I would care his bag while I took granted its his job. we walked near 3 bus stop returning to the cheap restaurant. luckily our bag saved by the owner and it returned to us. in shower I felt sorry for too many scorns and I helped my son shampoo his hairs and back body. I also bought him cola when a neighbor kid drank from his bottled water. we spent medium on fruits, but strongly recommended early melon to my son. he took my advise and enjoys the fresh and juicy fruit. his mom soon fetched him outside for sports, I stayed alone till they returned more than 1 hour later, just roamed and reviewed. his mom, a bitch, found I there started to curse again. I fed my son 3 slices of oranges then I left. Its a sad weekend, when I went to bed before sleep, review what I told my son events he even didn't remember when we fought for living before I last time lived with my mother after left him with his consent in his 2 years old among adversity. dad, God, u know all these memories. bring me sooner my Royal China to let the family history flow evergreen. grant us free of debt in coming years when we broaden our business here promotion democracy in China, the old glorious land scarred under PRC since the fall of Ming dynasty under my family title. thx, dad, this sleeping morning I survive.

16/4/2015

GCE powered sites of zhone almost settled.::these days a bit busy. with aid of powerful google and handy web documents, I almost hammered 3 dynamic sites down on google cloud platform. they r zho.io, agarten.in, and bbs.zhuson.com. the latter is my long time promise for my hometown folks in village Zhudajiu where more and more families got wired nowadays but without cyberspace community. once prepared QRRS, my once and long time employer, its trial dynamic site, I gained some expertise on php. so setup php web apps not a pain for me, but setup web server on linux is fresh new for me. I intensified search the web for help on ssh,ssl and it didn't fail me. I had several night worked lately till 3am to quit. mid night usually productive. I also recently refined the 3 dynamic sites theme customization, header, footer, zhone's 18 affiliate domains link bundle, etc. sensible progress everyday steadily let me glad, even I know it would last all my life, for I need time to dwell destiny. the gay in dorm still barking all around me, but its echoes seemingly farer and farer. my son, woz, frequents several games and loathed to try new ones, so I was free to hunt and adopt him new adventures. yesterday I read EA release humblebundle 2 which includes "Plants vs Zombies: Garden War", my son's favorite but unable to try, I immediately ordered it. it will be our first online pc game. so nice! in the week I also equipped my dorm life a boiler cup, for dorm's shared boiler setup highest temperature 80℃, according the engineer's reply to my innocent complain, lest risk of blow fuse,foolish reason like himself. so, so many years I all drank water not even boiled. my new boiler economic for me, ¥45, and heating can improve room against its coldness due incomplete seal of window frame. and best cause, boiled water allow me enjoy better teas. God, my life always expects my new Empire of China last 1109 years ahead. this dawn dreamt I with my son in Tian'anmen Square. bring me sooner my Royal China in time my prime. grant me debt free in coming months till payment of 18 domains cleared. thx dad, God, in this silent morning.

9/4/2015

dreamed of academy. ::these days preparing web apps brought heaviest hacking from China surveillance exhausted me. according online documents they should be working well but problematic in my cases, even local tests fine but on server side they broke, either scripts or database. when I reached a plan to rent a cloud service like amazon AWS or google cloud platform, PRC government backed hacking desperately intervened: they hijacked my chromebook's touchpad and messed the chrome os;they censored every web page I attempted to access and blocked or let page loading lagged.this dawn I was in campus again, with philosophy professors. in dream my main topic is every theory would expanding its scope by extending along opposing direction, which increases contrast forces' battle in observation, like any living creature. only changing reality in time's phrase alters the theory's focus and fade its concerns. its likely just a new school term after vacation. professors encouraged me to elaborate my thesis. some classmates, strangely none of my classmates actually, talked to me, one of them told me brutal conflicts in his hometown nowadays common scenes between abused state power and helpless farmers' properties. last week a late snow, lasted 2 days, an in time gift for farming, dented some photos in my camera. Chinese traditional mourning day holiday also just passed. the ugly tradition brought many foolish Chinese burning paper treasure instead of real ones in hope that will let their passed relatives in hell living well. the pollution and wastes really annoying, like Chinese government's took granted the sovereign around its people and land can be dictated by it. but bible long makes it clear, land owner, nor residents, don't holy mean they own. PRC desperate building in land Internet separates outer world, seemingly claims they own the land and population, as well as conversation on the web as their property, what a laugh! the world created by God, never any sinful man inherits. Internet and conversation online doesn't belong to dictation CCP, nor the territory and nationality, rather, they belongs to better world, the holy visionary. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China, my girls and my offspring in a closer date. let my mission here solid engaged. thx dad, in the pale morning fosters security.

1/4/2015

to deploy web app on family sites. ::these days busy with deploying php forum, cms on google cloud service under zhone domains, bbs.zhuson.com and zho.io.China surveillance broke my os several times in developing stage so far, let web as well as database server unavailable times and times, against my effects to fix its ruin. exactly these days the shameless GFW, PRC's largest scale Internet surveillance, challenged github.com by DDOS attack which now a laugh of shameless and lowness and failure of ass.the abnormal gay in dorm still tried his best to stalk me, showing more it's a plot of high order. this morning I slept sweet, dreamt a woman IT staff of my once workplace dated with me during a summit.later I got know her parents, likely earlier graduate in Mao's era and migrated to northeastern China like me. sometime the woman mingled with her little daughter in dream, both proud and smart enough. I know they both treated by their family dearly. breakfast is delicious and the morning sunshine milk alike. last weekends my son, woz, Hope of China, roamed outside in his mom's community as his mom advised after we gamed a lot on pc and android pad. woz played awhile among outdoor elders training zone aside the stadium. we made nice photos. my dorm's windows not sealed properly, I reported to dorm director but she urged I my own to fix it. the neighbor new dorm resumed building after postpone during winter. this morning hammers and crane sang noisy again in crisp air, just aside my dorm. God, dad, I'm contented with this dorm except unsure if heat system overcomes leaking windows. grant us warm winter next year. grant us debt free and zhone's domain ownership consolidated. bring me sooner my Royal China and my girls, our offspring to come. in this silent morning I have no reason not to drink bliss of holy. thx, dad.


Thursday, March 26, 2015

spring song budding.

26/3/2015

dreamt of flying.::these 2 weeks in turbulence. I moved to new apartment, in QRRS Dorm 1st. at first I thought I was chosen only for improving environment, which neat but insufficient heat let it cold. then next few days almost all the dorm 3rd residents moved here. the criminals tentatively don't flush toilet and bully again bring brutality and tensions here: frequent noises, savagery attitude in common bathroom. my neighbor room is the toilet, half built a shelter occupied by cleaner who is a fat woman and stupid peeking young men's private life for her emptiness. the facing door resides a man with bone problem which let him can't stand chest upright but cater to inflexible backbone and couch all time lest pains. he likely also enjoys alone his room, while most dorm rooms shared by 2 or 3 young workers of QRRS, but also more and more local mafias seizes berth here. my apartment windows a lovely small yard with some tall trees, but over a street there is 2 elders' gate ball playground. in the past week those aimless elders remind me what futile life looks like. the room facing northeastern, never a direct sunshine enters, except in morning half of hour some small red spots on wall aside of my bed around 7am. I had to watch sunshine outside to sense the brilliance of fine weather if I trapped by the apartment coming year. the gay, last night an American Movie remind me his dwarfism like abnormal short legs, projecting forehead, pestered me a few days, by stalking me. some days ago it even followed me alone into washing room and stared at me when I fetched hot water. I cursed in air and it stopped the beast for a day. then next day when I daily rambled after dinner it pursued me again and again next day. it tried all means to annoy me, to frustrate me. in the process I gradually had insight plots from higher order, in QRRS, in sinking tyrant of PRC. these nights I also had trouble to fall into sleep. in this dawn I dreamt flying again. its like electromagnetic skating, demands smooth breath, balanced firm while steady boost. my passed dad, God in Heaven now, smiled and encouraged me by his present noticed. I later even can carry my son to fly. we passed a 2 or 3 boys dancing band in their school. one of them tried drug for his better performance and likely addictive. its a sunny morning and I enjoyed canteen breakfast without been stalked. girls in the dorm last night shared the washing room with me when I peed for sleep, its so sweet among shits of gays.isn't it my nightmare to vanish? isn't my private life, peaceful and fruitful, commencing? dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China. bring my new family, my offspring when it matters most. grant us free debt, joy of being gifted. thx, Father.

16/3/2015

dreamt of PRC's general & diplomatic minister, Chen. :: in dawn dream saw family life of Chen Yi, general and diplomatic minister of new PRC. he and his wife on vacation tour. his son likely friend of us. a film director, Feng Xiaogang, also appeared and commented like all his famous acid remarks. the freak gay in dorm still stalked me like a ghost. this morning he suddenly sit on my next table when I ate my breakfast, and tentatively walked in front of me when I left, even I lingered quite awhile after the insane left his table.God, the dorm director promised me I will move to another dorm among QRRS 3 dorms. any other dorm environment better than current one. the director said it should done latest in July. God, dad, rid me off these abnormal persons sooner. they broke hot water tank and other common utilities in the dorm, don't flush toilet, slam doors in front me, humiliate me with gay signals for so many times. yesterday my son and I equipped first time with our own bath bag, which costs us ¥100 and stylish. we brought shampoo by them to dico's to eat lunch before showering in public spa. we had good time in the Taiwan franchise restaurant. woz's pad has more new games I prepared for his play. my son asked me to spend more time with him in Sunday and we both made proud progress in video games each. my game and gamepad skill improved a lot in these years with my son's companion, who instills confidence and meaning of better performance in simulation like games as important as big business in the traditional world. the night in dorm I didn't watch video, but just roamed. thx God, glory of Son fulfilled me with faith. dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China into my new family. bring my girls and my new offspring under beautiful day light. grant me passing through monthly credit load successfully. thx, dad.

13/3/2015

dreamt of lesbians in my old family. ::recently I quite times reviewed my old family. my mother who had tendency of lesbian and later encouraged my dad adopted his young apprentice who accompanied my dad for more than dozen years and finally tried to slight my dad lately. she wanted the gay apprentice serving my dad instead of her, who long time rendered caring my dad as boring and loathed for chores. her usual trick was turning herself sick and bed bound. but my dad seldom noticed and scorned her to resume our normal family life. my dad told me the apprentice tempted to kiss him when I buzzed him. I called the sick apprentice next day as a warn and told my dad who reached out me my action to fix. my dad almost unable to believe my helping hand, assured twice by me the call in the phone. that was months before his passing by the world he manifests so brilliant to me, his 3rd son. so many years my mother selling her cheat: she claimed the apprentice treats my dad well, sent him gift money, usual ¥50 annually without break, and I never found the fog that she wanted my dad gay, to spare her lesbian inclination. my grand dad never took it, but just let it go. he usually don't respond the gay apprentice babbles and fell into sleep soon, while the gay stayed lately in my parents' room, esp when I returned to hometown during school vacation. my mother has a sinful mind. this dawn I dreamt of my hometown again, my sister-in-law, IE. my 2nd elder brother's wife, a die hard lesbian, made our neighbor surrendered by her bitchiness. being a whore, a shameless dirty animal she drained my old family steps by steps. she also likely humiliated my first love, girl Lyu when she visited our house bravely without notification back to our senior middle school. for no spare room, she was arranged to sleep with my sister-in-law who just married my brother. my girl Lyu never returned to me after the night slept in our house. the sister-in-law even seduced her dog, which let my brother wanted to kill but it fled. these undercover events evaded me for years, but now emerging in the curse dooms my unsuccessful marital life. God, dad, in ur sunshine I baptized. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring my girl Lyu, girl Zhou, girl TW, and our robust offspring. let us pave ur road on the earth, dad, God.

10/3/2015

dreamt of house and garden.:: seemingly lots time passed during these colorful activities with my son, woz, ending lunar spring holiday including cinema, shopping Walmart, dine out. I even less work log at rememberthemilk.com, for life so wonderful when U just taking things u like, with adequate financial support. woz previously less attracted by android games, but since last Sunday the situation improved, with new games I prepared him rather than encourage him hunting in google play store on his own. my sinful 2nd elder sister 2nd time told me she will loan me ¥1000 but the bait yet at large. so many cheap souls in my circle, God! meantime the weather, esp spring sunshine fills my heart with anthem of glory, and hope of new settlement. in dawn dream I busy with decorating our house, likely with once intimate 2 girls in my life, Liu or son's mom. I again don't act arbitrarily, trapped by financial dependence or son's mom's insane orthodoxy in guise. then with my son, woz, hope of China, God of universe, we gardening in our yard. my son enjoys the grass, bees, while I busy digging coins from soil where neat and solid. there is another kid unknown there. after breakfast in canteen, I reckon time to allow these golden memories harvests in my cyberspace. God, dad, these days more buffeting upon my faith. God, I cherish current golden silence before even greater glory ahead. God, don't leave me idle, leave me engaged. bring me sooner my girls, my Royal China. let me raise my sons sooner. thx, dad.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

1st fire opens lunar 2015.

25/2/2015

call it a spring festival.:: this post is for passed lunar spring festival. so many hopes fulfilled, while still so many uncertainty drives me restless. we thankful for God's mercy, and looking breaking through barriers more gracefully. I seemingly more and more see my future new family, my children to descend.this dawn I dreamed with my old family, my sister and brothers. I dreamt masturbated 4 times and anxious how to get rid of evidence. I dreamt of my cousins, ie sons of my only aunt. later dreamt my dad's eldest brother brought his grandson visited us. I help the infant find his billiard back but he almost risking putting in his mouth.today is 1st work day after Chinese greatest traditional holiday, but the dorm canteen still out of service for inadequate customers, operational irregularity or simply lazy. Chinese used spring festival to verify their family ties, threaten outer world out of service while their inner family enjoy harvest of rich food and banquet. this silly consciousness totally blind and even more dangerous in nowadays unified world under God's shine, seamless integrated civil society. I dislike the spring festival, more clearer since last Christmas day when my family business strides with triumph. now I missing a normal breakfast but unable to have. yesterday kid brother finally remit me 2nd part loan, ¥1500, which greatly relief my anxious upon debt caused by new domain zho.io, and recent shopping Walmart with son for glorious bliss. God, dad, thx for so many dangers extinguished on the way toward Royal China. bring me sooner my girls into our new family and budding lives. grant us monuments and momentums of growth and steadiness, save unease in our hearts, ie. my son's and mine. thx for the morning light, dad.

20/2/2015

dreamt of visiting American President.::this lunar new year bring me a new gift, zhone's 18th domain, zho.io. I looking after .io for some time, but reckoned it too expensive, about $60 annually to buy. but good news of my kid brother's loan boosted my confidence. within 2 days I settled it under family sites. yesterday I spent half day expanded the nammespace to facebook, google, vimeo,linkedin, etc. its first domain I didn't originally concoct, but hinted by online media. zho stands for zhong language, Chinese, or China as central country, while .io means input and output. I literally looking forward it gathers conversations between Chinese and world languages forums, esp. English which so rich, powerful and meaningful, fruitful. this dawn I dreamt US President, Obama, visiting China. I was assigned handling a site for his visit. I arranged them, the president and his chief staff officer escorting, enjoyed among crowd a scenery pond. they had good time aside water but mud hopelessly stained their shoes. after they changed shoes, I managed the president autograph 8 or 10 books for holding before they left. then dreamt in a class in English exam. I can't bare lousy cheating murmurs and shift my seat to front row. my senior middle school alumnus, Wang Zaohui, and my once girl friend in Nanikai Univ, Liu Shuyun, among those mocking me during the test before monitoring teacher appears. their jeers led me irresolute. Its a pale morning of second day in lunar new year. I hope tomorrow I can fetch my son do monthly noble life experience, ie, cinema, Walmart, dine out, visiting my dorm. uncertainty is if those services resume then in the boring long traditional Chinese holiday. God, I need more 2-3000 RMB to stay debt free upon beginning lunar 2015. grant me embracing time ahead fearlessly. bring me sooner my Royal China to cultivate in time for agriculture. show my Crowned Queen, Asoh Yukiko, from Japan, road to me and our family preset. thx, dad God.

2/14/2015

dreamed of being intern of google. ::and finally I have my 3rd credit card, an ICBC multi-currency, mastercard jointly powered credit card. its swift for the issuer to deliver to me. when I bitingly waiting for it, I sometimes felt the tiny card shinier than my life so far wanting. even several day in my purse, I keep checking it every few hours to assure its in my blood, my financial life. soon after gained it, I equipped my son, woz's google play with it as payment method. it also powers woz's paypal, our localphone subscription auto-renewal. God, isn't it in good circumstance? hope I will never spoil trust in credit from the bank. in this dawn I dreamt worked in google, lengthily about its free meals. I also got insight upon its corporate operation and enterprise culture phenomena. so many promising quality I entrust it, google! smart automation, moral right, real intimate user experience, pivoting ambition & envision, etc. God, save google from mediocre by metabolism, like Brin who screwed up google glasses and far from cool personal lifestyle. upon my credit card deficit, ¥8000, my kid brother and sinful 2nd elder sister promised loaning me, but the sluggish brother broke his word timing several times. that quite frustrating, or what he intended to defy me? now I had to maintain the debt like a burden. God, dad, why my brother so acid in his claimed helping? what hurts him and let him dart like snake reward? isn't the losing strategy harnessed by China surveillance to crash my hopeful? to testify my gracious road under shrine? God, dad, in this soon to be shiny morning I pray, as so many answered falselessly, grant us debt barrier breaking, like yesterday's bonus ¥1300 from QRRS, my once and long time employer. grant me work space and sustainable energy to polish royal way toward my new 1109 years Empire of China in title Zhu. dad, God, empower us to see through Chinese spring festival and bond in Christian holiday. bring world peace and unity love and caring society. thx, dad.

10/2/2015

gay in dorm stalks me. ::last week an ugly fat sissy beast with abnormally short legs open challenged me with his gay. he tentatively met me in washing room and toilet many occasions. this Monday even I got up irregularly, and went to downstairs to teeth-brushing to avoid the nasty gay whose dorm facing the washing room, he still caught me in floor 2nd washing room. he must have access to webcams supervising dorm corridors, or somebody cooperated him. at first I thought the guy must be emotional disabled, or an idiot intelligently, but this Sunday when I just returned to dorm after reunited my son, the gay just walked in front of me in dorm corridor, glaring and swaggering, I at once informed that the gay was thought-through and well prepared to humiliate me. he is sinful and viciously. even likely others evil conspired with him, he must clear on all the possible consequence. otherwise it can't be so shameless explicit/pompous. last weekends I let my son know the gay affair. we retried the video game, Gatling gears. the game once challenged us so much, but this time with improved gamepad skill we finished all levels in half day. my son's pad finally got all new games from google play, such a relief after brutal extravagant PRC all blocking! the night I slept deep, till 8:20am I woke up and missed breakfast. Monday I read some articles online, mostly rest in roaming in dorm. near dinner time I impulsed to charge woz's google play another $100 via taobao where a vendor offer ¥20 discount, priced ¥600. in the night I dreamt with my son, woz, in a hotel he seemingly familiar. he felt hungry and sought food from the rooms in the hotel. I accompanied him walk through rooms, including staff cabinet, where later a man slept there woke up. I more or less blamed my son using the hotel without permission in advance, and I more and more anxious about outdoor threats through the door under blue mid night light, like video game scenes of zombie apocalypse. later dreamt a family migrated from southeastern China, like many business people from there whose economy earlier developed than other parts of China. the husband, wife, and only daughter lived in jammed residential area. there house just behind a cesspit and very foul. I likely acquainted with the man but can't help much to remove their discomfort. on way to breakfast, which is satisfying for an empty stomach, 2 magpies loudly croaked on trees in dorm garden. I then made a wish that my ICBC credit card arrives sooner. God, dad, lunar Spring Festival due next Wednesday, grant us a peaceful while meaningful holiday. rid me off dirty and psychopaths. consolidate us with hopes saint and faith in U. thx, dad God.