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Monday, September 19, 2016

not too long, not too soon.

Sep 19, 2016

I was likely in tourism to Taipei. when we lined up in front of parliament hall, I bored and scratched pocket, then finger nails drag out a toll of large amount old era bills hidden. my neighbor schoolmates found at once and yelled. I evaded chase and made sure the amount is large. I or schoolmates commented: in communism anything you found will be confiscated, or seized by larger organization and only in lawful nation your findings belongs to u. then in the monitor and a girl schoolmate's house in Taipei they invited me. her mother preparing meal for us. the monitor persuaded me honestly to check the ancient bill again and try to save in bank. when I heading to bank accordingly, the monitor and the girl trying to accompany me. its about 5am, after noted the dream I returned to bed. dreamt jogging on road near qrrs, my once and long time employer. met many foxes running around, they didn't attack even fearsome. then more flying mouse, flying crane or flying pig or goose, with their baby under their belly in air. then in the girl schoolmate's house I busy writing down my dream. her mother blamed me not helping her clean house. I told her blogging and shift away to write on a paper pens holder. this 2 weeks mostly fought GFW for my son's access English web. his internet via vpn insanely blocked. I sometimes a full morning tried all means to penetrate the iron curtain, just aiming bring my son amazon prime video, among which lots of qualified kid English TV programs. I also prepared myself an alternative os for secure operation, android-x86. like in cold war I frequently felt insecure against government backed hacking in sinking PRC, world largest and last hooligan. this weeks mostly raining. the rain drop is the most in my 25 years in northeastern China. I enjoy the rhythm so much! also in the rain I picked my son to dine out while his mom arranged a boy schoolmate of my son visited their house. my son accompanied the boy schoolmate till saw him off. our shoes both sucked by water but fortunately its no cold. we ate fish but woz ate less. returned to dorm, I sensed my son's lose in my unable to prepare him friendship, career, payment or reward like I prepared him tablet, cellphone or smart watch. I sensed his loneliness and uncertainty ahead, while I demanding upon his focus. next morning I resumed more or less courage, known that I can't cover my son his life but God does. I sang in my workload to reinstall his dell notebook os. in dining out I told him I will do my best and likest as usual. he admitted. last day of lunar Mid-Autumn holiday he asked to dine in dicos, after near half year absence since our debt crisis. God dad, grant us financial independence. bring me sooner my Royal China to support my life and family. bring me my Empire peaceful for glory of the Son. free me from prison and notorious of debt trap. in the rainy Autumn shed more sunshine to warm my bed. thx, dad God.

Sep 3, 2016

dreamt of my relocation. last night the rain rhythm was one of the most beautiful moment in my life. this morning I felt sleepy and dreamt of in my hometown with my teenage friend, Fang, a professor now in my crisis of jobless. I saw myself rode a bike on mountainous road to visit Fang's village, where he suggested I trying to find a job in City Huangshi, means yellow stone, where he once worked there. I said I would be a driver then seek promotion to office work, refuted his suggestion of straightly more elegant job he will help. my son and his mom arrived before my departure. my son is very smart and touchingly attached to me. we tried our best to farewell with hope of survive and larger grace. its unclear why there was no bitterness in dream with son's mom. the rain lasted for more than 2 days, longest ever in my impression of Qiqihar where 25 years spent for holy commitment and glory before sticking out. this week I saw how beautiful a sound system can be. the new bluetooth speaker works independent with its own os, battery. I can rely it to entertain myself out of computer and online. harness my listening I will be less bored with too much reading online. in this aim, I bought a google chromecast audio yesterday for audio ebook and podcast in Chinese websites, during credit debt crisis which weighted my heart. I even envision I will listen some online university courses like accounting, economics, statistics, etc. God, dad, I never regret for what I spent in last 2 years by my credit card, every hardware substantially improve my living standard. grant us new gears update current times and meaningful for future we share with the world. bring me sooner my Royal China to update the broken infrastructure under evil communism administrative abusing absent Lordship in my ancestor's title. bring me sooner my new family with my Queens and offspring. thx for the sunshine upon my visit my son 2 hours later.

Aug 31, 2016

a laughable dream. in dawn dream in my hometown while I busy with my stuff, my nephews, a dear and a farer relative, watching TV quiz program. then they won prize of ¥70,000. that's great but I'm not moved and continue my work. then the TV program producer woman from Shanghai visited with my passed mother's companion. soon I got known their plan, they want reward me for my higher education background for promoting their program's popularity, instead of the 2 kids. before I reply I woke up. last night I busy lately around 0pm till music library all settled for my new bluetooth speaker. I previously backup quite some music library but till got some new albums from domestic online shared space I felt satisfied. yesterday PRC broke down my vpn just before I setup the new gadget for google music. I contacted support crew of vpn but yet figure out what the problem was. that proves my doubt that GFW still have control upon my vpn as well as internet which among every level from root to endpoint in their manipulation. last week my son brought by his mom who hated and challenged me quite long, to tourism to far northeastern seashore now under Russian control. the small woman tentatively denied informing me their destiny, and let down my son's mobile as usual. in the 7 days esp lately around Saturday, now that dorm canteen operator held their sister's wedding ceremony and out of service, and I had only ¥30 in pocket, I missed my son very much and unable to reach him in air. I felt the gap son's mom tentative torn up between me and my son under her custody. I felt the despise my son shown influenced by his sinful mom. in the night I thought through if I live without my son's visit and fight for new family on my own from scratch again, and felt quite ready. but next day after I buzzed my son as holy lets, after we reunited and known their tour in neighbor city across border, I forgive their bigot. I brought my son to cinema and dined out after that. God arranges a bonus from QRRS, my once and long time employer, ¥500. I returned remnant of debt for buying woz sony sw2, recharge restaurant subscription of Formosa pie. the rest I shifted to son's mom or the grandma for laundry for me, first time in half year since the credit crisis and unable to pay my support for son's living cost. its as glad as usual weekend reunion except on Monday. returned to dorm I waiting for my dear sound entertainment gadget so hard. setup like a breeze, then amazing workable arrives. while google music unavailable in PRC at the moment, I listened music archives all day. isn't it a wonderful world of innovative tools?
God dad, I'm so satisfied by your dome. bring me sooner my Royal China to deserve the ever fresh new world. rid me off debt and embrace the brave new world. grant me new family with my girls and steers my vested kingdom to new millennium to be more prosperous and peaceful.

Aug 23, 2016

dreamt of just graduated. in dawn dream I gathered with schoolmates before leaving for society. I commented after philosophy major we do understand better abstract noun and use it better. I again didn't attend graduate exam and gave up applying my certificate of bachelor. after almost all other schoolmates left I stayed with my beloved girl to farewell the dean office. I holding my girl who will stay in Tianjin, where her hometown and work in petroleum industry, deeply and she accepted with tendering. I will make living with what I have except scholar proof. when the office administrator woman saw our way off, she told me anytime when I need my certificate, I can return to her and she will help. in dream my university schoolmates mingled with senior middle schoolmates. for example, Zhang Chongfu, my Nankai alumni who loaned me ¥2000 back to about 2008 appears, but the girl accepts me as my girlfriend, likely my senoir middle schoolmate Luo Hui. its really touching for after so long we didn't express love each other in campus but still she accepts me at once after I caress her, and we mean sincere in our first social occupation for living together and support each other. and our schoolmates, the faculties so kind. its a bright morning now. my son again brought by his relentless mother into tourism. the woman copy my way of life and to my son, enjoys current life without spares. previously she just deposit and grab any changes into her wallet. but now she desperate to spend off before our son's future expenditure in growth. is it her conspiracy or suicide in hatred, I don't know, but she lost base of trust and stability. my son visited my dorm last Friday. with borrowed ¥300 we well treated. we tried order our dinner as planned for a long time and ate in dorm first time. my son played video game and watched video online while I busy with sorting my corporate email accounts and sharing them among zhone google apps users. next morning I continued the remnant of the task, after the night VPN unstable and I couldn't synchronize my work online. before we left for KFC breakfast my son still played awhile video game and we enjoy his success through a checkpoint after hard battles against PLA. Sunday we did haircut, where I talked political VIPs among surprised other customers there. in his mom's house I accompanied him till his mom returned near 6pm. we gamed, jogged outside in sunset and buy ice cream for his refrigerator. returned to dorm the developer of our bought app, reply messenger for sw2, replied us on twitter. so nice! dad God, this month my salary improves to ¥2500, pl maintain the increasing and alleviate my credit debt step by step. bring me sooner my Royal China to cater to our land harvest. bring me closer to girls I longing so long. engage me with my cyber startup and my tender love with my girls.

Thursday, August 18, 2016

otherwise life stream.

Aug 18, 2016

dreamt in a tour returning home. met my Tibet artist friend Benba Chungdak. he collects painting job on street. then with him to campus where his dorm hided his paintings. then I saw my 2 wives, a Taiwan girl already with my son, and Asoh Yukiko who gracious as usual. they trifled a small bit upon my love among them, and I blamed my son's mom's improper grudge with Asoh. I'm so glad to see Asoh, who is so beautiful and cordial forever. they likely disputed with persimmon cakes and I brought the gift more for them. they waited for me too long together in the campus. my once mentor in Nankai Univ, a woman in family name Young, led me to where I saw my family. its such a proud and relief, esp my Queens still so beautiful, I caress Asoh and calmed down my son's mom, so pleasant that I woke up at once. napped again found I carried 2 stone stamps to evaluate. the woman auditor identified my own product and another I inherited. she priced the ancient one ¥100,000 and encouraged me practize more on sculpture for true substantial value. its so nice dreams that I would rather not to talk any other topics now. dad, God, I had lived without woman for nearly 10 years. grant me my beloved girls, esp Asoh Yukiko, girl TW, to complete my life long desire of beauty. bring me sooner my Royal China to maintain Majesty, Mighty for beauty. grant me finance independence and offspring prosperous.

Aug 14, 2016

dreamt first about imperial army of English, France, Germany. I was with british army which I reckon best disciplined and survived world monarchy crisis back to World War I. then dreamt with my cousin from his village. on way passing a cave I found a tortoise in its lair and caught it. I blamed escorts didn't bring pincer with us. then in a factory I cooperated on crane with my once colleagues, a man and a woman, trying protect 2 objects while moving other subjects. after the practise I will publish a book. this morning I felt sleepy. last Friday I in holy affirmative visited my son who muted my instant message, against risk of being cursed by his insane mom, a small bitch. then found my son never implement our new router vpn app. I demonstrated him again. during the process, local cop buzzed in, saying ccb bank entreated the police station to urge me clear my credit debt, in the courtesy of neighborhood of their office buildings. returned to QRRS dorm, my 2nd elder sister called. she let me know my kid brother's recent visit was trusted by my other sibling in hometown, and blamed him didn't complete the voyage. I told her my kid brother's wrong perception upon cheating bank, or escapage of debt, claiming PRC's bank system all follows modern western bank's practice, as corporate activity, no violence no cheating once common phenomenon in old Chinese dynasties. I told her and later my kid brother bank's penalty acceleration will soon surplus my paying back speed with my poor salary, making my debt ever-increasing. then she suggested helping me to pay back once for all. I knew how poor they are but still hopeful upon resolving my credit crisis, as holy hints. yesterday I visited my son earlier than usual after persuading him install a reply message app on his smartwatch after he complained no way to reply directly on it. his mom soon brought him to go cinema after we just test out receiving social networks' im while sending function yet problematic. God, help us get what we want. break barrage against our universal messaging service. grant me financial independence before it went worse. dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China to remove the sinking nightmare of PRC aimlessness but devastation. bring me new family and sound business in buffeting PRC prewar.

Aug 11, 2016

this week very busy with innovate our internet borderless access by install router app. I visited my son on Monday to settle it against the bitch, his mom's curse. but she in fact absent. according my son his mom in a 3 days tour out. we indeed enjoy more broader freedom online. my son more or less agreed with me the endeavor after we called it a day and watched Amazon video together with his pad game. last Saturday I taught him a lesson when I found he didn't respect my gift, his new Sony SmartWatch, and ditched aside. I blamed him wrong judgement upon quality of people and thing. later we reconciled in excuse of his naive. since left him I busy with fine tune my website template for 2 days, adding page break into all articles to make homepage more tidy with summaries, more compelling in versatile layouts, esp columns. last night after fixed chrome missing flash plugin and doesn't play video, after enjoyed the peace of watching my favorite USA TV drama, I deeply missing my son, doubting why he turned off so long, ignored my instant message. lately around 9:30pm I buzzed him but he likely slept. this morning I felt sleepy again after breakfast, I tried to immerse in reading and watching but failed. in nap I dreamt I cooking some delicacy in a niche with hotpot, the mood likely in my hometown and my old family, except I am the husband and father. I waited and waited while my son or my concerned more or less impatient. when I ready to open beer, I in urgency to poo but can't help shit in my pant. I intended to replace my under clothes in toilet room by myself but at once woke up. God, dad, I do my best to improve our living environment. even it likely not in my son's interest but I inspired to do it on my own. dad, what's wrong in my son's silence upon my efforts to equip him? Dad God, what's my futile to bring about improvement in my son's living standard? or is it just the sinful little woman's curse and reckless blockage? grant me good stay with my son, in my means catering to him. bring me sooner my Royal China to fix the uncertainty in unity my son, Hope of China, God of Universe. bring us home and voyage with my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. engage me with my cyberspace startup, and traffic meaningful to our web presence. thx, Father.

Aug 1, 2016

first dreamt my passed parents. then dreamt as secretary of chief scriptwriter of CCTV, PRC's official TV station. we slept on a giant bed with lots of colleagues, like scene of Kanye West's "Famous" MTV, reviewed lots of grand history, taiga drama, masterpiece episode, all kind of popular TV programs created from nothing, including the most dominant carnival, annual lunar new year eve party show. we help or direct lots of famous theme commentary or documentary series, for we not only scholar but also all familiared each other to team up. we can check in without ticket anytime. then my boss shitted some on bed and blamed me as scapegoat. all people on bed laughed and didn't probe real trouble maker any more. last week we settled woz's new Sony smart watch 2. he installed most on his own, but while he too busy to logon facebook, twitter, gmail account, I did instead when he is away for his lesson in my Friday visit with inform of his ongoing setup. that's more or less regret for I promised him he handles the new gadget himself, for the sake of technological savvy. the celebration ends with Japanese cuisine lunch he preferred, but he didn't eat much, in fact quite few. and after shower later, he felt exhausted and ate less fruits, too. I also felt sorry mingling his new gear, so I picked video games in 2 weekends. my son joined me sooner, fought through soon in "Bioshock: infinite" till complete, and proud progress in "L.A Noir". he needs more pals to play with, while I babbled too much for maintain Royal linkage. in the week bankcomm clearance crew, I mean male dog, lost patience and trying abuse me with my asylum record. the dog even buzzed my kid brother claiming my mental status unstable, but in fact it totally clueless and just aiming provoking my frustration or anger. God dad, release my son's potential to self-rely, guide him meanings in normal life. bring me sooner my Royal China to integrate Chinese youth's future commitment with Empire of China in 1109 years ahead. straighten holy road toward sanity and strength. grant us finance independence, my startup's success as voice of Royal China and merit of democratic China.

Monday, July 25, 2016

still water, deeper throat.

Jul 25, 2016

dreamt communist cadres' secret entertainment. in my kid brother's last visit, I led him visited QRRS stadium where once open now furnished lavishly and close to communist cadres, who mostly enjoy sports, party, so on at cost of state budget. I dreamt in a villa 2 mistress, young, beautiful, beast alike entertain their customers, cadres of state owned enterprise. then dreamt in the villa one of founders of PRC, Mao Zedong, enjoying talk with media. I asked after all condemns, triumphs after hard time against ruling party of China, nationalist party, if their is any thanks or obligation to the land and people himself belongs to in his rages of nothing. He likely prone to refute it before I wake up. these weeks especially busy with monetize my website, adding more amazon ads after max google ads display on my portal sites. I also tried to gain a virtual American debit card through payoneer, an international payment tool. I previously hope I can use it to collect my google adsense earnings and pay my web site cost without need google remits to domestic bank, which charged dearly and delayed heavily by lots of customs procedures. but unfortunately it support Amazon association ad system but incompatible with google's. what a pity! this month I also inspired by my son, woz's affection on his watch his mom bought him, cheap one and of poor quality. I felt time for my equipping him a smart watch. so I searched online store like amazon, taobao, and chose a Japanese product, Sony smartwatch 2. for my e-payment domestic as well as digital social web locked down in my credit crisis, I borrowed ¥500 from my acquaintance, a glasses vendor migrate from neighbor province of my hometown, Jiangxi Prov, central China. God, dad, grant us a durable and elegant product we bought discount. cheer up my son and myself with new purchase. this week I felt tired of monetizing my web publish, bless me normal altitude to build up my sites steadily. grant these sites web traffic ever increasing. bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain people's enthusiasm once appeared in PRC revolution, which faked by sinful Atheism. renew eastern Asia with old dream of unity and glory.

Jul 18, 2016

dreamt I as a heir of catholic in latin America, raised by 2nd grand bishop. the highest rank bishop, or pope, more or less jealous and put me into attest. on way to my hometown, my girlfriend and me try the best to respect the pope and cared him individually, also trying settle my heir status. then in my hometown village zhudajiu, my 2nd brother summons his pals to assign agenda. before the outcome of competition I woke up. then dreamt install entertainment system for my son woz. his aunt, my 2nd elder sister, gossips about show business of Chinese politicians, saying the old ruling elite is official acting band, while recent politburo is secondary, for the old one literally does play and practise more. Yesterday we first time recharged our Formosa, a Taiwan restaurant franchise, membership with aid from my kid brother's loan, since credit crisis. we ate a richer meal there before weekly shower. we also bought extra fruits. my son was soon brought by his mom to his music lesson, and I waited for more than 3 hours, updating his windows, tried video games, till found the sinful small woman tentatively delayed my son and detained him in downtown dining out, prevented us uniting. the bitch revengeful even in path of decease or dissolve. returned to dorm, near dusk, bankcomm clerk buzzed again, trying to launch a surveillance chat. the gay alike communication soon put aside by me and cut off after several minutes later not listening but found still held on air by the bank office. PRC surveillance tried hard to profane me with lame ducks, that's well perceived tactics. they these days frequently evalue brutal violence against me as last resort to cohere me into silent dead landscape the dictator sickly addictive to. God, dad, baptize me before physical abuse, free me from trap of prison. bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain the national pride after my ancestor. bring my new family in new millennium ahead. boost my startup to self-rely.

Jul 15, 2016

Dreamt with my artist friend. His work, a fine paintings just awarded, a scene of shallow space with glitter highlights. I told him my impression of its success, he listened. Then I followed him walked through his life space, ie. school, dorm, etc. he searches for something in different locations, some quite disgustingly messy and dirty. 2 children of his school faculties played in one scene, on a large stone cave and adjacent platform. When I tried hard to climb down from the stone platform to leave with my artist friend, I woke up. These days monetizing my website comes to a end, all job done, even amazon ads quite some cases doesn't show. I tried to reach help of amazon support but strange errors blocked my posting my problem on its discuss board. I quit with doubts that China surveillance interfered. This week can't be better with tension relieved by kid brother's financial help. In months I can again offered a blind man and a mid-aged farmer woman some changes for charity. I also renew subscription of snack on dorm gate vendor. I also renew subscription in a Taiwanese restaurant, Formosa Pie, for weekend reunion with my son. Its badly urgent for all groupon of dining out ran out. In a word, our weekends saved. Bankcomm clearance crew daily buzzed in but they more and more ran out of respect and patience. They abused their privilege to contact client and I will more shut off conversation with the hostile staff. I also tried to reach out on twitter and kickstarter ( https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/gotrus/746383975/share ) to celebrities like Warren Buffet, Musk Elon, Jeff bezos for help surviving my website under sinking PRC's strangle and debt trap. God, dad, isn't my business booming? Bring my Royal China to family my girls and offspring, support my new family with base of my website in coming decades. Dad, God, I see clearly space of development of my enterprise, or my Empire of China reset for 1109 years ahead.

Jul 13, 2016

since sinking PRC's economic free fall in March has been more than a season, my salary card token over by credit administrative authority for near 2 months. I delayed support my son's living cost and his university deposit plan, his mom's laundry fee for my weekly shower. QRRS dorm canteen operator woman at first allowed loaning me 2nd month for boarding, but lately shown despise and impatience. bankcomm clearance crew buzzed in daily urging to pay back credit deficit. but these all went unnoticed in my heat to mobilize my website for gains. I informed my hometown relatives my unbalanced situation when my salary almost freezed, they forward helping need to my kid brother who operating a small workshop in southern China and with more running cashes. but my kid brother is a stubborn and arrogant young man. he reckons my financial problem cureless and untrustworthy. we exchanged some bitter words then cut off. till QRRS dorm canteen operator urged me to return their boarding loan for runing shortage, I can barely live under loans and peace. nearby acquaintance like the canteen operator poses a rather harsher threat for my living, for dog rampant northeastern China breeds lots of hate and violence. so I visited my once workplace, QRRS corporate culture department. the director got my mobile number after acknowledged my dangerous situation, promised informing me if his leader board, QRRS HQ, extends me a solution. but the call back never happens. I lives in silent begging meal several days in canteen who urged me 3 more times. then on Sunday Jul 10, 2016, my kid brother flash appeared on my door. he likely informed my son's mom's family, except me in his flight tour here. he brought a solution including pay back canteen loan ¥2900 immediately, pay my boarding remote from now on via his wechat, a Chinese mainstream social tool, connected with canteen operator, a debit card of his account shifting to me and cashable ¥1000/monthly. the resolution so charming all the afternoon I felt dizzy, after my kid brother asked my escort to visit my workplace and noded some of my colleagues or cadres of QRRS. he is surely ambitious with his pay power. next day I visited my son who just brought by his mom's school delegation toured neighbor province resort. I withdrawn ¥500 from my brother's card and treated my son his favorite Islamic beef after shower. returned to dorm, near dusk, my brother dropped my dorm and invited me to dine out with him. he is showy even in an alien city, which in my view reckless. and more we discussed our world view and political faith, more we dispute and repulsive each other. on taxi back his hotel, we hardly thankful even the healing resolution pack. after 2 moths' delay, I don't know if he realizes who is right when crisis aroused and proper loan in time I suggested presight, against stalemate bank penalty now mounts to near ¥900/month.
God, dad, I'm no doubt vested kingdom of China of 1109 years ahead under the Son, my title. but can't our sibling share more common views on our ancestor's land? God, dad I now saw promised salvage peacefully in position. isn't it a cause for celebration in the summer? thx, dad, God, all these beautiful sunshine and breeze among tension and relief.
here photo of his last night dinner. for he arrogantly unfriended camera, his photo seemingly slightly ugly.
my kid brother's  last night dinner in Qiqihar with a helping financial pack. for he arrogantly unfriended cameraman, his photo seemingly slightly ugly.
my kid brother's last night dinner in Qiqihar with a helping financial pack. for he arrogantly despised cameraman, his photo seemingly slightly ugly.
#God #AsohYukiko #dream #life #love