homed partially, on web.

Oct 12, 2020

the chilly dorm let my fingers swollen again, but God's mercy, my body just workable for daily life, even more time & pains covering chores, like put up, mopping floor, etc. recently I equipped myself 2 small laptop blankets, which effective warms up my knees. previously I bought a full size blanket for laptop, but holy message let me bought it which proving very helpful on bed against dorm chill. last night holy spirit lets me ordered my son a Mcdonald deliver & my son enjoys it even a bot late. this morning in warm quilts, I dreamed likely in a candidate campaign team. I using a tool likely offline downloader to multi-accounts management, simulating actual polling or voting. I dreamed other matters but forgot now them. dorm water supply down this moment, but God, I just got my warm keeping plastic bag filled, and tea prepared. when i got up it's pal and smoggy, but now morning sunshine so golden. dear God, my websites recently under lots attacks but now it turns stronger and I will see the final laugh. I proud of them, so simply while viable. Holy just prepared me readier for it, like database backup. PRC surveillance hired zombie hackers just wasted their money & cheap youth. dear God, in this first clear memorized dream since my re-blogging, I will end it with prayer for my emerging 1109 years Empire of China as persistent leading successful Empires of Great British and Japan. God dad, home me after half life roaming in my forbidden city.

Sep 29, 2020

today a bit special: in half decade i first ate an elegant dinner for celebrating sudden nap in late afternoon. that's likely due to recent thick tasks to restore my son and my workspace, esp brunch framework based chromeOS on our Intel Nuc. this afternoon i even tried to re-enable my todo list management via google tasks and my web app at https://agarten.in. after enjoyed it so much in last 9 years then broke by PRC surveillance, now i know my work experience matters much than any others. i really like my workspace. holy spirit sees why i can live them alive again. my son's workspace recently wrecked by his harshness & inexperienced, I didn't expect to help him restored it, for God just let me visit him on my not real birthday, Sep 27, then i found him joined his school, however, the grandma open the door for me, and i worked there till dusk, reinstall windows, Linux, android x86, etc. when my son returned from school, on dinner table, I babbled my job & he satisfied by my demonstration of new OSes. but still i less buzzed him recently, say, last night i muted all time, even i want to chat him. i saw his inconvenience not to lie to me if i insist to understand him closely. dear God, he needs free space to develop his vision, not responsible for me or anyone in the world. dear God, this dinner let me so full and complacent that I peacefully watched a movie online without call anyone amid chilly dorm room. dear God, if aging really your arrangement, why not I accept it? I felt the joy in peace of doze. grant me more freedom of body resilience, in long run, I have faith greater grace upon me, dad, I 'm bidding you, let my life more activities, esp my infant. thx, dad God, bring me sooner my partner of life. in this deep night, my singer for harmony is truely.

Sep 23, 2020

dear God, isn't today a special day? I decided to reblog my life on my website. yesterday I tried to persuade my son to restore his computers to working status, for that I had visited his house when he schooling with 2 bootable installation udisks for windows and Linux. but he refused again, recently he more frequently disrespects me, seemingly he enrolled by prodigy high school locally boost his pomposity, while my recent ailment, ie. painful fingers and wrest, disappointed him. his mom, a small sinister woman, now fetching him every dusk after schooling, a way to tighten her rein over the naive kid. I scorned him 3 times in the phone but he refused to retreat. this morning i cursed him again, trying layout his inevitable biding my prevailing earth power, but he yet forgave. on noon, i busy with updating my websites' ssl and the result let me relaxed and I buzzed him again, intending ease my anger but he hanged outside with his pal. his short mom cunning as usual refused my suggestion to fix her notebooks in a bundle of reuniting occasion during coming PRC national holiday even in fact she badly needs the fixation. that occurred during my daily jogging at noon, in the long solitude, I saw severe long halt between my intimacy with my son, war before my proving myself with new family and new son, a long promised i shared with my son.
this last 2 years' absence, I tried to evade failing PRC's surveillance, the damned dorm room's chill and wet let my bone malfunctions, after 2 months painful fingers and swelling foot, now I almost see light of tunnel as holy guides. but I really don't know how to seek a new family now that I saw more and more aging on my body. I admit it's a core issue to my life and my self-esteem, and my son's wish. dear God, now, here I'm. I treated myself fruits, oranges and bananas from nearby newly opened grocery. I marked today as spiritual and praying new stage ahead. God dad, bring me my new family sooner, and my new infant. reunite my son with me in glory.

rattling rats from PRC surveillance.

Sep 15, 2018

these days pestered by upper floor's rats a lot. they had access to PRC telecom's account administration and frequently closed my Internet connection. since last week it totally shutdown my Internet after they failed to intercept my vpn traffic. in 2 days my dorm fiber optics broken, I had to rely on my mobile cellular data. at first I thought it would soon resume. later I thought might be I forgot to hand over Internet fee due to busy workload around salary day this month. waited to Monday I recharged my dorm Internet and found it wasn't caused by my account deficit. my account valid still cut out of service by PRC Internet cop. late Monday my fiber optics network restored after filed connection failure complain. in the harsh I bought my son a second mobile, a product of HTC, Taiwanese digital producer, for the price too attractive. after broke neck looking forward twice, first time a cheap bolt version then replaced our order to HTC 10 for popularity and max compatibility, we got it. then misled by online developer's community, I upgraded its OS to android 8 and unable to unlock its boot loader. I tried all means, in wilder sought for replace its verizon bundled OS with custom rom which easier and user friendly. after so many tries, I finally turned it brick when trying flash its boot loader. after nearly half month relentlessly sought settling it, now I had to wait the vendor repair it in another half month. this is a peaceful sunny morning, after latest night drizzle. it's not too bad, isn't it, God dad, after so many best buy in this Summer and Autumn? I felt so bounty with these equipment and ready tools. in every sense of office and warehouse, I had it. this month also saw my younger brother sent us moon cakes when lunar Mourning Day coming. I shared some with my concerned people around the dorm. it's bountiful, too. I also talked first time to my nephew, ie. second son of my 2nd elder brother, since his marriage broken and refused female in his life as his mom rumored when a year before my elder sisters shared their lunar Spring festival with us. my elder brother carefully protected his dear son not to be hurt by reckless chatter, but this time he allowed me talked with his innocent kid. I urged him not to give up enjoying life, material living. I demonstrated my workspace I gathered in my half life, with my recent satisfactory with world progressive furnishment. my nephew listened a lot, admitted his continue efforts to carry on family life. I also told my elder sister my complacent upon this year's purchases. I fearless under espionage around trying paralyze my workspace, humiliated me by torn apart my vpn and secure web. God dad, the rats on upper floor made relentlessly noise when I worked. rid me off the hazard sooner. bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me my Crown Queen, Asoh Yukiko, from Japan. bring me sooner my new family and house. grant us, esp my concerned son, woz, his enjoyable school experience. violent dark web of PRC trying these days to afraid me, let them fear, scatter their mob. God dad, save us in faith securer.

Aug 27, 2018

dreamed in my hometown I likely in my vacation. the village driver, the only son of passed carpenter, asked me to find my younger brother to help him drive for an event. I open my proud book I reading which full of symbols and very precious legacy, to search my younger brother's phone number. it soon settled and all happy with that. my brother in dream already a nearly millionaire with his mills. the dream very vivid after I got up. I intended to blog it at once around 6am. but the upper floor's insane PRC surveillance, likely a freaky, made sounds warned me the under skin espionage, so I would rather wait. the state backed agent not only surveillance me, but also every chances attempted to terrify me with its psychotic: recklessly closely approaching me and coercing me with relentless noises it can make on the thin sensitive floor with chair, stride, nail, bump etc at every synchronic moments beside wall. last week we refreshed with my younger brother's loan for monthly cinema and dine out. he previously attempted to detain my help cry, refused twice my mobile calls when I tried to change our broadband capacity, which requests ¥500 but in fact that's dirty cheat from unqualified chinatel staff while in its official office next week the crew girl charges free to change our plan for 200MB/s within a data bundle discounts to 82CNY/mon includes mobile data limitless. my mean brother each time reluctant to draw his purse for me, usually in cause not to admit my investment or deluxe lifestyle. I had previously determined to carry out the data plan change on my own. so when he buzzed back claiming he had been accompanying his son to park and missed my calls, I told him nothing special. but he was listening, so I told him my story: my son's mobile 4G data plan deficits in his morning exercise while playing with his pals outdoors and I intending upgrade to speeder broadband for the sake of modern fiber optic broadband and time saving on internet time lapse. he almost defied it in hurry to close talk to drive. returned to dorm, I felt I hardly cope the expenditure with my poor salary. so I messaged him he can loan us ¥800 as he previously admitted to help me repair my erode tooth base. he replied he only responsible for my living, not my other costs. I waited a night. next day I sms him in rage about our ancestor's legendary: Ming Dynasty's 1st prince tried to use imperative force to restrain his blood sibling, killing family love with ruling power, which only resulted in disastrous himself suicide in Royal city he inherited from his grandpa, Founder of Ming Dynasty, with his all fondness and fidelity. I didn't expected reply nor reward. but next next day when I search all means to pay groupon for my son monthly cinema and dine out, I found my brother already remit us 1000 CNY 2 days ago. I had previously check my financial account several times and never gained. so I doubting if my brother aid's arrival date hacked by state intelligent agency, just trying defying power of my persuading and prophet. after all, the ¥1000 let us so plenty in entertainment and business capable: I renewed zho.io for 2 more years with our domain registrar, equip myself another ssd of 128GB for scenarios like copying larger file fat32 forbidden. It's just too wonderful to be constrained in scarcity. last weekend, I also overnight worked out to switch our old chromebox OS from chromeOS of google to open source chromiumOS, which adorably native supports Android apps, even google play store. Sunday night I non-break 6 hours to re-flash my son's new zonfone 3 with custom rom world developers contributed, after found previous OS let down chinatel gsm calling and sms. even finally I didn't fix sms and calling failure, but LTE data at least working, allowing us making full potential of our new data plan with chinatel: no limit of data! and my son's wifi heavily under PRC surveillance attacks, almost all internet traffic through the router disabled vpn. we badly sought auxiliary channel to evade deadly blockage in falling PRC wasteland cyberspace. God dad, bring us sooner our viable work space, secure our growth independently, out of entrenched by state backed hackers. bring me sooner my Royal China for relieve all trapped Chinese in felling PRC. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for unites Japan and China after turbulent world war 2, for ambitions 2 nations manifested in centuries, in tears, glories an proud, in likage of language. grant our workload meaningful and intact through ruin of PRC dictation, rampant fires of national revolts in insanely depressed and depravity.

Aug 17, 2018

dreamed my university era artist friend, Benba Chungdak. at first with his friend Li Moufeng, in the campus I familiared. then in Benba's house or my house we at leisure. my son joined our conversation. Benba in dream now a well know artist. we talked a lot. my son trusted our guest and learned. my dorm internet under a new wave of surveillance and breakin attempts. I already gave up router but client, which also sometimes unstable. new weekend arriving, there is a new blockbuster PRC granted to import, Antman 2. my son chose it from 2 other optional USA films on show recently. he also delayed my invitation to visit my dorm this weekend, rather he will invite his peer into his house, likely for gaming and entertainment. It's a cool morning. wardless web turns so hard to achieve now. I more and more speechless now, amid hardship tyrant PRC exerts upon my living sphere. there are more state intelligent agents in QRRS Dorm surrounding my room here to surveillance me 7*24, costly on PRC fragile totalitarian treasury. God dad, how long we will wait for the overturn, I in faith of the future out of burning campfires among insanely pressed domestic nations. in bitter reality, I hope it fosters revolution rips us off the poorly endangered dictation. bring me sooner my Royal China. my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, come and overturn my prison our enemies engulfed. live us freedom, so to China bitchy mob, jobless riot. game changer, Dad God, let out the active agenda for the sake of better China. thx God, survivor is U.S.

Aug 12, 2018

last night watched a talk show of Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon. his easygoing character deeply touched me. truth of life, of fortune, of mission, expand in front of me. in dawn dream, I worked for him, then in army, both reveals truth, or secret of success, course unchangeable. aging let me harder now to memorize dream, but its scenario comforts me. it's a boring morning. the ugly lesbian again lingered in the shabby neighbor room chattering, pretending she had a job there. the whole dorm administrative team moved from their offices seperate into the dorm, mimic my office in dorm. they can't believe they doomed to lose their jobs. their cheap copycat deprives their means of living. they are all thieves in fact, or robbery of innocent. the room in my upper direct floor likely occupied by state backed intelligent agent. they constantly made noise in key situations trying to coerce me. my new chromebox frequently encountered abnormal quit, likely hacked by PRC government online. my son last night just returned from his mom's hometown journey. they visited again the woman's relatives in their hometown, a small town hours away by train. I hope my son enjoy it but afraid he was hijacked by his stupid mom in fact. hours later I will reunite him for lunching out and shower in spa weekly. my new chromebox not only securer, but largely changed my workflow and efficiency. I now consume news most of workday, rather than previously only in the beginning of morning, restricted by portable device for desktop windows might fail me in its insecure. last night I check my alipay credit, found my installment total near ¥900, which much a relief for my monthly return alipay ¥1300 and stumbled about uncommon expenditure. made clear of debt base, I immediately recharged our mobiles fee, around 300 CNY. God dad, lift my dependence on my local loaner, who might turning reluctant. grant us a richer salary this month for I due to pay some extra bills including medicine, clothes, etc. secure my workspace with findings, revealing truth our mission concerns. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for ease of living. let me stay in self-contain upon life stream and social motivation. guarantee my cyberspace publishing booming and plenty of self-rely.

countless sworn in, inc new chromebox 3 into zhone enlist.

Aug 7, 2018

dreamed at my nephew's city, neighbor city of Hangzhou, Changzhou. among crowd I tried to talk to him, first son of my 3rd elder sister's, tring to coach him on business and life. I also concerned his brother in dream. It's a golden morning. last night I first close my window before went to bed since this summer, for today is lunar Autumn creeps in. this month exceptional weighted for I equipped myself another chromebox, Asus chromebox 3, after our chromebox CN60 shifted to my son as his lounge mini pc. my internet frenzy almost fading, so I felt a bit guilty for the purchase. I tried to persuade my son accept the chromebox 3 as his gear and lent me for some years and I almost got it. the chromebox native support google play, let it so unique and powerful. I shifted most my daily usage onto its platform, inc agenda management, financial booking, reading source, watching video, etc. never over-estimates its function. I invited my son lingered 3 days in my dorm for the gadget's arrival from British vendor through Amazon China. I previously intended to spend a week with my son in my dorm. but his mom scorned us when we returned for weekly shower in public spa on Sunday at her house. My son felt enough of gaming streams at youtube.com and rather to return his mom's custody for homework after 3 exciting nights with unrestrained gaming and watching online videos. the purchase initiated by my son's loan then aided by dorm canteen operative woman's ￥2000 loan, cost us around ￥2100 which let me so satisfied and profitable, allowing me budget 1000 for woz's a week staying plan here my dorm. but my son suggested end it after 3 days' rich meals and meaningful interactive on his devices, left us 200 in pocket before this week. we also watched a cheap France movie, "taxi 5" on Saturday. all blockbusters denied by PRC authority, we unable to choose a quality one. we dined hotpot after cinema, in a drizzle dusk. this summer in Qiqihar exceptional rains let it cooler than ever. I even put on a coat shirt last night in my dorm against chill. dad God, now almost dust down with chromebox, I relentless with it when it hit road from UK. thanks for the finance and logistics. with it my workload more efficient and our informative environment more secured. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. my son, woz, more engaged in his Junior middle school schedule. grant him his satisfying performance and reward meaningful. fill my life with interests and enthusiasm. lead us vision our mission bounds. rid me off the sinful ugly lesbian in my neighbor room, where never occupied before surveillance and profanity.

Jul 17, 2018

dreamed with my alumni, likely 3 or 4 members, some with family, in traveling from Beijing to Tianjin, my university campus, then to our hometown, Wuhan, central China. they are likely my senior middle school alumni, esp some studies harder than me and enrolled by more elite university like Peking Univ., or Tsinghua Univ. one of them with his daughter while I always felt honor and glory with my son in heart in dream. the alumnus likes details, so we check our package times and times, esp ticket and private items. I later gave up and just let him to take care of those stuff for me. traveling, once so focus demanding for otherwise you will punished for missing out line so heavily that I sensed in dream again the unrest and changes uncertain as well as our future unborn promising. this is a clean and clear morning, after last night rain. I wondered about my miserably separated from my son and who exerts behind. Last Sunday I told my son I reviewed history of his mom's mother's intervene with her elder sister, a witchy fox, just after his birth, tried to keep my baby from my reach. their plots long time aiming deprive me of my son, which still on going.
after breakfast I tried to read and re-napped due to sleepy. I visited in dream a guy likely my alumnus Peng Jinglei. he worked in a remote area in PRC likely Xinjing. we first met his father-in-law and his son. his naughty son soon broke my glasses. the grandpa tried to repair it while his daughter returned from her school as she is a teacher. when I teased the boy with English words, Peng returned and exchange our review on each life since graduation. Peng likely satisfied by his life and cautious upon our visit. when wrote this blog, I recognized that the guy can be a QRRS colleague, who now a high rant manager in QRRS. he migrated from Xinjiang after graduate and later moved his old parent here with him, away from the turbulent western area fluctuated with PRC army farmers. he married a cadre's daughter in QRRS, a SOE enrolled us same year and lately didn't have child. he might lead a careful life for his father-in-law might be as bossy as once. his father-in-law in dream reminds me he can be another elder, my son's mom's lesbian girlfriend's dad. he once be an educator, now had some skill and knowledge as middle class, but as I claimed once in my blog, no one in their elder respectable in sinful PRC except my passed dad who fought whole life and maintained humble in his lonely retirement in the village, Zhudajiu, offspring of Emperor of Ming Dynasty.
this 2 dreams so vivid that a bit strange in my recent life. I more and more lost patience and faith in dreams, once so meaningful and promising. God dad, I recently so hateful upon my life which bored me into tears. bring me sooner my Royal China for 1109 years in future world foresight. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for my aging and children. grant us financial ready for glory of the Son and his people, his family support. affirm faith in praying heart, and glory of more achievement ahead unfolds.

in solemn confidence.

Mar 11, 2018

Dreamt in class where my once junior middle school language teacher offering his lecture. While his speech too boring I cheated to cover my reading my own material. When he stepped down to check our listening, my heart beat heavier. But fortunately he didn’t found under my text book there was another book I hid my pleasure. I felt shameless the middle aged male teacher demands students so much to catch his lesson up while his teaching so boring and meaningless. This week half waiting my alumnus’ aid which never happened to buy my own another chromebox. I previously planned to equip my son a new convertible chromebook, but on Wednesday I was attracted by chromebox which cheaper and its ethernet interface card more powerful than a wireless card. I was inspired by the idea and pains brewing me in wanting upon which I knew on my own I can’t realize. So I resorted to my senior middle school alumni for fundraising 2000 CNY. One of them once the best scored and enrolled by most privileged PRC university, Beijing Univ, and visited my campus in Tianjin and slept my bed, to whom a year ago I entreated for aiding me to flying to visit my kid brother in southern China and got his ambiguous refusal. So this time I thought there was still cherished memories in our friendship, and his job likely earns much more than mine, for his major is international law or economics and worked in stock market after graduate. But this time, 1000 CNY as I expected solely, he again refused me and blacklist me without any word exchange, after my 4 sms and 3 buzzes sinked. I didn't bother contacting any other alumni after the denial. In the day after International Women Day, a snow continued after days break in my clueless reaching out. I still didn’t understand after looking into why someone put money before friendship and moral kindness. Is PRC economy turns harsher day by day for the once academic leader turned so mean? Or my enviable cyberspace harvest in a decade's blogging as well as holy missionary under God’s shine turns the wellbeing alumnus hatred and bitter to turn his back indecently to me? After the refusal I busy yesterday all day on my raspberry pi, preparing it more liable and useful. God sharpen my sight that my workspace already spacious and reliable, after all attempts constraining. In this dawn I felt hard to sleep, and bliss ahead so thick. So I got up before 6am to blog, for today would be a blessing exciting day with my son, woz, in our busy agenda learning and studying.
Dad God, in your holy guide I got to know weakness among highly succeeded people include my alumni. Guard me to steer through wasteland in PRC where cheap souls compete to extinguish heroism. Bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko for clearer vision in eastern Asia landscape. Grant us happy weekend reuniting as usual.

Mar 6, 2018

dreamt my publishing career gets happy ending: my novel published or my literature awarded. my passed mother accompanied me to return to my hometown, where new houses building. quite some villagers congratulated me while myself also enjoy my success: my narrative style studied by scholar and critic. This is a sunny morning. I still feel not prepared to utter anything. Last week is interesting: I first time settle up arch linux, whose heavy command based renew my experience of Microsoft dos decades ago. Linux really amazing! And by chance we also experienced raspbian, another wonderful linux distribution. Both speedy on our raspberry pi 3, which turns into a full functional pc from educational toy. I really enjoy the gadget. Arch linux so impressive that I decided to install it after my old chromebook’s EOL met. This breakfast is satisfying, while the operative man frequently coughed and spit during serving let me anxious his illness infectious. His wife promised to wash my clothes but likely now the task shifted to a mid aged woman works there. They kept my dirty clothes for 3 weeks there intact. And yesterday the woman washing claimed she brought my clothes home to wash, not within the dorm nor its canteen. So they cheat me, and let my clothes more vulnerable to virus, privacy more looser. God dad, this week my alipay credit debt amounts to near 700 CNY, help me in these 2 months, whose income usually inclines lower due to corporate earning less after lazy lunar holiday. Dad God, time turns much harder to kill in my aging, my life more miserable in waiting, waiting for gathering, waiting for glories, even waiting for a better meal with my son. Bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me sooner my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, to accomplish my earth life. Grant us another child, whose cyberspace I preparing since last year, billingzhu.com. Thx dad God.

Mar 1, 2018

dreamt doubting printing technology, how woodblock picture prints color accurately represented by oil. then through a magic hole, I entered a legendary world where I turned from tiny figure to a hero with sword to revenge. he refused help but judge by his own to murder his historical enemies. I was astonished by dangers and thrills in the master protagonist encountered in his brave world. Lunar 2018 first snow lasted 2 days. This morning when I went to dorm canteen for breakfast, its cover much thicker than yesterday. Quite some dorm administrative women outdoor cleaning road. Its so beautiful! And my breakfast is satisfying, esp sugar pie served first time after spring festival holiday. The day before yesterday, I worked continuously near 40 hours to rebuild portable workspace on my ssd and raspberry pi. After successfully got new oses ready and backups sound, I slept in chair when watching episode which lagging due to internet under PRC surveillance. In the night I slept sound, till next noon I got up directly to canteen for lunch. PRC tyrant attempted to rewrite rubber constitution to pave for his life time dictation, which arouse large scale debate among Chinese as well as world stage. Chinese people usually begging their living tiny space, not much social storm. But the communist tyrant wanted to humiliate Chinese now that the rubber constitution didn’t ban unconditional ruling power, as ghost communism put into fake republic leader. Chinese is a tribe that respects their interface. But their harmonious face torn by shameless power stealth tyrant now dominating the stage, who also challenges all PRC citizen with its death or wealth for last bet. Chinese in long brutal conflicts with nomad and historic lessons taught them not to expect government to good behaves but this time its fate again put in attest, God or Godless, Jesus or their folk pantheon. Review last decade’s poor western China gang’s public show on PRC lawless cheap square, I felt much sure that holy spirit leaves me prepared for monkey mimics carnival for superficial glory. Their social achievement and economic robbery turning PRC a hell of prey and nightmare of smash of minimal, failing most sinful Chinese indifferent of their outer space but their tiny live sphere, bloodless hatch and hopeless survivor.
God, dad, its a sunny morning now. Yesterday I talked with my son online for arrangement of last dining out celebrating the end of spring festival. Bring me sooner my Royal China, and my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for the rest of my earth life. Bring me with my son new study of arch linux and new ultra convertible chromebook. Grant us a smooth year for steady growth, and larger web of world democracy of sustainable.

Feb 21, 2018

First dreamt of my university alumni, Wenxiong, who recently has been a bureaucracy in his hometown province, Hunan. Then I brought my son following someone in night street. My son asked for snack then slept in my arms. I felt so sweet and full of live meanings with him. Then dream we in a wedding ceremony team moving to some places, half way we passed a relatives’ village where 2 cousin girls debated with me in English and trying attracting me or condemned my keeping single so far. Their kindness left me relaxed. This is lunar new year 6th day. Still there are firecrackers explode in air, far away. Yesterday I felt hungry after 2 box of instant noodles my younger brother sent me, so I lately around 5pm ate some rices & dumplings in nearby restaurant and felt satisfied. Tomorrow I will brought my son dine out buffet, where I hope I can eat more. The dorm administrative woman said QRRS will resume to work on next Monday, while national holiday arrangement online claims tomorrow will be workday. My younger brother buzzed me dusk before eve of lunar new year when I jogging and missed his call. When I called back twice, he refuted it. He is posing to ignore me to feed his ego. All my old family, ie, my elder siblings, called by me once before lunar new year. None of them call back. In the lunar holiday I didn’t feel lonely, but enjoy quite sometimes solitude and joyful bountiful of time space. Internet in those days especially stable and usually I let podcast playing all day long. USA gun control debate after massive school shooting arouse students protest didn’t bother me. I saw many familiarity between Chinese 8964 event and what’s on US. Young lives and social motivation on large scale don’t move me much. I more confident in God’s bliss, which more making sense in believing life, from naive souls. God, dad, these days starving left me more close to Christian calendar, and world in crisis of food and water, and separation they bring about with hatred and murders. In this view I am ready for selective survival, out of brutality and cleanse large scale among human cattle. Dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China in better world under Christian, bring my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for life sustainable and gracious.

In completion of 2017.

Dec 19, 2017

dreamt being friend of an English noble family, or Japanese host, ie their 2 boys and only daughter. first the boys showed me their real estate, and traditional kid practices around & in trench of their castle, which so beautiful, with yard and fence, and harvesting field with peasants nearby. I commented British buildings usually round shape while Chinese commodity residential block usually in slice alike. they also showed me their parties. then their only sister returned. the girl likely an artist, she put on me new shirt & introduced me to her party. when I prepared to performance and jumping from 2nd floor balcony to hall ground over awaiting crowd, my alarm woke me up. it's a warm dream, without pressure, esp the daughter cares me so much. this week still in wilder joys aid by alipay virtual credit. I try to prepare an installment with the credit, so I in urgency to spend near ￥1500 so as to mount to 2000 CNY installment. spending upon year end gifts really a breeze. I equipped dearest son a suite of SWAT winter uniform, including coat & pants, pricey ￥350. last night I spend another 120 on family photo book reviewing a decade golden memories, esp in woz's growth. for our domain registrar, godaddy defies the credit, I partially shift some deposit from monthly mobile data plan and spare cash for renewing our remnant 16 domains year end. but mobile fee recharging has limit set by the virtual credit, so I only allowed 400 CNY to transit. however, after these operations, I more confident that 2017 will complete without regret. past week also allows us enjoying benefit of goods, like my kid brother aided me a new Japanese style bed cushion, quite soft & warm & economic efficient, I praise it exceeding word. otherwise each morning esp chiller morning when I get up my bone hurts. our new google home mini first arrived amid our seasonal cyber gifts. it's so beautifully functional, enrich my son's spoken English & informative anytime empowered by the moral uplifting American corporate giant. we spend half hour to setup it, still my son at a loss for he was not left alone to accomplish the task. he wants now to carry independent workload on his own. that remind me how hard my situation can be in a tiny world our economy & social circumstance permits. my kid brother this time generously extended arms to me, likely last time our elder brother loaned me for domain renewal even in his hard time shamed him, and his aid grants us to upgrade our rechargeable batteries stock, which prepares us for more e-gadgets to harness even more wonderful modern living standard. God, dad, reviewing our situation, we felt so much blessed: our beneficence hinders nobody, our broad laugh shadows no one. while most renowned billionaires bow to PRC sinful tyrant, confronted by lawless deprivation and death penalty instead of standing clean, esp IT industry monopolies in rats' race. God dad, our anxious free growth might ceilied esp upon my offspring, but dearest God dad, is there anything we bestowed is not under your Holy Majesty warranty? grant us usual path, and merry heart forever, under shine & shrine. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for broader future of our 2 nations. in our ancestors' forged link, we stand firmer on the eastern Asia now and then forever.

Dec 12, 2017

these weeks brewing shopping online for quite some times, empowered by alipay virtual credit. but unfortunately godaddy doesn't support it. so I ordered woz's new boot, google home mini as planned in this dawn. later I will buy myself tea whose deficit last months helplessly. In dawn dreamt of a respected elder, likely PRC general Liu Bocheng. he first in my dream appeared as a painter, who drew golden leaves with Chinese traditional calligraphic painting. then he linked 3 painted leaves in a line to forge a brush and drew more in batch likes painting software, painter which can animate painting procedure does. then some relatives of the elder appeared, claimed the renowned man never query the elapse of his old acquaintances, for he can grasp the information in solitude & void. after woke up I felt he must be old partner of Deng Xiaoping, General Liu. these days PRC surveillance turns more rampant, and insanely. last weekend it only deterred playing back & restricted sources available via lagging internet, but last night it shameless rip audio from online episodes real time stream, and reset cache building minutes each after 2 or 3 minutes, just aiming upset my watching experience. hatred in PRC, esp dogs arranged by tyranny let me sad sometimes recently, by their desperate, cheap and total equipped to teeth. nevertheless my son rejoiced after my analyses of adversity we were beset, after he felt insulted by my scorn when he refused counting cash for me when I handover bills to pay our spa groupon in front the counter. might he thought the ammount, ￥250, too small for his engagement, but I hoped he recount before shifting to cashier, for I just roughly fetched from my purse. but he move them directly to cashier with whom I natively didn't trust. my son got hurt and in next Saturday when we went cinema & bought Taiwanese sweet juice he refused to face cashier. I first puzzled by his refusal, blamed him shy to publicity. then I saw his attitude & reason behind. so in Sunday luncheon, I explained why I didn't put him as independent but a kid. we more or less reunited & the downtown hotel restaurant lunch is delicious. after showered & returned to his mom's house, I let him watch "Rick & Morty" while I massaged his feet. his sinful mom tentatively arranged her lesbian friend's son came over for her english tuition, then my son looked diligently to play steam game with the docile kid while his mom, also the cheating kid, posed to be too busy and left my son unfinished amid game playing. its all right God, dad, just let the bitch does her utmost sins trying tearing my son apart between beast & holy, hership vs fathership.
God, dad, 2017 ends soon. grant us renew all 21 domains with bonus, my only source of surplus in bare living year long including boarding & lodging, spa, barber, monthly cinema, weekly dining out with woz, dearest son. grant us self-relying sooner my online portal of Royal China. bring me sooner my Crown Queen, Asoh Yukiko, for future ahead, for tomorrow reality in eastern Asia. protect zhone 21 domains in our title & promising in their far-sight & far reaching game changing. grant us merry Christmas & lunar new year!

Nov 30, 2017

dreamt editing video as my old career in QRRS cable TV. a piece of video abnormal & frequently freezed. I reported to leader that its likely encrypted. my once departmental leader, likely framed me and side watched for my clueless while playing Mahjong with his pals in the studio. but I checked carefully to assure its not damaged but encrypted, then gradually decrypted the video. after that I posted my resignation notice for the unfriend environment in which the boss conjected with departmental leader setup me in. last night I felt sad for our new registrar, dynadot, so irresponsible to fix its problematic dns setting rule. it domain root record defies matched field, say title and value, but just arbitrary single value. while zoho mail hosting SPF and let's encrypt ssl dns verification both need title "@" matching txt value field, otherwise the only txt value wouldn't be recognized, and verification halt to proceed. such a simple malfunction defied many users' operational inc mine, and caused many complains in its user community. but after near 3 months after my transferation from godaddy, I yet saw fix at all. the boss of the company shows his leisure time with his pet dog in his pool on social media. this reminds me their less concerns with their product on which I deeply hope I can firmly cling to, after departed from godaddy which more intelligent and powerful esp dns setting, just in one shortcoming, too expensive & bargain needed in renewal. I hope our new registrar, dynadot, responsible, steady, but new found let the assumption shakeable. God dad, why domain registry so thin in scale of intellectual property, why is it so easy to be a domain registrar with such a problematic product while remains open service? it shakes my faith in American corporate moral, and traditional Chinese, esp from Taiwan, as dynadot founder is a Taiwanese, more equipped with merit of hard working and emotional smarter.
On Tuesday our ordered ssd from taobao arrived. but last mile express, contractor Yuantong express failed to deliver. I buzzed the agent according sms noticement and the man claimed he no longer in the job for days. so I visited local office of the contractor a bus stop away. the small office jammed with parcels. 2 women there helped me find my package after a quarter's scrutiny. Yuantong once had a wonderful service, speedy & well organized, but now seemingly in deconstruction. for its too earlier to fetch my son from his school, I lingered awhile in KFC local franchise, now under PRC native brand. there I found my alipay virtual credit, 花呗, resumes my limit from freeze. I paid a KFC groupon via the payment tool in a blink. that's so exciting even before I went to bed hours later, I still felt shocking satisfaction. I need credit so badly. in next days I wondered what credit is and how it can facilitate my life, I took granted that it only encourages installment. so this month I will equip my son & my own 3 items, woz's new boot, google home mini, and my tea, all in one installment and hopeful year end bonus will pay the bill eventually. God, dad, enlive quality service in American Chinese startup, esp established corporations like dynadot. bring me fruitful usage of credit. bring me my Royal China, my Crown Queen Asoh Yukiko for better management of monetary. grant me constructive credit adoption, and booming business my online portal empowers.

Nov 27, 2017

retrospect last week, it elapsed so peaceful. but in fact I burning for the coming salary which turned out extraordinarily surprising. previously I thought the year end most financially demanding tasks completed with 2 loans from my old hometown relatives, ie my sisters & brother. but suddenly my vpn service informed me renewal due in couple days, exactly Nov 22. while recently my salary released usually on 19th monthly. so I took it easily. from 19th, Sunday, I looked out hopefully descending of salary till 22rd, Wednesday. everyday I prayed for solution. it was a sunny noon on 22rd Nov, 2017, I gave up canteen lunch and hope my last salvage. but it didn't. then I sought out with blessing resolution for dorm canteen's loan. they didn't refuse my appeal, offer ￥1000 at once. with it I immediately deposited in my icbc credit account. CCP surveillance blocked my trading attempts for a quarter, then went smoothly. my paypal strangely refused my payment, claiming verification failure. so I ditched it and paid via alipay, a mainstream electronic financial tool in PRC. my vpn vendor listed under its transaction log in alipay. might be that's what PRC surveillance demands in defying of my paypal which done last year perfectly. then most wanted salary release notification sms arrived: with year end bonus, I got 4420 CNY. I had previously doubted many times my budget & salary supporting gap, and thought I will save my purchase from returning less to bank credit, which already warned me insufficient pay back & possible sue over me. the main coming bill is my son's desktop os, ubuntu on a ssd usb drive, and gift sending to my nephew whose first child, a daughter just born. I had already refrained from gifting his wedding ceremony nearly year ago. so this time my congratulation really due to manifest. they both costs ￥300. with the powerful salary, I maintained last month pay back standard, 500 CNY each for ccb & psbc credit debt, while clear all my due liability among bills active in life, except debt to canteen loan adds more hundreds. but in the afternoon, when I handed over ￥1700 including 200 to pay a woman staff there for my laundry, the canteen operative woman and her husband accepted without complains. God, dad, what a wonderful moment after so many neck breaking anticipation! in the night I informed my son online the clearance of bills and claimed only left unfinished is donation annually to poor kids in China mountainous area, and bbn bible radio. but now, I want more: equipping my son woz a pair of new winter shoes to replace his wrecked one, and my tea deficit for months. my son's programming lesson arranged by his mom stepping in, my preparing his desktop environment is portable os on ssd udisk hopefully running on hardware of his old dell notebook and intel nuc in his lounge. dad God, let my son adopt my suggestion, first step to master typing via training tools from chrome store on his chromebook. grant me helpful and his prompt execution for remaining aid from powerful google & online courseware. I have almost no more debt in his education, nor in my online business, our portal for Royal China and democracy of China progressive. God dad, grant me another surge of spacious budget for renew our domains year end, nearly 15 domains left. grant us happier lunar new year, and Christmas 2017. thx for this clueless post in firm hint of publish in rest of recent elation.