a month really hot inside.

Nov 20 ,2020

dreamed first my 2 families, one replaced me with another man without my opposition. then i saw aside the downgrade of living standards. then dreamed i with my current QRRS colleagues waiting in a departmental gathering. the meeting ruined for the host disrespected us. then rumors spread that our leader all year received the host's free dining coupon in exchange for independence of news cover, as we are a media organization. this very common nowadays in China: paid reports in fact manipulated propaganda, rendering large scale news industry rootless & die speechlessly. like CCP while it was ambitiously promoting national credit system, recording common people's small amount money debt, or forced people involuntarily paid for being innocence. u can say individual steals social institutions, or whatever, the core the same: CCP systematically removing its counterparts, let the society paralyzed. its only interest is robbing corporate China for its army. now It's a sunny morning. dear God dad, this morning really cozy in quilt, except drive to blog. I didn't miss task, Holy, now let me enjoy my meal & routine.

Nov 17 ,2020

recent 2 days a bit chiller, still it's a surprise this dawn. i fought pains to put on myself, for my work, for my main meal 2 hours later. in dawn lingering dream, my 2nd elder brother gathered some of his pals as well as relatives to treat his son's loath of woman. we ate inner organs of animals, and I felt the tissue is delicious. then dream CCP tried all means to let its credit system hurt me, for I spend against their limitation attempts put on me, turning any normal debt into credit war. they nowadays punishing alipay for it granted my virtual credit by delayed its IPO. in past week, I wrote a lot in my alumnus weixun group, expressed my admire for a girl alumnus now in USA. a bad guy of my alumnus attempted to profane me, I defended hardly, with glory of my ancestor. in the days, I saw clearer that my emotional life was as pale as a piece of paper, I desperate for love. but not all disappointing: last night i dialed my beloved alumnus, Wangyf, who refused my messages for decade in my siege of love dance of words, she picked up even my phone number possible clearly show my area location. she seemingly wightened by doubts, and hanged after my twice insisted declared first my name. dear God DAD, I'm so proud of her. she is a tall girl in our campus. another girl now in USA, May lee, also refused talk to me after exchanged 3 or more sentences. I mean to have them, for we don't have affair but deep cares, for better life and soul partnership. It's a new week now, dear God dad, improve my painful hands now, let my life easier & enjoyable. let my meal budget spacious. dear God, my life has been so gracious. thanks Holy Spirit.

Nov 1 ,2020

this morning failing PRC surveillance abrupt disabled my secure connection & forced me to change password. in the dawn, i dreamed my passed dad helps me design office, likely my once QRRS colleagues'. then dreamed my passed mom trusted me to clean my kid brother's hairs from bugs. yesterday I felt loneliness after settled in dorm. i got showered in public spa where i satisfied by the mopping worker and i bought him a bottle of juice. on way back i bought some oranges & shared with a restaurant, dorm guard woman, a young man in the dorm. recently I like to share my food with others, for that makes me happier. as Royal China, my most important thing is dealing respects, respect holy, respect common people. and that's why CCP & it's dog so hated my kindness. dearest God dad, my most relied hand, these 2 days more or less senseless. help improve my hands, dear God, let my life easier.

Oct 30 ,2020

this morning I first time loathed to get up & back to quilt twice. i dreamed my quilt like a checker, when chill, its board is cotton or wood, when hot its marble or some cold material. recently I naturally drove to display more of my merits to women around and sometimes I guess it hurts, for they mostly too old to have a new life. I also felt painful when saw failing managers among restaurant or supermarket i haunted. incompetent persons, esp on key position usually decides the future of the business while I saw too much PRC traditional culture disabling good development of a business, esp smothering creativeness, disappointing customers. I also tried to cheer up dorm administrative team by offering 2 women tin coffee I bought from my unpleasant supermarket adventure a bus stop away where a dog guard refuted my suggestion that checkout too busy to satisfy, which a bit leading consuming in nowadays China just covered by basic needs after USA helped it with flood of currency blood & technology as muscular flesh during its open policy for more than 2 decades. the accountant woman, still capable of birth, likely amazed by my living standard & her body language told me she want more of it. my son's mom also kindly told me my son now has night class lately until 9:50 pm in the prodigy school, and she drove to fetch him routinely. for her tiny figure, her endeavor is quite gracious & I was touched. next Saturday my son will visit my dorm after the stormy emotional dispute my son with me upon his too busy to carefully handling intelligent gears I equipped him. dear God, It's a hip-shoot post, for my web site again ruined by PRC surveillance hired zombie hacker & i just restored it. dear dad God, let the kindle burning till dark dictation in China extinguished & google re-enter China and my Empire of China of 1109 years life shines in holy sunshine. dear God, let me sit on the sinking PRC.

Oct 24 ,2020

this week most exciting thing is improved salary, even a mean restaurant female acquaintance guessed it's due to heat subsidiary included. with it, I well reinforced my workspace with renewals, credit refills, etc. boosted by the saint aid, I video chatted with my hometown junior middle school classmates to express my gratitude, appreciation of their life so far persistent against perishment & shabbiness, not like a blind chaser of mine, now a deputy professor in northwest China now barely cope with his living standard. one of them, once always shown best of him with jokes now millionaire, with 3 growing-up children & confident in himself even more. i also paid back quite some debter of mine. i treated myself & my son nice dinners. recently i turned opener & more talkative among my frequent restaurants, spoke out my situation, esp my extraordinary aging body, my concern of CCP surveillance upon me years. I pray God it's affordable to befriend them there. the new Japanese heating blanket soon lets my leg stronger, eases my pains & resumes my body's flexibility in a sensible warm way. passed week also saw failing PRC surveillance hardly afford their failure to sink my web site, yesterday they using their old dirty skill to let my site down, even my web app is newest version. I restored it all the morning. God's mercy, I afford it. dear God, in several days, I will have a itch killer rack, 2 larger capable udisks for portable storage, at hand, as long planned but unable to carry out, God dad, how i felt satisfying! in this golden morning, I will soon launch & shower. I see your promised, dad God, i saw your promise filled, esp my anxiety upon my workable road toward my destiny so far. dear God dad, let's move on.

Oct 16 ,2020

yesterday I managed to equip myself another heating blanket after found first one failed to save my wet bedclothes. dorm canteen & my 2nd elder sister helps. in the night I a bit harder to sleep for the great new gear of Japanese brand but finally slept & felt considerably warm & dry in dawn. in dawn dream, I was passing QRRS, the SOE employed me for more than 2 decades, & passing crowd to my dorm, but it turns out my hometown home, my parents' house, where my dad received me among folks & told me my mom just passed by. in fact, my dad passed before my mom's. when I tried to perceive what an emotion upon my lose of my mom, I abrupt informed my mom & dad's memory pack cataloged under ding & dang title, say /system/ding, or etc a fork of a porting system. the dream chased me to blog, so my rest of sleep ruined even I loathed to get up. dear God, last night my son & i enjoyed peace. he seemingly glad I ordered him Mcdonald deliver which was a bit late for I not sure if It blissful during my hard financial time. dear God dad, in this sunny morning, I left no regret upon my life. my site under attack again, likely PRC surveillance blacklist my server ip & let it inaccessible, no, after a busy morning correcting & testing, inc online proxy, in fact, it was dog first time changed their target from my database to web app's script, aiming sink my site's serving, now that database maintenance would be easier, they don't know stealth & robbery doomed to fail, like hooligan CCP & PRC abnormal after bitchy Marxism ghost fading the world in cheap & devastating Muslim, manifesting how cheap & how human spices different graciously. dear God, lessen my anxious upon it, let my new family more sensible.

Oct 13 ,2020

it's the first nigh in this coming winter that heat serving. I dreamed new era where all gear & content you consuming can rent & pick up again from breakup. I saw my son enter his university & I equip his new pad with his pals. the running database must very large, for any second u laid aside your music or video, when u served by the era, u can seamlessly enjoy your stream. the dream so lavish that I loathed to get up nor describe it. PRC surveillance hired zombie hacker again break my site, even I felt well armed with what I equipped. last night I hesitated if buzz my son, in final rush, I called & briefly express nightly bliss & exit. dear God, lessen my chore on my sites, let them stronger & automony. I saw it's a sunny morning but now it's pal. I will carry this merry mode for the day. thx, holy.

even in dark winter and dry northeastern China, bliss no less upon US.

Dec 15, 2018

dreamt my passed mom rescue my education again. she visited my enhancement class and entrusted me not gave up. my sinful cousin, ie first grandson of my grandpa, also appeared among parents of high education seekers. my mother prayed for my higher education so hard that I touched and started focusing, standing firm among those preparing university entrance exam national wide. later I haunted zoo where I returned with missing. I queried the attenders for some animal, say dolphin, the crew told me I should visit next area in the zoo. I retreated. yesterday I first time gave up gazing my favorite woman dancer in open space of QRRS plaza. one of the dancer among the public exercising team shew contempt last dusk and let me wonder consequence of local mafia's interference, including the world largest mafia, CCP. when I passed them before the music whipping the dance, I heard some of them laughed loudly, apparently tried to attract me. when I returned my dorm, the facing room again half open their door, indicating their threat of break-in of my dorm under PRC surveillance cooperation. in the night the surveillance desperately booted up to interact with me, meddling my episode watching and youtube night news stream. in boring of the total control of my web traffic through China telecom gateway, I tried to reach out my contacts on my mobile, till sms one of my Univ. alumni with good wish. near bedtime ie. soon after 10pm, the state agent on upper floor again gathered to gabble, their noise likely amplified to echo in my room, desperately aiming to intercept my routine and mindset. they are rats lair before flood, cling anything might evade ruin or elimination. like dying CCP or the tyrant in nowadays PRC, their race before fate wipes them from their root timed and doomed, since their improper disability and hatred toward people of China, the peaceful tribe. God dad, rip me sooner poisoned PRC surveillance against my sanity. secure my work space in brilliant sunrise. if it means killing, let me annihilate enemies of my Empire of China from my ancestor, let me cleanse the lice of bloodsucking, thief of intelligence, hooligan of mob and violence in gracious blessing Christian universe. save my world before ruin, survive my people in global food crisis. grant us happy weekend tomorrow, grant me another meal daily. thx dad God, in this anxious free December morning.

Dec 8, 2018

dreamt a guy likely my once colleague, Xu, accompanied me to tour his campus. it's likely a privileged university, say Peking Univ. or Tsinghua Univ. he then showered in a jammed basement spa, where a sophomore just locked in mistakenly a night. after shower he let barber there to haircut but the latter refused, for his hair style always short and straight like me, and lately refurbished so no need to do it again. then they two rode bike through the hill roads in the campus, trying joining a volleyball team there playing. the guy's girlfriend ran into and stayed awhile with the guy. yesterday meant much for me, for my first Japanese sabot arrived. PRC surveillance obviously meddled, first delayed logistics several days after the taobao vendor handover. when I buzzed the vendor, she checked it and claimed the goods ran short and asked my permission for a replacement. she replied lately and trying avoid my contacting. after second deliver, it costs a week to fulfill, much longer than usual. even arrived Harbin, our provincial capital, it took more than 2 days to reach me when should in day. but after all, it satisfies me. I put on as soon as unbox, and ditched PRC plastic product I bought online several months ago and wrecked recent weeks. the toilet room near my dorm frequently heavily messed by blue collar workers around, and heavy dirt on ground with dirty water, now I wouldn't afraid it, for the sabot has less contacting surface on its bottom, less likely got stained in the tentatively hate drove fouled open space, likes total PRC under hooligan CCP monopoly. my socks didn't have 2 toes, so I ordered a new set from taobao.com copes it. seemingly the wooden sabot not so cold indoor and hopefully new socks will put my feet in comfort. last dusk also rewarding me. I found spices coupon dispatched by my once employer, QRRS, due to expired next Monday, I launched at once to shift it to my son. I met him when he leaving his middle school. I handover coupon, pocket money, OS patch on portable storage, kissed his cheek and left. in the night after contacted him I booked 2 dining out for coming seasonal holiday, a buffet and a Japanese cuisine. I also settled monthly cinema next next weekend. on night before yesterday I buzzed my hometown nephew and his dad, exchanged view and briefed recent changes, urged the young man to seek learning in cyberspace. the kindness driven by gratefulness my concerned women left me around. I appreciate so much for fullness in my life entering late half. they left my waist painful in the night and I pray cure in thanksgiving. God dad, my new socks arrive hours later. grant us financial Independence. grant me another meal daily, or complementary some bread daily. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. in these 2 one meal a day weeks, thx for hunger didn't pester me. grant me meanings in my starvation. survive me and my world in the global crisis of food shortage.

Nov 29, 2018

dreamt first at hometown where a wedding ceremony underwent. then found it was my marriage. there are many traditional protocol in ceremony. the cousin, ie. the first son of my dad's elder brother, and his mom, who long time envied my family's luck, meddled in traditional practices with their evil intention. in the end, our tribe entrusted to train ourselves for ethnic war and fatal adversity. then dreamt Elon Musk, with his father, both successful entrepreneur. I wondered why them driven to be so diligent even overactive. then lengthily a dream about family affair at hometown but I forgot it now after late sleep. QRRS, my once long time employer, dispatching its annual rice coupon, I was informed by departmental cashier last dusk to fetch this morning. so I at once went over to fetch it. the refurbished HQ of the SOE has a gorgeous ground hall in which sunny and spacious. with this coupon my weekend reunion with my son will be glorified. I just broke contract with dorm canteen after its operative family shown despise. I now will hunt for meal everyday and risk penniless every living. I buzzed my younger brother who had been supporting my dorm canteen boarding for 3 years or so, monthly ¥700, about the change, but he yet not offer the aid direct to me after the cancelled mid deal. last night I thought of my financial hardness, my pinched purse which only left less than dozen bucks, and I recognized my support to my son's pocket money in a season, ¥800 remit to his alipay account boosted by last month's exceptional strong salary, near 6000 CNY around thanksgiving holiday, no optional but crisis adopts. my dearest son cares indeed about my empty promise to prepare his monthly pocket money ¥250, but in last year it constantly shift to other usage, say recent 2 purchases of computer. this poor niche now again confronted with premature requisite, left the year-end pale however our web asset renewed with the weighted salary. God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for coming glory. grant us independent finance. rid me sooner off PRC merciless surveillance, insane cheap barking dog around with 24*7 espionage, esp on upper floor where they relentlessly made noise to notify their meddling coincidentally. grant us happy weekend with dine out Mcdonald. thx God in this sunny winter morning when I freed from routine canteen breakfast hussle and totol free agenda like a hunting bee.

every stardust count glories of the Son

Nov 19, 2018

last busy week I achieved lots. I reinstalled 2 OSes on new 60GB ssd converted usb; I restored OS on my ZTE mobile and successfully installed Gapps on it. these took me 2 overnight works. on Saturday my son and I enjoyed 'fantastic animals' movie. human love touched me emotionally in the movie. we dined out fish hotpot after cinema. Sunday morning I let my son updated his devices, ie. wintel's first monthly patch in size of 30M since larger version upgrade v.1809, Linux update in size of nearly 90M. my son claimed it was the lightest workload weekend. he enjoyed awhile youtube gaming stream before heading to lunch out with me and later bathing. it was a winter sunny day. I told my son how PRC authority banning idea exchange, banned society history and memories. they want the dictator replace all educator and parenting, only his work instead all jobless adults. I review PRC open policy decades when most needed technology imported from Christian world and greatly enhanced people's life quality while current tyrant disobeys his ruling party's retreat which won it timespace to last its ruling. they forbidden people review nor learning after which otherwise would self-proving the world esp USA saves but not hurt Chinese and China as CCP long time propaganda. they will saw CCP long time delayed China its due pleasure of life, grace of society, by constrained them in cage of war threat but in fact it's hooligan's guild's threat. now PRC tyrant day by day cheating curbing social freedom, like internet business, small business, basic freedom of personal data in their mobiles. they killing civilian with warm water and heating constantly & accelerating. the tyrant most terrifying thing is his jobless and ditched by all his patriots for his improper education. he is in fact a brainless monster.
last Sunday I also saw my son's mom's new family. when my son and I returned from spa to his house, a man received my son's parcel. he likely the stupid woman's choice. I ate some oranges we just bought with my son and let my son open his TV and English program and left. I don't know how devil CCP penetrating my son's life, but God, dad, you know my son preparing to cope with challenge before his throne. God dad, mercy in your Mighty.

Nov 6, 2018

first dreamed ordered some new device. later added another 4 or 6 copies for backup. in dream concerned the report yesterday that some of PRC invested scientific telescope unable to enroll crew to attend or do research in those remote area. PRC reportedly newly open scientific startups stock market in Shanghai. those are all PRC traditional way to do business: heavy money injection, but no human capital, for itself too cheap to be gracious. they long time buying cheap nerd researchers to copycat western military innovations, but none of them ever be normal human, but bitch to defame the sunny world of Christian. loop in their neck hangs too harsh to allow them not to brag their contribution recklessly before condemned to rat race or dying meaninglessly like a smoke.
this month too busy for me to review. we settled new chromebox 3, our second one, with woz on his own tested recovery mood and installed it in his bedroom. I totally rearranged my portable OSes, esp after equipped myself 2 portable devices, ie. usb stick ultrafit and ssd with usb converter case. I deployed 2 redundant Linux against hacking attempts thicker and thicker around, esp on upper floor PRC state intelligent agents non-break surveillance me, sometimes desperately begging interactivity. we also refurnish woz 2 old google devices, nexus 6 and 7 with new custom roms. now their OS both upgraded from original 6 to android 8.1. my son under my guidance gradually familiar with Linux command line.
amid these 2 weeks, I also felt my darkness in aging and loneliness, esp when waiting for visiting my son. we had once reunion weekly upon his mom doesn't at a loss. harsher surveillance around let me sad, the more they felt unable to afford us, the more I felt my destine to replace PRC with my Empire of China under Zhu's. God dad, the turbulence in USA shows more urgent need to tighten migration control, for human always has membrane, we doesn't love anyone, esp those against our belief, our grace. naturally we love our own, our disciplined universe, not a mass of chaos and flies. USA in danger of defining itself. and Chinese does the same nowadays. earth defines blessed, against rootless Arab and Indian. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring me new family, dad, God, when it matters.