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Thursday, January 21, 2010

Sun rerises as normal, but heart never sinks.

last night i treated my baby son and his mom as scheduled, after waiting my girl zhou in vain. she had left my sight for about more than 4 days, in which i sought wilderly. my heart turns hard upon her evading me, my memory fixed on the prime time when she strided in her white short coat and waving so loveable long legs. my girl zhou fiddles me with her hide-and-see, each time when i crying for pains in my heart in missing her, she winked like mirage in seconds just throw me more into her influence, and then dead silence. last night i waited to greet her in front of QRRS HQ as usual, then baby's mom buzzed in. we arranged meeting up under my office, when i waiting in chill on the place she once bought icecream with her colleague and we first eyes' contacted, she in her white coat which inspired me so much, arranged 2 men and a female walked arms in arms just to show me her tricky and naughty. after i gathered with baby son and his mom, after chilled outside for more than a quarter&trembled on the bus stop, the restaurant was full of customers. so i suggested going to my dorm to rest some time. baby there enjoyed a game i just got from web. when we returned to the restaurant, a tall girl with cordial face looked straight into us. she was palled with 2 men and a female. i felt she must has a link with my girl zhou, but i felt my girl should more gifted than her. so i joined the war with the half raw lamb steak at once, with small knife, chopsticks and my own teeth.

after dinner, i hold baby son into the KFC Tiedong franchise, where a cop in uniform lingered there but don't eat but all time roaming, and also peeked when baby son played game on my notebook. when we dined in the restaurant serves fried mutton, a neighbor dog, a mature but young beast tentatively poked baby's head when baby don't eat and let by his mom to change to outer chair and played on the chair. baby son puzzled, but informed by the adversity. i at once told baby that's a dog, and life time task to kill dog, ie, cop, mafia, bureaucracy, for our family in title of zhu. i told baby the dog already dead, and God knows when its corpse disappear on the earth that belongs to us, in God's shine. in daily tweet of yesterday, i assigned the killing to Masheng, to her special force squad to accomplish the slaughter. nothing can lay a touch upon my Royal, the Royal of China as well as God's.

today its the second bright day since the shallow snow last weekends. blood had already spilt over the drought land over-crowded with ants and mice. God, i never enjoy killing except glory drives it aimlessly. killing in ur name is just a cake, funny but not meaningful. the only bright in my heart is my girls, my beloved. in every scent i can sniff, i track the veil and vein from my Queens in my Royal. God, let ur bright forever cover me, cover my heart fully.

below is my daily tweets in this transitinal life:

20/1/2010

dined with baby son&his mom.^last night dined with baby son. a dog behind him tentatively poked baby's head when baby playing on his chair. kill the dog at once&told baby the death. Masheng, let ur special action squad do it, slaughter the dog insulting at once. got up lately after 8am. its again a bright day in brilliant sunshine. posted recent photos.

19/1/2010

dreamed of lunar new year.^dreamed of celebrating lunar new year with my girl, almost sexed but hold for my girl zhou as God lets. Its snowing in dawn, likely since last night but don't cover ground thick.

18/1/2010

busy day with baby's sites. missing my girl zhou again.^got up around 7am&went to office among crowd of QRRSers. fine tuned baby's profile. my girl don't appear in noon break. claimed&fine tuned baby's homepage on google sites in afternoon. gave up till near 5pm. went to receive my girl zhou, but again can't find her. treated myself with beaf pies&mutton soup in a restaurant near office after the monday. all night in dorm reviewing my love with my girl zhou.

17/1/2010

just refined my old blog at 163.com (http://benzillar.blog.163.com ) when last night God recalled it in front. got additional one for the predecided (http://bentchu.blog.163.com ). all done in God's shine.
Masheng, i hope i will marry my girl zhou before the lunar lantern Day. hope u can settle our trip to my hometown, where my folks will witness the glory of my dad and his son. pl join me sooner, as u know.
idle in the morning. launched at office to refined baby's sites, domain setup, Google apps setup, etc. finished after 5pm, then visit the local church&listening the preach. talked to the clerk after it over&expressed thanks. met a girl likely my girl zhou but with hairs reshaped. returned dorm baby let her mom buzzed in. its just so attending God shown. niece also tried to contact me to borrow money for her professional license, but later gave up.



From New Year on new horizon
From New Year on new horizon
From New Year on new horizon
From New Year on new horizon

for picasaweb blocked in China mainland, here parts of the photos hosted domestic.


proud dad and concentrated son.

baby son, warrenzh, whose domain at http://warozhu.com , posed with pride, in my dorm waiting to dine out.

saint moment with white snow and blazing sunshine.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

benzrad's daily tweets suppliements.

17/1/2010
just refined my old blog at 163.com (http://benzillar.blog.163.com ) when last night God recalled it in front. got additional one for the predecided (http://bentchu.blog.163.com ). all done in God's shine.

Masheng, i hope i will marry my girl zhou before the lunar lantern Day. hope u can settle our trip to my hometown, where my folks will witness the glory of my dad and his son. pl just me sooner, as u know.

12/1/2010
a dark night before a bright morning.^last night restlessly. surfed lately on cellphone. stranger haunted in the corridor. broken dreams. fell into sleep lately. woke up near 8am, went to office at once, and finally secured my 2 sim cards with new password after got the default password from the telcom's booth, which out of service for several times due networks failure. its again a bright day. roamed most time in morning, later talk to department director about my life, shown him family album. later he lets me stay in office in afternoon for crew of the information department of QRRS will install Internet access for me. praying God&sing his glory, sing for my ancestor who so attending my call for a well working environment in transit life. my girl zhou likely stayed in office like me, so i don't  see her in rush crowd of QRRS. read awhile ebook, an biography of an prominant Germany philosophist, while waiting QRRS crews come over to install my Internet access.  but they missing, to upset my good will&rent finding. till near 3pm&after the facing evil returned to office, when i left to computer market to buy baby son mouse pad he asked. also bought his mom a keyboard cover she wants. on the bus met a girl with clear eyes. for full of joy, dined just after 4pm&went to greet my girl zhou. shot some photos in the open space in front of QRRS. stood firm as let till the ring of work over. my girl closer to me, but an evil gay tried to mud around. so i walked slow in single, picked up till near my office. the evil again tried to laid dirts, so my girl gave up teaming&left to the road toward the city center. i also walked to dorm, after likely my girl zhou noticed my following. God, what a tender heart my proud fiancee, my girl zhou has, what a blessing my new marriage brings me the most wonderful and beautiful a living soul can be! let me forever thanks for the cares&grants my girl zhou put on me, even before she accept me formally or  publicly. reviewed my love in dorm. around 6:30pm, haunted outside again for my girl zhou, who also under my second wife, my Japanese Princese, Masheng, my Sun, my God's care. 

11/1/2010
promising day, with delayed gospel.^last night went to sleep lately, again tried googling my web id via my cellphon's wap. this morning woke up just after 7am, with an inner open eyes for gathering with my girl zhou. washed head after got up. it would be another great day, with brilliant sunshine. went to office after 7:30am, check e-bible for last night preach i heard. roamed in office, waiting corporate lan, with which the department dirctor said had applied&in process, wired. greet my girl, who today wears a grey fur-alike coat, and likely in low mood when she returned to QRRS, covers her head with the cap on the coat. the dogs in office closely peeked me, twice when i salute my girl zhou passing by my office. i later doubting sweat or bitter our love is lasting today. God lets me not to suffer but enjoy the delayed deep hog&breath into each other between my girl zhou&me. evil of gays in the offices&around unfold themselves in front of me, God lets me informed. returned to dorm after 3pm, dozed at once on bed for half of an hour. dined earlier to greet my girl zhou. but she with her colleague evaded me tentatively. after i followed her again, she stopped in the display panels of the QRRS labor union, likely waiting me to chat her. i stood firm, then my girl zhou sheered backward to QRRS, i pray for God, then moved ahead continuingly without companion. my girl zhou picked the other side of the road my first time followed her, we likely both knew we cared each other on the different side of one road leading to the suburb of Qiqihar. in dorm reviewed my love, praying for less pains. then join the nearby Christian church, but on week day they don't preach, but just God believers' praying there. but i met the clerk last night preached, chatted with him&another woman cadre about my faith. returned to dorm review my love with my girl zhou, talk with her in heart. roamed outside again in aim to seek my cared lover. admired restaurant lingers on the way, so join one to dine again for warmth of gathering&dinner those group seekers shown, esp common among QRRSers. God, i never lose confidence that u r leading my girl zhou, who is just rightly tender&attending, as much virtue as i admire, to my arms. i never lose confidence that my girl trusts me and loves me. i hope we soon forged into one, one family with one soul like the bible grants.

10/1/2010
a great non-break day for hope ahead.^last night buzzed hometown about my departing from baby's mother's house, and my new marriage in view. this morning full of mixing desire for new life with my girl zhou let me woke up early, with burning craving for family life. went to office update sites' sidebar to include family most namespaces as scheduled since 8am to 2:30pm, without break or lunch. all done, and such a relief. treat myself with pies&meat in a restaurant on way to dorm. also posted a blog entry with recent photos to celebrating the new year of 2010, which carries so many wishlist of mine on new life with my girl zhou. Its all time a bright day, even when i busy in office i sheltered the sunshine when it bother my work on my dimmer notebook screen. can't wait for gathering with my girl zhou in every chance. roamed after dinner, join the nearby Christian church, first time listened a preach&greatly enchanted. reviewed my love in my girl zhou, felt touched&praying God instill brave&glory in us. missing my girl very much.