a month really hot inside.

Nov 20 ,2020

dreamed first my 2 families, one replaced me with another man without my opposition. then i saw aside the downgrade of living standards. then dreamed i with my current QRRS colleagues waiting in a departmental gathering. the meeting ruined for the host disrespected us. then rumors spread that our leader all year received the host's free dining coupon in exchange for independence of news cover, as we are a media organization. this very common nowadays in China: paid reports in fact manipulated propaganda, rendering large scale news industry rootless & die speechlessly. like CCP while it was ambitiously promoting national credit system, recording common people's small amount money debt, or forced people involuntarily paid for being innocence. u can say individual steals social institutions, or whatever, the core the same: CCP systematically removing its counterparts, let the society paralyzed. its only interest is robbing corporate China for its army. now It's a sunny morning. dear God dad, this morning really cozy in quilt, except drive to blog. I didn't miss task, Holy, now let me enjoy my meal & routine.

Nov 17 ,2020

recent 2 days a bit chiller, still it's a surprise this dawn. i fought pains to put on myself, for my work, for my main meal 2 hours later. in dawn lingering dream, my 2nd elder brother gathered some of his pals as well as relatives to treat his son's loath of woman. we ate inner organs of animals, and I felt the tissue is delicious. then dream CCP tried all means to let its credit system hurt me, for I spend against their limitation attempts put on me, turning any normal debt into credit war. they nowadays punishing alipay for it granted my virtual credit by delayed its IPO. in past week, I wrote a lot in my alumnus weixun group, expressed my admire for a girl alumnus now in USA. a bad guy of my alumnus attempted to profane me, I defended hardly, with glory of my ancestor. in the days, I saw clearer that my emotional life was as pale as a piece of paper, I desperate for love. but not all disappointing: last night i dialed my beloved alumnus, Wangyf, who refused my messages for decade in my siege of love dance of words, she picked up even my phone number possible clearly show my area location. she seemingly wightened by doubts, and hanged after my twice insisted declared first my name. dear God DAD, I'm so proud of her. she is a tall girl in our campus. another girl now in USA, May lee, also refused talk to me after exchanged 3 or more sentences. I mean to have them, for we don't have affair but deep cares, for better life and soul partnership. It's a new week now, dear God dad, improve my painful hands now, let my life easier & enjoyable. let my meal budget spacious. dear God, my life has been so gracious. thanks Holy Spirit.

Nov 1 ,2020

this morning failing PRC surveillance abrupt disabled my secure connection & forced me to change password. in the dawn, i dreamed my passed dad helps me design office, likely my once QRRS colleagues'. then dreamed my passed mom trusted me to clean my kid brother's hairs from bugs. yesterday I felt loneliness after settled in dorm. i got showered in public spa where i satisfied by the mopping worker and i bought him a bottle of juice. on way back i bought some oranges & shared with a restaurant, dorm guard woman, a young man in the dorm. recently I like to share my food with others, for that makes me happier. as Royal China, my most important thing is dealing respects, respect holy, respect common people. and that's why CCP & it's dog so hated my kindness. dearest God dad, my most relied hand, these 2 days more or less senseless. help improve my hands, dear God, let my life easier.

Oct 30 ,2020

this morning I first time loathed to get up & back to quilt twice. i dreamed my quilt like a checker, when chill, its board is cotton or wood, when hot its marble or some cold material. recently I naturally drove to display more of my merits to women around and sometimes I guess it hurts, for they mostly too old to have a new life. I also felt painful when saw failing managers among restaurant or supermarket i haunted. incompetent persons, esp on key position usually decides the future of the business while I saw too much PRC traditional culture disabling good development of a business, esp smothering creativeness, disappointing customers. I also tried to cheer up dorm administrative team by offering 2 women tin coffee I bought from my unpleasant supermarket adventure a bus stop away where a dog guard refuted my suggestion that checkout too busy to satisfy, which a bit leading consuming in nowadays China just covered by basic needs after USA helped it with flood of currency blood & technology as muscular flesh during its open policy for more than 2 decades. the accountant woman, still capable of birth, likely amazed by my living standard & her body language told me she want more of it. my son's mom also kindly told me my son now has night class lately until 9:50 pm in the prodigy school, and she drove to fetch him routinely. for her tiny figure, her endeavor is quite gracious & I was touched. next Saturday my son will visit my dorm after the stormy emotional dispute my son with me upon his too busy to carefully handling intelligent gears I equipped him. dear God, It's a hip-shoot post, for my web site again ruined by PRC surveillance hired zombie hacker & i just restored it. dear dad God, let the kindle burning till dark dictation in China extinguished & google re-enter China and my Empire of China of 1109 years life shines in holy sunshine. dear God, let me sit on the sinking PRC.

Oct 24 ,2020

this week most exciting thing is improved salary, even a mean restaurant female acquaintance guessed it's due to heat subsidiary included. with it, I well reinforced my workspace with renewals, credit refills, etc. boosted by the saint aid, I video chatted with my hometown junior middle school classmates to express my gratitude, appreciation of their life so far persistent against perishment & shabbiness, not like a blind chaser of mine, now a deputy professor in northwest China now barely cope with his living standard. one of them, once always shown best of him with jokes now millionaire, with 3 growing-up children & confident in himself even more. i also paid back quite some debter of mine. i treated myself & my son nice dinners. recently i turned opener & more talkative among my frequent restaurants, spoke out my situation, esp my extraordinary aging body, my concern of CCP surveillance upon me years. I pray God it's affordable to befriend them there. the new Japanese heating blanket soon lets my leg stronger, eases my pains & resumes my body's flexibility in a sensible warm way. passed week also saw failing PRC surveillance hardly afford their failure to sink my web site, yesterday they using their old dirty skill to let my site down, even my web app is newest version. I restored it all the morning. God's mercy, I afford it. dear God, in several days, I will have a itch killer rack, 2 larger capable udisks for portable storage, at hand, as long planned but unable to carry out, God dad, how i felt satisfying! in this golden morning, I will soon launch & shower. I see your promised, dad God, i saw your promise filled, esp my anxiety upon my workable road toward my destiny so far. dear God dad, let's move on.

Oct 16 ,2020

yesterday I managed to equip myself another heating blanket after found first one failed to save my wet bedclothes. dorm canteen & my 2nd elder sister helps. in the night I a bit harder to sleep for the great new gear of Japanese brand but finally slept & felt considerably warm & dry in dawn. in dawn dream, I was passing QRRS, the SOE employed me for more than 2 decades, & passing crowd to my dorm, but it turns out my hometown home, my parents' house, where my dad received me among folks & told me my mom just passed by. in fact, my dad passed before my mom's. when I tried to perceive what an emotion upon my lose of my mom, I abrupt informed my mom & dad's memory pack cataloged under ding & dang title, say /system/ding, or etc a fork of a porting system. the dream chased me to blog, so my rest of sleep ruined even I loathed to get up. dear God, last night my son & i enjoyed peace. he seemingly glad I ordered him Mcdonald deliver which was a bit late for I not sure if It blissful during my hard financial time. dear God dad, in this sunny morning, I left no regret upon my life. my site under attack again, likely PRC surveillance blacklist my server ip & let it inaccessible, no, after a busy morning correcting & testing, inc online proxy, in fact, it was dog first time changed their target from my database to web app's script, aiming sink my site's serving, now that database maintenance would be easier, they don't know stealth & robbery doomed to fail, like hooligan CCP & PRC abnormal after bitchy Marxism ghost fading the world in cheap & devastating Muslim, manifesting how cheap & how human spices different graciously. dear God, lessen my anxious upon it, let my new family more sensible.

Oct 13 ,2020

it's the first nigh in this coming winter that heat serving. I dreamed new era where all gear & content you consuming can rent & pick up again from breakup. I saw my son enter his university & I equip his new pad with his pals. the running database must very large, for any second u laid aside your music or video, when u served by the era, u can seamlessly enjoy your stream. the dream so lavish that I loathed to get up nor describe it. PRC surveillance hired zombie hacker again break my site, even I felt well armed with what I equipped. last night I hesitated if buzz my son, in final rush, I called & briefly express nightly bliss & exit. dear God, lessen my chore on my sites, let them stronger & automony. I saw it's a sunny morning but now it's pal. I will carry this merry mode for the day. thx, holy.