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Tuesday, December 15, 2015

now my workload empowered with intel nuc.


1st post on my new intel nuc. recent bare expectations almost all settled, after relentless checking package status from website and dorm reception desk. last Sunday my shower water a bit cool and almost let me get cold. So I decided change my old woolen sweater after a sweating night and restored health. the new clothes were bought from amazon after my wrest too painful to stand straight and doubting what's wrong with me or my clothes. new under clothes very fit and functional, even thin as it is. my nephew, who operates a clothing shop at taobao.com, sent me some clothes, but the parcel was cut half a large opening when it arrives me, don't know if nor how many items stolen. the express service might hijacked by a midaged man I got known. I first attracted by his wit comment upon huge heap of Chinese holiday parcels, then found he alcohol additive. then found him holding my parcel and delayed, I complained to amazon. he soon informed and buzzed in threatened me with referred my once workplace pals in QRRS, unveil historical hate and grudge. he then bumped into my dorm room attempting intimidate me. this time he torn my parcel is obvious clue the hate even acid and dangerous. I hope the ill patient soon find himself home if he treats his work so badly. this week also saw 3rd shoes I bought from amazon US fits my son well and he enjoys it.after 2 previously wrong sized and kept in my stock. his lounge smart TV, powered with windows 10, also at his disposal. after all these wonderful gifts my debt to bank ammounts to ¥60,000. I looking forward year end bonus ceases awhile urgence and ready my family expenses spaciously. this dawn dreamt with my Huanggang senior middle school alumni, Wanglewen, leaving my hometown Zhudajiu. someone likely deceased in the village and on way we met monsters, bestility. the latter likely echo of a report on Chinese girl graduates likes web erotic literature. after made water and noted my dream, I returned to bed and dreamt mostly with my son, we likely trying test something. last night was snowing. in the dusk I visited my son with KFC, with his parcel, 3 thick Japanese woolen sock for his boots without inner fur. the grandma claimed without fur it should be cold, so I equipped him with the expensive socks to make use of new boots as soon as possible. when he returned from his swim lesson, I accompanied him ate KFC and unpack socks, then I returned to my dorm in the white world. God, dad, here I pray coming year end, including the month, allow me returning more my credit deficit. grant us a smooth holiday travel to my kid brother's house in southern China. grant us full power of credit to harness up. bring me sooner my Royal China, my crowned Qureen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring me my girls and our offspring graciously.


dreamt chasing a girl Japanese graduate. later I met her in supermarket, where we found common topics. when she found her lost socks appeared in other 3 Chinese bucket, a parent and his son-in-law, the Japanese girl weeped. I hold her tight and made clear the stealth. when we left, our hearts fulfilled with love. I had to get up to blog the dream, near 7 Am. Yesterday was a great day. amazon surprised me in 2 or 3 days delivered a Led TV I ordered to woz's house. I settled it yesterday, with son's cooperation during installation. It works perfectly with intel nuc, new vpn my family adopted also works steadily. in dusk, my youngest sister and brother both buzzed me. my sister now caring her 1st son and daughter-in-law after her grandson born recently, offered me another ¥1000. my brother dropped to see if I need more clothes against winter chill. I told my sister how her children strongly blessed, urged her measure merits more valued than fast rich. I also disclosed my wrest painful in past week and I tried to fix it by bought myself new looser woolen pants. last Saturday I brought my son watched 3d movie, "SpongeBob SquarePants", its a great relax for son, woz, who loves icecream, popcorn and formosa dinner through the cinema. after replaced trousers my wrest pains dilated, I lunched again in Taiwanese cuisine restaurant with woz as Sunday lunch. I tried pc game even not so energetic, and made progress indeed. woz prepared his homework, paintings for new year's day. when I returned my dorm, his new boots, pants we ordered on amazon US, arrived, after so many weeks we expected. today he will open the parcels and cheer up. that's how today, Dec 7 starts a blog about my Crowned Queen from Japan, the love still warm after I got up. in doze again near 7am, dreamt my oldest niece treated me in Zhudajiu, our hometown village, with her pocket money and chicken of free range. dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China to host my girls, my children so beautifully gifted. grant us joyful life we enjoyed so far. in coming salary helps me return credit more and capable. thx silent moment in this dawn when I mistaken 6am as 7am.
Photo Description: woz, dearest son's homework painting celebrating new year 2016. he painted his proud dad with badge in it.


new spending for consolidating warehouse. in 2nd snow in Qiqihar 2015, thanksgiving mood allows me executed due task, purchase longest term of ownership over zhone 18 domains. last month renewal partially extended but due insufficient finance anxiousness, this time closes up the regret in the beautiful 2015.
visited son at once after the purchase, but found intel nuc yet compatible with old Haier TV, the os, windows 10 definitely working, but video card crashes each time after bios logo appeared. I was exhausted by difficulties in the bug after google the problem. so bought woz a new smart TV from amazon. hopeful it works perfectly with intel nuc as lounge media center.
God, risk of deficit might hurt me, result in my painful neck last week, and now my wrest, which times and times so painful that I can't stand straight right after sitting. grant me healthy lifestyle we enjoy so far. young dogs in the dorm can poison me, sinful woman in son, woz's house can curse me. the insane daughter and her mom, my son's custody now, more and more hateful toward my resist to cohere their cheating and dirty way. the bitch, son's mom, sneered me every time I visiting my son, while her disgusting mom, tried to show me the aspect of carrot. they r in fact couples married, like brothel trap for innocent young man. my civil marriage with the tiny woman no way a chosen, but harsh reaction upon challenging reality in my 33 years old after busy learning and working for living all times mostly setup by enemies of my Royal China.
God, so meaningful 2015 brought about that I never fully grasp ur holy idea. this year means so much for my business here on the planet. save me from debt in coming monthly pay day of my credits. thx the saint snow, dad.
Photo Description: QRRS Dorm's new member, dorm 4th newly built, in 2nd snow of winter 2015. peaceful as it is, substantial attracting in its design and fresh appearance.


boring gift season in China. when napped before visiting my son, dreamt played with a rifle. I missed first fire and mistakenly fired the second bullet, which likely on the target, and dissected the 3rd bullet in harsh to avoid been found at scene. these 2 weeks boring in waiting for my parcels ordered online put me in sadness. the gift season, esp the faked 11.11 by alibaba.com, hijacked most express delivery into paralysis. one of my orders, from amazon China, a day later than its longest scheduled deliver date yet kept me waiting, ie. 5 days it still on way from Beijing to Qiqihar. waiting made me vulnerable, emphasized my tender status depends on trifle pleasure of shopping, like reckless Mideast creatures. in the weeks I napped more and more in the morning to escape meaninglessness. I napped so hard that my neck hurt and painful. I hope the motionless of my pinched life turns again fluid after the suffering weeks. now time to visit my son, woz, Hope of China, my dream can be vivid again under sunshine in the featureless winter.
God, dad, its Black Friday and all its news hurries me to purchase while I hardly affordable. grant us financial plenty to have fun in year end of 2015. grant us smooth holiday, including lunar Spring festival in sight now, when deserves us right mood for new year 2016. bring me sooner my Royal China, my girls in new family, when I still enjoy companions. thx for 2015 we harvested so much!

Monday, November 16, 2015

rare post in snowing night.


1st snow of winter 2015, Qiqihar. this dusk arrives my dorm when I napped in boring. ICBC sms urged me to pay back overdue credit in £5 for my family's localphone bill. I previously received and paid 1000rmb at once hoping it will cleared automatically. I now buzzed the bank's phone service and got known I had to clear 2000rmb more before I can order the bank paying foreign currency after PRC currency. I have only 1000rmb at hand so I sms my kid brother who has a small workshop and has foreign currency in business to help me clear my English debt. his sms arrived during my nap, like his mean style first investigate my usage even such a small amount, £10. I felt tasteless for dorm canteen's dinner after half hour emptily waiting my brother's help, and half way left to withdraw only 1000rmb from PSBC credit to return ICBC. the I jogged routinely. my breath in the winter first time freezed above my lips and kept me wiping. with so lovely pure white world, I felt blessed. after returned to dorm, I read an article about Russian, ie. the Soviet committed large scale rapes on battle field it won and undisclosed. the tyrant, Stalin, even abused his young wife and likely murdered her. that reminds me of gay's attitude toward woman, and long time no sex life results my possible insensitive upon woman's feelings. I recently really upset, even raged by son's mom's frequent scorns and despisement during my weekends visits my son. I felt the woman lack of due violent lessons to be such a bitch. God, reinforce me with merit of respecting women, instill confidence and patience upon my new family anticipated so long, my beloved girls. this night is my blogging rarely not in day time, save me from hopelessness during hard time of financial and emotional. coming year end helps me paying back my credit more on my own, free me from burden of my despicable relatives and alumni. bring me sooner my Royal China and my second child for the future of Empire of China. thx, dad God.
Photo Description: snowing night QRRS front square and training people after work over. 1st snow of winter 2015 not so heavy but next dawn will tells the scale.


dreamt of survival training. in backyard of campus, with my Nankai Univ alumni entered a wasteland when we tried hard to search for water, food and solving puzzles. Chen Xinjian singled out hiding in a shelter and made progress in philosophical readings. a strange classmate used his flag language communicated with a far end mountain and found rescue. a poor elder shitted on my shirt as trick so I had to tolerent him harmlessly. then we found breakthrough to escape the dumpsite and back to dorm area in the campus. then dreamt again trapped and a teacher taught mathematics. gradually I felt hard to follow and asked classmates to help but didn't work. most of alumni have difficulties but some brilliant minds grasping. I felt so frustrated and woke up. these days waiting for my second intel nuc, after successfully installed first one painlessly. I just feel insatiably upon computing portable, and I can make my research double profits with copying first trophy. this one much expensive with more powerful cpu, larger ram and ssd. its price almost triple as the first one, but I hope It rewards me that I can try some old games on it besides heavy office tasks. credit issuer banks friendly didn't warn me of over-withdrawal, likely year end bonus in its anticipation same as mine. with the order I previously shifted my first nuc to my son's usage, shown him how is home building step by step, rather than his mom's pure poverty in decades, when nothing improved in home hospitality, only bare shabby table and stools for her prey likes CCP and PRC's orthodox, esp. its education beauracracy compensated China non-constructive instritution since Open Policy but just for the ruling's teeth and mouth, her class students summoned forth for homework and tutorial with charging years by years. my son's mom's mindset is Islamic: suffering, zero accumulation but scattered predating. their life just means killing for living, never planned, systematically social gathering and distribution, no progressive achievement in pattern learning and integration, this render her tuition always screams scenario like kids. she indeed these years treats my son and me like pupils, scorns, rages, compulsive exiles, etc. unstable emotional and trifle facts, like nowadays Arab on world stage. she is a terrorist indeed, a muslim in guise. with mounting digital gears in 2015, I hopefully taught my son Christian world of accumulative innovation, holy plentiness, and constant building with cherish and self-esteem. God instills mercy among us, urges sustaining before change. God teaches obedience and dignity in every common person. with merit of inheriting, our society grows and enrichs.
God, dad, pl bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain the momentum China gains since Ming Dynasty under my ancestor. bring me new family to cultivate flourish forest. thx for message in this blog, and grant us financial capacity to have a joyful new year within months.


dreamt of aimless. in dawn dream I again lonely dwelt in railway station. 2 women likely proxy there arranging their cargos, mainly clothes, transferring plan, while I tried my best to prepare different plans for versatile future scenarios, like jammed textbooks for exam. these days dreamt less clearer, and sad for burdensome credits.witness so many people enjoy their lives while I brewed as penalty for lifestyle we enjoyed so far, I even felt a bit bitter and unfair. I reached out to a alumna of Nankai Univ but she treated me despicable, promised buzzing me back to let me hang the phone but never hear from her since. I sent her 2 sms later, list my financial data persuading her loan, but never answered. my happy time reuniting my son weekends also under deprivation, his mom tentatively arranged him more activities driving my son away from me.God dad, maybe its time to save expenses for dealing debts to bank but I so much enjoyed expense with aid of credit card hanging out my son.
recent news made me sadder. China should first cover all its citizen social welfare, identified whole society as national object, responsible to care its people's lifetime wellbeings, end separation and enslave of peasants and miniority, which agonized, humiliated and dissolving Chinese society so long, before allow again any couples to have 2 babies, recently modified outlaw to shift from one child prohibition, once and forever empower civilian has full authority over their nature privacy of family. resume freer birth policy just protect bureaucracy's interest to produce more human cattle to feed the greedy predator, who never allow least proper defence of their prey, no freedom of speech, no gun trade, no coordinated gathering. China now in the between of united society in Christian, and wilder predating Arabian in which everyone scattered except their fake God, where killing/torment is a norm and no standard for social unit equal, harmony of caring and love, where hate/fear in everyone against everyone exaggerates turbulent wilder birth rate and male supreme female while ironically the latter weight average there. social dissection catalyizes compete of human weapons, brings far more dangers and wastes among human than necessary, devastated nature resources and renders themselves helpless and self-destructive beasts. only mercy and mutual love confined society in Christian saves human from animal, from climate catastrophe on earth. without obligation for the life of the earth, without obligation of earth of life.
another news about elemental school abuse, frequently occurs in sinking evil PRC, never addressed by state but led me dwell. sinking CCP original from violent mob, and now it turns more harmful toward innocent human lives, including pupils. teachers half as bureaucracy, viciously predating students. the dark of China society sadden any mind independent.God, dad, save China youth against massive brain washing, immersive selfish, aggressive exploits, which even obvious in most Chinese colleges and universities.
dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China, my girls when we able to love and productive. bring peace and warmth in dying Chinese society slipping itself into brutal and bloody muslim.God, no one could save China nowadays except the Son. grant me the authority and the task to extinguish the draining darkness shadowing Chinese society. let Christian ignites torch of model for sinking PRC's following. thx, dad, in this silent morning.


brutal reality in PRC for kind people. what a terror being in China mainland. last night I read news about intel's new product, nuc and attracted. after researched some time, I decided time to equip myself this kind of portable computing device as redundancy. computing power so important for me I never felt enough. within an hour I placed my order for an intel nuc at amazon, during my harder financial time when almost all my credit runs out and income base history unsupportive. with the exciting mood, I read a terrifying story in sinking PRC where the dominating CCP bred: 2 dogs ate out limbs of a woman who trying help a little girl endangered by the dogs at large from near residential area. no one responses for the tragedy, not the baby girl's family nor dogs' owner. the miserable woman hurted so hard she ran out of tears in hospital, upon frozen chill reality in sinful PRC. what I can do to help the poor victim? angers long time gathered in my mind against dog-a-like CCP who since its birth targeting human and people as prey, and only thing they care is shotgun and bullets controlled to disarm and disabled common Chinese. when Obama yarned his failure to ban American people buying guns freely, I laughed the stupid and treator-a-like partisan his ill will never means to strongthen herotic American but the contrast. only weak Chinese prohibits arming themselves against evil, acted like worms and crippled in dust. tools, not human, changes the world on the earth. but some nations, like Chinese in sinking PRC, still in primitive fighting with bare hands and fingernails. they r enslaved by their sinful leader and government like labor ants or bugs neutralized for worn out, left the latter weaponized to teeth and monopolized. dogs in PRC mostly a second weapon for most of richer persons, who mostly insanely hostile to their patriots, neighbors, or citizens counter. those dwarfs competingly admire large and brutal dogs. most terrifying de facto nowadays is disabled news/media utility in society, allow the mob destroyed credit or memories about people's behavior. bad guys not need pay their hurts and killings, good people suffer for their properness and merits. the whole cycle/community darkly doomed, for no sight, no focus, but devastatingly scattered and erectless. the charging hand, CCP, itself a beast, a dog whose only doctrine is meat and corpse. only proof it accepts for their wrongness is their bloody death, their turndown by massive violent outburst. their mindless has to be preyed by mind, by soul which is holy. this dawn I dreamt blew half chest of a heavy nut by planting bomb in it. the bomb successfully clear half room for my usage. some of my once colleagues in QRRS appeared in my dream. when I mindly blogging on bed, the brutal story of the poor kind woman attacked and fatally damaged by loose dogs filled me with sadness and angers upon sinking PRC. the event happened 4 days ago, yet no formal reference in public nor official. CCP usually annually promotes national moral idol, why not this case? for they fear the failure of social enabling, failure of dangerous animals' control, failure of unity of citizen, fear failures harms their fake well-organized social architecture. they fear of frustrations Chinese people gathered in these decades. they fear responsibility and its consequence. God, dad, only Chinese government tried all means to disable its people for maximize its interests. guns only righteous when it used to defend oneself and should defend one's independence forever. dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China to straighten holy way for tormented Chinese. bring my girls and our offspring for the glory ahead. grant me financial plenty to cope my expanding business here. thx, dad.
Photo Description: snack with son, woz, Hope of China, in Qiqihar Supermarket, before join cinema at its 6th floor. we had favorite Taiwanese ice drink. here benzrad, the proud dad, in his son's focus.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

golden leaves leaving branches.


in world without exception. dreamt living among Chinese and foreign friends in western country. all familiar and lack of passionate due the familiarity, inc sex. then in my own house I farewell family and picked a football and left. then played soccer awhile with some kids on square with several footballs. I saw without exceptions the world will turn unenergetic and sedentary. I finally intended leaving behind my football those kids around and went for new and unknown bare hands. the dream likely an echo of recent comment my son, woz said on last Sunday when we failed rip 2 dusts from our newly replaced screen of asus fonepad for touch screen can't maintain intact after opening the sealed case. I said perfectionism led me sad upon the careless mistake, and my son replied, he also an perfectionist. each time I was capable financially to improve my son's living, I presented him the perfect way in time and space.last Sunday when I returned to my QRRS dorm, found his new moto nexus 6 arrived at dorm gate, I didn't hesitate and took a taxi to dispatch the gift to him immediately without a break in my dorm. I know he deserves perfect service, and surprise to enlighten the day. whatever the world more and more turns planned, surprise is efforts to pursue and inspiring to achieve. God, I know guaranteed barrier-breaking ahead, still I feel burdensome in my credit overdrawn. I know lots of testimonies ahead to train me, to manifest the chosen, but God, I pray here no matter how hard, joy of living baptises me plenty. I didn't anticipate war, I didn't anticipate torment, I didn't anticipate of destruction massively, just keep fun of living, run love in soil and root. dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China, bring google service here. bring delicacy I still enjoy. grant me more offspring, grant me new marriage. thx dad God, in this overnight rain and sunny morning.


dreamt of hidden state surveillance. dreamt of process of joining KFC franchise, which I occasionally read it from a KFC notebook in son, woz's mom's house when I accompany him writing his homework. quite some students there ate the fast food.I contacted 3 managers of the franchise. two of them, both woman, led me to another franchise where just preparing opening. from an erotic book I got know hidden surveillance from PRC government. with borrowed scanner I saw our family documents issued by government shows "unauthorized" tag under some classification. with the hidden separation in national document we can't buy largest KFC food bundle. but among those kid students, and in the newly opening franchise a tall woman lend us her document to buy ourselves largest KFC bundle. its a boring national day holiday in PRC now. I had to eat one meal a day in the week long holiday. Chinese holiday mostly borrowed from western Culture, esp Christian, but they didn't arrange holiday according week, the fixed circle among other time periods, like month, year, season, etc, but gathered and shift into an exceptional lengthy absence from routine life.Chinese in PRC hate ordinary life, they always anticipate selfish survival of world catastrophe in each family closed celebration to eliminates their rivals from disorient of united world. as to me I dislike Chinese holiday very much, and doomed it to change. but to my son, woz, he likes every chance to be free of schooling. we made progresses among pad games and pc games we loved. I especially glad won some hard battles in video games blocking so far. I also purchased first time last night on steam platform, for woz's favorite game he called it his golden time. my 2nd elder sister loaned me another ¥1000 which quite helping me fix shortage of credit after over-withdrawal. heat system switching from QRRS enterprise to municipal utility reportedly testing to run today. I already equipped my dorm with dehumidifier and works fine. God, dad, my credit already mostly turned debts unchangeable, pl grant us freedom to enjoy credit card as usual. coming months I have to pay our diamond domains, grant us financial support to maintain our cyberspace infrastructure. bring me sooner my Royal China to allow me feed my offspring, future princesses and princes, for the even greater prospective. dad, let our year end rich and meaningful.


dreamt of crossing fire. its a sunny Monday morning after my first relaxing PRC national day holiday since divorce my only civil marriage. for PRC mainstream likes escaping from routine and celebrating their tiny world's salvage through gathering weekends with holiday mostly imported from Christian to longest period to deny normal job as well as service mutual benefits.then I mostly out of meals and have to cost more to eat restaurant. 2015 PRC national holiday I usually ate a meal a day, but every meal I tried my best to treat my son, woz and myself a banquet. we also invited woz's mom once to dine together for the grouponed banquet rich enough for 3 people or more. she more or less at a loss upon the delicacy we enjoyed. then she gradually turned hostile against my dining out with son. last Saturday dusk I visited my son in drizzle. my broken shoes wet and I asked my son's mom to find me another shoes still stored in her house since our breakup step by step. she retorted I was not up to talk to her. the dinner with my son in a Korean cuisine restaurant in downtown turns gloomy. woz ate less, complained I picked him pork disgusting. when we returned his mom's house, all my shoes singled out and the woman demanded I brought them with me in my dorm. during the dinner I decided to soften my tongue lest crisis the relentlessly aggressive woman seeks, so I asked her allow till my situation improved, esp current dorm too humid. she glad to hear that and in the night she consulted me twice upon national ID card, removing my role in residential book. My assertion my independent living standard let her relieved, she wanted to assure she didn't burden extra losts in once marriage for a new marriage she and her mother must engaged for years and now almost forged. the night I watched my son fought in his favorite video game, "Teenage Mutant Turtle Ninja" I just bought him from steam platform costs near $15, unstoppable in chapters. his mom got her wanted and sad and blow lots of nose. I fetched 4 pairs of shes to my dorm in drizzle by bus. God not allows me too weak upon the demanding woman's intimidation after. the night I dreamt flying again, much confident and higher capacity of load, and helping other young people to fly. Sunday morning I made proud progress in my game, "sniper elite:Nazi army". my son partially on his pad aside me. when I led my son preparing shower pack as usual, his mom attempted interfering. she acclaimed son's swim lesson hygienic enough not to visit spa. I rebuffed and we left for early lunch at dico's, for the woman rearranged son's piano lesson near noon, hurry to catch after shower in pubic spa. my son enjoyed chicken as usual in the Taiwanese franchise restaurant. We returned on time, woz soon let to practice piano while his mom guarded aside him. in the night I dreamt gun conflicts with traitor in justified commitment. 2 Nankai Univ alumni from my hometown neighbor county, Huangmei, who help me dissolving among younger graduates when I sought master program back to 1999 without a proper candidate privilege and had to covertly borrow a berth in graduate dorm. the 2 guys also witness my broken heart with a girl collegian lives in neighbor dorm and exerted acid influence before I finally broke down. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China when it grows. grant me new family and offspring before I worn out. coming months will renew our diamond domains, guarantee my credit card capable and we actually affordable.

Photo Description: a full year's workout, QRRS 4th dorm completes in final stage. who will live in the nice building?
Photo Description: my QRRS dorm in 1st building, a humid, cold but neat niche benzrad never owns. poor as he is, rich as its meanings.
Photo Description: a clear sunny day from view of benzrad's QRRS dorm view. the road is closest to QRRS front square and busy no matter workday or weekends.


warm dreams. yesterday I first time put on woolen sweater in 2015 winter. the heat system likely examing, water makes sound through tubes. In the warm night I dreamt of my dearest dad, youngest sister in a camp, where dad's colleagues in forest station also brought their kids. my dad is so real and vivid in dream, that I woke up and made note on my phone for recall. then dreamt with my once QRRS cable TV station colleagues, they emphasized discipline to group themselves together. then dreamt in my hometown or a small town, I busy with fix an old tape, likes a floppy disk, my dad gave me as answer to my questions. the tape loosed outside and I managed rewind inside. then I hurry to buy a cinema ticket. near the box office there is a hole and a badger lives in. I managed to captivate it which isn't much hostile.Its a golden early winter morning, dad God, I just cash advanced from my PSBC credit card via a newly setup SPD bank branch near dorm to return canteen operator's loan. the very good news for coming month's credit pay back is each credit card's minimum repayment around ¥1000, much lower than September's.I will needn't borrow to deal repayment, and last month I had to ask son's mom to loan me 1000rmb with which she despised me. God, dad, I'm very confident upon coming years' harvest, pl grant us steady growth and consolidated meaningful moments in life stream that's our built. bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain tinder for future galaxy. let me berth earth again for seeding, dad God.

Friday, September 18, 2015

means rich.


woz's first smartphone, a nexus 6. first dreamt passed Nankai Univ alumni, Xiao Jindong, the only one committed suicide after failed to find himself social position after returned to his parents' house, working together with me in factory. he fixed machine while I assisted. then I lead to play video game in the factory. soon Wang Sichong, son of Chinese billionaire and web celebrity, lead several teenage join us. he has his own set of vr and played so immersed among the factory with his pals. but when I ready to leave with my chromebook, he asked to buy my game gear, no matter how much I charge him. I woke up with pride of my chromebook I bought from US with so many efforts and persistence in waiting. last week I experience so many joyful moments with my son. I more and more expecting staying with him when I can't find pleasure in my routine in dorm. to avoid boringness, I shopping online several times. delivery always excites me, but most exciting is handing over our purchased to my son and see him open the goods from e-commercial. a week ago I risk bankrupt and bought him his first smartphone, a nexus 6 by motorola priced ¥2500, for It rarely selling by amazon China, esp in a short period. otherwise I had to buy overseas and risk PRC's customs' seizure abrupt, for google products, even almost all digital tools, banned by the sinking tyrance domestic. it due to arrive these days, and I have been looking forward to it. my son, woz, last weekend brought by his mom to visit her hometown relatives. the bitch ordered no digital gadgets brought. I persuaded harshly my son fetched my pad against boring, and unfortunately the pad screen smashed when he tried to recharge it there with damned borrowed charger due shaky hands. I first time recently felt sorry and sad upon leaving old friend like the pad. but after visit local computer market, the screen glass told might replaced affordable. God, isn't it so nice? I felt more linkage with my pad, more cherishing life in ordinary. now Its Friday morning, this afternoon I will fetch my son to visit my dorm monthly. God dad, pl ensure my credit not all turns into concrete debts, pl keep freemium for us enjoying convenience and usage of credit as usual like currency. in coming year end pl help us clear some debts and ease to celebrate happy moment like others. thx dad, pl bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, and our glorious offspring, for holy task, for promised Empire and Royal garden nordic.


bitter Arab world, & dreamt of mi.com and its founder Leijun. its second night I slept in new and thicker quilt my kid brother bought me last year. its quite cozy in cold September night. in dawn dream I saw Leijun, founder of mi.com, a Chinese smartphone maker and known Steve Jobs admirer operating his company: training young employees, public relation, personal charisma. we didn't talk in dream for knew each other's reservation. there r lots of young people attracted afore, including myself needing investment, to the CEO in his prime time, a former long time programmer just taught by computer science from America soon after PRC's poverty drove opening policy, and he admits being idol. the blind young people reminds me the ongoing refugee crisis in Europe, islamic war in middle east drove millions Arabs fled their islamic nation, seeking refugee in Christian world. I hated the situation as known so hard to migrate to democratic world being Chinese, esp in PRC. those arabian losers in their homeland dump to advanced countries just as wished by their selfish tyrant in poor middle east barren by Arab thousand years. they silence upon the brutality in their homeland but in Europe they adopted all democratic means, protests, propagandas,human bodies as weapons to block police, social media on which most negative, violence, killing,torment brought ugly in limelight by them. Steve Jobs, the best son of Arab educated by Christian who built apple.com, will known in future world as most greedy profit squeezer and fetishism, and void of short glamour. Christian put hope in saint baby who saves the world, while islamic breed cattle of kids non-innocent and trains them brutal murderers like what happening in ISIS and recent war history in northern Africa. Arab pretends strong in the world stage but they do fell. in short time like apple into vain, world will see through the frequent cheats of islamic and Arab. united world under God will bring peace and glory to stage of unity sense, under clear undeniable truth in Majesty. God, dad, China on the half of arab and advanced western world. God, u put duty for my Royal China to broaden shiny way for Chinese apart from sins and falling. bring me sooner my Royal China to strengthen my base, dad, allow me have more children when I feed them. thx inspiring me disclose my discomfort upon times and times unbalanced indulgence upon barking islamic war machine, in this pale morning, God dad.


dreamt of warm love with a teacher. in dawn dream I was a father with solid life. he sent his son, not likely woz, to study in eastern Europe. his teacher is a cordial and gracious female. when chance came as she directing son running or some other training, the father approached the sweet teacher and murmured "I love u". the moment I definitely was the father and sensed how the love warm and glamorous, when the girl teacher replied, "I love u, too". she likely a russian or came from eastern Europe, and my trophy wife. last weekend I broke deadlock in game "alien rages", made new adventure with my son, woz's companion. in fact I made 2 progresses in the game when woz failed and shifted the gamepad to me. I told my son my guilty feeling upon recently seldom try video game, left him alone fought sweatily. but I also promised him I'm returning from dominating/exhausting joyes from shopping online. life will be stiller with making use of items rather than buying new one to fill the empty.Sunday lunch we ate formosa ( www.meiyujibaijia.com ), a Taiwan franchise. its western management style, rich and ready food, modern equipments including payment tools, amazingly attracted us. after shower I tried a new game, "Just Cause 2" we recently bought from humblebundle.com, but woz soon picked it and completed 2 chapters in half an hour. shooting is funny, and gaming is entertainment, my son woz told me when I urged him to treat war field more immersive and serious in game to remain alive before reckless shooting and killing by tactically finding more shelters, more calculations before risk of life. his mom's mom returned from travel and visit her relatives in more than a month. when they returned, I left their house and my son to my dorm. just after I settled in front of my desktop, it rained dusk. in the night I slept in rain rhythm like childhood hometown. next morning I lately got up around 8am and missed canteen breakfast. on Monday I successfully activated my abchina bank account bound with new PRC's social welfare card issued to me via QRRS office, after twice delayed by the bank for equipment not ready. God, my life begging for love experience, grant me love affair, oath and new family. bring me sooner my Royal China to replace the sinking CCP, release the last sinful police state PRC into its due ghosty tomb. thx, dad God, in this shiny morning after rains.

Photo Description: a thunderstorm just after noon. the window view of my QRRS dorm, yard of newly building dorm 4th junctional to my dorm.

Aug 27, 2015

dreamt of bees pested campus. dreamt with son in Nanzhou Univ. with 3 years bachelors. there are many bees lives in the campus. every students have to care about not irritate bees from their worm above among tree's branches. I sometimes warned woz alone me not to cause bees' hostility in dawn dream which woke me before 5am. yesterday son's mom asked me to accompany my son for her school has assignment for her in end of summer vacation. I brought KFC breakfast and launched to visit my son. he busy with his andorid games all the morning while I dozed most time, after last night watched American TV soap "the good wife" overnight. we dined Japanese cuisine and I equipped myself another sd card for mobile storage. returned to his mom's house, I again didn't touch gamepad but just allowed son to play his pad game, even I felt guilty upon not gaming. I recalled and shared memories when son in his 5 years or so he asked independently tackled game challenge when we gamed together on our poor notebook, and even earlier an old radiative tube monitor. I was touched by how bravery and sincerity we treated pc games then and earned ourselves equipment upgrades in recent years we both witnessed, including online platform adoption, while I more and more left less energy to sharpen my skill among wonderful games, just like aged elder unable to bite more delicacy. returned to dorm I busy with finding an offline text editor solution till near 10 pm before quit. then again watched US drama. on bed I suddenly realized my son reported several times he usually relentless half an hour before falling into sleep on bed. God, in sudden insight of his sleeplessness my heart broken. I know how it worsen anybody's life experience. i know how long my dearest son, Hope of China, God of Universe, confronted alone with world most draining difficulty, sleepless and awake, for response upon the whole world in God's craft. God, dad, I enjoy naps so much, pl grant more sleeps to soothe my son's overworn intensified probing over the vanity fair. God, dad, grant me courage not to suffer for compensation instead of my son for his need of sound sleep, but plenty from void against zero sum game predicted by buddism, but in Christian salvage enriches both confidence and completion in relation between world and us. dad, God, Asoh Yukiko my Crowned Queen from Japan, bring me sooner my Royal China to safeguard my family's burden esp. in night dome. grant my son, woz his due relaxation and robustness.

Monday, August 24, 2015

since last resort.

Aug 24, 2015

dreamt of Japanese murdering. in dawn dream, some Japanese girls likely actress I followed in google+ appear. some of them fell into love and let me admire. then saw gangsters in Japan. a short boy commanded his pals throw a victim into lake, then electricized the water. the victim likely shocked and paralyzed. when crowd approached to the crime scene, I woke up and don't know death end or just pains as punishment. yesterday my kid brother contacted me, first by sms asking if I need to buy anything on him. I blamed him always likes to do the less money intensified tasks, rather than directly give me loan. God, I don't know where his mercy came from, but I told him my review of his bravery: 3 times saved me from asylum by led me out of the insane treatment there. I said he doesn't owe me but I owe our dad for his late youngest boy, my kid brother and his helping hand. then my brother called in, allow my detailed explanation how my life wonderful, meaningful and thankful. after the conversation he dropped me another ¥2000 in a year. I paid back my credit with the aid at once, left less than 9,000 on account yet to pay, but minimum of the month covered. last week I first time realized I need slow down my living rhythm to outrun a marathon to see out my son's growing up, till his marriage, his social presence. I had tried to present my son best of mine, it more or less exhausted me. aging put me into more and more naps. but I need a strategy to outpost our situation agile around the full journey on the earth before we settle in God's shine. every day bites me, maintains me in hope and endure. I need plan to cope the worn out. God, dad, I still in faith of my new family, my girls and my offspring arriving. grant me Royal China to home my family. bring me insight upon development of my business, democracy of China. thx, dad, this cool morning before breakfast spiritual.

Aug 19, 2015

dream of vocation. dreamt being a writer works with colleagues. then a girl newly joined.her handwriting is awesome, but only me appriciated. she makes every Chinese character glows in its center, like a ripple there. then dreamt of my writing procedure which later turns successful. these weeks mostly puffing busy. I finally setup all newly equipped gears mostly purchased from united state working, except chromecast which unable to connect google to update its firmware, nor casting functional. China surveillance formidable choking, prolonged my efforts to activate our cherished google products. the most exciting for me is woz equipped with dell chromebook 11 touch, which likes a gift celebrates son's independence/maturity. while in woz's view, he mostly cheers up by the new nexus 7 tablet, whose brand new android 5 interface, like google now, attracted any potential mind about artificial intelligence. it also rid him off frustrations on his old intel cpu asus fonepad which quite some cases incompatible with android games in google play. now the intel based tablet shifted to me, and I glad to experience a portable touch pad. since last Sunday I started to setup google services on it and now mostly ready, excepted google play store deadly blocked.God, so many unease upon overseas purchases and PRC's customs' seizure, now all fautless arrived under China ambiguous arbitrary prohibition. thx, dad, now my debt to bank mounts to more than ¥20,000, all my credit cards near stalemate. grant me freedom of financial aplenty.grant us lifestyle we enjoy so far. God, bring me sooner my Royal China to home my family, my girls and our offspring under most glorious dome. in coming monthly gathering in the week with my son, woz, Hope of China, God of Universe, enrich us with affordable shopping and delicacy. thx, dad God.
Photo Description: a late summer dusk, woz with his proud dad's companion skated in his mom's community. past month witnesses successful overseas purchases as gift for his growth.
Photo Description: a golden dusk on way benzrad daily jog after dinner, near QRRS front plaza.

Aug 8, 2015

dreamt of respective leader in QRRS.::this week my son stayed with me in my QRRS dorm, for his mom again traveled. I subscribed boarding with canteen and lunch contractor for a week, cost ¥170. the lunch server accompanys his son tour on Tuesday so we dined out 2 days before woz returned to his mom's custody. his mom actually returned on Friday, earlier 2 day than exclaimed. my son played video games, watched web TV a lot. he more and more askes my companion in game and entertainment, so I gave him a lesson of independence.he ate less in canteen but enjoyed bread meal in addition KFC he chosen.its an important journey for both of us in this week reunion. this dawn I dreamt one of CCP cadre in QRRS rarely respective, Zhou Kaiming, with whom I reached out for help when disputed with once departmental leader and been punished almost jobless, twice when I failed finding another job and returned to QRRS just after I left asylum. also to whom I asked to introduce girl Zhou, for whome I launched blogging after her departure from QRRS Dorms after her apprentice in her senior university year, to me but unavailable and absent at last graduate employee year end party I ever joined in QRRS back to 2009 or so.then dreamt my oldest nephew, son of my eldest sister, treated me well. he didn't help me much in real life.God, dad, the last gift in the pack to improve son's study and entertainment environment arriving, a google nexus 7 tablet. speed up delivery and break barrier to access google play store and other wonderful services. my son looking for it hardly, doesn't under-expect him. bring me sooner my Royal China to space my adventure promoting democracy in China, shelter sinking PRC and Chinese in God's shine. thx dad, after all these turbulence overseas purchases none failed me.

Aug 1, 2015

dreamt of strange marriage.::yesterday I visited my son as holy urged. I'm a bit loathing to do just after lunch but it turned out very productive. I first shifted my bankcomm credit card from woz to my own holding, now that he has another Postal Saving Bank credit card for daily usage. woz admitted it. than I turned talkative while my son writing his homework. I reported him recent interesting stories from news I read in the week, commented with my world view. I babbled almost 3 hours, till my son finished his homework and played video games alone. I urged him making good usage of new dell chromebook 11' touch. when his mom returned to home and drove us outdoor, I brought my son dined out in our favorite restaurant near railway station. I fed him while he busy on his android pad game. I told him merit of Japanese after I learned from watching Japanese TV soaps, unease life of scholarship disclosed from US TV drama, etc. returned to dorm, I myself wondered how much I narrative and resourceful as workout of my daily readings. the night I felt relentless. in dawn dream I dreamt one of my colleague who died in his mid-age when I worked for QRRS cable TV station. he is editor chief of the state-owned-enterprise cable TV, and almost famous within the company for his writing, for official statements, annual year end party and any enterprise cultural carnival anchoring speech. when I worked indirectly under his command, I sensed his bitter frustration as stalemate in career, lack of tech and engineering. he died overnight without any omen nor bedridden. he earlier divorced youth romantic lover then married another woman with a step daughter. his beloved daughter in his first marriage sent by him to China Liberty Army. when she left the service she settled in a middle size city southerner than Qiqihar but still in northeastern China. her wedding ceremony helped by most of her passed dad's former colleagues but not me. I narrowly avoided it among my jobless status in QRRS. I dreamt in dawn I married with the girl and same time married with another girl. my 2 family mirrors parallel in space. we had a boy and he is just smart and sound as expectation. the dream is vivid and lengthy but now I forgot most of it. next week my son will stay with me in my dorm, for his mom again travels.God, grant us a working chromecast which still blocked by China censorship from connecting and no functional. bring us sooner woz's new nexus 7 tablet which now stopped by customs after left Hongkong for more than a week. bring me sooner my Royal China to home my children and aging me.consolidate 2 bank credit limits from temporary to permanent. thx dad, in this silent morning.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

silver whisper in summer rain.


dreamt of climbing steep hill. :: in dawn dream with some pals climbing hills which r steep and thick of yellow earth turned from rotten rocks. one of graduates from hometown village Zhudajiu, an art student, offered a helping hand when almost climbed the top. also there r tigers among crowd, they drove farming bulls. this month almost a marathon before getting my gifts for son, woz, from US.it drove me tasteless from my routine including site building, blog, tech news digest,etc.I don't know which first, boring in work or action in adventure to power up our living and working environment, or son's mom's Taiwan tourism challenges my serving our son. but one thing is sure, I want improving my son's study and entertainment facility. I want he surfing without sinking PRC's surveillance, want him familiar with digital world from his teenage.I want him living in freedom in homeland like those bureaucracy's offspring sent overseas.I want him enjoy fruits of Christian and democracy.so I ordered him chromebook, nexus 7 tablet,chromecast, and also a chromebit for replacing windows desktop as my own workspace which frequently hacked by China surveillance. the process burning me a lot, for Chinese customs can seize them without precaution. the bundle cost me near ¥5000, with the aid of my recently improved credit limit by ccb bank I survive in face dropping salary due slump economy in China and in QRRS, my once and long time employer. in last step against PRC's Internet blocking, I bought new vpn and gee smart router, which relief my coding demands last resort breaking blocking, equip family frequently been hacked router with openwrt function. God, dad, all my efforts means I am responsible for improving our life quality within my civil space, contrast to CCP's depriving and stealth of individual freedom, unreasonable totalitarian. dad, God, grant us free cyberspace, ensure my son's secured circumstance under despaired PRC.bring me sooner my Royal China, my girls and our children in our dynasty of 1109 years. after heavy rain yesterday, grant me a sunny day to pacify the last waiting.


dreamt of programming and management.::dreamt hanging with a girl whose family is a billionaire, like HTC chairwoman Cher Wang. I then closely watched the work flow of an affiliate enterprise, a spa. I started to program management software for it, from database to use case design to sql building, I almost finished it, exceptionally programming detailed in dream.


heavy journey in dreams. :: first dreamt my old mother got pregnant. my kid brother and I discussed how to deal with it. then dreamt in hometown village, Zhudajiu, discussed breath exercise and Chinese traditional Kung fu with graduates in the village, and mourning a passed graduate from the village. when I napped against boring waiting for overseas package after breakfast, I dreamt traveling and dwelt at customs with 2 parcels. the customs staff probed and registered packages, and I tried to rent a upper cell to store my heavier parcel so that my mobility improved to better enjoy the scenery harbor.past week tough for me, for I looking forward my overseas purchased gift for son, a dell chromebook, to arrive sooner.Its my first international cargo. no one tells me its feasibility nor reliability. my routine work on site building also distracted by the waiting, stalemated and rarely updated. I previously pray God allow me present the solution aiming improving my son's study and entertainment environment before his tour to Taiwan in his mom's faculty delegation, but they abrupt aboard in last Friday noon, left me better prepared for the coming bliss in the securer notebook. God, what can I do to speed up the delivery? what can I soother burnout in the prolonged descending cheer? dad, God, such easier thing turns so difficult, why is the curtained hand constantly takes away and messes up? God, dad, grant us light in the end of the tunnel, fruit of faith upon burning thirst when done. bring me sooner my Royal China, my girls with my kids under my Empire lasts 1109 years ahead in eastern Asia. bring us new earth and land in milder weather zone that feeds and baptizes like charming destiny.


dreamt of Islamic nation. :: in dawn dream, my 2nd elder brother works temporally in mid-east.I live in his house and waiting for him fetching meals for me. then my 2nd elder sister also in the country. I tried to figure out the relation between its custom and its religion, the Islamic, say, larger door indicating open brotherhood within them. last night I slept deeply, likely weekend reunion with my son released my endured expectations, and joy flow find basin of memory and peacefully mixed. through my business my son more and more sensed the burden of living. Saturday night I brought him to dine out in downtown grill buffet, on arrival I told him how I unease upon my debt which mounted to nearly ¥25000. then my smart son, woz, felt dizzy during the dinner, ate less than usual there while first time hangout several weeks ago we both enjoyed the rich meal.dad, God, my life here more and more turned into waiting and enduring. grant me momentous/momentum to move on, to engage myself for adventure. bring me sooner my Royal China to home the eastern Asia. permit my sites online booming in and out of cyberspace. in this golden Monday Morning, bless us new chromebook and chromecast. thx, dad.


dreamt of Lyu Songya, the girl visited me.:: in dream we r senior middle school students or undergraduates. one boy student followed us when Lyu invited me errand and later I kissed her. our intimacy turns stronger in the adventure and we likely has a son. she good at academy as usual.Its clearly she first time appears in my dream. these weeks totally burning me in waiting for gift for my son, woz, Hope of China. I ordered it on taobao.com, Chinese biggest e-commercial portal, but after nearly a month the vendor told me my specified chromebook was not a touchscreen. I badly need a touch screen to allow woz play android games on chromeOS, so I retreated it. then I tried to order directly on dell.com, order confirmed and a week later canceled for my credit card not a native American one. I also ordered google chromecast for saving woz's sight: his mom recently bought herself bedroom a large LED smart TV, which attacked my son watching closely. I want him keeping a distance from TV lest worsen his eye sight. he already wears a glasses of 400. the shipment from US also needs a month to arrive me, that burns me again. these weeks I don't know why I sleepless and tasteless, or I put too much expectation in the efforts to improve my son's study and entertainment environment. God, my space kept pinched by China surveillance, pl allow me do something to engage myself meaningfully. bring me what I need to shelter my family against looming homelessness in sinking PRC. bring me sooner my Royal China to host the eastern Asia and the drifting continent. thx dad God, see soon my proud works for my son, woz.

tags: #God #AsohYukiko #life #love #Son

Saturday, June 13, 2015

loving sunshine agian and again.


dreamt of government of Qing dynasty.:: in first dream worked for a young man in his water heat factory. he in fact a gangster entrepreneur, earned first bucket of gold from bloody business, like many succeeded youth in northeastern China, dogs rampant land. I tried to keep distance from the charisma who inspected old facility and made ambitious plan to renovate the steam heat system on a small hill. he tried to attract me over while acute in behalf of his blur dog business. then dream in a large space not likely family but my dad there, he is leaving for his work but concerned deeply my work. I assured him I busy with my websites even its hard with or without marketing. then I saw my website business contacting a Mandarin Primer in cyberspace. then I in another world found he, a Manchu, is actually Primer of Qing Dynasty in history. the Emperor of Qing Dynasty also appeared in dream but we didn't exchange many words. Its a sunny dawn, so I decided to cherish the golden moment to blog the dream. last night I talked to my kid brother, urged him to have another baby, as he want a daughter, as long as his financial situation supportive.I told him if he have another child I would less threatened by biocide from sinking PRC tyrant. I urged his mission to defeat our cousin, the first son of our blue collar worker uncle, a teacher, a dean then a bureaucrat like all worst communist cadre. my kid brother impels comparing him with the cousin as enemy, said the sin already failed for his 3 children, all boys, all unsuccessful in career. but I refute my kid brother's impatience, pointing to that one fortune changes anytime and never overlook sinister in preparing or guise, or on the wane. the night I felt harder to sleep, for I know changing matters occurs. God, I saw so many complacent in my site building. allow me to sustain the online service, as well as our diamond domains, to ever brighter scope in future. bring me sooner my Royal China to family me. bring me sooner my girls with our children. Dad,God, allow me more in ur shine.


dreamt of hooligan.::its a drizzling night while I didn't know the rain outside. I dreamt in dorm a hooligan borrowed my key to open other apartments. I don't want war against the beast so I tried to show him that my key is only working for my room, not compatible with any other room lock. I never allow my key left my hands till the hooligan left futile after my demonstration. the dream very vivid and urgent. when I woke up its 5am and I felt better note it on my mobile. I missed my breakfast after I woke up near 8:30am. its warmer in dorm but the drizzle, expected against everywhere catkins annoying eyes and noses, in time to clean the air. the past week I endured waiting as usual. more times I can't bear and laid down, and each time I napped soon. aging likely takes more and more my joy into enjoyable future glories. burning hope in gathering and social interactivity, boundless delicacies frequently unseat me. I knew my changing taste and away my presence. God, engaged me with fresh idea, committed me in task force, even in this adverse espionage sinking PRC tyrant exerted on us. God, dad, embed me in soil and grows dream of Holy message as usual. take me to ever new journey fills of bravery and consolidation. bring me sooner my Royal China to family me, dad, thx in raining.


dreamt of journey again.:: first dreamt discussed talents' ethical standard with President Obama, and opposed his choosing of elite. then dreamt of being granted to fly with attendants. before aboard, among stewards and stewardess we moved packages onto the flight. its a honor to work with those young and beautiful people. till the jet launched, the session of dream ends. before I woke up I saw my 2nd elder sister gossiped me among our relatives.Its kind. last week I endured a lot before my Postal Saving Bank of China credit card arrives. God promised me it would be smooth so I just waited. till Friday noon I can't bear the breaking neck looking forward, after near a week, and visited QRRS mail office. a new guy there told me the mail address didn't include departmental detail so they denied the mail. he suggested me hurry to visit local postal office and if lucky enough to catch it before it retreats. it was not there when I checked in. the monitor, a mid aged man urged me informed card issuer to re-mail. but I lingered there till the computer operator, a younger woman extended her help and suggested me visit her next day. I left with gratitude. but in the afternoon I can't bear again and visited the woman in postal office soon. she disappointed and asked me check in next day as planned. returned to dorm rusty sadness so sick that put me asleep on bench in sunshine intact. managed to survive to Saturday, I finally fetched my first VIP credit card from postal office. it comes double: a common PSBC credit card well known for its no annual fee, and a gold credit card valid especially for 6 years. the credit limits not so impressive, each ¥15,000, but may suffice me. the outcome promised but turns so wilder with joy. with the financial tool, I probably better equipped to cop my debt and maintain lifestyle we enjoy.
God, dad, I misunderstood credit some time. help me better adopt credit in coming years. grant us fruitful work and life with companion of credits which so graceful. bring me sooner my Royal China to grow and harvest. grant us a flight journey sooner to elevate our burnout in grudging reality in sinking PRC surveillance. thx dad, among so many positive changes these years happened on us.


dreamt of graduation in dawn after son's birthday. ::dreamt gathering & cooked to celebrate our graduation. the meal includes fruits and porridge. Zhang Chongfu dispatched dishes to us.Huang Junyi and Yang jing happily what they gained in the final exam. even I seriously concerned my final score, which is 45 out of 100, but in fact I won the test to graduate successfully. some of my less lucky alumni, like a girl Fu Jing, 2 other guys hate school, only got a one digit score. yesterday is woz, my dearest son, birthday. I previously intended to linger in dorm which more and more accepted by me as my office. the morning is gloomy pale, after a sunny Sunday. I look forward the sun appears again in clouds to sunburn my wet bed clothes, but it doesn't till I gathered my son and ate his birthday cake I bought him, in his mom's house.God urged me to visit my son on his 10 years' birthday. I grouponed a cake from a likely startup. the cake manually made by a young lady her own in a simple and a bit messy shop but its delicious. my son carefully put on all his 10 candles before we made snapshot advised by his mom. they reportedly will travel to Taiwan with their school delegation in coming summer vacation. I suggested my son using my credit card to buy himself ¥500 or more valued products from the dear island. his mom previously asked if I aid my son's tour, I replied I don't have extra money, but this reply of credit card sufficed her, for she just in lack of foreign credit card. she likely even doesn't know what a visa card looks like. In last week I managed a lot to enable our life easier. I purchased new VPN for woz independently using against more insanely brutal surveillance in sinking tyrant PRC. my application for PSBC credit card, my 4th, got passed and the card due to reach me in this 2 weeks. to celebrate the credit, which likely my first VIP card with largest credit quotation so far in my title, I purchased my son, Hope of China, God of Universe, a dell chromebook with touch screen facilitate his workspace experience as a pupil. the old dell notebook a bit too heavy for him and mainly used as a fix game console and online TV top set. so many good news intensified my nerves and exhausted me in weekends. So I had to ask for absence during game time with my son. he fought alone bravely in weekends online battle field. I even felt dizzy overnight in dorm, after I first tried Japanese style wine from a Japanese cuisine restaurant in downtown we lunched Sunday before weekly shower. God, my life here graceful. I can improve my life in China with lead of America. China doesn't necessarily abused like a hell or pitfall of sins and freaks, we can make it better on our won. dad, God, pl allow my son quality learning space and living standard in my custody. grant us swift move among debt barriers. bring me sooner my Royal China to raise my children, future of China.
#God #AsohYukiko #life #love #Son

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

means in drizzles.


dreamt of academic nightmare.::in dream my passed mother encouraged me to join campus even I had definitely lost chance to gain my diploma. I talked with a young professor on way to classroom, saw my classmates there, and our mentor woman, Yangkexin, both far from me. I just so singly entrenched among them, spending time aimless and futile just for forgetting the sad end like blackhole. the late spring drizzle lasted more than 4 days. its so rare in Qiqihar, northeastern China. my towel in dorm even can't dry itself. yesterday I added my google adsense code to my 3 new dynamic sites powered by google cloud engine to allow display advertisements which can bring me shared income from the search giant. its so nice to see site vivid with fliers. an article about how to maintain digital legacy after decease also remind me how fragile digital content is without sustainable financial support. it takes a committee or company to carry out operativeness of website instead of elapse of human being. it took me 40 years before I find my vocation, and my engagement with my web presence just launched. OMG, I am in my prime time and happiest stage now, how I need to spare an executive team to long run my digital empire covers thousand and thousand future years for glory of the Son and his gospel! last night I doubted quite awhile if I buzz my son in such a cold and deadly silent night. I more and more reluctant to talk to his mom whose untidiness and dirtiness expels me, and I also hope my son lives in normal and reasonable situation even under the insane woman's custody. my son will envoy himself. my debt to organization now amount to ¥17,000, seemingly I had to apply for second installment. God, dad, u know how I unease with such a draining debt, and how I badly need currency to broaden my business here on the planet. guide us, as well as my nation, my family, peacefully through liability to bank. connect us with evergreen source of fortune, live life of prosperousness. thx,dad, in the drizzle I saw changes brings us advantage. God, land us onto our promised land where doesn't know anxiousness nor want.


saw so many classmates in morning dream. :: last night a drizzle just wet the ground. the dorm is damned chilly. I join quilt to warm myself after breakfast. so I dreamt my Nankai alumnus went camp. we settled along a small brook and will return to campus overnight. I saw Wenxiong, Chenjiancai, Zhousheng,and lots of schoolmates. the stream less alive, so many worms in it, I didn't want been infected so I just roamed among my busy grilling alumni. later I flied in the middle of the stream but soon my playful schoolmate dragged me down. My heart was sad, for leaving. my package not well tightened while march soon began in the dream. its really a relax to see vivid school life again. the trees and grass all new green now. but spring rain never formally addresses. my heart saddens in these days preparing credit cards pay back. God, dad, grant us free burden in life. improve my apartment's warmth condition once and forever. bring me sooner my Royal China to home me and my concerned. thx, dad.


dreamt of orgasm. ::recently frequently stay late online and sleepy in the morning. last night first a nightmare of psychopathic woke me up to pee. then dreamt an extraordinary Buddhist nun fight monks and conquered them with deep orgasm. I sensed the way reaching orgasm and satisfied. these days sunshine a bit rare, cloudy late spring let my dorm apartment cold. in mornings my leaking window covered with mists and disappeared till sunny outside late. my son finally now playing online platform. he loves to see gamers over the world joining in his game. last weekends he asked to play all time, allowed me to retire and watched aside. even connecting to servers frequently failed under China surveillance and game session lost, he didn't depreciate my efforts to deploy the platform costs dollar and improved Internet access. we got rid of the old wireless router which frequently victim of hacked. we dined twice delicious meals in the Labor holiday. one is buffet we never haunt before. a shallow drizzle wet some ground when we ate. another is southern Chinese cuisine, which so rich that we had to ask son's mom joining us. leftover bundle enough for carry home even after we three fulfilled. my son asked my promise to stay till 8:30pm and we did: near 8:15pm my son allows me leave when his mom urged him to teeth brush before went to bed. my 2nd elder sister finally offered her loan, ¥1000, to me and it really solving. my websites serving and I dig them casual and leisure. God, dad, I pray for ur salvage for my shortage of currency. we don't sustain large costs but currency of healthy lifestyle maintains consistent supply, while my salary deficits in 2 serial months due slump economy and industrial gloom QRRS in. dad, God, we do enjoy life we have now, except my longing for children and wife. pl lead us through tough shaky road toward dignity and glory. bring me sooner my Royal China and my children as known. bring known broad way to the promised land. thx, dad.


woz first online game platform.:: last week too busy to blog. we promised a restaurant near my dorm bimonthly haunt, delayed a week we finally fulfilled. in the week I purchased our first pc platform game bundle, from humble bundle in which "PvP: Garden War", my son's long time inspiration, enlists. $10 of my payment will donate by the release company, EA. I also donated $10 to Nepal earthquake rescue. when I pay, I felt complete, not only the goodness, but also empowered pay tool I gained since last year, credit card with world currency like Visa, MasterCard. my responsibility scattered without the financial tool. so last Monday I filed fourth application for PSBC credit card. Postal Saving Bank of China refused me 3 times previously, but I don't see why in its defiance. I have to make prudent choices to maintain 4 credit cards giving my poor income, but that's enough. my new adventure, 3 dynamic sites hosted on Google Cloud Engine, runs smoothly without much I can do now. visitors scarce but I will try my best to sustain its operative. I feel so bright upon our future, with my son, woz, Hope of China, God of Universe, with our 18 diamond domains. last week I slept dog-tired mostly, scampered through short dreams evaded recalling. I also encountered my 1st serious scam. Bankcomm leaked my account, which allows a scam call claimed represented the bank contacted me to sell fraud gift pack. the woman on the phone told me I will pay ¥99 for the pack but a ¥100 mobile fee charging card will issue to me. that's no loss, so I admitted. I absently paid when I visiting my son while the package arrived the dorm. after activated the charging card after I returned to dorm in the night, I found my mobile subscriber does not response. I search online, the case narrowly covertly discussed: forged charging hotline, forged gift pack,forged Ipad TV usb stick (virus positive). sinking PRC brought lots of scams. its police only interests in activists & social causes hunting down, but never criminals. they never fail evil but cost of hope of common people. trees budding since Apr 26. in a night green leaves appears among dark branches after a winter. municipal gardeners busy with watering street fence plants. some flower trees blossom in time. annoying dusts and sands in wind disappeared after stalemate weather dooms the area sultry instead of windiness. God, dad, isn't summer arriving like I dreamt of? I love summer, beautiful female skin and stylish dressing, breeze of shadows and water's baptism. let it come, dad, and bring me my Royal China! bring me my new family and glorious wedding. bring me through debts and delight of life here. thx, dad, God, in this pale morning.

Monday, April 20, 2015

God could know the saddening.


a strange hometown dream.:: in the dream I saw a pal, whose mother is a dumb and died early when he in teenager. the pal just broke his marriage and his wife was invited by my 2nd elder brother to dine together and discuss saving the marriage, for my old family is the leading family on genealogy tree in the village, as my elder brother told me in dream. the wife found was the daughter of another guy just near the pal's house. the guy has a female name, 4th sister ( Simei in Chinese). I also ate dinner among the family. I discussed philosophy with the sorry wife, who is a bishop in local church. she didn't has a accurate interest in the bible, and soon left after the dinner. the night I slept deep. the day before it, my son, woz, visited my dorm and ported a night here in bimonthly noble life experience, including cinema, Walmart shopping, dining elegantly out. we watched an English comedy, "Mortdecai", we both enlightened. my son anxious about my comment after I commented so many times upon things around us. next day I tried to install EA's origin game platform on his dell win7 and his favorite game, PVP:Garden War, from our recent purchased humblebundle, but unfortunately download broken, likely due to PRC's surveillance. my son complained too much time cost on the failed operation while gaming time insufficient. lunch before weekly shower I picked a new snack booth which cheaper than usual. then it turned out a huge mistake. the food is less satisfying, and we left rush and mistakenly left woz's cap and shower bag there. when I found my son lost his shower bag, which recently bought online costs ¥80, I scorned him sincerely. he likely felt I would care his bag while I took granted its his job. we walked near 3 bus stop returning to the cheap restaurant. luckily our bag saved by the owner and it returned to us. in shower I felt sorry for too many scorns and I helped my son shampoo his hairs and back body. I also bought him cola when a neighbor kid drank from his bottled water. we spent medium on fruits, but strongly recommended early melon to my son. he took my advise and enjoys the fresh and juicy fruit. his mom soon fetched him outside for sports, I stayed alone till they returned more than 1 hour later, just roamed and reviewed. his mom, a bitch, found I there started to curse again. I fed my son 3 slices of oranges then I left. Its a sad weekend, when I went to bed before sleep, review what I told my son events he even didn't remember when we fought for living before I last time lived with my mother after left him with his consent in his 2 years old among adversity. dad, God, u know all these memories. bring me sooner my Royal China to let the family history flow evergreen. grant us free of debt in coming years when we broaden our business here promotion democracy in China, the old glorious land scarred under PRC since the fall of Ming dynasty under my family title. thx, dad, this sleeping morning I survive.


GCE powered sites of zhone almost settled.::these days a bit busy. with aid of powerful google and handy web documents, I almost hammered 3 dynamic sites down on google cloud platform. they r zho.io, agarten.in, and bbs.zhuson.com. the latter is my long time promise for my hometown folks in village Zhudajiu where more and more families got wired nowadays but without cyberspace community. once prepared QRRS, my once and long time employer, its trial dynamic site, I gained some expertise on php. so setup php web apps not a pain for me, but setup web server on linux is fresh new for me. I intensified search the web for help on ssh,ssl and it didn't fail me. I had several night worked lately till 3am to quit. mid night usually productive. I also recently refined the 3 dynamic sites theme customization, header, footer, zhone's 18 affiliate domains link bundle, etc. sensible progress everyday steadily let me glad, even I know it would last all my life, for I need time to dwell destiny. the gay in dorm still barking all around me, but its echoes seemingly farer and farer. my son, woz, frequents several games and loathed to try new ones, so I was free to hunt and adopt him new adventures. yesterday I read EA release humblebundle 2 which includes "Plants vs Zombies: Garden War", my son's favorite but unable to try, I immediately ordered it. it will be our first online pc game. so nice! in the week I also equipped my dorm life a boiler cup, for dorm's shared boiler setup highest temperature 80℃, according the engineer's reply to my innocent complain, lest risk of blow fuse,foolish reason like himself. so, so many years I all drank water not even boiled. my new boiler economic for me, ¥45, and heating can improve room against its coldness due incomplete seal of window frame. and best cause, boiled water allow me enjoy better teas. God, my life always expects my new Empire of China last 1109 years ahead. this dawn dreamt I with my son in Tian'anmen Square. bring me sooner my Royal China in time my prime. grant me debt free in coming months till payment of 18 domains cleared. thx dad, God, in this silent morning.


dreamed of academy. ::these days preparing web apps brought heaviest hacking from China surveillance exhausted me. according online documents they should be working well but problematic in my cases, even local tests fine but on server side they broke, either scripts or database. when I reached a plan to rent a cloud service like amazon AWS or google cloud platform, PRC government backed hacking desperately intervened: they hijacked my chromebook's touchpad and messed the chrome os;they censored every web page I attempted to access and blocked or let page loading lagged.this dawn I was in campus again, with philosophy professors. in dream my main topic is every theory would expanding its scope by extending along opposing direction, which increases contrast forces' battle in observation, like any living creature. only changing reality in time's phrase alters the theory's focus and fade its concerns. its likely just a new school term after vacation. professors encouraged me to elaborate my thesis. some classmates, strangely none of my classmates actually, talked to me, one of them told me brutal conflicts in his hometown nowadays common scenes between abused state power and helpless farmers' properties. last week a late snow, lasted 2 days, an in time gift for farming, dented some photos in my camera. Chinese traditional mourning day holiday also just passed. the ugly tradition brought many foolish Chinese burning paper treasure instead of real ones in hope that will let their passed relatives in hell living well. the pollution and wastes really annoying, like Chinese government's took granted the sovereign around its people and land can be dictated by it. but bible long makes it clear, land owner, nor residents, don't holy mean they own. PRC desperate building in land Internet separates outer world, seemingly claims they own the land and population, as well as conversation on the web as their property, what a laugh! the world created by God, never any sinful man inherits. Internet and conversation online doesn't belong to dictation CCP, nor the territory and nationality, rather, they belongs to better world, the holy visionary. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China, my girls and my offspring in a closer date. let my mission here solid engaged. thx dad, in the pale morning fosters security.


to deploy web app on family sites. ::these days busy with deploying php forum, cms on google cloud service under zhone domains, bbs.zhuson.com and zho.io.China surveillance broke my os several times in developing stage so far, let web as well as database server unavailable times and times, against my effects to fix its ruin. exactly these days the shameless GFW, PRC's largest scale Internet surveillance, challenged github.com by DDOS attack which now a laugh of shameless and lowness and failure of ass.the abnormal gay in dorm still tried his best to stalk me, showing more it's a plot of high order. this morning I slept sweet, dreamt a woman IT staff of my once workplace dated with me during a summit.later I got know her parents, likely earlier graduate in Mao's era and migrated to northeastern China like me. sometime the woman mingled with her little daughter in dream, both proud and smart enough. I know they both treated by their family dearly. breakfast is delicious and the morning sunshine milk alike. last weekends my son, woz, Hope of China, roamed outside in his mom's community as his mom advised after we gamed a lot on pc and android pad. woz played awhile among outdoor elders training zone aside the stadium. we made nice photos. my dorm's windows not sealed properly, I reported to dorm director but she urged I my own to fix it. the neighbor new dorm resumed building after postpone during winter. this morning hammers and crane sang noisy again in crisp air, just aside my dorm. God, dad, I'm contented with this dorm except unsure if heat system overcomes leaking windows. grant us warm winter next year. grant us debt free and zhone's domain ownership consolidated. bring me sooner my Royal China and my girls, our offspring to come. in this silent morning I have no reason not to drink bliss of holy. thx, dad.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

spring song budding.


dreamt of flying.::these 2 weeks in turbulence. I moved to new apartment, in QRRS Dorm 1st. at first I thought I was chosen only for improving environment, which neat but insufficient heat let it cold. then next few days almost all the dorm 3rd residents moved here. the criminals tentatively don't flush toilet and bully again bring brutality and tensions here: frequent noises, savagery attitude in common bathroom. my neighbor room is the toilet, half built a shelter occupied by cleaner who is a fat woman and stupid peeking young men's private life for her emptiness. the facing door resides a man with bone problem which let him can't stand chest upright but cater to inflexible backbone and couch all time lest pains. he likely also enjoys alone his room, while most dorm rooms shared by 2 or 3 young workers of QRRS, but also more and more local mafias seizes berth here. my apartment windows a lovely small yard with some tall trees, but over a street there is 2 elders' gate ball playground. in the past week those aimless elders remind me what futile life looks like. the room facing northeastern, never a direct sunshine enters, except in morning half of hour some small red spots on wall aside of my bed around 7am. I had to watch sunshine outside to sense the brilliance of fine weather if I trapped by the apartment coming year. the gay, last night an American Movie remind me his dwarfism like abnormal short legs, projecting forehead, pestered me a few days, by stalking me. some days ago it even followed me alone into washing room and stared at me when I fetched hot water. I cursed in air and it stopped the beast for a day. then next day when I daily rambled after dinner it pursued me again and again next day. it tried all means to annoy me, to frustrate me. in the process I gradually had insight plots from higher order, in QRRS, in sinking tyrant of PRC. these nights I also had trouble to fall into sleep. in this dawn I dreamt flying again. its like electromagnetic skating, demands smooth breath, balanced firm while steady boost. my passed dad, God in Heaven now, smiled and encouraged me by his present noticed. I later even can carry my son to fly. we passed a 2 or 3 boys dancing band in their school. one of them tried drug for his better performance and likely addictive. its a sunny morning and I enjoyed canteen breakfast without been stalked. girls in the dorm last night shared the washing room with me when I peed for sleep, its so sweet among shits of gays.isn't it my nightmare to vanish? isn't my private life, peaceful and fruitful, commencing? dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China. bring my new family, my offspring when it matters most. grant us free debt, joy of being gifted. thx, Father.


dreamt of PRC's general & diplomatic minister, Chen. :: in dawn dream saw family life of Chen Yi, general and diplomatic minister of new PRC. he and his wife on vacation tour. his son likely friend of us. a film director, Feng Xiaogang, also appeared and commented like all his famous acid remarks. the freak gay in dorm still stalked me like a ghost. this morning he suddenly sit on my next table when I ate my breakfast, and tentatively walked in front of me when I left, even I lingered quite awhile after the insane left his table.God, the dorm director promised me I will move to another dorm among QRRS 3 dorms. any other dorm environment better than current one. the director said it should done latest in July. God, dad, rid me off these abnormal persons sooner. they broke hot water tank and other common utilities in the dorm, don't flush toilet, slam doors in front me, humiliate me with gay signals for so many times. yesterday my son and I equipped first time with our own bath bag, which costs us ¥100 and stylish. we brought shampoo by them to dico's to eat lunch before showering in public spa. we had good time in the Taiwan franchise restaurant. woz's pad has more new games I prepared for his play. my son asked me to spend more time with him in Sunday and we both made proud progress in video games each. my game and gamepad skill improved a lot in these years with my son's companion, who instills confidence and meaning of better performance in simulation like games as important as big business in the traditional world. the night in dorm I didn't watch video, but just roamed. thx God, glory of Son fulfilled me with faith. dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China into my new family. bring my girls and my new offspring under beautiful day light. grant me passing through monthly credit load successfully. thx, dad.


dreamt of lesbians in my old family. ::recently I quite times reviewed my old family. my mother who had tendency of lesbian and later encouraged my dad adopted his young apprentice who accompanied my dad for more than dozen years and finally tried to slight my dad lately. she wanted the gay apprentice serving my dad instead of her, who long time rendered caring my dad as boring and loathed for chores. her usual trick was turning herself sick and bed bound. but my dad seldom noticed and scorned her to resume our normal family life. my dad told me the apprentice tempted to kiss him when I buzzed him. I called the sick apprentice next day as a warn and told my dad who reached out me my action to fix. my dad almost unable to believe my helping hand, assured twice by me the call in the phone. that was months before his passing by the world he manifests so brilliant to me, his 3rd son. so many years my mother selling her cheat: she claimed the apprentice treats my dad well, sent him gift money, usual ¥50 annually without break, and I never found the fog that she wanted my dad gay, to spare her lesbian inclination. my grand dad never took it, but just let it go. he usually don't respond the gay apprentice babbles and fell into sleep soon, while the gay stayed lately in my parents' room, esp when I returned to hometown during school vacation. my mother has a sinful mind. this dawn I dreamt of my hometown again, my sister-in-law, IE. my 2nd elder brother's wife, a die hard lesbian, made our neighbor surrendered by her bitchiness. being a whore, a shameless dirty animal she drained my old family steps by steps. she also likely humiliated my first love, girl Lyu when she visited our house bravely without notification back to our senior middle school. for no spare room, she was arranged to sleep with my sister-in-law who just married my brother. my girl Lyu never returned to me after the night slept in our house. the sister-in-law even seduced her dog, which let my brother wanted to kill but it fled. these undercover events evaded me for years, but now emerging in the curse dooms my unsuccessful marital life. God, dad, in ur sunshine I baptized. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring my girl Lyu, girl Zhou, girl TW, and our robust offspring. let us pave ur road on the earth, dad, God.


dreamt of house and garden.:: seemingly lots time passed during these colorful activities with my son, woz, ending lunar spring holiday including cinema, shopping Walmart, dine out. I even less work log at rememberthemilk.com, for life so wonderful when U just taking things u like, with adequate financial support. woz previously less attracted by android games, but since last Sunday the situation improved, with new games I prepared him rather than encourage him hunting in google play store on his own. my sinful 2nd elder sister 2nd time told me she will loan me ¥1000 but the bait yet at large. so many cheap souls in my circle, God! meantime the weather, esp spring sunshine fills my heart with anthem of glory, and hope of new settlement. in dawn dream I busy with decorating our house, likely with once intimate 2 girls in my life, Liu or son's mom. I again don't act arbitrarily, trapped by financial dependence or son's mom's insane orthodoxy in guise. then with my son, woz, hope of China, God of universe, we gardening in our yard. my son enjoys the grass, bees, while I busy digging coins from soil where neat and solid. there is another kid unknown there. after breakfast in canteen, I reckon time to allow these golden memories harvests in my cyberspace. God, dad, these days more buffeting upon my faith. God, I cherish current golden silence before even greater glory ahead. God, don't leave me idle, leave me engaged. bring me sooner my girls, my Royal China. let me raise my sons sooner. thx, dad.