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Tuesday, August 07, 2018

countless sworn in, inc new chromebox 3 into zhone enlist.

Aug 7, 2018

dreamed at my nephew's city, neighbor city of Hangzhou, Changzhou. among crowd I tried to talk to him, first son of my 3rd elder sister's, tring to coach him on business and life. I also concerned his brother in dream. It's a golden morning. last night I first close my window before went to bed since this summer, for today is lunar Autumn creeps in. this month exceptional weighted for I equipped myself another chromebox, Asus chromebox 3, after our chromebox CN60 shifted to my son as his lounge mini pc. my internet frenzy almost fading, so I felt a biz guilty for the purchase. I tried to persuade my son accept the chromebox 3 as his gear and lent me for some years and I almost got it. the chromebox native support google play, let it so unique and powerful. I shifted most my daily usage onto its platform, inc agenda management, financial booking, reading source, watching video, etc. never over-estimates its function. I invited my son lingered 3 days in my dorm for the gadget's arrival from British vendor through Amazon China. I previously intended to spend a week with my son in my dorm. but his mom scorned us when we returned for weekly shower in public spa on Sunday at her house. My son felt enough of gaming streams at youtube.com and rather to return his mom's custody for homework after 3 exciting nights with unrestrained gaming and watching online videos. the purchase initiated by my son's loan then aided by dorm canteen operative woman's ¥2000 loan, cost us around ¥2100 which let me so satisfied and profitable, allowing me budget 1000 for woz's a week staying plan here my dorm. but my son suggested end it after 3 days' rich meals and meaningful interactive on his devices, left us 200 in pocket before this week. we also watched a cheap France movie, "taxi 5" on Saturday. all blockbusters denied by PRC authority, we unable to choose a quality one. we dined hotpot after cinema, in a drizzle dusk. this summer in Qiqihar exceptional rains let it cooler than ever. I even put on a coat shirt last night in my dorm against chill. dad God, now almost dust down with chromebox, I relentless with it when it hit road from UK. thanks for the finance and logistics. with it my workload more efficient and our informative environment more secured. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. my son, woz, more engaged in his Junior middle school schedule. grant him his satisfying performance and reward meaningful. fill my life with interests and enthusiasm. lead us vision our mission bounds. rid me off the sinful ugly lesbian in my neighbor room, where never occupied before surveillance and profanity.

Jul 17, 2018

dreamed with my alumni, likely 3 or 4 members, some with family, in traveling from Beijing to Tianjin, my university campus, then to our hometown, Wuhan, central China. they are likely my senior middle school alumni, esp some studies harder than me and enrolled by more elite university like Peking Univ., or Tsinghua Univ. one of them with his daughter while I always felt honor and glory with my son in heart in dream. the alumnus likes details, so we check our package times and times, esp ticket and private items. I later gave up and just let him to take care of those stuff for me. traveling, once so focus demanding for otherwise you will punished for missing out line so heavily that I sensed in dream again the unrest and changes uncertain as well as our future unborn promising. this is a clean and clear morning, after last night rain. I wondered about my miserably separated from my son and who exerts behind. Last Sunday I told my son I reviewed history of his mom's mother's intervene with her elder sister, a witchy fox, just after his birth, tried to keep my baby from my reach. their plots long time aiming deprive me of my son, which still on going.
after breakfast I tried to read and re-napped due to sleepy. I visited in dream a guy likely my alumnus Peng Jinglei. he worked in a remote area in PRC likely Xinjing. we first met his father-in-law and his son. his naughty son soon broke my glasses. the grandpa tried to repair it while his daughter returned from her school as she is a teacher. when I teased the boy with English words, Peng returned and exchange our review on each life since graduation. Peng likely satisfied by his life and cautious upon our visit. when wrote this blog, I recognized that the guy can be a QRRS colleague, who now a high rant manager in QRRS. he migrated from Xinjiang after graduate and later moved his old parent here with him, away from the turbulent western area fluctuated with PRC army farmers. he married a cadre's daughter in QRRS, a SOE enrolled us same year and lately didn't have child. he might lead a careful life for his father-in-law might be as bossy as once. his father-in-law in dream reminds me he can be another elder, my son's mom's lesbian girlfriend's dad. he once be an educator, now had some skill and knowledge as middle class, but as I claimed once in my blog, no one in their elder respectable in sinful PRC except my passed dad who fought whole life and maintained humble in his lonely retirement in the village, Zhudajiu, offspring of Emperor of Ming Dynasty.
this 2 dreams so vivid that a bit strange in my recent life. I more and more lost patience and faith in dreams, once so meaningful and promising. God dad, I recently so hateful upon my life which bored me into tears. bring me sooner my Royal China for 1109 years in future world foresight. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for my aging and children. grant us financial ready for glory of the Son and his people, his family support. affirm faith in praying heart, and glory of more achievement ahead unfolds.

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

gift in rains seasonal bounty.

Jul 12, 2018

these days very sleepy, esp amid moisture from rains. last night it again thunderstorm. the rhythm really beautiful! I had to choose from online radio music or the nature gift, and finally I muted my artificial speaker and opt out rhythm outside in late dark silence. the rains is so rich that my quilt in decades first time turned wet and a bit uncomfortable. God dad, it's so good. this week I also researched new chromebox product line and felt high time to equip myself one. in almost a week I thought it over where to fund it, till holy message let me give up till I my own can afford it. It's sad to bye from it but more reasonable, for most computers we had still in their support life cycle within next year. I love them, and would easily let them retired. the night before yesterday I felt too happy to waste, so I buzzed my 3rd elder sister. her son again seemingly unhappy with my call and likely deterred it. when I talked with my sister, she also seemingly in unrest. now I saw possibly their family in trouble: her daughters-in-law turned hostile to her. their lesbian tendency puzzled my sister and her sons. the wives lost vision and discipline, while my sister and her family inexperienced. in latest lunar spring festival we stayed together back to 2016, I should noticed the unbalance of harmony but I usually don't probing. God dad, the sin of fallen women in my life taught me lesson already. I hope glory of my family, under title Zhu and Crown of China Empire, didn't hurt those little wives. God dad, care my relatives in need. and heal those envious hearts in shine of holy.
these days also might be hard for my son, who just entered his summer vacation while I let him wait for August to visit and linger my dorm for couple days. his sinful mother again attempted to censor it and probably set hurdles. while I busy with financial supportive, I saw so many hard while exciting moments ahead. God dad, our hope is your mercy. let summer 2018 arrives our hearts that praying for growth. in this tipping world torn by trade war and hate war, let's reunite in one in unity, or consolidate us in common sense of future non-disputable, for coming world of my title, of Holy blessing, wouldn't be scattered anymore. (shits! PRC surveillance might broke my pc, here again during my writing broke down my internet, which never happened in 2 weeks after failed attempt to punish over our new equipment last 2 months.)
It is the most beautiful summer since I settled here for near 30 years. while the season is swift here on higher altitude, I hope sooner arrival of the sultry, and lingering season of beautiful female flesh and sunny skyline. God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China, and my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. grant me another chromebox for its hyper-system above chromeOS and Android. in foreseeable future, google will bring 3rd OS merging Linux, Android, ChromeOS, let us affordable for the wonderful experience google brings. in my son's coming visit, let me afford a more satisfying arrangement of dining, play, exercise, and pure gathering. thx dad God, in this cloudy morning.

Jul 6, 2018

dreamed first I shopping online at jd.com, Chinese copycat of amazon.com. I detailedly dreamed to fill its form, and a female helped and checked it. I always distrust the e-commercial site, whose founder is a graduate majors Literature from Peking Univ. and almost my peer. his family name is Liu, a domineer name in China since first native Chinese Empire, Han Dynasty, founded after their title. then dreamed in a Zhu's village, but not my hometown, where also all villagers under title Zhu's, who contributed to last native Chinese ruling Empire Ming Dynasty. I saw their leader summoned and ordered youth team, woman team, etc to execute different tasks and heading to different destine outside of the village. there were hundred people there under command. this is a pale morning, I believe coming a sultry summer, even might be sooner of the heat due to here higher latitude. last dusk I reviewed once upon a time, an infant held by an old woman watching I buying snack from nearby dorm gate vendor. I thought my snack too cheap so I didn't share with him after the snack cooked. I felt I should better offering him the snack but I thought it was too cheap and he is enough, so I just walk away with my snack. when I regretted and returned to dorm gate trying save my error and buy the infant another, they had left. I was so sorry that I still remember it. then I prayed God to allow my redemption. then I thought my son's neighbor kid is an innocent kid, from his childhood I still memorized, even now he more turned like his dad, physical ready to bull those weaker. so I prayed God to allow my inviting him dining out once more with us and I felt we were granted. so the night I buzzed my son to inform the neighbor and made it ready. my son nodded while his bitchy mom aside scorned and opposed as usual. God dad, let the insane woman go away from our agenda, turns back to her dirty and sinful lair. we also intended to watch movie this Saturday now that PRC surveillance deprived the summer vacation all blockbuster. till yesterday we found cheapest ticket for a movie is when it just on show; if u missed it, you will pay far more to review it. so I persuade my son pick a less hot movie from their cinema season rather than catching up old one, 'incredible 2', and we did, that would be 2 weeks later for us going cinema. this week I saw so many bliss and boring in my current life. I had to wait and wait for glory, for coming gathering of achievement. my life almost half empty to fill, for backup view of the vein creates. God, dad, if I meant to be secondary, let my life humble. in this rain season, I had sipped so many blessing rains that was strange in decades. I saw my hometown dream closer to me, to my destine. show the world, esp Chinese, my privilege upon the land, upon the Empire of China, under title Zhu and my glorious ancestor. bring me sooner my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, and my new family, Royal China. enrich my earth life with lives and meanings. thx dad God.

Jul 2, 2018

passed week is the most financially gifted period in my life. first I got an installment from Alipay for my son, woz's new mobile to replace his worn 2 cellphones. then the vendor, Asus mobile, refund us ¥800 even lately reached us. then my younger brother offered us 200 as his payment to launch a conversation with me. then my nephew, ie. 1st son of my best beloved 3rd elder sister's, who operates an online clothes store at taobao.com, refund us 500 after we sent him 400 for thanks he bought us clothes. I used it to renew our domain, zho.io for 2 years. my son didn't pay enough appreciation to those new clothes, esp short pants with mobile pocket, under his sinful mom's force, but I urged him doing so and it fixed. we both put on new short pants after shower. his new mobile, Asus zenfone 3, with an international approach and won favor among international developers' endeavor, bring us alternative ROM to replace malware infected PRC restricted OS the devil CCP government controlled in the territory before its scattering fatally. the new OS, Android 8.1, is the latest OS we ever have, that's very exciting and update in tech fans like us. we are so proud of our choice of Asus, with which we now had its 4 products, ie. chromebox, chromebook, monitor, mobile. its refund, out of expectation and our best surprise, proceeds a week. I pre-spend it and pray its descending after exciting purchases including my first smartwatch, pebble v1, and my son's in apps' purchase at google play store. the kind vendor always pacifies me with promise, but I was unease so much. In God's affirmative, I witness the grace in time and fully. my mean younger brother in guise of paying my coach, sent me 200 before launch a conversation. he tentatively delayed promised support of my boarding to dorm canteen in half year, ¥700/mon, as he let me know in the late night talk for my tip on his new adventure to open new business in our hometown against losing profit PRC government depriving his establish in cause of industrial pollution, trying hurt me and hate of my peaceful life. in this morning, sunny and usual, God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China. leave me evil temptation from my dark relatives and PRC surveillance. prepare us steady development of life and skill, and passionate as our zhone's publishing, and woz's gaming and STEM interest. this week also reminded me of danger in PRC, esp here in QRRS. an once dorm lodger, an once graduate newer several years than me enrolled by the SOE, turned dogs and inspired by mafia, tried to coerce me after first tried to humiliate me by ignore my nod weeks ago. he put on black mask half face hidden and threaten me with mob's attitude, on way again my dusk routine jog. He is a bit shorter than me and almost peer of mine while lost so desperate comparing with me, like most common ground once we had under sin of PRC. my dorm room lock likely under hack by dorm administrative staff, ie. the electric tech worker, an old mule trying tear after hopeless challenged me. the neighbor half room of the toilet, formerly warehouse, now occupied by administrative woman, in role both worker/staff and lodger. in that cover the cow easily broke into my dorm and poison me or surveillance me. God dad, I knew the holy protection, still I hope sooner the removal of insecure environment, save of dignity. bring me sooner my new family, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, and my 2nd child. save me from anxiousness of future financial support. grant us light joy in this weekend cinema time.

Jun 19, 2018

dreamed of historical starvation. then in my Hometown joined workers cross ten miles of new industry area to find canteen to lunch. my once Hometown pal, Zhu Zhongwang, fetched our ready food and cooked for us to lunch. he is a worker there while I just a visitor. it was likely several decade ago soon after open policy in PRC. it's a golden morning. exercising people with speaker makes outside hot. last night one of my favorite episodes, "Roseanne", banned by USA media enterprises and I hated its disappearance. It's a good product and my night TV time left with large empty to fill. I chose "crucifier" instead as recently it appears on social media but the mob theme disgusting me, esp futural surreal ability drove me away. I need truth of life, esp American normal life alike. even missing in tasteless but online radio still let me forget late night. yesterday was lunar dragon boat holiday. I had my only meal of noodle. I tipped the small restaurant owner ten more bucks for appreciation working in holiday. on dusk jog I offered a homeless mid-aged man with my only 1 CNY. I had quite productive talk with my son, woz, about arrangement of his gears, esp new Asus flip chromebook for video interview between us. he reluctant to use it well with his due reservation but he is adopting the wonderful ultrabook in my urging. his nexus 6 breaking, screen panel leaving mainboard, so I bought new back shell from taobao.com to tighten it. I really itching to see its functional in coming days. last Saturday is our monthly cinema day. I penniless to fetch my son from his piano class to cinema at No.1 Supermarket of Qiqihar. the aunt of his mom visiting and accompanied the grandma to escort my son's lesson. QRRS, my once workplace, distributed a free food coupon so I shifted it to the grandma and its seemingly graciously on time. we watched "Jurassic park 2" and it was almost a blockbuster. but I always inspired by spirit, not animal including wild and astonishing huge one. after movie dinner was hotpot. I penniless and woz forgot to bring his wallet on which I counted. I blamed him for unprepared. PRC surveillance likely hated my coaching power in sms exchange with my nephew and my younger brother, both has their sufficient small business, so they hacked my phone to ruin my texting: it kept refreshing screen in about twelve seconds and let input method constantly whitewashed my wording, let composing failing and failing. in the urgent Saturday afternoon in the restaurant we grouponed, the refreshing screen let my transferring money via mobile a nightmare. the hacked android just unworkable. later I shifted it to woz for his smaller finger to click but he even can't execute to evade the failing refreshing screen. so I open my chromebook to transfer money into debit card from his remnants in alipay yuebao. I did 3 times to resolve our problem. first transferring from digital payment tool to bank card can't on account daily but next day, so wasted; secondly didn't prepare enough for ATM procedure fee, 4 CNY, so it refuses serving smallest bill from total 103 CNY I managed to prepare; third time I had more than 105 CNY on account costing 2 transactions and ATM withdraw successfully. my son and I finally rejoiced and we ordered additional dish of mutton. our life just so pinched. the June 2018 saw lots of small rains. last night I first time replace winter quilt with lighter one, and it's cozy. now It's workday morning. God dad, grant us anxious free salary day. prepare us meaningful financial support for woz summer vacation when I will invite him linger some weeks in my dorm. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring me workload adequate in my fifties', persistent and progressive.

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

rain season from dripping bless heavenly.

Jun 13, 2018

these 2 dawns both dreamed of enemies and my revenge. yesterday on my jog route, the old sinister, an elder man, a mad cow, again challenged me physically, took a narrow way in advance me. he copied my route twice, always bragged his mule energetic and orthodox. It really disgusting me but I trusted God the killing upon profane, anytime anywhere. it took me longer to roam when I caught sight of my mission on the earth progresses so step by step and devising broken. God dad, enemies took our road to sabotage our beautiful world's descending. near my dorm, the neighbor room of my dorm, is a half size room previously for cleaner keeping tools, now occupied by dorm administrative staff, a likely lesbian. dorm authority previously never put woman among mans' area, but the cheap cow insisted lodging among all man dorms, just for steal and spying me. day by day it hided herself in the shabby shelter to surveillance me, to profane me. likely she arranged that to take advantage of public asset for private interest, or the SOE under PRC tyrant's direction to threaten me with the trick. as to larger aspect, these 2 weeks quite satisfying: dorm internet access upgrade to chinaunicom fiber optics, whose download speed stable at 2MB/s. upload speed almost the same. I completed downloading OSes on our raspberry pi within 2 hours for 2 or 4 system images. with the utility, I can safely try more Linux distributive and more prepared for Linux world which so attractive comparing Microsoft under PRC blackmail. now my son and my raspberry pi both equipped with more elegant OSes, ready to go further and higher on the ward free informative universe. the ISP in the pass week gradually picked up to surveillance me. it already blocked me 2 days last week, forced me surfing domestic sites includes its homepage, where I found cheap but gracious mobile phone number with modest data plan, 15 CNY/mon. I had already persuaded by its sms to have a free of charge deputy phone number, but later contact refuted me saying the data plan includes deputy card requires at lease 128CNY/mon consuming. but on the website, I saw an independent phone number only costs 30CNY, so I immediately ordered one, in rhythm of rain in an aimless night besieged by deadly blockage from open web. It's so meaningful and rewarding, that I can't wait to add the new asset to all my zhone GA contacts. Monday express informed me the arrival of the sim card and I fetched immediately, even the staff of the unicom missing and handled over her colleague. Sunday I busy with trying enable other 2 GA chrome device management within google admin panel before woz returning from his painting class his mom arranged years. even failed due to google policy, we glad the 2 GA didn't bundled with central administrative which usually bans full google play store access, as status quo. my son uncertain about my blame last Monday upon his adopting a corrective glasses his mom suggested in favor of Chinese so said innovation, but never trustworthy. he tried to flattered me by turning on English podcast proactive as I frequently urged while he always loosed to abide. but I don't care, and glad to reunite him in the fruitful weekend. his internet ISP once boasted speed of 30MB but never satisfying, rather just lagging and broken frequently, likely in PRC surveillance's ordain. I even can't update his Linux smoothly there. each time when I visit my son and launch update, it's bottle neck and upset our patience. God laughs the dirty trick and burning brains wasted among all ghosted communism China wholly in ash.
God dad, I'm so contented by my new internet that I here end this post soon. grant my son satisfying web and rich content of play. grant us ward free web, for otherwise I see only darkness of dictator propaganda, coarse of manipulation of social consciousness. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring me closer my dream land and peace of God's mercy upon Chinese and China, my vested land from my glorious ancestor. thx for this sunny morning, Dad God.

May 29, 2018

dreamed with my son roamed in remote place near Tianjin, northern China, my university city. I carried my passed mother's corpse and search for service to bury it. we were refuted once for too expensive. then near country fair we met Gao Jun, my once alumnus who soon after army train in beginning of PRC campus migrated from our major Philosophy school into Economics, but stayed in dorm of our class girls. her husband or brother inquired our problem and extended his help, out of Chinese taboo, while Miss Gao remained her self-possessed normally among guests in her spacious house in my dream. we likely rested there and waited for more money remit from our relatives, or aided by Gao to settle our funeral. the northern China countryside scene lonely detailed in dream, different from my hometown, central China. last night it drizzled, left wet ground when I went to dorm canteen for breakfast. last night I put 2 pillows in stack and its the highest pillow I ever had with my own, for the cover of my pillar sent to laundry and no replacement. I always admire American family pillars in its episodes, large and soft and qualifies, but never found within domestic market includes online e-commerce. yesterday I half day roaming in dorm, except reading informative web as routine for one or 2 hours. my life more and more turned like an elder's, or even worse, like those retired gathered in gate ball game yard outside near my dorm window view. they found no fun in the game, no challenge, no exciting, but just gather and moving. still there are fights among common Chinese, like the dorm canteen. the operational couples loathed to invest more on food materials, but spare no efforts to advertise, to celebrate its anniversary. the result is fewer and fewer customers. I usually have less than a bowl meat in a week there together. it doesn't hurt me much as a mandated vegetarian, but let me slender. and the business possibly reined by PRC surveillance against me. recent months my throat more and more choked by phlegm, I had to cough hard to spit it. my backbone also turned inflexible: after standing up it takes quite few seconds to waist straight from sitting. usually the most exciting moment in a week is gathering my son, woz, on Sunday weekly. his sinful mom tentative separates us, frequently change my son's timetable to drive my son away from my side. God dad, the drizzle turns heavier. dad God, my life runs full and merry. no matter how sinister attempted to ruin it. grant us our web business booming and self-relies. bring us sooner Royal China for better future. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for my second baby, billing zhu. God dad last salary means so much for us. my worn shoes, which embarrassed me again last raining Sunday when it was wet being handled to spa keeper, now replaced by new one. my son glad with his new chromebook bag he chose his own. God dad, in coming alipay credit returning day, let us anxious free. thx God dad, for surfing hard time so smooth regardless PRC war time preparing period, thx for skipping us from trifle grudge in the failing and doomed authority.

May 26, 2018

this month my salary from QRRS exceptionally supportive: nearly 600 additional totals ¥3600, and my younger brother gifted me ¥200 for update my wrecked shoes. with it, I bought my son, woz birthday cake a dearest one, ¥128 fruits cake titled 和风莓语. we designated praying for Japanese spiritual and English.the cake shop near my dorm and kindly offered us a set of stainless steer cake knife and forks. my son lately returned from his school, near 7 pm, for his school forced even grade 7th students to have night class aiming better performance in rat race entrance exam of elite senior middle school. his mom this time actively joined us in celebration. woz, and all us likely enjoyed the delicacy, fruit cake. after first round of eating cake, my son lent himself to my planned task abrupt, setup his new account in google chrome for easy access family asset book. that lasted more than an hour and wonderfully done. I then left, urging my son listening and watching more English as cliche. on bus station, the last bus line missed. I walked 2 bus stops to return my dorm, and busy with publishing video and photo captured in the ritual birthday onto web till 11 am. in this deep sleep I dreamed 2 kind of different animals, 獾 badger and a kind of Chinese sound like "揉", both like sloth or pangolin. the training and performance of district summer sports game Qiqihar municipal requisites on going now again, near 8 am and loudly outside. I saw in these days how the expropriation costs, esp young lives, their decency and creativeness in change of collective cheap mob. dad, my son's class was lucky out of the chaos. guide us away from burning turbulence of PRC war time preparation. grant us our job meaningful and rewarding material and spiritual. in this windy morning, dad God, let the world witness how plenty our joys, perfections in our living spectrum.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

regular pulse of daily stream turns stronger.

May 16,2018

dreamed in my hometown in a raining night. my mother locked a panther in house, or a lion or tiger. my sinful 2nd elder brother tried to risk me to feed it. I feared and escaped, gathered into other villagers' kids. my mother help me in the dangerous situation. we discussed together including with infants in the village. when the panther released to us, we found safely treated it fearful and enjoy ourselves each other. last night it drizzled, with thunders. in the morning it was sunny and I sunburned my quilt. then I busy with sorting my contacts in google accounts and on my mobile, till I found it drizzling. I hasted to collect my quilt but the dorm keeper woman shown me my quilt already shifted by someone from yard to dorm corridor sofa. it smells with sunburn crisp. seemingly I should appreciate the anonymous helper, but why he or she knew that was my quilt or at least belong to Dorm No. 1, not other dorms share the central garden? last Sunday my son first time brought his new flip chromebook out when we dined out before shower. for he changed his bag, he forgot bringing wallet with. we penniless and without membership card we blocked from checkout the spa. I first haunted nearby barbershop to borrow ¥30, but the mean hair dresser to whom I tipped quite some times refused. my son had to return to his mom's house to fetch our membership card. however, after returned home after the frustration, my son now more enjoys his flip chromebook, esp android games on it. that's Mother's day. my son's mom's girlfriend visited, with her son there to receive tutorial from my son's mom. the sinful woman preferred my son's bedroom and lingered there recharging her mobile when I arrived the house where my son absent, in his painting class elsewhere his mom arranged. I even doubting the woman spying my son's gadgets there. she soon shifted to bedroom of my son's mom's, when I launched to prepare my son bootable rescue disk with ubuntu 18 and windows 10 installation iso. we dined in Japanese cuisine noodles restaurant. the boss' son at a loss over my son's new ultrabook, evaded gathering my son but sit neighbor table. his dad queried our new gadget and that's all response we received in our gear's first public appearance, except additional some gaze in public spa from graduates of nearby colleges. woz's old dell notebook, aided by my Nankai alumni decade ago as woz first laptop, shifted to his mom. still the vengeful woman tasteless, complained my eating her grapes her mom prepared at home, without least gratefulness. Dad God, so many shameless mob on the earth. like this monthly cinema experience, "avengers: infinite war", we need cleanser, need decent extinguisher. the world of plants and animals, the Nature already can't afford human rubbish population, largest wastes on earth. grant us vision to discipline, and unbearable pains of breeding rat race, and disgusting animality among humanity. grant us sooner vision to rid off nasty Mideast, African, Hispanic cheap human cattle. enliven again our mother Earth, our Nature sustainable human friendly. bring me sooner my Royal China to pillar world strategy stage. bring me sooner my Japanese Queen, Asoh Yukiko, to spread Merit of Japan, heritage of the Empire. grant me financial independence in this coming salary day. rid me off my mean younger brother, who promised to aid me to buy a pair of shoes then next day ate his own word and cold shoulders to my adversity. let my coaching in air in wind and free any obligation between us to dilute my disappointments. thx dad God, in this misty morning.

May 8,2018

dreamt at my hometown in my summer school vacation ran a startup, cake and dispatching shop, like pizza hut. the shop likely founded by our neighbor, the first son of village Mao era teacher and a long time secret copycat of my dad's role model. later I found there is another established competitor, a cake shop ran by 2nd son of village's CCP secretary. they both treated me with barbecue for the startup and trying invite my partnership, esp in the secretary's house the CCP cadre and his first son, my once friend and now a bank manager, appeared, and soon I found the arena challenge, in time and season sensitive. its easy to rotten a new cake in your hands at your cost. last night I saw threat against my mean while stable income from QRRS, a SOE I worked for more than a decade till my breakup in an adventure to gain a master degree of politics. I saw nowadays PRC how people insanely reckless just for a job and its salary. I saw since Marxism and modernization, people earn from job and drove by money, and burning out of reserved. heritage and merit ditched, enthusiasm buried by post. I wouldn't work for a job. I will commit in my vision, unshakable faith and inspire of reason and grace. I saw so many cheap souls, even in elegant complexion among nowadays VIPs in CCP and PRC main stage. the tyrant just whipping hardship of living to coerce obedience from weak mob. God dad, even myself under pressure of my son's mom, to accept rule of jobbing, to support my family under her stinky guide, stumbling and crawling as PRC main stream. God dad, let me work independently, under your influence of life long career of stone works, regardless orders. let me inherit and abide with my nation. let my people self-rely and self-efficient. bring me my Empire of China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring me my new baby, billingzhu. in this sunny morning and newly improving canteen breakfast, let me sing and chord in praises of Goodness.

May 4,2018

dreamt with my son woz on journey. we needed to return to my hometown. the ground very muddy & shitty. we managed to aboard, but soon the driver found tourists to my hometown too few so outsourced us to another bus. then we passed a historical famous Chinese china factory, yuyao汝窑(于姚)as Song Dynasty chartered china craft. that remind me my 2 once QRRS colleagues, a woman in surname Yao姚, and a guy surname Yu于. they both offspring of once PRC privilege families. Yao's dad is the company's deputy secretary of CCP, while Yu's parents is scholars redirected to QRRS implies Mao's training in rural policy.
this week esp busy with updating windows with April 2018 release, linux with ubuntu 18. it's quite smooth, except during my installing necessary tools I was deadly blocked from vpn. last week almost all time waiting our Amazon China parcel, Asus flip chromebook. at first its vendor delayed several days to dispatch after our order accepted. then it went from British to Germany and Poland. then it traveled to HK. then soon clear customs and arrived Beijing, where it deterred 3 times and finally refuted by PRC authority and denied us our shopping. but amazon China didn't disappointed me, I got my parcel next 2 days through a mid man. my son likely amazed by the gift, I accompanied him setup accounts and then left his own to play with the wonderful product. this Sunday I will check its charisma my own. in this meaningful April, my credit debt mounts to ¥1000, including 3 kinds purchases, cushions for my dorm's coldness which results in my painful waist, pants for woz esp his mobiles portable, and wire k/m combo replacement of my wireless k/m which malfunctions possibly under nearby attacks. they all dispensable. dad God, what a beautiful early 2018 for us turns out in pressing environmental adversity!
God dad, PRC's most fatal weapon against our secure informative web is to disable our down stream traffic, and it kills. in recent encounters it occurred more and more frequent, each time as soon as vpn once built connection. ugly dog just out of my door. our dangers in your mercy, God dad. free us from digital wasteland and brutal surveillance and disrespects in the last barking shameless China tyrant. God dad, let me cruise glorious founding of my Empire China, let me enjoy my Royal China with people concerned, esp my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring life vivid with my son, my new baby in my armful. in this summer, let's wholeheartedly fly higher and atop. dad God, grant us ward free web in nowadays siege of ghost communism in China in deepest darkness.

Apr 25,2018

dreamt in my hometown village opens a new canteen, whose breakfast quite rich, including hundreds of dishes. I hangout there and sat aside a young couple to enjoy my meal. my coat accidentally got dirty with food stains there. It's a brilliant morning, when I can't help but first to do is check my parcel's delivery status after got up. unfortunately it stopped by Beijing customs 3rd times. yesterday I let amazon China called me to assure my parcel on its delivery road, amazon did and assured the forecast of arrival: we will receive our parcel on Friday, Apr 27th, out of its website warning of returning our ordered chromebook back. this week I mostly relentlessly expecting arriving of our purchased gift, and 2 OS, ubuntu 18 and windows RS4, for preparing rebuild our work space. it's not a torture but let you review your life in pale and constrained. my salary also first time delayed to 24th of the month, while usually it varies from 19th to 23rd. so many awaiting tasks makes April 2018 so special. after all time will win us a better world, equips us better in the world changed largely by Christian. God dad, pave our road the goods sending to us. let PRC surveillance attempting defies our purchase in vain. bring me sooner my Royal China, and my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, in time as they matter so much. grant me new monuments in building the earth a more fortitude portal of China Royal and world infrastructural of future. bring more obvious worldview of my visionary. thx dad God, in every ray of sunlight we are blessed with hope.

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

bliss in new Asus flip chromebook

Apr 10, 2018

dreamt with my Tibet artist friend, Benba Chungdak, and his friend. we together build a company. the enterprise grows with our ages. in handling developing issues we stepped into middle aged and each have child. I saw touching moment daughter with dad. This week quite boring, for I relentlessly need assured our ordered Asus chromebook smoothly delivering to us, evade PRC customs’ deter or domestic censorship. Life can be easier with help from our dorm canteen’s aid, the woman loaned me ¥700 to pay alipay credit debt yesterday. It not only remove the tension, also let my ability to handle something in failing prison of PRC economic winter. Yesterday I also seeking equip our usb-c reader a tf card for data transferring and storage. woz's coming Asus chromebook has 2 usb-c ports while normal usb only one port, so I preparing shifting my usb and usb-c reader stick to him, now that his Intel NUC shifted to me and equips me a build-in card reader. We are migrating from usb stick to sd card. I long time intending upgrade our backup card storage, but always felt economically unfit for it. Now I am almost assured worthily to invest it. I also intended shift our old Dell notebook to my son’s mom, the small man long time complained her notebook I left her without battery, even I told our notebooks’ battery were shits. I even guessing she brought Trojan horses from PRC surveillance into the dell notebook my son and I used to play steam games, for she insisted worked on the notebook even she already had an old Hasee notebook I left her, after all my warns not to mess with our dell notebook. Now she can has a taste of her own bait. I felt glad to rip off the dell notebook, for it frequently refused windows’ patches. It also lagging in booting up, even running programs OK. After move it away from my son’s bedroom, my son will has a new desk to work on. I long time preparing my son an office space, but the dell notebook always occupied one. So my son usually wrote homework on a cheap table his mom used for her profiting tutoring. Now with 2 light chromebooks, my son has 2 fix computer desks to work on. that’s I long time intended, against his cheap mom's efforts to put him and her students in slavery situation, where only main business is tutorials, like in Mideast or Islamic.
God, dad, its a yellow morning now. Sandstorm more and more common scene now here. Looking into future, so many holy discipline including severe genocide ahead. Quite some races deserve no future but hell. God put the chosen breaks through hardship and wasteland, and deserted. Bring rest to breed racing. Bring me my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, into tangible world. God, dad, bring me to top view of the canyon.

Apr 6, 2018

first dreamt kill a bear. I don't want to hunt but soon I slayed it in fear of prey. then dreamt in my hometown just after wedding. I enjoy enviable sexual life with my bride, each time I never anxious but just insatiable intercourses. yesterday is our monthly cinema time with my son, woz. we watched blockbuster "ready player one". we almost missed it with fake Russian product, snow queen 3 which mimics frozen 3. we watched frozen 1 and 2 and impressed, and without hesitation we chose the snow theme movie, till 2 days before the lunar Mourning day I found we cheated by the Russian title. my son soon accepted my suggestion of change. and that's rewarding. I think "ready player one" is quite impressive in visual presentation. before the movie, I told my son my decision to put investment before deposition, in risk of CCP tyrant seizure. we never felt unease upon saving woz some pocket money via alipay's yuebao, till last Sunday we found yuebao restricting our automatic deposit, delayed more than ¥800 in cash account without profit for months, due quota restriction new CCP puppet financial regulator setup aiming to disable or malfunction the world largest fund. then I saw PRC tyrant relentlessly constrains civilian's cash flow while under table covertly leaks into its underground reservoir. I felt threatened and need to take action rather than passive been robbed. also in past months, our intended purchase, convertible chromebook, turned more dearer and scarcer on amazon China. we need response swift. my son agreed. after movie we ate hotpot near the cinema. the peanut sausage ran short, and a neighbor cheap mid aged man occupied himself unnecessary a full bowl of it against shortage. we used groupon and additional cash for more mutton. after returned to my dorm, I felt the rich meal let me energetic and delayed to sleep. I checked my purchase target monitoring and amazed by new chromebook on sale. I at once ordered it and paid by my deposit money for woz in last half year, near 2000 CNY. its so satisfying that I watched lately another episode of "the office" for completion of the wonderful lunar Mourning holiday. now last night dream is so sweet that I never know aging. God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for I waited decades. grant us one more child for prosperous Eastern Asia. thx God, in this sedative morning.

Apr 2, 2018

dreamt history creation by 2 pals in three kingdoms period Chinese well known. one of them is Yuwei, with his family ie. his mother and young wife, forging his southern China country from scratch. I witness his charisma, his conquer over territory he bestowed. another guy's expanding his national border near southeastern China also in details in dream. its a sandstormy morning. last week I ripped one of zhone cms, https://agarten.in ,replace it with a tool site, a project management site. even still in experimental phrase, I already felt satisfying. my son last week installed an old famous file explorer on his android. I deleted it at once, and warn him the dangers of PRC government overtaken tool softwares. the file manager was a wonderful tool, but now manipulated by PRC government for large scale surveillance, like it purchased hundred of once perfect software tools mostly created by individuals or small enterprises, esp rooting tools. my son nodded. in night we co-operated online to assure his google voice forwarding phone enabling. but it turns out his forwarding phone consistently working for I called his google voice last year more than once, unlike my google voice never received phone call in last year, hence google require to re-verify to enable it. I told my son we should soon seek a grocer near our public spa so as not to lack fruits on our diet. I pray God grant me budget for the delicious food. my son now a considerable smart teenage, but he still hijacked by his sinful mother, who relentlessly challenged me and my parenthood. I warned my son not to frequent hospital, but last sunday soon after we returned from spa, he was arbitrarily brought by his mom left their house, left me alone updating his linux. they likely haunted eye hospital for my son's sight, on which the small woman recently fantastically obsessed. I told my son I day by day upset by Chinese teachers. they killing creativeness and smother orthodoxy. what a low moral they wholely obtained! even worsen than PRC government employee!
God, dad, a new month starts yesterday, when we enjoyed downtown hostel pork steak so much. this month my credit debt again near 600 CNY. help me clear our debt and deal our daily budget lightly. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for spring 2018 just budding new life and hope of life. bring my son his enjoyed game and ready office space he will step in with affirmative. thx God dad.

Mar 23, 2018

dreamt tutoring a kid playing game, in which there is a scene of lofty gate, player has to climb up to get reward to continue the game. later dreamt of math exam, on which I always reluctant to touch while my son seemingly excels in dream. its a pale morning. after a busy week preparing migrate my work space from acer chromebook to dell chromebook, this week I mostly resting. the solution expanding chromeOS side by side with linux works perfectly for me, with installing a tool crouton under chromeOS dev mode, I now enjoy security of google ChromeOS and versatile open world of linux, which so powerful and robust. Reviewing my clumsy linux experience so far, I see clearly windows losing. Bill Gates in half century spend half world wealth to improve world health and poverty is invalid. Its no hatred, but discipline or natural giveup Holy spiritual glad to see. Now Trump sees it, and Gates persuading USA president to continue to adopt the fake savior. God, world at large, esp abnormal humans desperate for their abnormal world staged so many ugly shows including obesity, LGBT, anti-society, etc. there are so many abused food/drug eaters in developed countries while average people encounter hanger everyday. Killing in mid east mostly exchange for food, but so many unfair between healthier living and sick food/sex/drug addictive. God dad, the Earth citizen needs merit based cleanse, like Trump’s new migration law. If man can’t live a healthy life, lives him hell. So does to drug esp opium takers, and breed racers. US entertainment circle stealth too much applause and selling too much cheap and unhealthy idols. USA esp weak democrats promoted too much cheap democratic notion upon world among which quite some disqualifies, esp hate culture and competing in breed nations, like Africa and Mideast. World crisis now mostly due to cheap human cattle, which noway to preceding nor prioritize animal and grand nature. cheap hurts but decency nutritious. A society can’t self-rely nor self-sufficient, a nation wiped from its land like Mideast. But Europe and USA still missing rule Israel learns thousand years, they let enemies inside.
God dad, its a new salary day now, but yet QRRS release my salary so far. Yesterday I review my near 2 decades in QRRS Dorm, my youth and loving among PRC most exciting era, so called open policy period when PRC penniless but polite peasants adopted to work mills by Capital American buyers, on the land my ancestor bestowed. I saw my old friends here and found their hidden gay. I found my seeking family esp offspring efforts in all my half life, on this fresh land I chosen to pick up and grow upon to polarize. God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me sooner my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. Grant us offspring new to Royal China. Blessing me new monument to develop zhone web. After workday I will fetch my son visiting my dorm monthly, permits us joyful reuniting this afternoon. Thx God dad.

Sunday, March 11, 2018

in solemn confidence.

Mar 11, 2018

Dreamt in class where my once junior middle school language teacher offering his lecture. While his speech too boring I cheated to cover my reading my own material. When he stepped down to check our listening, my heart beat heavier. But fortunately he didn’t found under my text book there was another book I hid my pleasure. I felt shameless the middle aged male teacher demands students so much to catch his lesson up while his teaching so boring and meaningless. This week half waiting my alumnus’ aid which never happened to buy my own another chromebox. I previously planned to equip my son a new convertible chromebook, but on Wednesday I was attracted by chromebox which cheaper and its ethernet interface card more powerful than a wireless card. I was inspired by the idea and pains brewing me in wanting upon which I knew on my own I can’t realize. So I resorted to my senior middle school alumni for fundraising 2000 CNY. One of them once the best scored and enrolled by most privileged PRC university, Beijing Univ, and visited my campus in Tianjin and slept my bed, to whom a year ago I entreated for aiding me to flying to visit my kid brother in southern China and got his ambiguous refusal. So this time I thought there was still cherished memories in our friendship, and his job likely earns much more than mine, for his major is international law or economics and worked in stock market after graduate. But this time, 1000 CNY as I expected solely, he again refused me and blacklist me without any word exchange, after my 4 sms and 3 buzzes sinked. I didn't bother contacting any other alumni after the denial. In the day after International Women Day, a snow continued after days break in my clueless reaching out. I still didn’t understand after looking into why someone put money before friendship and moral kindness. Is PRC economy turns harsher day by day for the once academic leader turned so mean? Or my enviable cyberspace harvest in a decade's blogging as well as holy missionary under God’s shine turns the wellbeing alumnus hatred and bitter to turn his back indecently to me? After the refusal I busy yesterday all day on my raspberry pi, preparing it more liable and useful. God sharpen my sight that my workspace already spacious and reliable, after all attempts constraining. In this dawn I felt hard to sleep, and bliss ahead so thick. So I got up before 6am to blog, for today would be a blessing exciting day with my son, woz, in our busy agenda learning and studying.
Dad God, in your holy guide I got to know weakness among highly succeeded people include my alumni. Guard me to steer through wasteland in PRC where cheap souls compete to extinguish heroism. Bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko for clearer vision in eastern Asia landscape. Grant us happy weekend reuniting as usual.

Mar 6, 2018

dreamt my publishing career gets happy ending: my novel published or my literature awarded. my passed mother accompanied me to return to my hometown, where new houses building. quite some villagers congratulated me while myself also enjoy my success: my narrative style studied by scholar and critic. This is a sunny morning. I still feel not prepared to utter anything. Last week is interesting: I first time settle up arch linux, whose heavy command based renew my experience of Microsoft dos decades ago. Linux really amazing! And by chance we also experienced raspbian, another wonderful linux distribution. Both speedy on our raspberry pi 3, which turns into a full functional pc from educational toy. I really enjoy the gadget. Arch linux so impressive that I decided to install it after my old chromebook’s EOL met. This breakfast is satisfying, while the operative man frequently coughed and spit during serving let me anxious his illness infectious. His wife promised to wash my clothes but likely now the task shifted to a mid aged woman works there. They kept my dirty clothes for 3 weeks there intact. And yesterday the woman washing claimed she brought my clothes home to wash, not within the dorm nor its canteen. So they cheat me, and let my clothes more vulnerable to virus, privacy more looser. God dad, this week my alipay credit debt amounts to near 700 CNY, help me in these 2 months, whose income usually inclines lower due to corporate earning less after lazy lunar holiday. Dad God, time turns much harder to kill in my aging, my life more miserable in waiting, waiting for gathering, waiting for glories, even waiting for a better meal with my son. Bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me sooner my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, to accomplish my earth life. Grant us another child, whose cyberspace I preparing since last year, billingzhu.com. Thx dad God.

Mar 1, 2018

dreamt doubting printing technology, how woodblock picture prints color accurately represented by oil. then through a magic hole, I entered a legendary world where I turned from tiny figure to a hero with sword to revenge. he refused help but judge by his own to murder his historical enemies. I was astonished by dangers and thrills in the master protagonist encountered in his brave world. Lunar 2018 first snow lasted 2 days. This morning when I went to dorm canteen for breakfast, its cover much thicker than yesterday. Quite some dorm administrative women outdoor cleaning road. Its so beautiful! And my breakfast is satisfying, esp sugar pie served first time after spring festival holiday. The day before yesterday, I worked continuously near 40 hours to rebuild portable workspace on my ssd and raspberry pi. After successfully got new oses ready and backups sound, I slept in chair when watching episode which lagging due to internet under PRC surveillance. In the night I slept sound, till next noon I got up directly to canteen for lunch. PRC tyrant attempted to rewrite rubber constitution to pave for his life time dictation, which arouse large scale debate among Chinese as well as world stage. Chinese people usually begging their living tiny space, not much social storm. But the communist tyrant wanted to humiliate Chinese now that the rubber constitution didn’t ban unconditional ruling power, as ghost communism put into fake republic leader. Chinese is a tribe that respects their interface. But their harmonious face torn by shameless power stealth tyrant now dominating the stage, who also challenges all PRC citizen with its death or wealth for last bet. Chinese in long brutal conflicts with nomad and historic lessons taught them not to expect government to good behaves but this time its fate again put in attest, God or Godless, Jesus or their folk pantheon. Review last decade’s poor western China gang’s public show on PRC lawless cheap square, I felt much sure that holy spirit leaves me prepared for monkey mimics carnival for superficial glory. Their social achievement and economic robbery turning PRC a hell of prey and nightmare of smash of minimal, failing most sinful Chinese indifferent of their outer space but their tiny live sphere, bloodless hatch and hopeless survivor.
God, dad, its a sunny morning now. Yesterday I talked with my son online for arrangement of last dining out celebrating the end of spring festival. Bring me sooner my Royal China, and my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for the rest of my earth life. Bring me with my son new study of arch linux and new ultra convertible chromebook. Grant us a smooth year for steady growth, and larger web of world democracy of sustainable.

Feb 21, 2018

First dreamt of my university alumni, Wenxiong, who recently has been a bureaucracy in his hometown province, Hunan. Then I brought my son following someone in night street. My son asked for snack then slept in my arms. I felt so sweet and full of live meanings with him. Then dream we in a wedding ceremony team moving to some places, half way we passed a relatives’ village where 2 cousin girls debated with me in English and trying attracting me or condemned my keeping single so far. Their kindness left me relaxed. This is lunar new year 6th day. Still there are firecrackers explode in air, far away. Yesterday I felt hungry after 2 box of instant noodles my younger brother sent me, so I lately around 5pm ate some rices & dumplings in nearby restaurant and felt satisfied. Tomorrow I will brought my son dine out buffet, where I hope I can eat more. The dorm administrative woman said QRRS will resume to work on next Monday, while national holiday arrangement online claims tomorrow will be workday. My younger brother buzzed me dusk before eve of lunar new year when I jogging and missed his call. When I called back twice, he refuted it. He is posing to ignore me to feed his ego. All my old family, ie, my elder siblings, called by me once before lunar new year. None of them call back. In the lunar holiday I didn’t feel lonely, but enjoy quite sometimes solitude and joyful bountiful of time space. Internet in those days especially stable and usually I let podcast playing all day long. USA gun control debate after massive school shooting arouse students protest didn’t bother me. I saw many familiarity between Chinese 8964 event and what’s on US. Young lives and social motivation on large scale don’t move me much. I more confident in God’s bliss, which more making sense in believing life, from naive souls. God, dad, these days starving left me more close to Christian calendar, and world in crisis of food and water, and separation they bring about with hatred and murders. In this view I am ready for selective survival, out of brutality and cleanse large scale among human cattle. Dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China in better world under Christian, bring my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for life sustainable and gracious.
lunar 2018 spring festival dining out

Thursday, February 15, 2018

for passing and remaining, persistently invest.

Feb 15, 2018

last night too beautiful to miss, that I lingered in front of computer lately around 11am. in mid night dreamt my once colleagues, a technician deputy director with 2 once and life long students who moved department with him to forge their territory. I dreamt they researched logic, one of my university subject majoring philosophy, to calculate their profit and loss. lunar spring festival eve is today. before it all my projected tasks done smoothly, esp renew our beautiful domains 3rd times or 4 times. first time aided by my nephew to migrate from godaddy to dynadot for cheaper price of renewal, then asked help from my elder brother to renew most endangered one, woz.fm, before its price increase month later. 3rd renewal carried last Wednesday as planned long time after new registrar dynadot offers facility to renew more years among zuo.center and others, aided by February salary released earlier than usual from QRRS, my once and long term employer. now all zhone domains sustained after year 2022. that's wonderful task accomplished in lunar 2017. now I intended enrolling foremost task, renewal of zho.io, which allow more 5 years to subscript on platform of dynadot. with the investment, all zhone domain ownership will extend to 2025, or so. I hope it is a rewarding investment, even under possible seizure dangerous PRC tyrant dwelt around thousand times. God, dad, how I contented with my intelligent properties after these sweating year buffeted by poverty and baseless. zhone portal also gathering audience, adsense earning turns more regular even far from profitable. dad God, my pension can be meaningless, esp in debt mounting PRC government as well as dark perspective of administrative deficit, but can I survive the ruin of tumor of ghost communism CCP's reign? can I survive peace and protected interest my building Empire even in its early phrase while with my heart and sweat? I still have near 40,000 CNY credit debt to Chinese banks, one of them, ccb, threatened to law sue last week. dad God, where I can assure my establishment cyberspace under holy warranty, as burnout disease of CCP and tyranny PRC into ash before its arson trying cling to us? dad God, direct me in paved lane to safe breakthrough before smothering dying hard PRC collapse fatally. my lunar 2018 can be more energetic with safety of capitalism in PRC in fact, whose on stage last surge sucking partisan and bureaucratic cadres shamelessly seize the ultramost from sick society, prey of civilian.

yesterday I ate 4 box of instant noodles my younger brother sent from southern China, his small mill. they are quite tasty. when I went jogging routinely, I obviously felt dragging belly, and heart pumping heavier. dad, God, in my life I missed delicacy so much, even larger amount of beautiful girl souls, but I was remained slim and healthier appetite so far. God, guide me toward my new family, where my 2nd child can glorifies my earth life. bring me sooner my Royal China, bring Asoh Yukiko, my Crown Queen from Japan, for joy matters more. grant us sooner approach the anxious free peak where our domains consolidate like the world map, well recognized and vivid as atmosphere.

Feb 10, 2018

dreamt in my hometown preparing to return university, or just enrolled by university. my elder brother and my mom prepared me package and anxious about train ticket. I had seven or eight files need to unpack, to answer a quiz, in which explains a Chinese word, all family happy 阖家欢乐. I myself relentless, doubting first settle 2nd or the first tour's booking, for the destiny needs 2 transference. today likely first day of lunar spring festival in PRC and my fasting period: dorm canteen in vacation now, likely till 2 weeks or 3 later to resume. my younger brother sent 4 parcels from his southern China of ready food which quite relieves my anxious budget for the holiday. last night the dorm canteen also treated me with a more delicious dinner, includes pork and squid. there were lots of hopelessly stupid Chinese aside road burning fake money for their passed relatives on way my jogging after dinner. I had to cover my eyes with sleeves still got dirt in eyes. these week busy with overcoming obstacle harsher PRC surveillance imposed. I also prepared my son woz new opener wifi for his coming party with his cousins from his mom's relatives visiting the lunar holiday. PRC dog system closely watched it: when I print a board of wifi confidential in a local small print house, soon 2 men likely cops join the shop till my left. when I deleted my backup image online of the board, my internet shut down at once for more than 6 hours, till now my usual vpn had problem to connect. review the stupid holiday I feel more convinced that's a absurd event of Chinese culture: it boosts blind trifle celebration, hatred against neighbor and social harmony. human fed by God's mercy, rather than foolish harvest which lunar spring festival signalizes. spring festival at its best encourages laziness and paralyzing of society, running norm of civilization, fear of scattered corporation. in the week I also received poverty aid from QRRS, my once and long time employer, 300 CNY in cash and 500 into debit card. it helps me relieve debt burden to dorm canteen, alipay credit including installment. now my only curiosity is my younger brother's promised gift to renew our 2 dearer domains. if I can deposit 100 CNY in my ABC and Bankcomm debit account for remaining their alive, I will regretless starting lunar new year. recent night I also research alternative chromebook, now that my acer chromebook will reach its end of life in google support term. I want to equip woz an ultra convertible chromebook, with google play embedded. then I can convert my retired one into a linux notebook. the plan is faultless, hopefully after my installment with alipay credit finished and ready for new one. God, dad, feed me in the enduring lunar holiday as homeless. bring me sooner my Royal China, and Asoh Yukiko for real celebration season. grant us 2 rich meals in holiday when I fetch my son to dine out. help me reach end of spring festival sooner, risk free. thx, dad God.

Jan 22, 2018

dreamt of holiday at my hometown. we visited our relatives in neighbor village, where I was bitten by ants. they painlessly gathered herds all over my body. my brother-in-laws, sisters help me after I showered to check if I was cleaned, around a camp fire before leaving the village. some neighbor kids also watched. they put on me so many clothes that I took off many time to assure sanity. the ants' bites likely drained bloods, no pains at all, their size is smaller. I was a bit in panic. Last week too beautiful to miss. My son visited my dorm last Friday, when we worked together trying fix his problem with eclipse C++ compiling. His mom arranged him learning programming lesson, which likely just sending him some slideshow. I tried to introduce him ubuntu & eclipse. But I seldom had expertise on eclipse. So I have to put more efforts to ensure my son's interest as well as familiarity with the IDE, till he really works with the tool, leaving his windows counterpart, dev c++ as his teacher adopted, no where. We almost fix compiling until my son tried more on his own programming codes then compiling errors missing component, which clueless for us. So next day I searched web for more tutorial ebooks to download. I in fact gained some copies of pirated ebooks, and I prepared reader on my son's ubuntu aiming to his reference readily. God dad, help my son find his joy in programming, and persistent on doing his things right & joyful. In the same night my son ported in my dorm, my salary released, ¥4276, such a surprise that we both glad. With it I renewed woz's domain, woga.me to its maximal years godaddy allows. Next day, ie. Sunday, I reset & setup again our google home mini, for unsatisfied by restriction non-English user inherits within google home app. This time I got online chat aid from google, which assured me none GPS discrimination but just Language determines user interface and more choices within, say voice matching, optional voice male or female. We finally got human voice option, more voice commands available after switched to English on our nexus. Its such a huge success that we both glorified. We then dined in downtown hotel restaurant where we absent for 3 weekends, partially their service less attracting. But this time we fed well, porks delicious and enough. In salon I offered ¥20 as tips for wonderful service there, and last time they resumed my missing renewal there, as gratitude. After shower in public spa, I found our cyber shopping, an amazon China parcel due to arrive last Wednesday delayed so far, arrived. Another order, 2 cushions from taobao.com arrived same day. My son was brought by his mom to check his eyesight, so I brought 2 parcels lately around 6pm to visit my son again. My son looking out for the rechargeable batteries badly and we cheer up with the new stock of batteries. Its such a nice day that in the night I gave up episodes watching as reconciliation upon PRC surveillance heavily blocking online from shifting away poor PRC domestic culture products. Dad God, this blessing morning what can compare with your mercy in my situation? Dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China for final solution upon coming crisis in the world. Bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for our offspring healthy & strong sanity.

Saturday, January 13, 2018

in thick dirt.

Jan 13, 2018

last night dirty spying eyes pestered me a lot. I saw lots of sexual scenarios, esp my familiar individuals around me, like dorm canteen operative woman, a staff of the canteen to whom my laundry outsourced. Its normal dusk when I went to canteen. When I felt good I asked some wine from the operative woman & handed over ¥5 as reward. I just want to be joyful & sharing my gratitude. Then sexual emotion likely aroused in the dorm canteen, esp in the 2 women. After dinner I went to joy as usual. On the road I saw lots of sexual scenes mindfully I once experienced when in doomed love which broke me up back to 2001 when I left Qiqihar to Nankai Univ, Tianjin, seeking my master degree. I know mostly women there love me, and I sometimes inspired by them. But I dislike unreal sex esp out of my loved one. I always pray for my peaceful soul partner, not indecent ones. That heaps of unblessed illusions reminded me this week an elder man I didn't know approached me in my dusk jog twice. He likely the husband of an elder woman who frequented me in my jog and some cases when I on way to visit my son 3 bus stop away. Every time she rode a bike. I at once thought in her elder what business can she have for such a busy route. Especially a time on my way to visit my son, she rested aside street and acquainted me. I just wonder how she made a living wilder around the street. I quit curiosity at once, as none of my business in that moment of probing mind. Now I'm almost sure that the insane elder woman in her show cheating me out her stalking me. Each time she talked to me, her husband, the old gay would appeared in my jog and trying talk to me, but I just reckoned him among QRRS workers once known me for I worked once in their factories soon after I employed, and never lingered more in my mind as unpleasant nod. Now I know the man's real ID. In this week after the insane woman acquaintance on her evasive riding away in my jog, the man stealthily pushed his way aside me arbitrarily, each time in dark area of my route. First time he claimed he noticed me watching my watch, which I never did. I mistaken him as passenger ask for time, so I search my pants pocket for watch to help me, the coward at once exiled, likely thought weapons in my pocket. After 2 days disappeared, he approached me again in front of QRRS square, claimed he noticed my usual route against normal people's there exercise, trying selling his research of me, or proof of his stalking. I just noticed aside a car turning around and the gay shamed then scattered again. I never looked him nor look back. The dirty illusive scenes all likely exerted by the sinful couples, they abused my well behavior. From my poor mother's grass root, I always resolved for poor diligent women, but didn't know the difference between normal elder woman's life, and those of out of shape. Last night I struggled to escape the fallen & dishonored, till I research my chromebook's replacement, new chromebook with android apps. I found amazon China selling this kind of products usually blocked within PRC. In the night I dreamt a lot purchasing the 2 notebooks for my son & my own notebook evolvement. I dreamt fought in sea with 2 battleship with same name derived from new chromebook I found at the e-commercial website. I saw fighting area on their functional dissected deck. When my son & I almost purchased the notebook, I woke up for the emptiness of wanting. God, dad, grant us sooner to have new set of chromebook for our workspace. Bring me sooner my Royal China, esp Asoh Yukiko, my Crown Queen from Japan. Grant us sanctum of love & privacy. Put self-esteem among people I concerned. In the lunar new year eve, grant us securer ownership over our adorable domains, ie renewal.

Jan 4, 2018

dreamt of Elon Musk, or Chinese version of Musk. he interviewed us from job applicant. then we take care of his family: his wife and his only son. an older staff also attending his family. his house in a lofty mountainous architecture, we have to clime in risk to reach it. when we returned to his house, the old staff throw Musk's boy onto a floating cushion, for no other shortcut to transport the kid bare hand in the harsh environment. even dangerous but the boy safely landed onto his house. Musk also challenged us with his famous product design.
last night a bit relentless. after dinner in canteen, I first time felt hungry & dorm gate snack vendor out of service. so I bought myself a bread and ate it deliciously after dusk jog & watching TV in my dorm. then I reviewed recent talk to my 2nd elder sister. how she hated me & faked orthodox. I told her about world food crisis report online, she at once responded if I take pills recently. last time decade ago she forced me into asylum with plot with my other siblings, ignored dedicated cares healing. she is a coward, not only she married with a beast and suffered regret all life, also she currently trying push our niece into marriage with her nephew who likely a poor gay. she found her family doomed then tried her best to help attending my kid brother's first son, who turned out much less educated, and left her second son, also a cheap soul, followed my kid brother and successfully earning a life in southern China as my kid brother, and seized himself a tall girl as trophy wife from peasants labor flood there. she consumed my old family so many credit & merit to save her cheap family she once hopelessly sold herself into when she getting old & dependent to my eldest sister who committed suicide in her 30' partially caused by the kid sister who stayed awkwardly in my eldest sister's house after her senior middle school my parents hardly supported. she totally a betrayer & cowardice. then I reviewed all my brilliance lightened so many people in my living sphere, esp my home town villagers, my siblings, our relatives. my powerful influence was a gift of my era, my national atmosphere in which we believe in growth, scientific, and moral uprising under God's shine, ie. Christian, out of people's self-esteem. I saw society mindset and its efforts in molding reality for generations, and my development as the chosen. I review my failing siblings and praying forgiveness, exactly for their painful giving: hurt in guise. I reviewing love of my 3rd elder sister since childhood put me in peace so many decades. our road towards independence past and ahead.
God dad, yesterday I almost first time felt panic of hunger. grant me anxious free upon food security. fed me with clean food & safe life. bring me sooner my Royal China and new family in which I likely bring one more child. God dad, bring me my Crown Queen, Asoh Yukiko from Japan, when it matters us. dad, grant us a peaceful and merry lunar new year.

Jan 1, 2018

first dreamt in school. the subject of experiment is to distill starch from stem, for final bean curd or jelly separated from paper tissue. then found I was studying my Doctor degree course. my old family members mostly proud of me. I likely in vacation and visiting my old family's relatives at hometown, Zhudajiu village or local municipal, Wuxue. then found my purse missing. I was very concerned. then my 2 elder sisters help me search in fields for it. we exam carefully every inch of earth, hoping find it back. I was so distressed that I woke up for it and found at once I didn't miss it, but now I can't figure out how my property safe in reality while when I just exit from dream, I know dreamy concern dissolved.
This is first day of 2018. after 3 hours I will bring my son to dine out in Qiqihar downtown via groupon and aid financially by alipay credit. the holiday approached so quietly that I didn't prepare. I barely borrow ¥150 for usual weekend reuniting my son from QRRS Dorm canteen. after found my mistake, I search web carefully using the virtual credit to buy service online to make ends meet. in half day I setup alipay, Meituan on my raspberry pi and ordered 3 meals in cyberspace. yesterday we dined dico's franchise. on bus I prayed God allowing our coupon working and our holiday won't run short of cash. when we got there, there were not crowd. our groupon handled perfectly. we enjoy the meal so much. in fact, my deficit of meat healed quickly. I told my son Warren Buffett advises that youth should refrain from debt, and how Taiwan people inspire me, including dico's service. I urged him we are blessed to visit the franchise more frequent for it's just in its wane due to PRC economic hard problem, and eroded customer base among both richer Chinese and average Chinese family, for expenditure power just wears away in sinking PRC. I felt lucky to be served by the fast food chain in time when it's still graceful, and sale girls still so decent. I also told my son how I satisfied by my charity activity to offer a laid-off motorcycle worker begging for his hard life alongside street, on way my visiting my son, with ¥5: how its cost efficient & my emotional sanctified. after luncheon, we hangout in RT-Mart for my shampoo & toothpaste. my son definitely refused buying goods for him. so we only spend about 60 CNY there, among heavy carts and long queue of people at checkout. dad God, this week I will arrange installment with alipay credit. promise us smooth operation, grant us to complete paying back credit in time in coming year 2018. bring me sooner my Royal China, and my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for my lonely post mid age. grant us more offspring, esp Billing Zhu 's role in anticipated capable of billing, harmony with the Holy. God dad, in this pale morning, You ignite me with this post, let 2018 burning brighter & enlightened.

Dec 25, 2017

dreamt at my hometown village my passed mother sent me among other new enrolled undergraduates into college. my 2nd elder sister also prepared my package at home. there were near dozen of youth passed the entrance exam & enrolled. my nephew, ie. my 2nd elder brother's first son, also the lucky one. I query the richer family's kid, if he travel by airline. most kid will go to their campus via train, while I already had experience by air with my son recent years which let me proud, but I likely took train for poor economy. most of the village kids carried rice in bag. my family also prepared me rice in bag for dispatching, but I managed to persuade my relatives gave up for campus canteen does offer the food. it's touching moment for my elder brother's children never complete their senior education in reality.
This is a cloudy morning. I at first felt gloomy, for last week I refrained from my son's anticipated joy of new SWAT suit, and a new pair of boots amid our cyber shopping. but my son likely didn't feel it, at least he didn't refute the spitting coward, the grandma's scorn of coat's qualifies being heavier from put on at once the new clothes' arrival, and also his new boots didn't put on right & sluggy for he didn't leave the high ankle standing, likely his mom & grandma refused guiding him. our only meal together in a week, in the downtown hotel restaurant, also disappointing for it cheatingly remove our once ordered dish with rich meat, replaced with poor quality & quantity meat, after some relentless exchange viewpoint upon our insisted tips for the gorgeous dining hall & cuisine in months. that reminded me time to shift away now that our tips left the hotel boss at a loss. but fortunately our salon buzzed in half hour ago, the shop owner settled our missing renewal in July & admit our membership extends nearly 5 months, values ¥200 after dispute arose last week. that affirms my faith in goodness, understandability of hearts. God, dad, even this month salary removed near ¥400 from usual standard, I still believe year end bonus will surprise me. now new year day of 2018 just a week away, and this wonderful christmas, dad God, reinforce us with plentiness and supportive, remove vain in our materialism seasonal heart. grant me treating my son in next weekend KFC or Mcdonald's or Dico's. shelter us from needy & wanting, instead warm us by powerful & functional of our new gears, esp from US & google. thx Dad.