pale sunshine

last night i didn’t linger too much in cafe,and by being restricted to direct connection and posting via post2blog to 3 blog hosts all successfully i finished my routine swift.returned to the dorm i read awhile my blog then went to bed after 1:30 am.i restless for quite some time and worried my hot brain.however i slept sound later and dreamed a lot of building used as prisons,and quite some people tried all means to climbed the wall to evade being trapped in the building or move from one building to another.i also know intelligent youth(ziqin or zishiqingnian in chinese) in and after mao’s culture revolution era all infected with dog behavior.some of them operate till now but still in dog’s behavior.in the mid night i heard some strange sound likes baby’s cries but the dorm or aound can’t holding any baby.when i accepted its a new birth of baby,it ceased.i woke up early and stayed on bed wondering for some time till at 11:38 am or so i got up for lunch.then i ate the apple i brought from my baby’s mother’s home yesterday and haunted outside.i jogged some time on the way to the dorm in the dorm zone yard.after qrrsers went to work i went to borrow its magazines.but the gate blocked its employees late for half of an hour.i also waited there and one of its employees ever cooperated with me to shot program for qrrs’ cable tv when i worked once there chatted with me.then the library found locked.i returned and on the way remembered i should remit to "hope project".then i visited icbc but there were queues there.i then went to post office nearby and remit 222 rmb to beijing "hope project" for impoverished children of chinese less developed area.returned to dorm i listened radio on bed since then till dinner time.most time i wondering our love and marriage in fog.in the morning when i awake i recognized u might had scheduled to study aboard.i don’t know its illusion of dog’s exertion or message directly from u.i tossed in love with u.dinner was egg and green pepper and bean curd slice.after dinner i again listening radio music on bed.the neighbors with a thin paper wall apart from my room stayed there and exerting dirty will onto me and let me have to defense.later some female visited them.i left the dorm again at 9:57 pm to here to write u.
bye.dog in the cafe pestering me so i want to be swift.i love u,never anything can change it.u might venture the western world as u r young and endorsed,but u should know i m suffering for u,by u,and to u.in every boring moment u sensed after bubbles and ebbs,u will find my gaze in expectation unbeatable and evalueable.i love u like the sea blue deep,like the mountain lofty and clear and with dignity.love u is not as easy as pains taking, is not additive as music or paintings.love is my image of ur figure in the loneliest night,flashing and disappeared in street lamps after gases of taxi and dusts of rush foot step of passengers.l love u,in doomed light in the end.i hold u in every brink of cautious eyesight.
bye.baby,my dearest kin,my kid sister,love me,and not let me slide away.kiss u with blossom.i love u.no matter which way u chose or to choose.

dry bright day

last night near 11 pm i was allowed to access most websites i had accounts via direct connection.i was seemingly encouraged to surf lately.returning to the dorm i read awhile my blog on pda then went to bed after 1:40 am.i dreamed in dawn of a guy,likely a qrrs’ graduate employee in one of the dorms,liked chinese boxing (sanda in chinese) training,who can use his leg kick the hot spot (xuewei in chinese) between eyes to let u tear.i spelt his name in dream,but after woke up his name into my mind was fang zhenjiang(square promote river).last night or in last sleep i dreamed my grand father smiling,and stay quite awhile in my dream cordially.i got up at 11:39 am and went to lunch.after lunch i strode in the open space on the south side of the workers’ palace of qrrs.when qrrser flocking to the factory,i returned to the dorm zone and jogged on the rim of the mini garden.then i returned to room to rest.i spent then 2 hours in sunshine.i know girl fang(quare) r well and ready.she now a china marine corp’s officer and temporarily working in the team of state security to monitor my web activities.she ruined the post in the new cafe about my mad history,for she can’t bear the broken story of our love in nankai unv. listening radio on bed,i roamed a lot of the pass time with brewing of love with her while seldom contacted.most songs broadcasted in the radio were love and let me even immersed in moving and forgiving.then my baby’s mother buzzed in to tell me she and my baby finished shopping.i then visited icbc,intending to remit some money from qrrs to "hope project" to subside poverty strike children of china.but only a window at service and quite some queue there.i also was told remission need national id card which i didn’t brought.so i returned to the dorm and picked my bike to visit my baby.my baby was sleeping when i arrived and his mother watching a war theme tv theater titled "pearl harbor",about japanese shock invasion to us.i sat down to eat peanuts with her.but soon my baby woke up and cried for sometimes.after him rejoiced,we played with him and let him glad.his mother ate most of the sugar gourd i bought in the way and the rest let my baby glad.then the grandma arrived with a box of apple and a box of orange.soon the girl student arrived and my baby show his friendship a lot to her,offered her oranges and hindered her from writing.when dinner was ready the tutoring didn’t finished and my baby kept offering meal to the girl student,so we suggested her to eat with us and she did.after dinner and the girl student left the grandma watched tv and we played with our baby and he really liked us to play games with him.when i found tv series concerning topic i cared i left.my baby first refused to farewell to me but later kiss me and goodbye to me.in the dorm i again felt the pains of love with girl fang(square) and a hot brain.i lean to try to cool it and found my link to the japanese girl who once studied with me in a class when i prepared my master degree entrance exam in nankai unv. .i left the dorm at 9:57 or 9:58 pm to write u.
recent snow was the ever thickest snow in the dog year of lunar calendar.it melting in day time but some of them still let the road bumpy.workers sure promptly to clean the road for travel.i like the snow very much.
bye.i love u.dear.i have 25 years with u.ur face was the faintest image in my mind.i love u so much,in every moment looking forward to being with u,with ur tall figure and slender buildup my heart tumbled.u r the most vivid dream of mine i can envision so far.i need u eager than any time.i can’t wait for our warm house and harmony family life.i kneel to the ground on which my grand father’s tablet stood to beg for ur presence sooner to me.i love u,with my heart and soul,live me a life more colorful,baby,not to let it continue being pale,i urged u.kiss u with flow of mountain steam from the most serene valley.kiss u again before bye to u.i love u forever.love me my baby.

bright sunny day

last night in the cafe was dog chased.and it likely will continue to block my posting step by step and cafe by cafe.since 9 pm till now,half of an hour passed i can’t open any web site other than google in my firefox,after restarted firefox 2 times.i spent near 7 hours till 3 am to retouch my portable suit and blogging.returning to the dorm i read my blog then went to bed.i dreamed bush,the american president now,talked to us within a small gathering with his family.i got up at 2:49 pm and finding the sunshine enviable bright.so i walked outside in the open space around the workers’ palace of qrrs.i toddled awhile in the entrance of the little bush garden in left front of the palace,then a huge car approached to clean the snow.then an elder approached me and asking if i was from a factory of qrrs.i then moved to dorm and went to borrow magazine.but the library was locked.i returned to the dorm again and listen radio.then i noticed its valentine day.i doubting if i should go over to see my baby’s mother and decided to see them after dinner at canteen.i bought 3 hambergs and cup of cocacola,which was my baby’s favorite,at a price of 27 rmb with 3 coupon i bought from a customer couples there eating.the man of the couple let me doubting there is a dog,but i needn’t care anyone covert.i also bring a coffe cup offered by qrrs last day but it fell onto ground from my hand when i picked it out from the holder of my bike on the ground of the residential building and broke.my baby immediately asked to drink cola.the grandma there and likely had been there a day,as my baby’s mother told me yesterday.she soon finished tutoring the girl student and we finished eating the hambergs.soon dinner was ready by the grandma but they all ate less.then we couples played with our baby and he laughed a lot.the grandma soon watched tv and brewing dirty will or challenged us.my baby later tired and being milked but after his mother took off his coat he again asked to play.its clear that the grandma determined to stage after 2 of her sisters to challenge us.i also got a view that dog trying to distract me from my direct goat and underwent covert plot in aim to extending its day it can be in charge.i decided to leave when i know i m ready and my baby immediately left his mother’s milk to farewell to me.i kiss him again and again and left.i stayed in dorm for minutes then here first try my portable suit then write u.
bye.i love u.yesterday the magpies crowed on the tree in front of my window in the dorm.i m sure u r never more closer to me now.i love u, in sheer baby’s sensational fresh touch and new landscape.kiss u with beer.holding ur thick hairs to cover my face in touch with urs.i love u,never be more surer.Technorati Tags: Benzillar,blog,blogger,blogroll,love,letter,diary,girl,China

pale morning, snows in the mid of afternoon

last night was terrible for surfing.dog determined to waste my time in the cafe.i spent 6 hour merely let my portable suite neaty and blogging.i first tried online virus scan and dog let it hanged first time.second time 2 online scanner,namely kaspersky and trend, working but didn't find any virus or spyware in my suit.my portable suit can be intact from dog,but also possible dog hijacked the online scanner,which was just an activex of ie.also active access scan was unable,so they hide and see with scanner,just like many occasions they can do anything on it can pestering.they most frequent and straight utility sure the router in their hands,they can let it automatically.they r earning to do that,in the dog rein to earned to dog chinese people.posting also painful,frequently returning failed pages.i insisted hand over 5 rmb as charge.when i arrived the dorm its 1:26 am and i felt worry about if the aunt left for their home and left my baby with his mother alone at home.i rest a moment then headed to see my baby and by the way transfered the materials offered by qrrs to my baby's mother's home.i was armful and i took a taxi.on the taxi i was obliged to talk about my situation and the driver sure intelligent.if not canny.my slept aside my baby and the spying eyes from the southern neighbor let me restlessly,sometimes even woke my baby up.his mother complained a lot on my troubling her.near dawn i fell into sleep but soon my baby asked my accompany to him.the aunt prepared breakfast with pies.i tasted some vinegar with my baby.i ate a lot of pie and porridge.then his mother left for her school.my baby soon asked to haunt outside.i just too sleepy to notice anything.we visited sports yard where lots of skaters and the south park where we caught up some morning exercise elders.we soon returned.i felt better then.after his mother returned i slept and didn't eat lunch.i slept very sound.when i woke up his mother caring my baby playing.the aunt and the liu haunted outside,only the kid son lean on the bed.my baby sure more and more confident now, and also demanding.i cared him with his mother till the girl student arrived.then i walked a mile to the dorm and ate dinner there.i dozed in the room till 7 pm then i came here.till 1 am i started to blog.and almost 5 hours spent avoiding pestering of dog.
bye.i love u.in near and on far.i can see more stern challenge ahead with my web activities but i sure enjoy my part of pleasure of internet.kiss u with right.

pale sunshine

last night in cafe posting was painful.dog's block let it a test of endure ability.i got view that dog not only cost me more money on web but also more time being waste,less time to think on the web.my profile at myspace.com was hacked to error-prone.the day before yesterday it was being down but when i tried in ie near 0 am it resumed.then yesterday it again down.my google browser sync also under unauthorized modification and lost the status i logout last time.returning to the dorm near 0 am i read awhile my blog then slept at 1:26 am.dreams i can't remember now.near 8 am the monitor of my once working place,qrrs, buzzed in to informed me going to the office to fetch bonus and financial aid before 8 am.i returned and slept till 1:08 pm getting up.finding the unclear sunshine i felt better jog outside and i went to the office.the monitor asked why i didn't arrive on time then we went to the main office building.there i was offered 700 rmb and 2 qrrs' uniform then waiting for the interview with the department director.we talked briefly,at the time the labor association chairman of department handed me another 700rmb.after the director left the monitor and the chairman,in family name of liu, accompany me to fetch some material bonus in its shop and help me bring them to my dorm room.i saw their out and wondering if i should sent them directly to my baby's mother's house.but i left to listen radio till 4:30 pm then i ate my dinner at a cost of 4 rmb.the female administrator of the canteen inquired me and i glad to talk about my recent status.after dinner i haunted around the open space surrounding the workers' palace.when i returned,under the tree near the gate of the dorm zone some magpies rabbled loudly and let me wondering the moment of my arm around ur neck near,and my hand almost reach urs. i also sensed the arrangement of qrrs, maybe from the day i first time arrived back to 1991 when i graduated from nankai unv. after the turbulence of "6.4" beijing storm.old man's covet layout still in good shape and history extending likes an mutton sheet.

after dinner i also buzzed my hometown and my mother wanted me took job and visit her next year.when i buzzed my baby's mother she felt not so glad to know my not bringing materials newly got her home.i felt obliged to her.

bye.i love u.in near time i can sense.kiss u with god's touch.kiss me,baby.i love u in the heaven.bye.

weak while pure sunshine in the morning,straight bright in the aftenoon

last night in the cafe being blocked heavily. i merely blogging while costing 4 rmb for 4 hours.returning to the dorm i read awhile my posts on my pda.the rats in neighbor room kept babbling and dirty me.so i read awhile chinese traditional poems on my pda. i went to bed at 1:06 am.soon in the dream i sensed ur pains of ur love and ur penalty to me of migrating to us.i wet dreamed then and woke up.i was heavily upset,and saw quite some omen of the effect of ur giving up to our love.i can't judge what's illusion and what's omen, even sure dog around exerting their coldness and dirty will.i got up at 9:23 am and washed my bed rob then went to see my baby.he was near the 2 sons of the aunt watching tv with their mother.he was told by them to pick me a pair of slippers.i held him then till went to receive his mother who now underwent normal teaching scheme at 10:40 am.i was in sincere low spirit that i seldom talked.my baby directed me entered the sports yard where lots of skaters even the sunshine melting dirty snow.then we moved to the south park,where he asked for some candy.his nose running and the vendor lend us tissue to mop.my baby very glad to play on the mini plaza in the park and laugh and babbled a lot.later he walked to a nearby grocery market.then i suggested to prepare to receive his mother and we headed on.we entered the school later when the students leaving.he then turned irritated and even worse after returning home and was milked to sleep before lunch.lunch was fried beef which they ate last night as the feast of the festival of lunar little year(xiao nian in chinese).my pda's calendar still indicating today should be the festival and i also remembered the day in my hometown was right the day.after lunch i dozed aside my baby and his mother soon left for her school.my baby soon woke up while i sleepy.when he played on his own i started to retouch my portable suit.then the aunt family left to fetch their booked ticket from the railway station.my baby cried a lot not to let me operate on  the pc,and i knew hacking around concentrated. my baby even powered down the pc just when i copying the archive to udisk.however, i didn't scorn my baby after all my wrong scorns to my baby while he is always right.later we mix some drink of juice powder and beer to drink and he liked it very much.then i bathed him.he enjoyed it very much,only when he can't breathe when water covered his face he need my caress.when i wrapped him with quilt sitting in the sunshine on the balcony the aunt family returned and left some fussy comments.i turned normal in spirit,and sang sometimes.near 4:20 pm when went out to receive his mother.he again entered the school yard for the gate was open.i sensed cop in the outpost of the gate spying closely all time.my baby asked to walk on the dusty field track till his mother approached us.then i went to public bathroom to shower.the bathroom changed its boss.and a man before i arrived there being massaged and continued that after i left.another man arriving when i leaving.my baby's mother tutoring a girl student and soon finished and dinner ready.before dinner my baby ate a bowl of wheat food with spoon on his own and felt glad.after dinner i recited some strong phrases and let my baby stay in high spirit.when he asked his mother's milk and slept,i left.in the dorm i dozed awhile,listening radio.after 9 pm i came here to write u.

bye.i love u,no matter how u treat me.i admitted i can't judge ur decision upon our love right now, and i really care about my life ahead with u together.i need true love,but i would suffer misery as the stories of artist.i broke my heart one time and i think i don't want ruin my soundness any more.

i love u,in every tiny sense it bares.love u in sunshine.kiss u with beer.