homed partially, on web.

Oct 12, 2020

the chilly dorm let my fingers swollen again, but God's mercy, my body just workable for daily life, even more time & pains covering chores, like put up, mopping floor, etc. recently I equipped myself 2 small laptop blankets, which effective warms up my knees. previously I bought a full size blanket for laptop, but holy message let me bought it which proving very helpful on bed against dorm chill. last night holy spirit lets me ordered my son a Mcdonald deliver & my son enjoys it even a bot late. this morning in warm quilts, I dreamed likely in a candidate campaign team. I using a tool likely offline downloader to multi-accounts management, simulating actual polling or voting. I dreamed other matters but forgot now them. dorm water supply down this moment, but God, I just got my warm keeping plastic bag filled, and tea prepared. when i got up it's pal and smoggy, but now morning sunshine so golden. dear God, my websites recently under lots attacks but now it turns stronger and I will see the final laugh. I proud of them, so simply while viable. Holy just prepared me readier for it, like database backup. PRC surveillance hired zombie hackers just wasted their money & cheap youth. dear God, in this first clear memorized dream since my re-blogging, I will end it with prayer for my emerging 1109 years Empire of China as persistent leading successful Empires of Great British and Japan. God dad, home me after half life roaming in my forbidden city.

Sep 29, 2020

today a bit special: in half decade i first ate an elegant dinner for celebrating sudden nap in late afternoon. that's likely due to recent thick tasks to restore my son and my workspace, esp brunch framework based chromeOS on our Intel Nuc. this afternoon i even tried to re-enable my todo list management via google tasks and my web app at https://agarten.in. after enjoyed it so much in last 9 years then broke by PRC surveillance, now i know my work experience matters much than any others. i really like my workspace. holy spirit sees why i can live them alive again. my son's workspace recently wrecked by his harshness & inexperienced, I didn't expect to help him restored it, for God just let me visit him on my not real birthday, Sep 27, then i found him joined his school, however, the grandma open the door for me, and i worked there till dusk, reinstall windows, Linux, android x86, etc. when my son returned from school, on dinner table, I babbled my job & he satisfied by my demonstration of new OSes. but still i less buzzed him recently, say, last night i muted all time, even i want to chat him. i saw his inconvenience not to lie to me if i insist to understand him closely. dear God, he needs free space to develop his vision, not responsible for me or anyone in the world. dear God, this dinner let me so full and complacent that I peacefully watched a movie online without call anyone amid chilly dorm room. dear God, if aging really your arrangement, why not I accept it? I felt the joy in peace of doze. grant me more freedom of body resilience, in long run, I have faith greater grace upon me, dad, I 'm bidding you, let my life more activities, esp my infant. thx, dad God, bring me sooner my partner of life. in this deep night, my singer for harmony is truely.

Sep 23, 2020

dear God, isn't today a special day? I decided to reblog my life on my website. yesterday I tried to persuade my son to restore his computers to working status, for that I had visited his house when he schooling with 2 bootable installation udisks for windows and Linux. but he refused again, recently he more frequently disrespects me, seemingly he enrolled by prodigy high school locally boost his pomposity, while my recent ailment, ie. painful fingers and wrest, disappointed him. his mom, a small sinister woman, now fetching him every dusk after schooling, a way to tighten her rein over the naive kid. I scorned him 3 times in the phone but he refused to retreat. this morning i cursed him again, trying layout his inevitable biding my prevailing earth power, but he yet forgave. on noon, i busy with updating my websites' ssl and the result let me relaxed and I buzzed him again, intending ease my anger but he hanged outside with his pal. his short mom cunning as usual refused my suggestion to fix her notebooks in a bundle of reuniting occasion during coming PRC national holiday even in fact she badly needs the fixation. that occurred during my daily jogging at noon, in the long solitude, I saw severe long halt between my intimacy with my son, war before my proving myself with new family and new son, a long promised i shared with my son.
this last 2 years' absence, I tried to evade failing PRC's surveillance, the damned dorm room's chill and wet let my bone malfunctions, after 2 months painful fingers and swelling foot, now I almost see light of tunnel as holy guides. but I really don't know how to seek a new family now that I saw more and more aging on my body. I admit it's a core issue to my life and my self-esteem, and my son's wish. dear God, now, here I'm. I treated myself fruits, oranges and bananas from nearby newly opened grocery. I marked today as spiritual and praying new stage ahead. God dad, bring me my new family sooner, and my new infant. reunite my son with me in glory.

countless sworn in, inc new chromebox 3 into zhone enlist.

Aug 7, 2018

dreamed at my nephew's city, neighbor city of Hangzhou, Changzhou. among crowd I tried to talk to him, first son of my 3rd elder sister's, tring to coach him on business and life. I also concerned his brother in dream. It's a golden morning. last night I first close my window before went to bed since this summer, for today is lunar Autumn creeps in. this month exceptional weighted for I equipped myself another chromebox, Asus chromebox 3, after our chromebox CN60 shifted to my son as his lounge mini pc. my internet frenzy almost fading, so I felt a bit guilty for the purchase. I tried to persuade my son accept the chromebox 3 as his gear and lent me for some years and I almost got it. the chromebox native support google play, let it so unique and powerful. I shifted most my daily usage onto its platform, inc agenda management, financial booking, reading source, watching video, etc. never over-estimates its function. I invited my son lingered 3 days in my dorm for the gadget's arrival from British vendor through Amazon China. I previously intended to spend a week with my son in my dorm. but his mom scorned us when we returned for weekly shower in public spa on Sunday at her house. My son felt enough of gaming streams at youtube.com and rather to return his mom's custody for homework after 3 exciting nights with unrestrained gaming and watching online videos. the purchase initiated by my son's loan then aided by dorm canteen operative woman's ￥2000 loan, cost us around ￥2100 which let me so satisfied and profitable, allowing me budget 1000 for woz's a week staying plan here my dorm. but my son suggested end it after 3 days' rich meals and meaningful interactive on his devices, left us 200 in pocket before this week. we also watched a cheap France movie, "taxi 5" on Saturday. all blockbusters denied by PRC authority, we unable to choose a quality one. we dined hotpot after cinema, in a drizzle dusk. this summer in Qiqihar exceptional rains let it cooler than ever. I even put on a coat shirt last night in my dorm against chill. dad God, now almost dust down with chromebox, I relentless with it when it hit road from UK. thanks for the finance and logistics. with it my workload more efficient and our informative environment more secured. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. my son, woz, more engaged in his Junior middle school schedule. grant him his satisfying performance and reward meaningful. fill my life with interests and enthusiasm. lead us vision our mission bounds. rid me off the sinful ugly lesbian in my neighbor room, where never occupied before surveillance and profanity.

Jul 17, 2018

dreamed with my alumni, likely 3 or 4 members, some with family, in traveling from Beijing to Tianjin, my university campus, then to our hometown, Wuhan, central China. they are likely my senior middle school alumni, esp some studies harder than me and enrolled by more elite university like Peking Univ., or Tsinghua Univ. one of them with his daughter while I always felt honor and glory with my son in heart in dream. the alumnus likes details, so we check our package times and times, esp ticket and private items. I later gave up and just let him to take care of those stuff for me. traveling, once so focus demanding for otherwise you will punished for missing out line so heavily that I sensed in dream again the unrest and changes uncertain as well as our future unborn promising. this is a clean and clear morning, after last night rain. I wondered about my miserably separated from my son and who exerts behind. Last Sunday I told my son I reviewed history of his mom's mother's intervene with her elder sister, a witchy fox, just after his birth, tried to keep my baby from my reach. their plots long time aiming deprive me of my son, which still on going.
after breakfast I tried to read and re-napped due to sleepy. I visited in dream a guy likely my alumnus Peng Jinglei. he worked in a remote area in PRC likely Xinjing. we first met his father-in-law and his son. his naughty son soon broke my glasses. the grandpa tried to repair it while his daughter returned from her school as she is a teacher. when I teased the boy with English words, Peng returned and exchange our review on each life since graduation. Peng likely satisfied by his life and cautious upon our visit. when wrote this blog, I recognized that the guy can be a QRRS colleague, who now a high rant manager in QRRS. he migrated from Xinjiang after graduate and later moved his old parent here with him, away from the turbulent western area fluctuated with PRC army farmers. he married a cadre's daughter in QRRS, a SOE enrolled us same year and lately didn't have child. he might lead a careful life for his father-in-law might be as bossy as once. his father-in-law in dream reminds me he can be another elder, my son's mom's lesbian girlfriend's dad. he once be an educator, now had some skill and knowledge as middle class, but as I claimed once in my blog, no one in their elder respectable in sinful PRC except my passed dad who fought whole life and maintained humble in his lonely retirement in the village, Zhudajiu, offspring of Emperor of Ming Dynasty.
this 2 dreams so vivid that a bit strange in my recent life. I more and more lost patience and faith in dreams, once so meaningful and promising. God dad, I recently so hateful upon my life which bored me into tears. bring me sooner my Royal China for 1109 years in future world foresight. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for my aging and children. grant us financial ready for glory of the Son and his people, his family support. affirm faith in praying heart, and glory of more achievement ahead unfolds.

rain season from dripping bless heavenly.

Jun 13, 2018

these 2 dawns both dreamed of enemies and my revenge. yesterday on my jog route, the old sinister, an elder man, a mad cow, again challenged me physically, took a narrow way in advance me. he copied my route twice, always bragged his mule energetic and orthodox. It really disgusting me but I trusted God the killing upon profane, anytime anywhere. it took me longer to roam when I caught sight of my mission on the earth progresses so step by step and devising broken. God dad, enemies took our road to sabotage our beautiful world's descending. near my dorm, the neighbor room of my dorm, is a half size room previously for cleaner keeping tools, now occupied by dorm administrative staff, a likely lesbian. dorm authority previously never put woman among mans' area, but the cheap cow insisted lodging among all man dorms, just for steal and spying me. day by day it hided herself in the shabby shelter to surveillance me, to profane me. likely she arranged that to take advantage of public asset for private interest, or the SOE under PRC tyrant's direction to threaten me with the trick. as to larger aspect, these 2 weeks quite satisfying: dorm internet access upgrade to chinaunicom fiber optics, whose download speed stable at 2MB/s. upload speed almost the same. I completed downloading OSes on our raspberry pi within 2 hours for 2 or 4 system images. with the utility, I can safely try more Linux distributive and more prepared for Linux world which so attractive comparing Microsoft under PRC blackmail. now my son and my raspberry pi both equipped with more elegant OSes, ready to go further and higher on the ward free informative universe. the ISP in the pass week gradually picked up to surveillance me. it already blocked me 2 days last week, forced me surfing domestic sites includes its homepage, where I found cheap but gracious mobile phone number with modest data plan, 15 CNY/mon. I had already persuaded by its sms to have a free of charge deputy phone number, but later contact refuted me saying the data plan includes deputy card requires at lease 128CNY/mon consuming. but on the website, I saw an independent phone number only costs 30CNY, so I immediately ordered one, in rhythm of rain in an aimless night besieged by deadly blockage from open web. It's so meaningful and rewarding, that I can't wait to add the new asset to all my zhone GA contacts. Monday express informed me the arrival of the sim card and I fetched immediately, even the staff of the unicom missing and handled over her colleague. Sunday I busy with trying enable other 2 GA chrome device management within google admin panel before woz returning from his painting class his mom arranged years. even failed due to google policy, we glad the 2 GA didn't bundled with central administrative which usually bans full google play store access, as status quo. my son uncertain about my blame last Monday upon his adopting a corrective glasses his mom suggested in favor of Chinese so said innovation, but never trustworthy. he tried to flattered me by turning on English podcast proactive as I frequently urged while he always loosed to abide. but I don't care, and glad to reunite him in the fruitful weekend. his internet ISP once boasted speed of 30MB but never satisfying, rather just lagging and broken frequently, likely in PRC surveillance's ordain. I even can't update his Linux smoothly there. each time when I visit my son and launch update, it's bottle neck and upset our patience. God laughs the dirty trick and burning brains wasted among all ghosted communism China wholly in ash.
God dad, I'm so contented by my new internet that I here end this post soon. grant my son satisfying web and rich content of play. grant us ward free web, for otherwise I see only darkness of dictator propaganda, coarse of manipulation of social consciousness. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring me closer my dream land and peace of God's mercy upon Chinese and China, my vested land from my glorious ancestor. thx for this sunny morning, Dad God.

May 29, 2018

dreamed with my son roamed in remote place near Tianjin, northern China, my university city. I carried my passed mother's corpse and search for service to bury it. we were refuted once for too expensive. then near country fair we met Gao Jun, my once alumnus who soon after army train in beginning of PRC campus migrated from our major Philosophy school into Economics, but stayed in dorm of our class girls. her husband or brother inquired our problem and extended his help, out of Chinese taboo, while Miss Gao remained her self-possessed normally among guests in her spacious house in my dream. we likely rested there and waited for more money remit from our relatives, or aided by Gao to settle our funeral. the northern China countryside scene lonely detailed in dream, different from my hometown, central China. last night it drizzled, left wet ground when I went to dorm canteen for breakfast. last night I put 2 pillows in stack and its the highest pillow I ever had with my own, for the cover of my pillar sent to laundry and no replacement. I always admire American family pillars in its episodes, large and soft and qualifies, but never found within domestic market includes online e-commerce. yesterday I half day roaming in dorm, except reading informative web as routine for one or 2 hours. my life more and more turned like an elder's, or even worse, like those retired gathered in gate ball game yard outside near my dorm window view. they found no fun in the game, no challenge, no exciting, but just gather and moving. still there are fights among common Chinese, like the dorm canteen. the operational couples loathed to invest more on food materials, but spare no efforts to advertise, to celebrate its anniversary. the result is fewer and fewer customers. I usually have less than a bowl meat in a week there together. it doesn't hurt me much as a mandated vegetarian, but let me slender. and the business possibly reined by PRC surveillance against me. recent months my throat more and more choked by phlegm, I had to cough hard to spit it. my backbone also turned inflexible: after standing up it takes quite few seconds to waist straight from sitting. usually the most exciting moment in a week is gathering my son, woz, on Sunday weekly. his sinful mom tentative separates us, frequently change my son's timetable to drive my son away from my side. God dad, the drizzle turns heavier. dad God, my life runs full and merry. no matter how sinister attempted to ruin it. grant us our web business booming and self-relies. bring us sooner Royal China for better future. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for my second baby, billing zhu. God dad last salary means so much for us. my worn shoes, which embarrassed me again last raining Sunday when it was wet being handled to spa keeper, now replaced by new one. my son glad with his new chromebook bag he chose his own. God dad, in coming alipay credit returning day, let us anxious free. thx God dad, for surfing hard time so smooth regardless PRC war time preparing period, thx for skipping us from trifle grudge in the failing and doomed authority.

May 26, 2018

this month my salary from QRRS exceptionally supportive: nearly 600 additional totals ￥3600, and my younger brother gifted me ￥200 for update my wrecked shoes. with it, I bought my son, woz birthday cake a dearest one, ￥128 fruits cake titled 和风莓语. we designated praying for Japanese spiritual and English.the cake shop near my dorm and kindly offered us a set of stainless steer cake knife and forks. my son lately returned from his school, near 7 pm, for his school forced even grade 7th students to have night class aiming better performance in rat race entrance exam of elite senior middle school. his mom this time actively joined us in celebration. woz, and all us likely enjoyed the delicacy, fruit cake. after first round of eating cake, my son lent himself to my planned task abrupt, setup his new account in google chrome for easy access family asset book. that lasted more than an hour and wonderfully done. I then left, urging my son listening and watching more English as cliche. on bus station, the last bus line missed. I walked 2 bus stops to return my dorm, and busy with publishing video and photo captured in the ritual birthday onto web till 11 am. in this deep sleep I dreamed 2 kind of different animals, 獾 badger and a kind of Chinese sound like "揉", both like sloth or pangolin. the training and performance of district summer sports game Qiqihar municipal requisites on going now again, near 8 am and loudly outside. I saw in these days how the expropriation costs, esp young lives, their decency and creativeness in change of collective cheap mob. dad, my son's class was lucky out of the chaos. guide us away from burning turbulence of PRC war time preparation. grant us our job meaningful and rewarding material and spiritual. in this windy morning, dad God, let the world witness how plenty our joys, perfections in our living spectrum.

In completion of 2017.

Dec 19, 2017

dreamt being friend of an English noble family, or Japanese host, ie their 2 boys and only daughter. first the boys showed me their real estate, and traditional kid practices around & in trench of their castle, which so beautiful, with yard and fence, and harvesting field with peasants nearby. I commented British buildings usually round shape while Chinese commodity residential block usually in slice alike. they also showed me their parties. then their only sister returned. the girl likely an artist, she put on me new shirt & introduced me to her party. when I prepared to performance and jumping from 2nd floor balcony to hall ground over awaiting crowd, my alarm woke me up. it's a warm dream, without pressure, esp the daughter cares me so much. this week still in wilder joys aid by alipay virtual credit. I try to prepare an installment with the credit, so I in urgency to spend near ￥1500 so as to mount to 2000 CNY installment. spending upon year end gifts really a breeze. I equipped dearest son a suite of SWAT winter uniform, including coat & pants, pricey ￥350. last night I spend another 120 on family photo book reviewing a decade golden memories, esp in woz's growth. for our domain registrar, godaddy defies the credit, I partially shift some deposit from monthly mobile data plan and spare cash for renewing our remnant 16 domains year end. but mobile fee recharging has limit set by the virtual credit, so I only allowed 400 CNY to transit. however, after these operations, I more confident that 2017 will complete without regret. past week also allows us enjoying benefit of goods, like my kid brother aided me a new Japanese style bed cushion, quite soft & warm & economic efficient, I praise it exceeding word. otherwise each morning esp chiller morning when I get up my bone hurts. our new google home mini first arrived amid our seasonal cyber gifts. it's so beautifully functional, enrich my son's spoken English & informative anytime empowered by the moral uplifting American corporate giant. we spend half hour to setup it, still my son at a loss for he was not left alone to accomplish the task. he wants now to carry independent workload on his own. that remind me how hard my situation can be in a tiny world our economy & social circumstance permits. my kid brother this time generously extended arms to me, likely last time our elder brother loaned me for domain renewal even in his hard time shamed him, and his aid grants us to upgrade our rechargeable batteries stock, which prepares us for more e-gadgets to harness even more wonderful modern living standard. God, dad, reviewing our situation, we felt so much blessed: our beneficence hinders nobody, our broad laugh shadows no one. while most renowned billionaires bow to PRC sinful tyrant, confronted by lawless deprivation and death penalty instead of standing clean, esp IT industry monopolies in rats' race. God dad, our anxious free growth might ceilied esp upon my offspring, but dearest God dad, is there anything we bestowed is not under your Holy Majesty warranty? grant us usual path, and merry heart forever, under shine & shrine. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for broader future of our 2 nations. in our ancestors' forged link, we stand firmer on the eastern Asia now and then forever.

Dec 12, 2017

these weeks brewing shopping online for quite some times, empowered by alipay virtual credit. but unfortunately godaddy doesn't support it. so I ordered woz's new boot, google home mini as planned in this dawn. later I will buy myself tea whose deficit last months helplessly. In dawn dreamt of a respected elder, likely PRC general Liu Bocheng. he first in my dream appeared as a painter, who drew golden leaves with Chinese traditional calligraphic painting. then he linked 3 painted leaves in a line to forge a brush and drew more in batch likes painting software, painter which can animate painting procedure does. then some relatives of the elder appeared, claimed the renowned man never query the elapse of his old acquaintances, for he can grasp the information in solitude & void. after woke up I felt he must be old partner of Deng Xiaoping, General Liu. these days PRC surveillance turns more rampant, and insanely. last weekend it only deterred playing back & restricted sources available via lagging internet, but last night it shameless rip audio from online episodes real time stream, and reset cache building minutes each after 2 or 3 minutes, just aiming upset my watching experience. hatred in PRC, esp dogs arranged by tyranny let me sad sometimes recently, by their desperate, cheap and total equipped to teeth. nevertheless my son rejoiced after my analyses of adversity we were beset, after he felt insulted by my scorn when he refused counting cash for me when I handover bills to pay our spa groupon in front the counter. might he thought the ammount, ￥250, too small for his engagement, but I hoped he recount before shifting to cashier, for I just roughly fetched from my purse. but he move them directly to cashier with whom I natively didn't trust. my son got hurt and in next Saturday when we went cinema & bought Taiwanese sweet juice he refused to face cashier. I first puzzled by his refusal, blamed him shy to publicity. then I saw his attitude & reason behind. so in Sunday luncheon, I explained why I didn't put him as independent but a kid. we more or less reunited & the downtown hotel restaurant lunch is delicious. after showered & returned to his mom's house, I let him watch "Rick & Morty" while I massaged his feet. his sinful mom tentatively arranged her lesbian friend's son came over for her english tuition, then my son looked diligently to play steam game with the docile kid while his mom, also the cheating kid, posed to be too busy and left my son unfinished amid game playing. its all right God, dad, just let the bitch does her utmost sins trying tearing my son apart between beast & holy, hership vs fathership.
God, dad, 2017 ends soon. grant us renew all 21 domains with bonus, my only source of surplus in bare living year long including boarding & lodging, spa, barber, monthly cinema, weekly dining out with woz, dearest son. grant us self-relying sooner my online portal of Royal China. bring me sooner my Crown Queen, Asoh Yukiko, for future ahead, for tomorrow reality in eastern Asia. protect zhone 21 domains in our title & promising in their far-sight & far reaching game changing. grant us merry Christmas & lunar new year!

Nov 30, 2017

dreamt editing video as my old career in QRRS cable TV. a piece of video abnormal & frequently freezed. I reported to leader that its likely encrypted. my once departmental leader, likely framed me and side watched for my clueless while playing Mahjong with his pals in the studio. but I checked carefully to assure its not damaged but encrypted, then gradually decrypted the video. after that I posted my resignation notice for the unfriend environment in which the boss conjected with departmental leader setup me in. last night I felt sad for our new registrar, dynadot, so irresponsible to fix its problematic dns setting rule. it domain root record defies matched field, say title and value, but just arbitrary single value. while zoho mail hosting SPF and let's encrypt ssl dns verification both need title "@" matching txt value field, otherwise the only txt value wouldn't be recognized, and verification halt to proceed. such a simple malfunction defied many users' operational inc mine, and caused many complains in its user community. but after near 3 months after my transferation from godaddy, I yet saw fix at all. the boss of the company shows his leisure time with his pet dog in his pool on social media. this reminds me their less concerns with their product on which I deeply hope I can firmly cling to, after departed from godaddy which more intelligent and powerful esp dns setting, just in one shortcoming, too expensive & bargain needed in renewal. I hope our new registrar, dynadot, responsible, steady, but new found let the assumption shakeable. God dad, why domain registry so thin in scale of intellectual property, why is it so easy to be a domain registrar with such a problematic product while remains open service? it shakes my faith in American corporate moral, and traditional Chinese, esp from Taiwan, as dynadot founder is a Taiwanese, more equipped with merit of hard working and emotional smarter.
On Tuesday our ordered ssd from taobao arrived. but last mile express, contractor Yuantong express failed to deliver. I buzzed the agent according sms noticement and the man claimed he no longer in the job for days. so I visited local office of the contractor a bus stop away. the small office jammed with parcels. 2 women there helped me find my package after a quarter's scrutiny. Yuantong once had a wonderful service, speedy & well organized, but now seemingly in deconstruction. for its too earlier to fetch my son from his school, I lingered awhile in KFC local franchise, now under PRC native brand. there I found my alipay virtual credit, 花呗, resumes my limit from freeze. I paid a KFC groupon via the payment tool in a blink. that's so exciting even before I went to bed hours later, I still felt shocking satisfaction. I need credit so badly. in next days I wondered what credit is and how it can facilitate my life, I took granted that it only encourages installment. so this month I will equip my son & my own 3 items, woz's new boot, google home mini, and my tea, all in one installment and hopeful year end bonus will pay the bill eventually. God, dad, enlive quality service in American Chinese startup, esp established corporations like dynadot. bring me fruitful usage of credit. bring me my Royal China, my Crown Queen Asoh Yukiko for better management of monetary. grant me constructive credit adoption, and booming business my online portal empowers.

Nov 27, 2017

retrospect last week, it elapsed so peaceful. but in fact I burning for the coming salary which turned out extraordinarily surprising. previously I thought the year end most financially demanding tasks completed with 2 loans from my old hometown relatives, ie my sisters & brother. but suddenly my vpn service informed me renewal due in couple days, exactly Nov 22. while recently my salary released usually on 19th monthly. so I took it easily. from 19th, Sunday, I looked out hopefully descending of salary till 22rd, Wednesday. everyday I prayed for solution. it was a sunny noon on 22rd Nov, 2017, I gave up canteen lunch and hope my last salvage. but it didn't. then I sought out with blessing resolution for dorm canteen's loan. they didn't refuse my appeal, offer ￥1000 at once. with it I immediately deposited in my icbc credit account. CCP surveillance blocked my trading attempts for a quarter, then went smoothly. my paypal strangely refused my payment, claiming verification failure. so I ditched it and paid via alipay, a mainstream electronic financial tool in PRC. my vpn vendor listed under its transaction log in alipay. might be that's what PRC surveillance demands in defying of my paypal which done last year perfectly. then most wanted salary release notification sms arrived: with year end bonus, I got 4420 CNY. I had previously doubted many times my budget & salary supporting gap, and thought I will save my purchase from returning less to bank credit, which already warned me insufficient pay back & possible sue over me. the main coming bill is my son's desktop os, ubuntu on a ssd usb drive, and gift sending to my nephew whose first child, a daughter just born. I had already refrained from gifting his wedding ceremony nearly year ago. so this time my congratulation really due to manifest. they both costs ￥300. with the powerful salary, I maintained last month pay back standard, 500 CNY each for ccb & psbc credit debt, while clear all my due liability among bills active in life, except debt to canteen loan adds more hundreds. but in the afternoon, when I handed over ￥1700 including 200 to pay a woman staff there for my laundry, the canteen operative woman and her husband accepted without complains. God, dad, what a wonderful moment after so many neck breaking anticipation! in the night I informed my son online the clearance of bills and claimed only left unfinished is donation annually to poor kids in China mountainous area, and bbn bible radio. but now, I want more: equipping my son woz a pair of new winter shoes to replace his wrecked one, and my tea deficit for months. my son's programming lesson arranged by his mom stepping in, my preparing his desktop environment is portable os on ssd udisk hopefully running on hardware of his old dell notebook and intel nuc in his lounge. dad God, let my son adopt my suggestion, first step to master typing via training tools from chrome store on his chromebook. grant me helpful and his prompt execution for remaining aid from powerful google & online courseware. I have almost no more debt in his education, nor in my online business, our portal for Royal China and democracy of China progressive. God dad, grant me another surge of spacious budget for renew our domains year end, nearly 15 domains left. grant us happier lunar new year, and Christmas 2017. thx for this clueless post in firm hint of publish in rest of recent elation.

in threat of domain lost, rejoy on new platform, dynadot

Oct 8, 2017

dreamt with my son woz hangout computer market which located in narrow deep lanes. just after we find a set of converter for video or something, came 2 vendors bragged their new product which has a larger capacity than ours. but we didn't give up, and gradually retreated from the place. last night a drizzle turned clear with rhythm in my dream where I at first thought the sound of dripping is ants' eating dry wood, a scenario frequents my children hometown memories. today is my birthday and I will visit my son weekly after PRC boring national day & lunar mid-autumn day holiday, in which my once and long term workplace, QRRS, left me empty hand of seasonal bonus. I badly need the highly anticipated bonus to renew my domains but... But that penniless didn't fail us, with aid from my sisters at hometown instead. my sinful kid brother, who been a small workshop owner in southern China and acclaimed millionaire, turned off my request of cash in for efficiency & currency with my sisters' loan promised, so did my niece in Wuhan, central China. both cold shoulders with liars superficially polite. my nephew, who operates retail shop on taobao.com, the largest e-commercial portal in PRC, and a promising young man, 1st son of my 3rd elder sister, at first also delayed handing over the loan. but I fatally need the loan at once for something active in boring holiday I can engaged with. so I burst in air with my sister and her husband who casually gathering for his son's new house settled in eastern China. in minutes the loan arrives after my nephew avoids family shame and trouble possible from PRC secret surveillance over me & trenchs me in short & misery. with it I successfully launched transferring some of our most dearest domains to a new registrar who charges less. the saving is obvious: once ￥1200 only afford to renew a single domain, woz.fm at previous service provider, now covers our 4 domains among most priced after switched SP. God, dad, in shrinking PRC doomed economy, and daunting insane starvation casted upon my life on my vested land of China and eastern Asia by CCP PRC, I will support my domains ownership from my food savings, & life support together. we will fight for survival with our domains wholly, never broke. last night I adjust my budget on buxfer.com to forecast my monthly bill in resolution. Dad God, domain renewal crisis seemingly short time passed, but we looking for once and all solution to be independent with the intelligent property, like average civilian's normal possess in a middle wellbeing nation, burdenless. Dad God, in this blessing drizzle morning, I look forward more clearance of debt in year end 2017, and fresh starter of 2018 in new meaningful agenda. bring me sooner my Royal China with my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, with starting finance. bring solider China domestic affair against tyrant upon glooming world war 3rd.

Sep 26, 2017

dreamt at hometown in lunar Spring festival. my eldest cousin's 1st son and my 2nd elder brother's 1st son sit on my shoulders each, and soon my passed mother or other relatives, say my niece found my ears full of dirt, esp peanuts and dusts. they help pull huge long chain of this kind of sticky things inc peanuts, shells etc. I didn't blamed the 2 kids but I don't know why them fooled me. these 2 kids long time been used by their parents trying to challenge me, esp my growth via state education system. in the end, I noticed a half finished new house at outer of the village, on western part near the mountain. I was told it was my aunt, ie the jammed my ear kid's grandma, and her only daughter who already had 2 or 3 children but still under strict influence of her always cursing mother. I felt distressed for they doomed in hatred of my grand dad's family & our glories. It's a sunny morning. but I still felt chilly indoor. dad God, I need ￥1200 to renew my son woz.fm domain, which is due and only accepts annually renewal, no more several years' preorder like other usual domain. its a pain for me not only for its the dearest domain we have but also most tending demands. Dad God, in recent years there was seemingly less and less year end bonus which my main source of income to support my domains' renewal. now my 21 domain annual renewal prices near ￥5000, while the bonus seemingly shrinking. I previously thought the society as well as per capita income will increase decade by decade, but now I saw sterner scenario in which monetary surplus drained gradually. the people and society turning poorer every year. dad God, I still believe development of society, civilian's consumable income increasing, and consumable commodities including domain and websites with richer options as social welfare. but now, God dad, I felt harsher burden to afford our 21 adorable domains. grant us booming business and my biz self-relying. guarantee our domains' ownership over period when it matters to us. God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China to put things right up. bring my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for better management of financial affair. in this lonely PRC holiday put joys in my solitary in dorm. last night the wall near window of my dorm again cracked and shed some ashes & blocks, it turning a dangerous house. save me from the dumping, shift me into comfortable & gracious shelter, even astonishing my new family in new settlement. dad God, put faith in me for brighter future, and my promised Empire never hurries.

Sep 25, 2017

dreamt at an airport with my son, woz. I designed a heading clip for a competition event, but woz insisted adding his work onto it. I dislike the idea and warned woz we otherwise will lose the competition. this salary day full of joyes even there is no surprise in its amount. I paid usual bills and still arranged 2 dining out with woz inc one for his neighbor pal. debt to bankcomm finally cleared. now I looking forward a new credit card or credit limit in my current card resumes to its before late payment, both just for guarantee our adorable domains never fall into expired due invalid payment method. God, dad, Bank of China had refute my application last week. help me gain a work around for the deficit of credit. last week also sees woz monthly visit his dad's dorm after settled his salary. we ordered meal and ate them in dorm as woz likes. woz had his favor snack in the night and watched videos online. next morning we ate KFC breakfast. on Sunday we haunted a downtown hotel's canteen we recently frequented, and satisfied by its cuisine again. then we went public spa for shower. I told my son how I need a credit to avoid dependence upon the QRRS Dorm canteen operative woman, and how misshaped current business of zhone in fact possibly saves us from PRC seizure in messy dominating and lawlessness. woz promised to try to keep ownership over our 21 domains in his future. when he started homework as his mom arranged, I tried a new video game on steam platform. after felt boring and sleepy my son urged me to leave and I followed. I lingered in my dorm till this morning breakfast. God, dad, this weekend I will gather my son and his neighbor pal dining out. grant us a enjoyable dinner and happy time in the event. grant me anxious free PRC national holiday meals, esp another dining out with barbecued mutton with my son. grant us a working credit for domain renewal ready, and small bills capable esp in USD. thx dad, in this morning sunshine among trees' branches, and weightless blogging after weeks halt.

Sep 11, 2017

dreamt my aunt held party of our relatives at her house with my mom. most relatives chose cards to play but I reluctant to join. then some boys went fishing nearby. I still wandering. then they got some fishes. yesterday I dreamt funeral workers secret skill to search corpses for valuable items like gold or jewellery. on sea I with my son discussed with those kind of craftsmen, trying retrieve properties my ancestor left us. then dreamt my ancestor, Emperor and Founder of Ming dynasty, Zhu Yuanzhang, who busy with writing his empire civil law on his own. he treated me peacefully, and his looking was not so ugly as some PRC history books claimed. last week I first time practiced meal limit: I starved 2 lunches in 2 series days. the reason first likely for canteen operator woman not so welcomes me. then I felt ate too much next meal after the teeth cleanse operation. so I adopted fast and intended skip a meal every week now on, including 2 meals in 2 weekends which already executed months. yesterday also first day I felt so painful after implies new scheme visiting my son: once a week. in Saturday otherwise I will reunite my son, but I lonely stayed in my dorm, tasteless online. my dorm internet warded again all the week. and my son's chromecast strangely malfunctional. in God bliss I reset it and setup it working again. I urged my son makes well use of ward free web, esp spoken English and left him alone with his android games just after drizzle & public shower. the Formosa franchise restores service last Sunday, but hardly any changes after near 1 month "refurnish". I guess its in its wade now, like PRC does toward all foreign companies. a nearby hotel's kitchen where we haunt during the refurnish period let us missing its pure Chinese cuisine. and we didn't visit Islamic noodle restaurants for half year, nor Islamic pies, even cheaper there. God, this breakfast in canteen I ate more than usual, for last night I felt hungry. the background music and the adorable woman, the operative of the canteen, let me regret, for they both out of my reach and non-enjoyable. God dad, save me from temptation and useless emotional riot. put me in sole praying for my future family. help those longing get theirs. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Japanese Crown Queen Asoh Yukiko, to my new reality. grant us independent business online and offline prosperous in hundred decades. bring my son more chance of meaningful and joyful.

woz taller now 12 years.

May 25th no doubt a sunny day, in the cloudy week. but since the morning I felt gloomy. I looking for it to reunite my son so much that sores. before heading to fetch birthday cake I trying complete remnant work concerning my future 2nd child, billing zhu's facebook account, which disabled by facebook cluelessly, the freaky dominant social network more and more likes a giant monster. I then claimed another fb account under id billingzh , and added it to admin of facebook page, billinzh. that morning before my work starts, the internet is dead. buzzed the dorm director who confirmed that fiber optic cable damaged by ongoing refurnish in 3rd dorm of QRRS dorm. waiting awhile I yet can't access vpn so I open my compute stick which has builtin vpn under windows. then I found the mini computer frequently automatically shutdown. later probe found likely usb power insufficiency is the cause. in first frustration I tried to reinstall windows 10 now that a month passed yet it can't get its creator edition upgrade, lest intrusion of malware. then found my downloaded iso image months ago broken, failed to install. likely sinking PRC surveillance intervened my download. for time limit I left rebuilding open and took bus to fetch woz's birthday cake booked online in the early week. I obviously felt failed on bus even didn't figure out why. in the cake store I mandated to show groupon code but my vpn on android phone failed to open shared sms logbook on gdocs and last ten minutes before settled. I tried to tease a young girl in the shop, claiming last 2 years when I fetched cake there was only a female, now 2 boys and 2 girls there so it must be prosperous. the girl don't understand but politely responded. on bus to woz's house, I more or less in peace. out of his elemental school the grandma also there fetching him, but soon left. my son in shabby white shirt and told me he just in performance within 20 kids performed e-piano for celebrating some event. and the weekends also shifted to next day, ie Monday will be Sunday agenda and so on. I just can't in ritual mood. arrived his mom's house, I arranged woz to setup birthday cake and shot for publishment. woz also less elated like last year's birthday with cake. when I asked him his plan for future, he again claimed want to travel, aside higher school exam score. that both failed me. exam score less important to me, an entrepreneur prospect of future my son, either, and travel with his sinful mom just too risky and reckless. and he previously claimed he want less travels after last 2017 lunar spring festival hometown tour. he must lured by his desperate mom who sought escape all times. he didn't eat much birthday cake I bought, which likely bigger and dearer than last year's. I also felt no mood to taste the delicacy, and soon left there. on way to return my dorm, I first thought It was just a case to refrain myself from indulging dwelling with my son weekends. I can suffer and that's all. woz can enjoy light heart everywhere and anytime. in dorm I published event photos and videos and more turned peaceful. then I gradually saw sins and risks in my son's spiteful mom's death journey. my son shouldn't take the bait to sink, by the weight of his mom's dirty tuitions she gathered in shameless home hours from preying PRC cheap parents. I sms my son lately around 10pm and told him my thoughts upon the undue consumer commodity harmful for a kid, for its his dying mom's entertainment, meaningless and drainful. in the next morning I napped all the morning, gathering courage to cope my loneliness and self-supportive. I decide to live up with my sites, zhone portal, for holy commitment and longest prelude of my 1109 years life of China Empire inherited from my ancestor, from my dad, God in Heaven now, for my son and my offspring still at large in their idle times ample and anxious free. God dad, I pray for strength and luminance inside for glow and growth. I pray holy mercy for the aging and solitary in molding my kingdom and generations. Dad God, I saw so many meanings in comparing Mideast and Eastern Asia, and life's withering and blossoming and their mountain difference. let me put it under lightment. let my mission more prominent, Dad God.