this weekends i slept a lot. baby's mother, ema, tentatively separated her and our baby from me for days, and i got clear my departure from her was set. i hated to leave my baby son any moment, and the evil family of ema's, gathered strength these days to persuade her holding baby as her owning and prevent my holding dear to baby sooner the better. in most broking-heart moment i pray to God that he should know the demon, but in peace i know no one can alert the judge of Final. who owns, who has, who lost, all inscription. these days i felt burning upon the moment which gathering momentum after my girls in need of me, their bride and master in house as well as in world, sending me lunar new year's gift to let me equipped myself with my first camera and notebook, and new and first shoes in years, of reunited with my most beloved. i don't know where they r and how far we remotely contacted, but my balance was shaky with concerns with my awaiting sweat-hearts. i hope i can enjoyed living with my girl, zhou, masheng, while seeing my baby son under eyelids, till he start his journey necessary and independent on the earth. today in ema's house, i can't evade her softened attitude to me but i gradually made it that i don't belong to her, no matter how she recognize the fact. i belong to my Empire. never ema's dirty family can bargain with, including my baby son, the God. i don't want to hurt her, including her insults all years in my time unpolished and beneath under earth in the past ten and more years in Qiqihar, the eccentric place i don't like.
who said i don't like snow? its again a saint moment of being baptized and saved by her, with her beautiful snow-white. dirty to dissolved in soil and hidden to be ignited like diamond. in the afternoon and night i was remind that my once beloved, girl Fang, now acted actively behind the scene. what she can get from me, i had laid it in my announcement in my google groups, like benzyrnill or faezrland, in the moment before i left Qiqihar to my home town last time in end of 2006, after my grand dad left me and my baby son admitted my absence in Qiqihar then. its a painful time but i never walk backward.
its time for sleep, in this silent room, after baby slept earlier tonight and shifted by his mom and herself to our bedroom. God, u see my beloved girls, that's my life i put in u. look after them and wait me to re-bloom here or in another place. i oath i will take u all in my arms and under the crown. i oath i m ur God and bride forever, proud as the Godfather. God, just take me away to the palace i should in, and live with my pleasure and eye-candies. i never look back.
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