11/6/2014
2nd hometown flight tour planning.^ yesterday I was sorry for distant from my hometown sunshine while Qiqihar, northeastern China, frequently cloudy in May, 2014 even in Jun. then 2nd hometown tour came into me, with my son via flight.then I launched to raise fund from my hometown & alumnus in Nankai Univ. I also told my elder sister who will cooked for us, and my son under his mom's custody to prepare. this dawn dreamt all my alumni leaving for party or treat,except me lost something &desperate trying to retrieve. my passed mother cooking banquet for us. she kindly urged me among her guests no harsh. after peed I dreamt I tried all means to evade but still proved solid choice in the 2nd hometown tour. last week google service fatally blocked by China surveillance, which brought many inconveniences for freedom seeker in the doomed country. my son made proud progress in his video game,Shin Sangokumusou 7 with Moushouden, and we talked a lot about the famous Chinese history and heroes in the period. I'm surer my world view shared with my son, glories under Holy. soon after our first flight hometown journey, I told him we unable to afford the travel,which cost about 10,000 CNY, in several years. he admitted. now I informed him my new plan, even among harder PRC's economy, I hope we share faith in God's, in his plenty, his save. we will go off on Jul 21 and return on Aug 23. we like travel so much! not several occasions when we met coach bus ported near his mom's community, I remarked, how wonderful if we just step in and leave for weeks. We need to know our free space and what its capacity. we enjoy absence awhile on our hard-brew duty, for worship, for elation of sure things and for proud. God, dad, I have insight on funding not easy, grant me a happy journey which means freedom, heats, delicacy, funs of play. dad, afford our journey wonderful as its last one, and brings more fresh in this longer tour. God, let me handle all the travel stuff to ensure our indeed travel. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Queens into new family fruitful. thx dad, in this sunny morning.
5/6/2014
dreamed of consulting smart guy about my dignity. ^dreamed anxious about my sexual arouse not strong enough. then visit one junior middle school classmate, Chen Yangsheng, a slim, tall and sensitive prodigy with enviable silver complexion and one of smartest pals in my memory. he led me to ramble and made checklist to test my tendency. after some close questions he raised to inspect, I entrusted him and told him how I felt gifted or chosen since I was young. a kid boy or girl squat near us and watched us, before we end talk and I woke up. yes, I really sensed how I assured about my destiny of chosen when I was a kid. I was trusted by so many noble people, including my parents and siblings. I was so sure that most things in the world won't hurt nor break me, eventually. I felt the pain and proud to claim the fact, before a scientist like Chen. its a mild sunny morning after sultry yesterday, and dwelling rains in May, 2014. passed lunar dragon boat day costs more than expected but joys be worth it. we rushed to pick a 3D animation in cinema but regret after found its a Chinese product. we also rushed to pick a steak buffet after movie, but son didn't eat much among the rich choices. next day I treated him fish hotpot, for I missing fish with hot peppers cooked in my hometown, but we again didn't find proper compensation, at least not in the meal. day by day I saw my son's growth of independence, it sometimes hurt by my presence. but at least this holiday, I saw my son delighted together. we made progress in video games as usual. God, I beg ur assurance of mighty of love, overcome of rebellious teenage and adulthood. I beg u of innocence of company in his holy glory. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China, my girls into new family fruitful. dad, God, allow my son space in such a condensed cell of surveillance. cover us with enough sleep in front of dark eyes and evil speculations. thx, dad.
29/5/2014
dreamt of Tibet alumnus, Benba Chungdak. ^dreamt first we making a living as street vendor. then Benba Chungdak quit. soon we found we have to make a living from scratch again, for our family, or our parents unable to support us. we first each vend on street. Benba Chungdak with his art college classmates, Li Moufeng, etc, grouped to sing opera in non-traditional way. in such a hard life in dream, I counted on Benba so much and prayed for better life for us. one of our relatives visited us but didn't help. finally Benba Chungdak and his alumni invented singing and lives a life by performance. When I wake up I tried to blog it. then I reviewed how I dependent in dream on him, esp in hard living. its almost 20 years passed since I last contacted him who waiting graduate in Tianjin art college while I just worked in QRRS, a SOE. May's deficit passed tearfully after my eldest brother's only daughter loaned us ￥1000. yesterday QRRS dispatched a bonus, including ￥300 to me. God, since the rain season I relaxed in ur bliss. these nights I watched English drama, "The white Queen", which brings so many meanings and visions, let me see how sin equals to death, and its trap the lifeless struggle. merit lives upright and timeless, while abnormal emotion/mind lapses like shadow. I see history self-reveals and doesn't explain. I saw glory and grace untouchable. I saw throne in my title as prescribed. God, long wave of historical acting roles' influence is so clear and delusive for a usual human lifespan, I beg ur mercy and fortress. God, dad, lead my Royal China through 1109 years' China Empire coming wholly and pure. bring my girls and children beautiful and mighty. thx, dad, God.
21/5/2014
Dreamt eating fish with childhood pals in hometown village. ^likely I missing some childhood friends, like Zhu Yangchun who graduate and open his dental clinic in a small town then shift to HuangShi, 2nd level metropolis in Hubei Prov., Zhu Hongnong, one of my best friend in Zhudajiu, whose father is a worker and fed his family well,etc. this dawn dreamt we gathered in hometown village, Zhudajiu. I bought a squid. we started to eat its small parts. then I asked a pal's mother, a kind woman and died in her prime time, took its remain from her lintel or balcony. I shift it to where we gathered. its alive and cling onto my skin with its suckers. I feared somehow and read instruction how to kill it quick. arrived the place I asked pals kill it smart with scissor, knife. we then enjoyed the delicacy I recently frequently missing. last night it likely shallowly rained. I saw wet ground from window in dawn. my niece loaned me last night, remitted me around 11am. God, the dream shown me how many kind and fantastic people stayed joyfully in my life, enrich my past so much. no matter how frustrated sometimes by my tribe, I was enchanted by them. God, dad, reinforce me with faith in world justice. God, grant us a fish banquet this month or later. bring me sooner my Royal China to revitalize me. thx, dad God.
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