10/1/2015
enjoy free web.:: these days just settled vpn and surf in boundless. I intended to prepare my son his now payment online tool, enrich his vision of cyberscape. but paypal doesn't allow he using my bank account, insists card/bank account owner must identical with its account. that failed so many tries, led me searching out the web for several days. later I realized my son unable to be facilitated on web his own financial tools before he grows up. so I finally resorted to ask my kid brother to deposit some cash in my son's paypal from his business account's balance. he helped me near 10pm. in gratitude I talked about my view upon my debt burden and workout, future social prosperous an innovative infrastructure any non-tyrant nor cheating government responsible to bring out. this dawn I dreamt joined army, escorted to visit military base in Tibet. in a deep cave I with soldiers have to bent & twist body to enter the dangerously narrow maze. that soon shocks me in claustrophobia and woke up. Its near 6am. after I finished relinking family youtube channel with google+ vanity name, I notice 2nd disabled assets with google: my gotrus google sites disabled, beside yesterday its blog locked down for spam. I never intend spam at my blog which so dear to me. God know what's the problem with my google space in buffeting. God, dad, I saw so many prayed comes true. grant me peace on my cyberspace periphery. bring me sooner my shop to glow and grow. bring me sooner my Royal China in testimony. thx, dad, in this afternoon soon I will reunite my son.7/1/2015
dreamt of passionate sex.::these 2 days researched alternative vpn solution against sinking PRC's surveillance. my first vpn experience is with linost. but my chromebook can't access and I filed a question of my problem but loosely answered by its careless support team. so I envisioned behind the curtain there is state intelligent agency's intervention. I want keep budget tight,too, for my most usage just browsing web and online assets' confidential operation. then I found ssledge solution, which likely Chinese security product. I want overseas vpn but uncertain if their service stable dominated by GFW, the world largest local Interent, a jungle of tyrant's prey. equipped with supportive salary recent, I purchased the ssledge rapid minutes before dinner. after roamed in chill, I leisurely research the loot in armchair. its so simple to configure, so portable to adopt encrypted traffic any device. on bed I got idea to allow my son's pad connected to official android market, lest my sweaty effects to download pirate games which mostly can't run or risk of virus positive. in dawn dream I dreamt my passionate sex with my fiancee, watched in a tiny condensed space like dorm. the neighbor woman, likely my senior middle school alumnus now in Wuhan and lives rich, commented on my private life with my girl. then I found drifting away from my girl in dream. later I missing my fiancee and sought out everywhere in the miserable dream. God,dad, where is my safe house under espionage? grant me an adequate space for my job if its meaningful. bring me sooner my Royal China to site new century of our influence. thx, dad, I saw my life in constant improving. let my girls join me timely.2/1/2015
dreamed of reconnecting my unseen son. ::in dawn dream I visited my once girlfriend in Nankai campus. her parents attempted blocking me lest my hurting their daughter again. I wrote novel or something on street and constantly contacted our classmates and her family and finally I saw our son with the girl. her husband, a Wang, accompanied us. I giggled my son lots of trifles and my son is so smart, esp. emotionally, and immersed in the happy gathering. his mom follows closely with her husband. its our first time meeting since graduate, for our son since his birth I was not informed, but my son never hesitates to acquaint me, his missing dad. the once girl, a Liu, now lives in Hongkong. likely terrified by my eyes inflammation pestered me life long since my mom infected me in a visit in my senior middle school, she overused medicine and damaged her lens. now she said almost blind. yesterday my son ported a night in my dorm. for not foreign movies available, we postponed twice the bimonthly event till last morning we watched "Khumba". my son so satisfied that he didn't want to shopping in Walmart as scheduled next anymore. I managed to hold him to the supermarket and bought him nuts as I long time planned. he constantly unease upon her mother's jealousies and fury of been forgot on way home. however, God saves us by let a neighbor girl student joined for tutoring in time, for that's the most motivational thing his mom buys anytime. I fed my son with salted yellow croakers, honey coated walnuts, pistachios and beef jerky we just bought when he played game on his pad. later his mom again pretendedly domineered, let son go to skate while my son loathed. so I suggested fetching my son roaming outside. I carried him some distance, then he walked. we gabbled about video game we just played a lot. returned to dorm, I did some cleaning and read news delayed. that's our happy new year holiday. God, dad, recently I got another bonus, ￥1200 from QRRS, my once and long time employer, but debt gap and living expense sometimes makes me even disowned. grant us safe in new year when I have instalment loan to pay on my own poor salary, near ￥1000 monthly. bring me sooner my Crowned Queen, Asoh Yukiko, from Japan, and my girl Lyu, girl Zhou, girl TW, into my life. allow me give birth my other children holy blesses. warrant promised land for 2 related nations beyond a narrow strait. in the affirmative 2015, I see fondness far beyond.27/12/2015
dreamt of joblessness. ::dawn dream brought me into Nankai Univ again. I was told by classmate usual student graduate in third year in campus, left another year in college to prepare enter society. for my academy stained by cheating in test, I unable to graduate normally. then in campus I toddled everywhere to find not a single thing I was concerned. I was jobless, literally. I saw usual students exercise with their mentor, one of them is the dean, who trained his students brave by let them one by one jumping to ground from higher floor. they r engaged and not jobless. then in the nightmare I tried all means to be jobless, isolated from daily life of making living, like a ghost. yesterday I succeeded charged my google voice and localphone. my credit card failed to charge overseas several times previously, but this time I broke barrage. in the blessing night I reviewed my son's situation, unease under school burden, I knew he want join me, be part of my family business. I felt sorry for him, and resolved to accept him, no matter what is, in God's mercy and grace. I accept if he rests under my roof, God, u see how it endurable. impulse drove me near 7pm over to his community where I ate western Chinese noodle from a restaurant operated by a young couple from northwestern China, even I have eaten my dinner in dorm canteen. the wife looks like a Uighur, whose beauty inspired me deeply. I guess their business in stalemate and I daringly hope they safe in sloppy economy. for too late for bus, I didn't visit my son, but just after settled in dorm, I saw him online, first time in the week when his elemental school exam worsen & upset him doubled by his mom's scorns. that's a good day starts. God, with this month exceptional salary, I was greatly cheers up, but not my son, to whom I didn't gift. I recognized the problem just after I returned to dorm from dispatching my support my son's living. then next day another huge bonus, ￥1500, arrived. with which I gifted my son 500 RMB. he didn't too much motivate by it but I know its right. God, ur affirmative implants hope in me, through so many turbulence. grant me a constant VPN connection, bring me sooner my Royal China to seed other children of mine this earth. ensured me of grace and thanks holy. in this sunny morning I make sense of blogging.
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