not too long, not too soon.

Sep 19, 2016

I was likely in tourism to Taipei. when we lined up in front of parliament hall, I bored and scratched pocket, then finger nails drag out a toll of large amount old era bills hidden. my neighbor schoolmates found at once and yelled. I evaded chase and made sure the amount is large. I or schoolmates commented: in communism anything you found will be confiscated, or seized by larger organization and only in lawful nation your findings belongs to u. then in the monitor and a girl schoolmate's house in Taipei they invited me. her mother preparing meal for us. the monitor persuaded me honestly to check the ancient bill again and try to save in bank. when I heading to bank accordingly, the monitor and the girl trying to accompany me. its about 5am, after noted the dream I returned to bed. dreamt jogging on road near qrrs, my once and long time employer. met many foxes running around, they didn't attack even fearsome. then more flying mouse, flying crane or flying pig or goose, with their baby under their belly in air. then in the girl schoolmate's house I busy writing down my dream. her mother blamed me not helping her clean house. I told her blogging and shift away to write on a paper pens holder. this 2 weeks mostly fought GFW for my son's access English web. his internet via vpn insanely blocked. I sometimes a full morning tried all means to penetrate the iron curtain, just aiming bring my son amazon prime video, among which lots of qualified kid English TV programs. I also prepared myself an alternative os for secure operation, android-x86. like in cold war I frequently felt insecure against government backed hacking in sinking PRC, world largest and last hooligan. this weeks mostly raining. the rain drop is the most in my 25 years in northeastern China. I enjoy the rhythm so much! also in the rain I picked my son to dine out while his mom arranged a boy schoolmate of my son visited their house. my son accompanied the boy schoolmate till saw him off. our shoes both sucked by water but fortunately its no cold. we ate fish but woz ate less. returned to dorm, I sensed my son's lose in my unable to prepare him friendship, career, payment or reward like I prepared him tablet, cellphone or smart watch. I sensed his loneliness and uncertainty ahead, while I demanding upon his focus. next morning I resumed more or less courage, known that I can't cover my son his life but God does. I sang in my workload to reinstall his dell notebook os. in dining out I told him I will do my best and likest as usual. he admitted. last day of lunar Mid-Autumn holiday he asked to dine in dicos, after near half year absence since our debt crisis. God dad, grant us financial independence. bring me sooner my Royal China to support my life and family. bring me my Empire peaceful for glory of the Son. free me from prison and notorious of debt trap. in the rainy Autumn shed more sunshine to warm my bed. thx, dad God.

Sep 3, 2016

dreamt of my relocation. last night the rain rhythm was one of the most beautiful moment in my life. this morning I felt sleepy and dreamt of in my hometown with my teenage friend, Fang, a professor now in my crisis of jobless. I saw myself rode a bike on mountainous road to visit Fang's village, where he suggested I trying to find a job in City Huangshi, means yellow stone, where he once worked there. I said I would be a driver then seek promotion to office work, refuted his suggestion of straightly more elegant job he will help. my son and his mom arrived before my departure. my son is very smart and touchingly attached to me. we tried our best to farewell with hope of survive and larger grace. its unclear why there was no bitterness in dream with son's mom. the rain lasted for more than 2 days, longest ever in my impression of Qiqihar where 25 years spent for holy commitment and glory before sticking out. this week I saw how beautiful a sound system can be. the new bluetooth speaker works independent with its own os, battery. I can rely it to entertain myself out of computer and online. harness my listening I will be less bored with too much reading online. in this aim, I bought a google chromecast audio yesterday for audio ebook and podcast in Chinese websites, during credit debt crisis which weighted my heart. I even envision I will listen some online university courses like accounting, economics, statistics, etc. God, dad, I never regret for what I spent in last 2 years by my credit card, every hardware substantially improve my living standard. grant us new gears update current times and meaningful for future we share with the world. bring me sooner my Royal China to update the broken infrastructure under evil communism administrative abusing absent Lordship in my ancestor's title. bring me sooner my new family with my Queens and offspring. thx for the sunshine upon my visit my son 2 hours later.

Aug 31, 2016

a laughable dream. in dawn dream in my hometown while I busy with my stuff, my nephews, a dear and a farer relative, watching TV quiz program. then they won prize of ￥70,000. that's great but I'm not moved and continue my work. then the TV program producer woman from Shanghai visited with my passed mother's companion. soon I got known their plan, they want reward me for my higher education background for promoting their program's popularity, instead of the 2 kids. before I reply I woke up. last night I busy lately around 0pm till music library all settled for my new bluetooth speaker. I previously backup quite some music library but till got some new albums from domestic online shared space I felt satisfied. yesterday PRC broke down my vpn just before I setup the new gadget for google music. I contacted support crew of vpn but yet figure out what the problem was. that proves my doubt that GFW still have control upon my vpn as well as internet which among every level from root to endpoint in their manipulation. last week my son brought by his mom who hated and challenged me quite long, to tourism to far northeastern seashore now under Russian control. the small woman tentatively denied informing me their destiny, and let down my son's mobile as usual. in the 7 days esp lately around Saturday, now that dorm canteen operator held their sister's wedding ceremony and out of service, and I had only ￥30 in pocket, I missed my son very much and unable to reach him in air. I felt the gap son's mom tentative torn up between me and my son under her custody. I felt the despise my son shown influenced by his sinful mom. in the night I thought through if I live without my son's visit and fight for new family on my own from scratch again, and felt quite ready. but next day after I buzzed my son as holy lets, after we reunited and known their tour in neighbor city across border, I forgive their bigot. I brought my son to cinema and dined out after that. God arranges a bonus from QRRS, my once and long time employer, ￥500. I returned remnant of debt for buying woz sony sw2, recharge restaurant subscription of Formosa pie. the rest I shifted to son's mom or the grandma for laundry for me, first time in half year since the credit crisis and unable to pay my support for son's living cost. its as glad as usual weekend reunion except on Monday. returned to dorm I waiting for my dear sound entertainment gadget so hard. setup like a breeze, then amazing workable arrives. while google music unavailable in PRC at the moment, I listened music archives all day. isn't it a wonderful world of innovative tools?
God dad, I'm so satisfied by your dome. bring me sooner my Royal China to deserve the ever fresh new world. rid me off debt and embrace the brave new world. grant me new family with my girls and steers my vested kingdom to new millennium to be more prosperous and peaceful.

Aug 23, 2016

dreamt of just graduated. in dawn dream I gathered with schoolmates before leaving for society. I commented after philosophy major we do understand better abstract noun and use it better. I again didn't attend graduate exam and gave up applying my certificate of bachelor. after almost all other schoolmates left I stayed with my beloved girl to farewell the dean office. I holding my girl who will stay in Tianjin, where her hometown and work in petroleum industry, deeply and she accepted with tendering. I will make living with what I have except scholar proof. when the office administrator woman saw our way off, she told me anytime when I need my certificate, I can return to her and she will help. in dream my university schoolmates mingled with senior middle schoolmates. for example, Zhang Chongfu, my Nankai alumni who loaned me ￥2000 back to about 2008 appears, but the girl accepts me as my girlfriend, likely my senoir middle schoolmate Luo Hui. its really touching for after so long we didn't express love each other in campus but still she accepts me at once after I caress her, and we mean sincere in our first social occupation for living together and support each other. and our schoolmates, the faculties so kind. its a bright morning now. my son again brought by his relentless mother into tourism. the woman copy my way of life and to my son, enjoys current life without spares. previously she just deposit and grab any changes into her wallet. but now she desperate to spend off before our son's future expenditure in growth. is it her conspiracy or suicide in hatred, I don't know, but she lost base of trust and stability. my son visited my dorm last Friday. with borrowed ￥300 we well treated. we tried order our dinner as planned for a long time and ate in dorm first time. my son played video game and watched video online while I busy with sorting my corporate email accounts and sharing them among zhone google apps users. next morning I continued the remnant of the task, after the night VPN unstable and I couldn't synchronize my work online. before we left for KFC breakfast my son still played awhile video game and we enjoy his success through a checkpoint after hard battles against PLA. Sunday we did haircut, where I talked political VIPs among surprised other customers there. in his mom's house I accompanied him till his mom returned near 6pm. we gamed, jogged outside in sunset and buy ice cream for his refrigerator. returned to dorm the developer of our bought app, reply messenger for sw2, replied us on twitter. so nice! dad God, this month my salary improves to ￥2500, pl maintain the increasing and alleviate my credit debt step by step. bring me sooner my Royal China to cater to our land harvest. bring me closer to girls I longing so long. engage me with my cyber startup and my tender love with my girls.