golden leaves leaving branches.

23/9/2015

in world without exception. dreamt living among Chinese and foreign friends in western country. all familiar and lack of passionate due the familiarity, inc sex. then in my own house I farewell family and picked a football and left. then played soccer awhile with some kids on square with several footballs. I saw without exceptions the world will turn unenergetic and sedentary. I finally intended leaving behind my football those kids around and went for new and unknown bare hands. the dream likely an echo of recent comment my son, woz said on last Sunday when we failed rip 2 dusts from our newly replaced screen of asus fonepad for touch screen can't maintain intact after opening the sealed case. I said perfectionism led me sad upon the careless mistake, and my son replied, he also an perfectionist. each time I was capable financially to improve my son's living, I presented him the perfect way in time and space.last Sunday when I returned to my QRRS dorm, found his new moto nexus 6 arrived at dorm gate, I didn't hesitate and took a taxi to dispatch the gift to him immediately without a break in my dorm. I know he deserves perfect service, and surprise to enlighten the day. whatever the world more and more turns planned, surprise is efforts to pursue and inspiring to achieve. God, I know guaranteed barrier-breaking ahead, still I feel burdensome in my credit overdrawn. I know lots of testimonies ahead to train me, to manifest the chosen, but God, I pray here no matter how hard, joy of living baptises me plenty. I didn't anticipate war, I didn't anticipate torment, I didn't anticipate of destruction massively, just keep fun of living, run love in soil and root. dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China, bring google service here. bring delicacy I still enjoy. grant me more offspring, grant me new marriage. thx dad God, in this overnight rain and sunny morning.

4/10/2015

dreamt of hidden state surveillance. dreamt of process of joining KFC franchise, which I occasionally read it from a KFC notebook in son, woz's mom's house when I accompany him writing his homework. quite some students there ate the fast food.I contacted 3 managers of the franchise. two of them, both woman, led me to another franchise where just preparing opening. from an erotic book I got know hidden surveillance from PRC government. with borrowed scanner I saw our family documents issued by government shows "unauthorized" tag under some classification. with the hidden separation in national document we can't buy largest KFC food bundle. but among those kid students, and in the newly opening franchise a tall woman lend us her document to buy ourselves largest KFC bundle. its a boring national day holiday in PRC now. I had to eat one meal a day in the week long holiday. Chinese holiday mostly borrowed from western Culture, esp Christian, but they didn't arrange holiday according week, the fixed circle among other time periods, like month, year, season, etc, but gathered and shift into an exceptional lengthy absence from routine life.Chinese in PRC hate ordinary life, they always anticipate selfish survival of world catastrophe in each family closed celebration to eliminates their rivals from disorient of united world. as to me I dislike Chinese holiday very much, and doomed it to change. but to my son, woz, he likes every chance to be free of schooling. we made progresses among pad games and pc games we loved. I especially glad won some hard battles in video games blocking so far. I also purchased first time last night on steam platform, for woz's favorite game he called it his golden time. my 2nd elder sister loaned me another ￥1000 which quite helping me fix shortage of credit after over-withdrawal. heat system switching from QRRS enterprise to municipal utility reportedly testing to run today. I already equipped my dorm with dehumidifier and works fine. God, dad, my credit already mostly turned debts unchangeable, pl grant us freedom to enjoy credit card as usual. coming months I have to pay our diamond domains, grant us financial support to maintain our cyberspace infrastructure. bring me sooner my Royal China to allow me feed my offspring, future princesses and princes, for the even greater prospective. dad, let our year end rich and meaningful.

12/10/2015

dreamt of crossing fire. its a sunny Monday morning after my first relaxing PRC national day holiday since divorce my only civil marriage. for PRC mainstream likes escaping from routine and celebrating their tiny world's salvage through gathering weekends with holiday mostly imported from Christian to longest period to deny normal job as well as service mutual benefits.then I mostly out of meals and have to cost more to eat restaurant. 2015 PRC national holiday I usually ate a meal a day, but every meal I tried my best to treat my son, woz and myself a banquet. we also invited woz's mom once to dine together for the grouponed banquet rich enough for 3 people or more. she more or less at a loss upon the delicacy we enjoyed. then she gradually turned hostile against my dining out with son. last Saturday dusk I visited my son in drizzle. my broken shoes wet and I asked my son's mom to find me another shoes still stored in her house since our breakup step by step. she retorted I was not up to talk to her. the dinner with my son in a Korean cuisine restaurant in downtown turns gloomy. woz ate less, complained I picked him pork disgusting. when we returned his mom's house, all my shoes singled out and the woman demanded I brought them with me in my dorm. during the dinner I decided to soften my tongue lest crisis the relentlessly aggressive woman seeks, so I asked her allow till my situation improved, esp current dorm too humid. she glad to hear that and in the night she consulted me twice upon national ID card, removing my role in residential book. My assertion my independent living standard let her relieved, she wanted to assure she didn't burden extra losts in once marriage for a new marriage she and her mother must engaged for years and now almost forged. the night I watched my son fought in his favorite video game, "Teenage Mutant Turtle Ninja" I just bought him from steam platform costs near $15, unstoppable in chapters. his mom got her wanted and sad and blow lots of nose. I fetched 4 pairs of shes to my dorm in drizzle by bus. God not allows me too weak upon the demanding woman's intimidation after. the night I dreamt flying again, much confident and higher capacity of load, and helping other young people to fly. Sunday morning I made proud progress in my game, "sniper elite:Nazi army". my son partially on his pad aside me. when I led my son preparing shower pack as usual, his mom attempted interfering. she acclaimed son's swim lesson hygienic enough not to visit spa. I rebuffed and we left for early lunch at dico's, for the woman rearranged son's piano lesson near noon, hurry to catch after shower in pubic spa. my son enjoyed chicken as usual in the Taiwanese franchise restaurant. We returned on time, woz soon let to practice piano while his mom guarded aside him. in the night I dreamt gun conflicts with traitor in justified commitment. 2 Nankai Univ alumni from my hometown neighbor county, Huangmei, who help me dissolving among younger graduates when I sought master program back to 1999 without a proper candidate privilege and had to covertly borrow a berth in graduate dorm. the 2 guys also witness my broken heart with a girl collegian lives in neighbor dorm and exerted acid influence before I finally broke down. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China when it grows. grant me new family and offspring before I worn out. coming months will renew our diamond domains, guarantee my credit card capable and we actually affordable.

Photo Description: a full year's workout, QRRS 4th dorm completes in final stage. who will live in the nice building?
Photo Description: my QRRS dorm in 1st building, a humid, cold but neat niche benzrad never owns. poor as he is, rich as its meanings.
Photo Description: a clear sunny day from view of benzrad's QRRS dorm view. the road is closest to QRRS front square and busy no matter workday or weekends.

13/10/2015

warm dreams. yesterday I first time put on woolen sweater in 2015 winter. the heat system likely examing, water makes sound through tubes. In the warm night I dreamt of my dearest dad, youngest sister in a camp, where dad's colleagues in forest station also brought their kids. my dad is so real and vivid in dream, that I woke up and made note on my phone for recall. then dreamt with my once QRRS cable TV station colleagues, they emphasized discipline to group themselves together. then dreamt in my hometown or a small town, I busy with fix an old tape, likes a floppy disk, my dad gave me as answer to my questions. the tape loosed outside and I managed rewind inside. then I hurry to buy a cinema ticket. near the box office there is a hole and a badger lives in. I managed to captivate it which isn't much hostile.Its a golden early winter morning, dad God, I just cash advanced from my PSBC credit card via a newly setup SPD bank branch near dorm to return canteen operator's loan. the very good news for coming month's credit pay back is each credit card's minimum repayment around ￥1000, much lower than September's.I will needn't borrow to deal repayment, and last month I had to ask son's mom to loan me 1000rmb with which she despised me. God, dad, I'm very confident upon coming years' harvest, pl grant us steady growth and consolidated meaningful moments in life stream that's our built. bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain tinder for future galaxy. let me berth earth again for seeding, dad God.

means rich.

18/9/2015

woz's first smartphone, a nexus 6. first dreamt passed Nankai Univ alumni, Xiao Jindong, the only one committed suicide after failed to find himself social position after returned to his parents' house, working together with me in factory. he fixed machine while I assisted. then I lead to play video game in the factory. soon Wang Sichong, son of Chinese billionaire and web celebrity, lead several teenage join us. he has his own set of vr and played so immersed among the factory with his pals. but when I ready to leave with my chromebook, he asked to buy my game gear, no matter how much I charge him. I woke up with pride of my chromebook I bought from US with so many efforts and persistence in waiting. last week I experience so many joyful moments with my son. I more and more expecting staying with him when I can't find pleasure in my routine in dorm. to avoid boringness, I shopping online several times. delivery always excites me, but most exciting is handing over our purchased to my son and see him open the goods from e-commercial. a week ago I risk bankrupt and bought him his first smartphone, a nexus 6 by motorola priced ￥2500, for It rarely selling by amazon China, esp in a short period. otherwise I had to buy overseas and risk PRC's customs' seizure abrupt, for google products, even almost all digital tools, banned by the sinking tyrance domestic. it due to arrive these days, and I have been looking forward to it. my son, woz, last weekend brought by his mom to visit her hometown relatives. the bitch ordered no digital gadgets brought. I persuaded harshly my son fetched my pad against boring, and unfortunately the pad screen smashed when he tried to recharge it there with damned borrowed charger due shaky hands. I first time recently felt sorry and sad upon leaving old friend like the pad. but after visit local computer market, the screen glass told might replaced affordable. God, isn't it so nice? I felt more linkage with my pad, more cherishing life in ordinary. now Its Friday morning, this afternoon I will fetch my son to visit my dorm monthly. God dad, pl ensure my credit not all turns into concrete debts, pl keep freemium for us enjoying convenience and usage of credit as usual like currency. in coming year end pl help us clear some debts and ease to celebrate happy moment like others. thx dad, pl bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, and our glorious offspring, for holy task, for promised Empire and Royal garden nordic.

8/9/2015

bitter Arab world, & dreamt of mi.com and its founder Leijun. its second night I slept in new and thicker quilt my kid brother bought me last year. its quite cozy in cold September night. in dawn dream I saw Leijun, founder of mi.com, a Chinese smartphone maker and known Steve Jobs admirer operating his company: training young employees, public relation, personal charisma. we didn't talk in dream for knew each other's reservation. there r lots of young people attracted afore, including myself needing investment, to the CEO in his prime time, a former long time programmer just taught by computer science from America soon after PRC's poverty drove opening policy, and he admits being idol. the blind young people reminds me the ongoing refugee crisis in Europe, islamic war in middle east drove millions Arabs fled their islamic nation, seeking refugee in Christian world. I hated the situation as known so hard to migrate to democratic world being Chinese, esp in PRC. those arabian losers in their homeland dump to advanced countries just as wished by their selfish tyrant in poor middle east barren by Arab thousand years. they silence upon the brutality in their homeland but in Europe they adopted all democratic means, protests, propagandas,human bodies as weapons to block police, social media on which most negative, violence, killing,torment brought ugly in limelight by them. Steve Jobs, the best son of Arab educated by Christian who built apple.com, will known in future world as most greedy profit squeezer and fetishism, and void of short glamour. Christian put hope in saint baby who saves the world, while islamic breed cattle of kids non-innocent and trains them brutal murderers like what happening in ISIS and recent war history in northern Africa. Arab pretends strong in the world stage but they do fell. in short time like apple into vain, world will see through the frequent cheats of islamic and Arab. united world under God will bring peace and glory to stage of unity sense, under clear undeniable truth in Majesty. God, dad, China on the half of arab and advanced western world. God, u put duty for my Royal China to broaden shiny way for Chinese apart from sins and falling. bring me sooner my Royal China to strengthen my base, dad, allow me have more children when I feed them. thx inspiring me disclose my discomfort upon times and times unbalanced indulgence upon barking islamic war machine, in this pale morning, God dad.

1/9/2015

dreamt of warm love with a teacher. in dawn dream I was a father with solid life. he sent his son, not likely woz, to study in eastern Europe. his teacher is a cordial and gracious female. when chance came as she directing son running or some other training, the father approached the sweet teacher and murmured "I love u". the moment I definitely was the father and sensed how the love warm and glamorous, when the girl teacher replied, "I love u, too". she likely a russian or came from eastern Europe, and my trophy wife. last weekend I broke deadlock in game "alien rages", made new adventure with my son, woz's companion. in fact I made 2 progresses in the game when woz failed and shifted the gamepad to me. I told my son my guilty feeling upon recently seldom try video game, left him alone fought sweatily. but I also promised him I'm returning from dominating/exhausting joyes from shopping online. life will be stiller with making use of items rather than buying new one to fill the empty.Sunday lunch we ate formosa ( www.meiyujibaijia.com ), a Taiwan franchise. its western management style, rich and ready food, modern equipments including payment tools, amazingly attracted us. after shower I tried a new game, "Just Cause 2" we recently bought from humblebundle.com, but woz soon picked it and completed 2 chapters in half an hour. shooting is funny, and gaming is entertainment, my son woz told me when I urged him to treat war field more immersive and serious in game to remain alive before reckless shooting and killing by tactically finding more shelters, more calculations before risk of life. his mom's mom returned from travel and visit her relatives in more than a month. when they returned, I left their house and my son to my dorm. just after I settled in front of my desktop, it rained dusk. in the night I slept in rain rhythm like childhood hometown. next morning I lately got up around 8am and missed canteen breakfast. on Monday I successfully activated my abchina bank account bound with new PRC's social welfare card issued to me via QRRS office, after twice delayed by the bank for equipment not ready. God, my life begging for love experience, grant me love affair, oath and new family. bring me sooner my Royal China to replace the sinking CCP, release the last sinful police state PRC into its due ghosty tomb. thx, dad God, in this shiny morning after rains.

Photo Description: a thunderstorm just after noon. the window view of my QRRS dorm, yard of newly building dorm 4th junctional to my dorm.

Aug 27, 2015

dreamt of bees pested campus. dreamt with son in Nanzhou Univ. with 3 years bachelors. there are many bees lives in the campus. every students have to care about not irritate bees from their worm above among tree's branches. I sometimes warned woz alone me not to cause bees' hostility in dawn dream which woke me before 5am. yesterday son's mom asked me to accompany my son for her school has assignment for her in end of summer vacation. I brought KFC breakfast and launched to visit my son. he busy with his andorid games all the morning while I dozed most time, after last night watched American TV soap "the good wife" overnight. we dined Japanese cuisine and I equipped myself another sd card for mobile storage. returned to his mom's house, I again didn't touch gamepad but just allowed son to play his pad game, even I felt guilty upon not gaming. I recalled and shared memories when son in his 5 years or so he asked independently tackled game challenge when we gamed together on our poor notebook, and even earlier an old radiative tube monitor. I was touched by how bravery and sincerity we treated pc games then and earned ourselves equipment upgrades in recent years we both witnessed, including online platform adoption, while I more and more left less energy to sharpen my skill among wonderful games, just like aged elder unable to bite more delicacy. returned to dorm I busy with finding an offline text editor solution till near 10 pm before quit. then again watched US drama. on bed I suddenly realized my son reported several times he usually relentless half an hour before falling into sleep on bed. God, in sudden insight of his sleeplessness my heart broken. I know how it worsen anybody's life experience. i know how long my dearest son, Hope of China, God of Universe, confronted alone with world most draining difficulty, sleepless and awake, for response upon the whole world in God's craft. God, dad, I enjoy naps so much, pl grant more sleeps to soothe my son's overworn intensified probing over the vanity fair. God, dad, grant me courage not to suffer for compensation instead of my son for his need of sound sleep, but plenty from void against zero sum game predicted by buddism, but in Christian salvage enriches both confidence and completion in relation between world and us. dad, God, Asoh Yukiko my Crowned Queen from Japan, bring me sooner my Royal China to safeguard my family's burden esp. in night dome. grant my son, woz his due relaxation and robustness.

since last resort.

Aug 24, 2015

dreamt of Japanese murdering. in dawn dream, some Japanese girls likely actress I followed in google+ appear. some of them fell into love and let me admire. then saw gangsters in Japan. a short boy commanded his pals throw a victim into lake, then electricized the water. the victim likely shocked and paralyzed. when crowd approached to the crime scene, I woke up and don't know death end or just pains as punishment. yesterday my kid brother contacted me, first by sms asking if I need to buy anything on him. I blamed him always likes to do the less money intensified tasks, rather than directly give me loan. God, I don't know where his mercy came from, but I told him my review of his bravery: 3 times saved me from asylum by led me out of the insane treatment there. I said he doesn't owe me but I owe our dad for his late youngest boy, my kid brother and his helping hand. then my brother called in, allow my detailed explanation how my life wonderful, meaningful and thankful. after the conversation he dropped me another ￥2000 in a year. I paid back my credit with the aid at once, left less than 9,000 on account yet to pay, but minimum of the month covered. last week I first time realized I need slow down my living rhythm to outrun a marathon to see out my son's growing up, till his marriage, his social presence. I had tried to present my son best of mine, it more or less exhausted me. aging put me into more and more naps. but I need a strategy to outpost our situation agile around the full journey on the earth before we settle in God's shine. every day bites me, maintains me in hope and endure. I need plan to cope the worn out. God, dad, I still in faith of my new family, my girls and my offspring arriving. grant me Royal China to home my family. bring me insight upon development of my business, democracy of China. thx, dad, this cool morning before breakfast spiritual.

Aug 19, 2015

dream of vocation. dreamt being a writer works with colleagues. then a girl newly joined.her handwriting is awesome, but only me appriciated. she makes every Chinese character glows in its center, like a ripple there. then dreamt of my writing procedure which later turns successful. these weeks mostly puffing busy. I finally setup all newly equipped gears mostly purchased from united state working, except chromecast which unable to connect google to update its firmware, nor casting functional. China surveillance formidable choking, prolonged my efforts to activate our cherished google products. the most exciting for me is woz equipped with dell chromebook 11 touch, which likes a gift celebrates son's independence/maturity. while in woz's view, he mostly cheers up by the new nexus 7 tablet, whose brand new android 5 interface, like google now, attracted any potential mind about artificial intelligence. it also rid him off frustrations on his old intel cpu asus fonepad which quite some cases incompatible with android games in google play. now the intel based tablet shifted to me, and I glad to experience a portable touch pad. since last Sunday I started to setup google services on it and now mostly ready, excepted google play store deadly blocked.God, so many unease upon overseas purchases and PRC's customs' seizure, now all fautless arrived under China ambiguous arbitrary prohibition. thx, dad, now my debt to bank mounts to more than ￥20,000, all my credit cards near stalemate. grant me freedom of financial aplenty.grant us lifestyle we enjoy so far. God, bring me sooner my Royal China to home my family, my girls and our offspring under most glorious dome. in coming monthly gathering in the week with my son, woz, Hope of China, God of Universe, enrich us with affordable shopping and delicacy. thx, dad God.
Photo Description: a late summer dusk, woz with his proud dad's companion skated in his mom's community. past month witnesses successful overseas purchases as gift for his growth.
Photo Description: a golden dusk on way benzrad daily jog after dinner, near QRRS front plaza.

Aug 8, 2015

dreamt of respective leader in QRRS.::this week my son stayed with me in my QRRS dorm, for his mom again traveled. I subscribed boarding with canteen and lunch contractor for a week, cost ￥170. the lunch server accompanys his son tour on Tuesday so we dined out 2 days before woz returned to his mom's custody. his mom actually returned on Friday, earlier 2 day than exclaimed. my son played video games, watched web TV a lot. he more and more askes my companion in game and entertainment, so I gave him a lesson of independence.he ate less in canteen but enjoyed bread meal in addition KFC he chosen.its an important journey for both of us in this week reunion. this dawn I dreamt one of CCP cadre in QRRS rarely respective, Zhou Kaiming, with whom I reached out for help when disputed with once departmental leader and been punished almost jobless, twice when I failed finding another job and returned to QRRS just after I left asylum. also to whom I asked to introduce girl Zhou, for whome I launched blogging after her departure from QRRS Dorms after her apprentice in her senior university year, to me but unavailable and absent at last graduate employee year end party I ever joined in QRRS back to 2009 or so.then dreamt my oldest nephew, son of my eldest sister, treated me well. he didn't help me much in real life.God, dad, the last gift in the pack to improve son's study and entertainment environment arriving, a google nexus 7 tablet. speed up delivery and break barrier to access google play store and other wonderful services. my son looking for it hardly, doesn't under-expect him. bring me sooner my Royal China to space my adventure promoting democracy in China, shelter sinking PRC and Chinese in God's shine. thx dad, after all these turbulence overseas purchases none failed me.

Aug 1, 2015

dreamt of strange marriage.::yesterday I visited my son as holy urged. I'm a bit loathing to do just after lunch but it turned out very productive. I first shifted my bankcomm credit card from woz to my own holding, now that he has another Postal Saving Bank credit card for daily usage. woz admitted it. than I turned talkative while my son writing his homework. I reported him recent interesting stories from news I read in the week, commented with my world view. I babbled almost 3 hours, till my son finished his homework and played video games alone. I urged him making good usage of new dell chromebook 11' touch. when his mom returned to home and drove us outdoor, I brought my son dined out in our favorite restaurant near railway station. I fed him while he busy on his android pad game. I told him merit of Japanese after I learned from watching Japanese TV soaps, unease life of scholarship disclosed from US TV drama, etc. returned to dorm, I myself wondered how much I narrative and resourceful as workout of my daily readings. the night I felt relentless. in dawn dream I dreamt one of my colleague who died in his mid-age when I worked for QRRS cable TV station. he is editor chief of the state-owned-enterprise cable TV, and almost famous within the company for his writing, for official statements, annual year end party and any enterprise cultural carnival anchoring speech. when I worked indirectly under his command, I sensed his bitter frustration as stalemate in career, lack of tech and engineering. he died overnight without any omen nor bedridden. he earlier divorced youth romantic lover then married another woman with a step daughter. his beloved daughter in his first marriage sent by him to China Liberty Army. when she left the service she settled in a middle size city southerner than Qiqihar but still in northeastern China. her wedding ceremony helped by most of her passed dad's former colleagues but not me. I narrowly avoided it among my jobless status in QRRS. I dreamt in dawn I married with the girl and same time married with another girl. my 2 family mirrors parallel in space. we had a boy and he is just smart and sound as expectation. the dream is vivid and lengthy but now I forgot most of it. next week my son will stay with me in my dorm, for his mom again travels.God, grant us a working chromecast which still blocked by China censorship from connecting and no functional. bring us sooner woz's new nexus 7 tablet which now stopped by customs after left Hongkong for more than a week. bring me sooner my Royal China to home my children and aging me.consolidate 2 bank credit limits from temporary to permanent. thx dad, in this silent morning.

silver whisper in summer rain.

7/22/2015

dreamt of climbing steep hill. :: in dawn dream with some pals climbing hills which r steep and thick of yellow earth turned from rotten rocks. one of graduates from hometown village Zhudajiu, an art student, offered a helping hand when almost climbed the top. also there r tigers among crowd, they drove farming bulls. this month almost a marathon before getting my gifts for son, woz, from US.it drove me tasteless from my routine including site building, blog, tech news digest,etc.I don't know which first, boring in work or action in adventure to power up our living and working environment, or son's mom's Taiwan tourism challenges my serving our son. but one thing is sure, I want improving my son's study and entertainment facility. I want he surfing without sinking PRC's surveillance, want him familiar with digital world from his teenage.I want him living in freedom in homeland like those bureaucracy's offspring sent overseas.I want him enjoy fruits of Christian and democracy.so I ordered him chromebook, nexus 7 tablet,chromecast, and also a chromebit for replacing windows desktop as my own workspace which frequently hacked by China surveillance. the process burning me a lot, for Chinese customs can seize them without precaution. the bundle cost me near ￥5000, with the aid of my recently improved credit limit by ccb bank I survive in face dropping salary due slump economy in China and in QRRS, my once and long time employer. in last step against PRC's Internet blocking, I bought new vpn and gee smart router, which relief my coding demands last resort breaking blocking, equip family frequently been hacked router with openwrt function. God, dad, all my efforts means I am responsible for improving our life quality within my civil space, contrast to CCP's depriving and stealth of individual freedom, unreasonable totalitarian. dad, God, grant us free cyberspace, ensure my son's secured circumstance under despaired PRC.bring me sooner my Royal China, my girls and our children in our dynasty of 1109 years. after heavy rain yesterday, grant me a sunny day to pacify the last waiting.

7/7/2015

dreamt of programming and management.::dreamt hanging with a girl whose family is a billionaire, like HTC chairwoman Cher Wang. I then closely watched the work flow of an affiliate enterprise, a spa. I started to program management software for it, from database to use case design to sql building, I almost finished it, exceptionally programming detailed in dream.

5/7/2015

heavy journey in dreams. :: first dreamt my old mother got pregnant. my kid brother and I discussed how to deal with it. then dreamt in hometown village, Zhudajiu, discussed breath exercise and Chinese traditional Kung fu with graduates in the village, and mourning a passed graduate from the village. when I napped against boring waiting for overseas package after breakfast, I dreamt traveling and dwelt at customs with 2 parcels. the customs staff probed and registered packages, and I tried to rent a upper cell to store my heavier parcel so that my mobility improved to better enjoy the scenery harbor.past week tough for me, for I looking forward my overseas purchased gift for son, a dell chromebook, to arrive sooner.Its my first international cargo. no one tells me its feasibility nor reliability. my routine work on site building also distracted by the waiting, stalemated and rarely updated. I previously pray God allow me present the solution aiming improving my son's study and entertainment environment before his tour to Taiwan in his mom's faculty delegation, but they abrupt aboard in last Friday noon, left me better prepared for the coming bliss in the securer notebook. God, what can I do to speed up the delivery? what can I soother burnout in the prolonged descending cheer? dad, God, such easier thing turns so difficult, why is the curtained hand constantly takes away and messes up? God, dad, grant us light in the end of the tunnel, fruit of faith upon burning thirst when done. bring me sooner my Royal China, my girls with my kids under my Empire lasts 1109 years ahead in eastern Asia. bring us new earth and land in milder weather zone that feeds and baptizes like charming destiny.

29/6/2015

dreamt of Islamic nation. :: in dawn dream, my 2nd elder brother works temporally in mid-east.I live in his house and waiting for him fetching meals for me. then my 2nd elder sister also in the country. I tried to figure out the relation between its custom and its religion, the Islamic, say, larger door indicating open brotherhood within them. last night I slept deeply, likely weekend reunion with my son released my endured expectations, and joy flow find basin of memory and peacefully mixed. through my business my son more and more sensed the burden of living. Saturday night I brought him to dine out in downtown grill buffet, on arrival I told him how I unease upon my debt which mounted to nearly ￥25000. then my smart son, woz, felt dizzy during the dinner, ate less than usual there while first time hangout several weeks ago we both enjoyed the rich meal.dad, God, my life here more and more turned into waiting and enduring. grant me momentous/momentum to move on, to engage myself for adventure. bring me sooner my Royal China to home the eastern Asia. permit my sites online booming in and out of cyberspace. in this golden Monday Morning, bless us new chromebook and chromecast. thx, dad.

25/6/2015

dreamt of Lyu Songya, the girl visited me.:: in dream we r senior middle school students or undergraduates. one boy student followed us when Lyu invited me errand and later I kissed her. our intimacy turns stronger in the adventure and we likely has a son. she good at academy as usual.Its clearly she first time appears in my dream. these weeks totally burning me in waiting for gift for my son, woz, Hope of China. I ordered it on taobao.com, Chinese biggest e-commercial portal, but after nearly a month the vendor told me my specified chromebook was not a touchscreen. I badly need a touch screen to allow woz play android games on chromeOS, so I retreated it. then I tried to order directly on dell.com, order confirmed and a week later canceled for my credit card not a native American one. I also ordered google chromecast for saving woz's sight: his mom recently bought herself bedroom a large LED smart TV, which attacked my son watching closely. I want him keeping a distance from TV lest worsen his eye sight. he already wears a glasses of 400. the shipment from US also needs a month to arrive me, that burns me again. these weeks I don't know why I sleepless and tasteless, or I put too much expectation in the efforts to improve my son's study and entertainment environment. God, my space kept pinched by China surveillance, pl allow me do something to engage myself meaningfully. bring me what I need to shelter my family against looming homelessness in sinking PRC. bring me sooner my Royal China to host the eastern Asia and the drifting continent. thx dad God, see soon my proud works for my son, woz.

tags: #God #AsohYukiko #life #love #Son