my family at my hometown

me with my baby son.

my baby son with his niece.

my baby with me on the Mount. Houbei.

my baby son mist in thoughts.

a new stage open for me.

i will combat like an ant for a living, with clumnsiness accompanying with age. i had closely harnessed job marketing web service dot com like 51job and zhaopin.com to post my resume, but so far only a company responded me. however, no one can break my faith to the care onto me of God. i still and forever live in hope.

pale sunshine

last night i didn’t linger too much in cafe,and by being restricted to direct connection and posting via post2blog to 3 blog hosts all successfully i finished my routine swift.returned to the dorm i read awhile my blog then went to bed after 1:30 am.i restless for quite some time and worried my hot brain.however i slept sound later and dreamed a lot of building used as prisons,and quite some people tried all means to climbed the wall to evade being trapped in the building or move from one building to another.i also know intelligent youth(ziqin or zishiqingnian in chinese) in and after mao’s culture revolution era all infected with dog behavior.some of them operate till now but still in dog’s behavior.in the mid night i heard some strange sound likes baby’s cries but the dorm or aound can’t holding any baby.when i accepted its a new birth of baby,it ceased.i woke up early and stayed on bed wondering for some time till at 11:38 am or so i got up for lunch.then i ate the apple i brought from my baby’s mother’s home yesterday and haunted outside.i jogged some time on the way to the dorm in the dorm zone yard.after qrrsers went to work i went to borrow its magazines.but the gate blocked its employees late for half of an hour.i also waited there and one of its employees ever cooperated with me to shot program for qrrs’ cable tv when i worked once there chatted with me.then the library found locked.i returned and on the way remembered i should remit to "hope project".then i visited icbc but there were queues there.i then went to post office nearby and remit 222 rmb to beijing "hope project" for impoverished children of chinese less developed area.returned to dorm i listened radio on bed since then till dinner time.most time i wondering our love and marriage in fog.in the morning when i awake i recognized u might had scheduled to study aboard.i don’t know its illusion of dog’s exertion or message directly from u.i tossed in love with u.dinner was egg and green pepper and bean curd slice.after dinner i again listening radio music on bed.the neighbors with a thin paper wall apart from my room stayed there and exerting dirty will onto me and let me have to defense.later some female visited them.i left the dorm again at 9:57 pm to here to write u.
bye.dog in the cafe pestering me so i want to be swift.i love u,never anything can change it.u might venture the western world as u r young and endorsed,but u should know i m suffering for u,by u,and to u.in every boring moment u sensed after bubbles and ebbs,u will find my gaze in expectation unbeatable and evalueable.i love u like the sea blue deep,like the mountain lofty and clear and with dignity.love u is not as easy as pains taking, is not additive as music or paintings.love is my image of ur figure in the loneliest night,flashing and disappeared in street lamps after gases of taxi and dusts of rush foot step of passengers.l love u,in doomed light in the end.i hold u in every brink of cautious eyesight.
bye.baby,my dearest kin,my kid sister,love me,and not let me slide away.kiss u with blossom.i love u.no matter which way u chose or to choose.

dry bright day

last night near 11 pm i was allowed to access most websites i had accounts via direct connection.i was seemingly encouraged to surf lately.returning to the dorm i read awhile my blog on pda then went to bed after 1:40 am.i dreamed in dawn of a guy,likely a qrrs’ graduate employee in one of the dorms,liked chinese boxing (sanda in chinese) training,who can use his leg kick the hot spot (xuewei in chinese) between eyes to let u tear.i spelt his name in dream,but after woke up his name into my mind was fang zhenjiang(square promote river).last night or in last sleep i dreamed my grand father smiling,and stay quite awhile in my dream cordially.i got up at 11:39 am and went to lunch.after lunch i strode in the open space on the south side of the workers’ palace of qrrs.when qrrser flocking to the factory,i returned to the dorm zone and jogged on the rim of the mini garden.then i returned to room to rest.i spent then 2 hours in sunshine.i know girl fang(quare) r well and ready.she now a china marine corp’s officer and temporarily working in the team of state security to monitor my web activities.she ruined the post in the new cafe about my mad history,for she can’t bear the broken story of our love in nankai unv. listening radio on bed,i roamed a lot of the pass time with brewing of love with her while seldom contacted.most songs broadcasted in the radio were love and let me even immersed in moving and forgiving.then my baby’s mother buzzed in to tell me she and my baby finished shopping.i then visited icbc,intending to remit some money from qrrs to "hope project" to subside poverty strike children of china.but only a window at service and quite some queue there.i also was told remission need national id card which i didn’t brought.so i returned to the dorm and picked my bike to visit my baby.my baby was sleeping when i arrived and his mother watching a war theme tv theater titled "pearl harbor",about japanese shock invasion to us.i sat down to eat peanuts with her.but soon my baby woke up and cried for sometimes.after him rejoiced,we played with him and let him glad.his mother ate most of the sugar gourd i bought in the way and the rest let my baby glad.then the grandma arrived with a box of apple and a box of orange.soon the girl student arrived and my baby show his friendship a lot to her,offered her oranges and hindered her from writing.when dinner was ready the tutoring didn’t finished and my baby kept offering meal to the girl student,so we suggested her to eat with us and she did.after dinner and the girl student left the grandma watched tv and we played with our baby and he really liked us to play games with him.when i found tv series concerning topic i cared i left.my baby first refused to farewell to me but later kiss me and goodbye to me.in the dorm i again felt the pains of love with girl fang(square) and a hot brain.i lean to try to cool it and found my link to the japanese girl who once studied with me in a class when i prepared my master degree entrance exam in nankai unv. .i left the dorm at 9:57 or 9:58 pm to write u.
recent snow was the ever thickest snow in the dog year of lunar calendar.it melting in day time but some of them still let the road bumpy.workers sure promptly to clean the road for travel.i like the snow very much.
bye.i love u.dear.i have 25 years with u.ur face was the faintest image in my mind.i love u so much,in every moment looking forward to being with u,with ur tall figure and slender buildup my heart tumbled.u r the most vivid dream of mine i can envision so far.i need u eager than any time.i can’t wait for our warm house and harmony family life.i kneel to the ground on which my grand father’s tablet stood to beg for ur presence sooner to me.i love u,with my heart and soul,live me a life more colorful,baby,not to let it continue being pale,i urged u.kiss u with flow of mountain steam from the most serene valley.kiss u again before bye to u.i love u forever.love me my baby.