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Tuesday, November 07, 2006

unclear morning.

i got up at 9:08 am.last night dogs' biting strangely lost its most
power and left weak part on my body indifferet any direction.i stayed
awake lately,and review my breaking-heart love with the girl likely in
family name of fang(square) when she was a sophermore in nankai unv.
and when i prepared my master degree entrance exam there.i never
regret for my deep love to her but in the dawn today i felt its her
fault and weak not to offer her trust and responsiblity to our
flashing love.and i blame all girls passed by me just left me a clue
of their fondness and emptiness and single so far. for them don't love
indeed.they love cozy life to avoid facing loneliness and cold dark in
human life and human knowledge in universe.i felt i thought with my
own truth i encountered in quite some harsh moments including my broke
down in nankai unv.. love is the most cherished gift of god, but
loneliness was the truth of routine life.i felt only i can live with
loneliness will i live with my pride and glory of my own.i needn't
god's attending, god's know my suffering in the end.he or she also
endures loneliness.what can soothe thirst for fresh flesh of girl,what
can cure the simplicity of the universe.i also got a glimpse to all my
baby's mother's attitude to me and my possible attitude to the
world,near and far,a change to attest myself.i want to change in a
pulse but i calmed to obey the silence and null rule.in doubt i
heading to my baby's mother's home and i decked a internet cafe here
half way to enjoy my interest group here.if i afford,i can live in
indifferece.if i ever love, i bleed to laugh.gaps may there, i don't
know if i will take a new stance.
bye.i love u.kiss u with sight.



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